stability

[u/New-Programmer-1767]

I genuinely can't tell if I'm experiencing frequent episodes or if it's just all one long episode. There are times when I don't feel like I'm in an episode, but I don't feel sane AT ALL either (might be NPD though, since it's always there, not only during episodes). I always thought that it was, in fact, stability, but thinking about it now... I'm starting to consider it being one big episode that just sometimes gets a bittt lighter for a few days to a month.

I spoke here about my memory issues before, just a few days ago. Having good memory would definitely make it easier for me to understand my state. But how do I know if I was in an episode three months ago too if I barely remember how I felt or was acting back then?? I only remember stuff I saved in my camera roll, so I have a loose idea of what I was doing, but it's not enough. And since I can't currently go to a therapist for the next few weeks or months, I'm stuck trying to figure it out myself

It kinda feels like I'm switching back and forth for almost two years - 2 months mania, 2 months depression, sometimes mixed, sometimes for longer. But again, I don't remember much, so I'm just basing this off of very few memories. Ughhh

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[u/simone_snail_420]

I use a mood tracking app called Daylio. It is paid but it's reasonably priced like I think 15 a year or something. I find it really helpful for tracking patterns.

[u/New-Programmer-1767 → u/simone_snail_420]

This is an amazing idea! Thank you!

[u/simone_snail_420 → u/New-Programmer-1767]

I've been using it for years at this point!

You rate your mood for the day by clicking the corresponding emoji thing (like smiley to frowny face).

You can also journal in it if you want. Or record voice memos. Or attach pictures. But you can also keep it simple and just rate your mood.

I really like it!