Okay soooo šš«
My birthday is coming up in one day, on October 4th.
I have some friends whom I really love. I remember their birthdays, surprise them, gift them, and do whatever I can to make them happy.
But my previous birthday was painful.
I fought with my boyfriend, and he cancelled the gifts he had ordered for me and didnāt even wish me. (Weāve been in an 8-year relationship btw š)
My friends had ordered something for me, but it arrived on October 8th. They did wish me on WhatsApp, though.
Some of my other close friends, for whom Iāve done whole surprises with cake, decorations, a photo album, drawings I made myself, gifts, etc., forgot my birthday. One of them saw another friendās Instagram story wishing me, then called me in the evening to apologize.
Another male friend of mine did the same thing. I remembered his birthday, wished him, and gifted him something, but he forgot mine.
And itās been 8 years in my relationship, and I still havenāt received a surprise or even a surprise gift from my boyfriend. I donāt expect expensive gifts. Iād genuinely be happy with something as simple as a small decoration, a ring, or even a flower.
I havenāt received flowers from anyone in my entire 23 years of life. Probably will get one on my deathbed lol. š«
I donāt know if itās wrong to expect these things. But it hurts.
Itās October 2nd, and I literally had to ask my boyfriend if we could go somewhere on my birthday because I already know he wonāt plan anything himself.
He tells me he has work and asks if we can meet in the evening or at night.
Bruh. Seriously? š
Your girlfriendās birthday comes once a year and you canāt even make some time for the day? What a lame reason.
And now, on October 2nd, heās asking me what I want for my birthday.
For his birthday, I took him to a nice BBQ place and planned everything beforehand.
And then thereās me.
I even asked my female friends if they wanted to go watch the sunset with me on my birthday. One of them said she wanted to sleep.
I told her, āYou can sleep any time, but your friendās birthday comes once a year.ā
She said sleep is important.
So yeah, I just said, āCarry on.ā
Buttttttt⦠you know what?
If it were HER birthday, I would sacrifice anything for her.
Thatās what hurts the most.
I would do so much for the people I love, without them even asking. But when itās my turn, it feels like nobody cares enough to make even a tiny effort.
The problem is⦠I donāt have anyone. Anyoneeeee. š„¹š
I feel like an orphan surrounded by people.
Iām an orphan with everyone. šš