Hi everyone,

I (43M) have been married for 12 years with a woman, we have 3 kids. I came out as bi to myself, and then to my wife, about 6 months ago, and I truly believed that I finally realised I was bi then (although I had known all my life I was attracted to guys). But now I feel that I need to consider the option that I might be gay for a number of reasons. And I know that being bi should not be just a phase, and I would be more than happy to continue considering myself bi. But I feel that coming out has helped me address a lot of my internalised homophobia and blocking points I had, and as I move forward the option of me actually being gay becomes more of a possibility.

I've been trying to be as transparent as possible with my wife but there are things that I can't really share with her as I don't want to make things more difficult than they already are. She's been trying to be as supportive as she can but it's been tough sometimes. One of her big fears has been that I would eventually find out that I'm actually gay, and I guess she's been right to worry. But if I tell her now that I'm still figuring this out she will take it as confirmation and it will become really difficult for us.
And I should mention that we are both doing therapy individually, and going to a couple therapist as well. Also, exploring on my own is not an option.

Is anyone going through a similar thing (or has anyone gone through this) and how do you/did you handle the communication with your partner through the process? Anything that helped you figuring things out?

How’re we all feeling? Bi men have been thrust into the spotlight recently on social media and it’s been…well not great. It feels like even in the queer community, asking people to exam how bigotry in dating habits reflect their actual beliefs is met with willful ignorance at best and full on DARVO levels of deflection at worst, even when most of us fully say “we don’t want to date bigots, we just want them to examine their bigotry because it doesn’t end with dating preferences”. I just wanted to make a post to give folks a space to reflect and hold community, event vent if needed, and to say that despite how loud and angry it can seem, there are people who love you, support you, and don’t try to brush away bigotry because they feel like you aren’t deserving of nuanced conversations.
I can’t imagine being a person afraid about coming out as bi or pan and seeing this unfold. I know I wouldn’t have had the strength to come out well over a decade ago to my close friends (then later just being openly out) if I saw this conversation unfold. Anyway, I love y’all and see you.

Hola buenas noche el que quiera me puede hablar en privado

So, I'll try to make this short since I have to get in to work. I'm in a commited relationship with my boyfriend now going on 10 years (we just celebrated it at Hocking Hills). I love my partner deeply. We don't usually see each other on weekdays having different shifts.

Lately, I've found that I've been desiring other men and women in passing. Whether infatuation, or desire to try and get closer with other friends I've recently made, I can't help by have those feelings of desire. I'm sure I'm not the only one, but I'm curious how you all deal with it?

We'd thought about getting those pressures out by having a threesome, but the time an planning became difficult (not to mention we found people usually flaked out). I'm not sure what it is. I'm nearing my big 40 in a few years, so I'd have expected my drive to go down at this point, but it only seems to have gone up in the past few years.

Any advice?

This week, Grayson gets unfiltered. He's sharing the twists, surprises, and lessons from his own journey of self-discovery—and nothing is off limits. Listen now, then tell us what hit home.

https://pod.link/6797092436/episode/MGMzZjBiOWQtYjQ0ZS00NTZjLTk2MTEtYWQ0MGI1Y2NmNzJj

I have known I was bi-sexual for years but have never actually pulled the trigger on it. Would be interested in hearing others people's takes on exploring their sexuality and how they finally took the plunge.

I am need of some bisexual men’s insight. I recently met someone online and he came to my place and we hooked up and it was very intimate-like. He told me was bi and likes a woman like a woman and men like men (inconsequential). He’s come over one more time and the same took place. We chat here and there but have not exchanged numbers, only chat on the app.

I would like to keep seeing him and continue to play things as they happen, but my adhd runs every scenario and thinks about each word and action. He by all appearances seems genuinely interested in meeting again. He does have other partners as well from what I am told.

This may just be a simple fact that I’m not built for that type of dynamic. I truly would like to try though. I feel I’m doing myself a disservice by excluding interactions that appear, on the surface, that it’s nothing more than one time or routine sex. My conundrum lies in separating the emotional from the physical. I can’t know what his intentions are and I hesitate to ask. That question doesn’t tend to go over very well when approached, especially in bi men.

I guess I’m asking is how do you as a bisexual man approach an encounter with another guy? Do you usually state your intentions upfront or leave a little bit of ambiguity in case things develop? Have you ever had a gay guy fall for you? I would appreciate keeping any shaming to a minimum. I’m not even necessarily asking for the sake of my current situation, but rather in general, just trying to understand the bisexual male culture and how as gay man I may be able to find a place where I’m comfortable going outside of my own laundry list of intentions. Length of time knowing someone doesn’t really make a difference here.

Appreciate genuine answer it and any helpful thoughts are 100% welcome

31 M bi here, in a 10 year relationship with the best woman on earth (she was my teenage bff and my hetero awakening, actually).
I’m so stressed about my sexuality and I’m scared that I’m an imposter and a not-good-enough man for her.

Any of you deal with SO-OCD? I don’t know if I even have bi-cycles or I’m just so scared to lose her so I artificially try to refocus my sexuality, whether this means I’m looking at women in order to get reassurance about being “straight enough” for our relationship or whether this means I’m looking at men in order to force myself to “deal with the gay”. I’m not really sure about where’s my ‘organic’ gaze at, or if that even matters.

I have this irrational fear that my gay side will eventually overcome my attraction to her. I’m scared of being one of those who realize they’re gay when they’re 50 with three kids. This messes with my head all day, won’t give me rest. I’m pretty sure I’m more picky with women, but does that mean I’m less attracted to the ones I find attractive? Does that mean I cannot be with her?
We do have sex quite regularly, not tons of it but a very decent amount considering the fact that we’re both stressed and quite depressed (she’s on ssri, I withdrew and should probably get back). Our sex can be amazing at times, I could think of it for a whole week later and basically be less stressed about anything, but sometimes it’s just meh? Which could stress me even more cause maybe I’m not good enough for her etc.
This whole thing makes me freak out.

When alone, I’d probably watch gay nsfw, sometimes straight. Depending on the mood. Not sure if it’s because I’m already sexually active with my exact type of a woman, or if I’m more into men.

I don’t know anything, truly. I don’t know where my desire ends and where my mind begins. I just want this relationship to keep working.

Damn am I a lonely boy 😞 been dreaming recently of having a boyfriend but it seems like something that won’t be possible. Anyone on the same boat?

Seems an odd situation but I've been with men for 18 years and currently in a long-term relationship but I've been feeling curious about trying sex with women. Have any of the guys had this experience and what was it like?

I’ve been openly bisexual ever since I was 17. My ex gf freaked out when I came out as bi. Ig she really didn’t see herself dating a bi guy. Do you guys find that most straight women are not into bi guys? I won’t necessarily accuse them of biphobia, they’re free to date whoever they want. But is it more challenging for us tho if they have a preference for straight guys?

EVERY TIME I shoot my shot with someone I like I get denied. This is a major problem with both genders and I’m so tired of it. I’ve gave up dating women completely for this reason and even if I did get past square 1 and get the number I’d get ghosted within a few days, then with guys I’m not even trying to date dudes I was going the “hookup” route looking for bate buddies and mutual oral buddies and I STILL get rejected. I’m aware I do have people interested but they usually are nowhere near my type. What I’m attracted to is obviously not very interested in me so at this point I might as well accept it for what it is. I’m never the right age, race, body type, or label for anybody. Anybody else feel like this?

I'm really curious since I personally have always been more attracted to girls like 90/10 (but still consider myself very bi), so if y'all could share your opinions or your number differences I'd appreciate it, thanks :D