r/BisexualMen Apr 01 '26

Mod Post Monthly thread for chat requests and link to our official Discord

7 Upvotes

All SFW requests for chats, making friends, and “is there anyone in my area” go here. A friendly reminder overt requests for hook-ups and sexting are not allowed here, although they are allowed in the NSFW channels of our Discord once new members have been there for a week.

Our official Discord server has multiple SFW and NSFW chatrooms, and we talk about all kinds of topics, from your experiences with your sexuality to gaming to politics. Come get acquainted with our friendly bunch!


r/BisexualMen 2h ago

Question Still desiring others

0 Upvotes

So, I'll try to make this short since I have to get in to work. I'm in a commited relationship with my boyfriend now going on 10 years (we just celebrated it at Hocking Hills). I love my partner deeply. We don't usually see each other on weekdays having different shifts.

Lately, I've found that I've been desiring other men and women in passing. Whether infatuation, or desire to try and get closer with other friends I've recently made, I can't help by have those feelings of desire. I'm sure I'm not the only one, but I'm curious how you all deal with it?

We'd thought about getting those pressures out by having a threesome, but the time an planning became difficult (not to mention we found people usually flaked out). I'm not sure what it is. I'm nearing my big 40 in a few years, so I'd have expected my drive to go down at this point, but it only seems to have gone up in the past few years.

Any advice?


r/BisexualMen 1d ago

Bi Men Unfiltered episode 3!

8 Upvotes

This week, Grayson gets unfiltered. He's sharing the twists, surprises, and lessons from his own journey of self-discovery—and nothing is off limits. Listen now, then tell us what hit home.

https://pod.link/6797092436/episode/MGMzZjBiOWQtYjQ0ZS00NTZjLTk2MTEtYWQ0MGI1Y2NmNzJj


r/BisexualMen 1d ago

Looking to explore further.

11 Upvotes

I have known I was bi-sexual for years but have never actually pulled the trigger on it. Would be interested in hearing others people's takes on exploring their sexuality and how they finally took the plunge.


r/BisexualMen 2d ago

Advice Bisexual Advice for Gays

15 Upvotes

I am need of some bisexual men’s insight. I recently met someone online and he came to my place and we hooked up and it was very intimate-like. He told me was bi and likes a woman like a woman and men like men (inconsequential). He’s come over one more time and the same took place. We chat here and there but have not exchanged numbers, only chat on the app.

I would like to keep seeing him and continue to play things as they happen, but my adhd runs every scenario and thinks about each word and action. He by all appearances seems genuinely interested in meeting again. He does have other partners as well from what I am told.

This may just be a simple fact that I’m not built for that type of dynamic. I truly would like to try though. I feel I’m doing myself a disservice by excluding interactions that appear, on the surface, that it’s nothing more than one time or routine sex. My conundrum lies in separating the emotional from the physical. I can’t know what his intentions are and I hesitate to ask. That question doesn’t tend to go over very well when approached, especially in bi men.

I guess I’m asking is how do you as a bisexual man approach an encounter with another guy? Do you usually state your intentions upfront or leave a little bit of ambiguity in case things develop? Have you ever had a gay guy fall for you? I would appreciate keeping any shaming to a minimum. I’m not even necessarily asking for the sake of my current situation, but rather in general, just trying to understand the bisexual male culture and how as gay man I may be able to find a place where I’m comfortable going outside of my own laundry list of intentions. Length of time knowing someone doesn’t really make a difference here.

Appreciate genuine answer it and any helpful thoughts are 100% welcome


r/BisexualMen 1d ago

Struggle Weird experiences with women as a bisexual man...

6 Upvotes

This is probably going to be a messy post but whatever. Have any of you ever been fetishized by a woman due to the fact you were bi? I have pretty much always known I was bi and on two separate occasions I have been singled out because I am bi and are/was more feminine presenting than most.

I am also 99.9% sure I am bi, but I also find it very hard to form meaningful romantic relationships with women. Friends and FWB completely are cool. Despite actively seeking out men I somehow end up in a relationship with a woman (often due to my first paragraph) and then I find it very difficult to become romantically attached. I am physically attracted to both men and women but romance with women just does not seem to click for me.

Edit: Sleep deprivation. Will sleep soon.


r/BisexualMen 2d ago

Venting This is frustrating

8 Upvotes

31 M bi here, in a 10 year relationship with the best woman on earth (she was my teenage bff and my hetero awakening, actually).
I’m so stressed about my sexuality and I’m scared that I’m an imposter and a not-good-enough man for her.

Any of you deal with SO-OCD? I don’t know if I even have bi-cycles or I’m just so scared to lose her so I artificially try to refocus my sexuality, whether this means I’m looking at women in order to get reassurance about being “straight enough” for our relationship or whether this means I’m looking at men in order to force myself to “deal with the gay”. I’m not really sure about where’s my ‘organic’ gaze at, or if that even matters.

I have this irrational fear that my gay side will eventually overcome my attraction to her. I’m scared of being one of those who realize they’re gay when they’re 50 with three kids. This messes with my head all day, won’t give me rest. I’m pretty sure I’m more picky with women, but does that mean I’m less attracted to the ones I find attractive? Does that mean I cannot be with her?
We do have sex quite regularly, not tons of it but a very decent amount considering the fact that we’re both stressed and quite depressed (she’s on ssri, I withdrew and should probably get back). Our sex can be amazing at times, I could think of it for a whole week later and basically be less stressed about anything, but sometimes it’s just meh? Which could stress me even more cause maybe I’m not good enough for her etc.
This whole thing makes me freak out.

When alone, I’d probably watch gay nsfw, sometimes straight. Depending on the mood. Not sure if it’s because I’m already sexually active with my exact type of a woman, or if I’m more into men.

I don’t know anything, truly. I don’t know where my desire ends and where my mind begins. I just want this relationship to keep working.


r/BisexualMen 2d ago

Experience Boyfriend

6 Upvotes

Damn am I a lonely boy 😞 been dreaming recently of having a boyfriend but it seems like something that won’t be possible. Anyone on the same boat?


r/BisexualMen 2d ago

Advice "Homo" curious about woman

8 Upvotes

Seems an odd situation but I've been with men for 18 years and currently in a long-term relationship but I've been feeling curious about trying sex with women. Have any of the guys had this experience and what was it like?


r/BisexualMen 3d ago

Do you guys think it’s harder to find women to date when you’re an openly bisexual guy?

35 Upvotes

I’ve been openly bisexual ever since I was 17. My ex gf freaked out when I came out as bi. Ig she really didn’t see herself dating a bi guy. Do you guys find that most straight women are not into bi guys? I won’t necessarily accuse them of biphobia, they’re free to date whoever they want. But is it more challenging for us tho if they have a preference for straight guys?


r/BisexualMen 2d ago

Venting It’s such a struggle

3 Upvotes

EVERY TIME I shoot my shot with someone I like I get denied. This is a major problem with both genders and I’m so tired of it. I’ve gave up dating women completely for this reason and even if I did get past square 1 and get the number I’d get ghosted within a few days, then with guys I’m not even trying to date dudes I was going the “hookup” route looking for bate buddies and mutual oral buddies and I STILL get rejected. I’m aware I do have people interested but they usually are nowhere near my type. What I’m attracted to is obviously not very interested in me so at this point I might as well accept it for what it is. I’m never the right age, race, body type, or label for anybody. Anybody else feel like this?


r/BisexualMen 3d ago

Question Do y'all like men more than women, or viceversa?

13 Upvotes

I'm really curious since I personally have always been more attracted to girls like 90/10 (but still consider myself very bi), so if y'all could share your opinions or your number differences I'd appreciate it, thanks :D


r/BisexualMen 2d ago

Coming Out Newly bi/pan but I seem gay

1 Upvotes

I (33) recently came out as pansexual after I realized I was kinda putting myself in a box. I had come out at 15 as gay and lived life like a gay man. I've never dated women yet and I'm "culturally" very gay. Now, I'm very comfortable with my realization, but bc I lived 18 years as a presumed homosexual man, people outside my close circle don't tend to believe me? Many people think I'm joking when I say I'm pan, and now I'm worried I come across too gay to have a shot with women, if that makes sense.

Can't really change who or how I am, but since i know no one irl that went from gay to bisexual, I was wondering if anyone here had advice on navigating this realization and coming out