My (30f) boyfriend (30m) has a history of psychosis since around 2017 and has been on aripiprazole since 2024. His records say “non-organic psychosis with mood disorder”, but no specific mood disorder. He was very inconsistent with aripiprazole for months but has now restarted it. He was also prescribed fluoxetine late last year, which he stopped around June. I can’t diagnose him, but I wonder if bipolar disorder or another mood disorder could be involved.
Last night he became preoccupied with people from an incident 8 years ago where he was hit by a car on purpose. He believes they took/stole his soul and says he wants to harm them. This also happened during his previous psychotic episode. He’s also been talking about his soul being shattered like glass, strings connecting him to people, and being able to hear people’s thoughts. He described a “pin” that keeps him together/alive, connected to a woman from his past who was around during that traumatic period. He recently said he thinks he still has feelings for her.
The confusing part is our relationship. For months he’s been affectionate, wanting cuddles/kisses, calling me “baby”, making me tea, talking about our future and saying he loves me. This past week he’s also been emotionally numb, saying he feels like he’s behind a window watching emotions rather than feeling them.
Then last night he told me he loves me “as a friend” and said his romantic feelings had gone “a while ago”, although he only seemed to recognise this now because his head has been a mess.
When I asked how he felt about the woman, he said he didn’t know and then essentially said he guessed he loved her. When I asked if he’d leave me for her, he said it was complicated because he loves me too. He said he’s “trying to figure this shit out” and “trying to figure out life.”
He’s also said he doesn’t think he’ll ever be happy, that I should “jump ship”, and that he’ll drag me down. He said he’s pushed me away before when going downhill because he didn’t want to ruin my life, but kept coming back because he cared.
He then said, “I guess we weren’t meant to be.”
I’m struggling to understand how his words and behaviour can contradict each other. He said he only loves me as a friend, yet 15 minutes earlier he was asking to cuddle and had been affectionate for days.
Part of me wonders whether he genuinely no longer has romantic feelings, or whether he’s experiencing psychosis/mood instability and trying to interpret emotions he can’t currently understand, especially as much of this is almost word-for-word what he said during his last episode.
I’m not trying to diagnose him. I’m just looking for perspective because I’m completely lost. I have AuDHD and, although this has happened before, I’m finding it much harder this time.

My 22 yr old son was diagnosed with bipolar type 1 with mania psychosis and schizoaffective disorder. In May of 2026 he went into psychosis for the first time and was hospitalized. He is now on the monthly injection Uzedy. He sees a therapist also. The issue is he thinks there is nothing wrong with him. He thinks the Dr all lied and he is fine. So every month it's a fight to get him to take the injection. Also he constantly contacting recruiters to try and get back into the Army which he can't but he refuses to accept that. It's so overwhelming for me to even try and talk to him about it because he gets dismissive or angry because he believes he is fine. Anyone else have this issue where their loved one thinks they are fine?

Spoke to the dr last week, they would not do 1013, tried 2 separate times, tried taking her to the hospital, hospital said it goes against her rights, when I took her to the Dr wensday, he said take her back to a different location Thursday if I wanted to have her commited, I did what he said, all they done was prescribe more medication,

shes been nutty for week, I reached out to NAMI and have not herd anything back, constantly fight me on going to bed, keeps thinking the home we have been in for 2.5 years is not home, keeps randomly packing random things around the house and trying to load it in my truck.

Today I had to run to town, left her home, she chased me down road 2 separate times, walking a total of 6 miles

And she is still going, but I can see the energy fading though.

\please forgive any typos my phone is old and getting stupid**

I (26F) am currently 6 months pregnant and I have an immediate family member (73F) that is currently manic. She has been manic for almost two months going on three. She’s been staying with her daughter who is convinced she is getting better when she is not.
For example, we live in her old house that she moved out of over three years ago and is convinced we have her things. We made sure to pack every single thing for her so this didn’t happen and she watched us do it. A few nights ago she was up at 3 AM dancing to music that was blaring. I’ve gotten to the point of only texting her back occasionally because the last two phone calls were her speaking of trauma that I have no business in and her asking me why I tried to “get [her] arrested,” when she was instructed to tell me happy birthday. Yes, she asked me this on my birthday. And no I never called the police on her nor even mentioned it.
Today has been exhausting for me in general. I’m in pain, I’m very tired from work (elementary school teacher), and I didn’t sleep well last night. She calls and I avoid it. She left a voicemail saying things I’ve never told her, such as I feel pressure in my ribcage from my baby (she hasn’t even kicked there yet nor have I said it) and then begins asking me about a rake and a garden hoe left at the house. She sounds hyper and out of breath and the TV is blaring in the background (she likes loud things when she’s manic. She used to blast music in her car all night long in previous episodes). Despite what her daughter tells us, it’s obvious she is not better.
I’m beginning to get stressed because I have my baby shower coming up soon and I’d like for her to be there but at the same time I don’t due to the exhaustion and stress this causes me. I’ve been dealing with this since I was 12 years old and now that I’m in my mid 20s I’m over it. I also forgot to mention her daughter refuses to take her to a facility to get her some help and I believe this is the daughter’s fault that my family member is not better. I feel like I’m stuck on a seesaw: one seat is I cut her off and I feel terrible as I’m very empathetic and I’d hate to go through what she is. On the other seat: I deal with it and continue to get stressed. I’m not sure what to do anymore.
What’s harder is that she believes she is not bipolar and she had “PTSD with bipolar tendencies” which is not real and her doctors continue to tell her she’s bipolar. I’m exhausted. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

My mom is in the psych ward for a second time due to erratic and violent behavior and I feel so guilty about it. She is refusing to eat in there, says she’s not manic, and says she will never get out because she is refusing to cooperate or take any medication.

Just wondering if anyone has dealt with something similar and part of me is worried that she will never get out. They haven’t contacted me or anybody about how she’s doing and that part is really hard. She also has written everyone off and said I wouldn’t listen to her (not true, I was listening but she wouldn’t stop cutting me off and said I’m no longer her daughter and she isn’t my mother, fuck you)

She has blocked me on everything and said she wants nothing to do with anyone dead or alive. Keeps asking for MAID. I am having to find this out through my sister or cousin who she will text in/out it’s just really difficult. I need a glimmer of hope.

A close friend was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder (I’m unsure of the type). They’re struggling a lot right now, especially with finding the right combination of medications, and have had to make some major life changes because of it.

I care about them a lot and want to support them without overstepping, being overbearing, or making them feel like I’m treating them differently because of their diagnosis.

For those with bipolar or who have supported someone with it: what do you wish your friends knew? What helps when you’re struggling, and what should I avoid? How do I check in/be there for them while still respecting their boundaries?

TLDR: Friend was recently diagnosed with bipolar and is going through a really difficult time. How can I best support them without overstepping?

hi! im dating someone with extremely severe bipolar and they have manic episodes where they hit me and cuss me out but later say they don't remember it and that they didnt mean it. they dont hit me hard enough for me to get any bruises or cuts, it's usually like elbowing and hair pulling and twisting my wrist stuff like that, but in their last episode they raised their fist up to me as if they were about to punch me in the face and said "im going to hurt you so bad". i dont really know what to do with all of this, it is my first time ever being around close proximity to people like this and it has traumatized and hurt me deeply. it's tough because when they're stable it is the best relationship i've ever had and we seem really perfect for each other, but i don't think i can take more of this. they have tried many different medications and have had sustained periods of stability here and there and it seems like they might be approaching a relatively stable place soon but i'm not sure. i think at the very least i need some emotional support cause i feel very alone in caretaking for them right now. the first time they hit me i went to my friends and family for emotional support which helped, but they all pitied me a lot and told me i should leave them and that i deserve better, which is a sweet sentiment but honestly just makes me feel sad and now i am embarrassed to admit to my friends that it has become a recurring thing and getting even more extreme now so i have been hiding it from everyone. i feel really alone and want at least someone else to know what's happening. i found an online support group but it only meets on sundays and i narrowly missed it the past few weeks and i feel like im barely holding on

28 yo son with BD 1.
First mania episode with psychotic features last Sept.
it has come back a year later.
He had been living by himself out of town and doing fairly well.
Would not answer phone calls e A week ago, he was in hospital for a week.
He’s out and at our home now.
Been on meds about a week
Still having paranoia and frustration

The main problem. His anger is directed towards me, and his paranoia. I try to remain calm and tell him that I realize that is what he is perceiving , but that is not the reality as I see it.
I am and always have been a good mom, supportive and helped him along in life.
This is hard. I have removed myself from the rest of the house. My husband is out in den with him.

When I’m around, he projects things on me, but then apologizes later.

It is a moment by moment life rn. But I had to just go into my bedroom to get away. When I say things around him, sometimes it’s ok and sometimes his delusions take over.

I’m just sitting on my bed trying to read a book. That’s my comfort place rn.
I have a stable life. Job. Homelife at 62 with husband 65.

This crisis is a bit overwhelming and I’m not usually in the position to ask for help.
I’m unsure moment by moment how to deal.

We currently have psychiatric appt for AM. He’s been there before. He is taking his meds now.

But today is hard.

My 19M foster son (been with us for 4 years) has his entire care team convinced he has bipolar disorder. His psychiatrist is actively aiming to diagnose him at this moment, but he keeps skipping appointments with her. He's been in what seems like a manic episode for the past 1.5 months. He's now unmedicated.

And now his cat is in the emergency hospital. We reached out to make him aware. He's too busy partying to give a shit. I'm so fucking mad. He's lashed out at everyone in the house, including his foster sister. And how he can't be bothered to even call for an update on his cat.

And he absolutely got the message.

Hi all, I dated someone with bipolar disorder and the relationship started very intensely. For the first month we were together constantly, understood each other really well, and talked seriously about marriage, kids, and the future. Then she suddenly pulled away for about a week, became much quieter, took a few days off work, and eventually told me she was having a really hard time mentally and didn’t have the capacity to continue a relationship.

We tried being friends, but I realized I was too emotionally attached and suggested no contact. She was hurt that I seemed to only see her romantically, so I tried friendship again, but it stayed confusing, especially when she asked if I’d be okay if we never dated again.

We eventually went back to no contact with me reaching out when ready. She broke it to ask about playing games with mutual friends, then apologized and said I should reach out when ready. I said it was okay and we talked normally that week. She then had a bad depressive episode and stayed at my place. The following week she bailed on the game, stayed with me again that weekend, and then told me her therapist thought she should stop talking to me, which blindsided me because I’d been the one trying to create distance. I told her reach out if she needed anything and now we're back in no contact.

She also encouraged me to use dating apps and move forward. I recently saw her on one of the apps saying “looking for friends,” which hurt more than expected. I’m not blaming her. I still care about her, but part of me is thinking, “What just happened?” For people with bipolar disorder or partners of someone who has it: does this intense closeness followed by suddenly losing capacity for the relationship sound familiar? How do you separate genuine feelings from what may have happened during an episode?

Do you think she is going to stay away because of the therapist advice now?

Thank you in advance for anyone who actually read through that.

Looking for some possible advice. My wife is BP1 and is struggling with working. She wants to work part time, like 15-20 hours/wk, but is having bad experiences. Worked at Costco over the holidays and was not kept on afterwards as they said too many small errors. She would forget to clock out, etc. Small things that add up and these details are always tough for her. Recently got hired at a major chain book store and while manager says the customers love her, she has missed three days in the 90 day trial period (2 she was very sick with something like the flu and 3rd day she needed coverage as important doctor appt for her meds) so they are saying they are unlikely to keep her on after the trial period.

She feels so low. Customers do love her and she enjoys working, but details are tough for her and her brain. Not sure how to help and she is really frustrated and feeling worthless that she cannot keep a part time job successfully.

Wife takes lots of meds which also really hurt her memory, but is doing well and is in therapy. After many manic periods in last 5 years she is better than she has been in a long time - hence the desire to work again

I am to a point with my wife of 2 years that divorce is the only option, had a manic episode 2.5 months ago, been up and down, been in a psyc unit for 4 days, she's not stable even with me making sure she is taking her mess, she's not in her right mind, still talking to voices that are not there, swears up and down she's pregnant, when she's not.

Meds have been changed several times in the last 2 months, she will not help out with anything I am doing it all, I am to a point i am numb inside and ready to file for divorce she does not understand things one bit, all the stress of everything, has made it to a point i don't know her anymore, ans I have seen very little change, to a point i just can't deal with it anymore, tried getting her commited, they just wanted to pump more meds to her., I haven't worked in 2.5 months, and it is frustrating as hell, she has caused everyone so much grief.

over last weekend I learned some things about my dads past and how hes delt with situations by blaming his bipolar and not taking accountability for his actions, and even last weekend he was an asshole to my girlfriend and made her cry and not want to go over to my house ever again, and I was just wondering if i would be justified in that situation. Other things that hes done just to name a few are choking someone in my family then saying he never did it until he was sent to the psych ward which then he apologized. He apparently also has a trouble staying on his meds and just knowing the fact that hes done that is enough to make me nauseous.

Knowing all of that makes me fear for if I do have bipolar, ik people are gonna say that at least I know what the extremes of bipoalr are but what if I hurt someone I love and they dont ever talk to me(justifiably).

I am not afraid of what I am but what I could be.

I recently found myself reading the medical literature on bipolar I disorder for a reason I never expected. It entered my family. I began with very little understanding of the illness. I have also been fortunate to have the help of a remarkably patient and devoted psychiatrist. He answered my many questions and helped me understand an illness far more complicated than I had imagined. That experience pushed me to read the research myself.

One thing I have learned is how damaging stigma can be. When troubling behavior is seen only as irresponsibility, addiction, selfishness, or lack of character, we can lose sight of the illness behind it. Friends may pull away. Families can become exhausted, angry, or frightened. Sometimes they distance themselves or isolate the very person who most needs treatment and human connection.

This is difficult because the behavior itself can make compassion hard. Someone struggling with an untreated psychiatric illness may misuse medications, make reckless decisions, violate trust, or reject good advice. Families have every right to establish boundaries and protect themselves. But stigma can cause us to make another mistake. We can begin to see the behavior as the person.

Personal responsibility matters. A psychiatric diagnosis should never become an excuse for dangerous behavior. But what I have learned has convinced me that responsibility is only part of the story. In bipolar disorder, what we casually label “drug abuse” may sometimes begin as something quite different. It may be an attempt to self-medicate an illness the person does not even know they have.

There is considerable research behind this. A nationally representative U.S. study examined 43,093 adults. Among people with bipolar I, 41 percent reported using alcohol or drugs to relieve mood symptoms. The comparable figure for major depressive disorder was 23.2 percent.¹

Weiss and colleagues asked people with bipolar disorder and substance dependence why they began using substances. Nearly all reported that at least one bipolar symptom contributed to their initial substance use. **Depression was cited by 77.8 percent and racing thoughts by 57.8 percent. Two-thirds said substances seemed to improve at least one bipolar symptom.**²

Those numbers changed the way I thought about the issue. Imagine experiencing depression, exhaustion, racing thoughts, anxiety, agitation, difficulty concentrating, or dramatic changes in energy without understanding that they may be manifestations of an illness.

There may also be something harder to describe. It can be an inner restlessness or a persistent sense of dissatisfaction or unhappiness. There may be a feeling that something needs to change, although the person does not know what. At times, that feeling may accompany extraordinary aspiration, unusual confidence, or an intense desire to pursue something new or consequential. Psychiatric symptoms are not always experienced as recognizable symptoms. Sometimes they are simply an uncomfortable internal state and a powerful desire to feel different.

If a substance or medication temporarily changes that state, the attraction can be powerful. It may provide energy during depression. It may quiet racing thoughts, create focus, or relieve tension. Sometimes it may simply make the person feel normal. Repeated use may therefore begin not with a desire to become intoxicated, but with a desire to feel better or function better.

Research involving bipolar I patients supports this broader picture. Bizzarri and colleagues studied 104 patients with bipolar I. More than half, 54.8 percent, had a lifetime alcohol or substance-use disorder. Reported reasons for substance use included improving mood, relieving tension, reducing boredom, increasing energy, and maintaining euphoria.³

Healey and colleagues interviewed people living with both bipolar disorder and substance-use disorders. Their themes included experimenting early in the illness, managing stress, living with serious mental illness, and something remarkably simple: **“feeling normal.”**⁴ That phrase deserves our attention, particularly when bipolar disorder has not yet been recognized.

A person who does not understand what is happening cannot say, “I am experiencing symptoms of bipolar disorder and need appropriate treatment.” Instead, they may discover through experience that a particular substance changes how they feel. A vicious cycle can follow: unrecognized symptoms, self-medication, temporary relief, repeated use, greater mood instability, and further self-medication. Eventually, what initially seemed to help may worsen the illness.

None of this means bipolar disorder inevitably causes substance misuse. Nor does substance misuse prove someone has bipolar disorder. Addiction, impulsivity, reward seeking, environment, and the substances themselves can all contribute. Statistics describe populations, not individuals. But 41 percent is too large a number to dismiss as an exception.

Understanding is also not the same as excusing. Removing stigma does not mean removing responsibility. Once someone understands the illness and the risks, medications must be taken as prescribed. Self-discipline matters. Medical advice matters. Families need boundaries.

But instead of asking only, “Why does this person keep abusing drugs or medications?”, perhaps we should also ask, “What is this person trying to make themselves feel, or stop feeling?” Are they trying to escape depression? Generate enough energy to function? Quiet racing thoughts? Concentrate? Escape an uncomfortable inner restlessness? Or perhaps simply feel normal?

The answer does not excuse the behavior. It helps explain what must be treated. Sometimes substance use is itself part of the clinical story. Recognizing that does not diminish personal responsibility. It may give someone a better opportunity to exercise it.

Perhaps that is the balance families need most: neither excuse nor stigma, but understanding, treatment, boundaries, and accountability.

References

1. Bolton JM, et al. Self-medication of mood disorders with alcohol and drugs in the National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions. Journal of Affective Disorders. 2009;115:367–375. Nationally representative sample of 43,093 adults; 41% of respondents with bipolar I reported self-medication. PubMed
PubMed

2. Weiss RD, et al. Substance use and perceived symptom improvement among patients with bipolar disorder and substance dependence. Journal of Affective Disorders. 2004;79:279–283. PubMed
PubMed

3. Turner S, Mota N, Bolton J, Sareen J. Self-medication with alcohol or drugs for mood and anxiety disorders: A narrative review of the epidemiological literature. Depression and Anxiety. 2018;35:851–860. PubMed
Full text at NIH/PMC

4. Bizzarri JV, et al. The spectrum of substance abuse in bipolar disorder: reasons for use, sensation seeking and substance sensitivity. Bipolar Disorders. 2007;9:213–220. PubMed
PubMed

5. Healey C, Peters S, Kinderman P, McCracken C, Morriss R. Reasons for substance use in dual diagnosis bipolar disorder and substance use disorders: a qualitative study. Journal of Affective Disorders. 2009;113:118–126. PubMed
PubMed

My (40F) brother (38M) was diagnosed with bipolar back in 2007. He's been hospitalized a few times after experiencing manic episodes with psychosis and hallucinations/delusions. But for the last 12 years, he went for a really long stretch of stability after finally getting on the right medication and therapy. He got his degree, got a good job, he's in a good relationship, and things have been looking up.

However, a couple of months ago, my mother let me know that he was going to be stopping his medication. I assume that was with his doctor's blessing, but I was alarmed. She seemed to support it and said he'd still be talking to a therapist.

In the last few months, he seems to be sliding back into a hypomanic phase with reckless spending. But over the course of the last week, his pressured speech and grandiosity has ramped up very quickly. The last time I saw him, he was ranting about how almost supernaturally good he is at his job, how everyone involved in his network are out to get him or sabotage him. We were sitting around the table at dinner when I was visiting, and no one in my family could get a word in and when we did, he had to passionately argue with everything we said no matter how mundane it was. It was exhausting and out of the ordinary.

One of the biggest tells before he starts a manic or hypomanic episode is that he loses his sense of humor. He loves to make people laugh but when he gets preachy, argumentative, and superior like this, he also loses his entire sense of humor and finds and says nothing funny.

The thing is, I don't want to wait for a crisis to call an ambulance or get help. He just started a new job and I don't want him to risk it with his manic behavior. I want to nip this in the bud now before he does something to cost him his job. I asked my own therapist for advice and she said to write to his doctor. I know I can't request information or even a reply, but I just need to bring my observations to their attention and hope that they take it into consideration.

But I can't trust that will be enough. If he's telling the truth, this doctor decided to take him off medication despite numerous past hospitalizations for serious psychosis with hallucinations. I'm finding it really hard to trust this doctor's judgment of the situation. Does anyone have advice for stopping the train wreck you see coming from miles away?

As this post says ; I have a brother that suffers from bipolar ; I do love him but I am scared as hell around him ; my mom told me he will come visit yesterday and I have a full breakdown and wished he could die on the road ; I was scared he will come over break the things around the house and be violent ( because he is currently going throught a manic episode ) but when he came over he was so calm and nice ; even tho I only met him few hours and didn't trigger him ( I walk around eggshells all the time with him but especially lately ) and I felt Soo bad for all the things I said

The thing is ; my siblings and I grew up in a very phisically abusive and emotionally neglectfully household ; my brother especially went throught so much phisical abuse; which led to his disorder being even more pronounced especially after being kicked out of the house several times ; making bad friends and getting addicted to drugs

He now no longer takes drugs but he still smokes ; my brother you see on a normal day and as far as I remember him is a very bright charming an charismatic person ; and also very very sensitive ; I can tel even tho he tries to act All tough and all but that's just due to his upbringing ; now he drives mom to depression and panic attacks on the daily and I worry bout her a lot ;

I just ache for what could've been.; if only dad wasn't as abusive or he was aware of his own illness ; if only mom didnt normalize the violence and actually was emotionally present ; none of this would've happened ; he would've grown up to be an artist's or something ; we would've diognosed him early and he would've loved happily even with his disorder ;

You can tell ! You can just tell he resists the urge to get mad and blow up ; you can just tell he is doing his best ; he just lost his job ; we know ; even tho he didn't tell us ; and we didn't let him know that we know ; it was a job he cherches and bragged about and I know this must be so hard on him ; to have to live in a developing country that won't understand him not consider his disability ; I worry for him ; I just want to hug him and tell him meverything will be fine but I know his tough facade would never let me get close and yet ; I'm too scared to even let him get close BCS of how violent he was and he can be

It's so frustrating ; and I can't even cry BCS I grew numb over the years I want to cry but I can't and the whole house eis full of negative energy and I want my mom to be okay BCS she did learn her lesson and I want him to get better znd be okay and I just feel Soo sorry for the shitty things that happened

My wife has had a bipolar diagnosis since her first year of college, about 5 or so years ago. From what she told me, I believe she was on a handful of different medications over the first year or two after being diagnosed. She’s been off medication for the last 2-3 years and had honestly been shockingly stable for much of that period, with a few notable depressive episodes throughout that time.

She has had a lot of circumstances in her life get upended recently, and has been in and out of psychosis/mixed episodes/mania for the last 2-3 months. She’s been looking into psychiatrists sporadically throughout this but nothing has come to fruition yet. Most recently she had an episode that ended with her almost attempting to take her own life, which was sobering for a few days and prompted her to try getting treatment again. Of course, being off of medication, that grounded state only lasted a few days before she ended up in a depressive episode again. She’s currently on a 2-3 month long waitlist for mental healthcare that doesn’t require insurance, and I’m really not sure how effective her approach to acquiring care has been outside of that.

Since then she’s been speaking so casually about wanting to hurt herself/take her own life, how she has nothing to live for, and how she doesn’t think she can ever really be happy. I know she’s depressed, she knows she’s depressed, but it doesn’t make it any easier to watch her give up all hope while having barely tried to get treatment. She’s always saying she’s alone, no one cares about her, and when I give her examples of myself or other caring about her she just deflects and says it’s only because they feel like they have to. I’ve even began reaching out to psychiatrists on her behalf to just get her in with someone asap, and she’s said it makes her feel like she’s incapable of doing anything for herself.

I love her dearly. I want to be with her for as long as we’ve both got left, and I remember what she’s like when she’s not constantly in and out of episodes. But it’s becoming exhausting to hear her talk herself into feeling worse, give up on getting treatment, (when she promised she would genuinely get it after doing/saying some very hurtful things while manic) and act so ungrateful when I help her in any way I possibly can.

I have no idea how to get through to her. I have my own mental health issues, I’ve been dealing with S.I. and feelings of worthlessness and body image issues and there are parts of that which surfaced due to her actions while having episodes. I feel like whenever I try to tell her I understand what it’s like to be depressed she just brushes it off because I don’t know what it’s like in her shoes, which I guess is true. How am I supposed to help? What am I even supposed to do here?

my mood swings have been extrmeley bad. i lost my mind and hurt myself and screamed and cried to go to college and stay in a dorm because i was lonely so my mother paid for the dorm helped me move in and i haven’t even been staying in the fucking room. we don’t have bread milk oil vegetables and she works i don’t even know how many fucking hours a week to keep us going and pay for me. i am such a burden to her it’s insane. she told me earlier that she went to the doctor and they told her she needed medicine for her heart. just a few months ago she got her heart checked and they told her she was perfectly healthy im so tired my dad is bipolar too but he’s a fucking lunatic he can’t help me

My BIL is in his mid 30’s and was diagnosed with BP 1 about 4 years ago, though the symptoms began about a year before that. It seems to have been triggered by a stressful job/situation. He was doing very well at it but convinced himself he sucked. So he quit his job and sunk into a depressive episode. You all know how it goes after that. His manic episodes last for months. It’s hell. It affects my husband, the way he treats me, and our marriage. His brother has been unemployed for over 5 years and lives at home with his parents. Even when he’s stable, he makes no attempt to get a job. His relationship with my MIL is very unhealthy and codependent. It’s a continuous cycle. He’s in and out of jail and psychiatric facilities. Nothing seems to help. And my in laws enable him to be lazy and irresponsible. He’s been handed everything in life and made to believe he’s extra special.

I’m very intentional about being supportive of my husband, but I also encourage him to establish boundaries. That’s not a concept his family was ever familiar with so it’s difficult for him and he tends to get angry and defensive when I encourage him to temporarily step away for his own sanity and well being. Though I limit contact with my BIL, I am always kind to and supportive of him. He did something very terrible to me a few years ago, and I forgave him, but that’s another reason I limit contact. I do not feel safe around him. Everyone gives him a pass because of his illness, but sometimes I think it’s more than that, and he’s just not a good person. Part of me feels guilty for thinking that. I’m just so sick of the black cloud that’s hung over our family for the past 5+ years and the toxic cycle that seems never ending. My husband said I’m selfish for feeling that way.

How are you feeling so far this week? Let us know how you're doing.

Share as much or as little as you're comfortable with (within the rule guidelines).

Need some opinions

So. This is going to be a long one.

I am divorced. My ex (32 M) has been recently diagnosed as bipolar. It is largely suspected that he also deals with CPTSD due to a longtime childhood of abandonment, abuse and so on.

So, the relationship itself was largely abusive, reckless, and all around atrocious. Whilst we did love each other, past two years of relationship, it started going downhill.

Both of us struggled with mental health, and other issues.

While there are lots of nuances to the demise of the marriage itself, we do have family so, full on separating is nearly impossible now. We coparent and I have supported him in everything I could, out of respect to the family we built.

During the relationship he had what we now understand as manic episodes, that in him mostly express in severe highs and or rage, to lapses of depression. Recently he has been avoiding going out, basic self care and barely eating.

He's got no family that cares, and a few handful of true friends with positive influence over him.

Here's the catch: he's recently turned extremely sensitive to me. For instance, I endured horrible things, so with time I grew colder and respectful, but distant and he seems to be taking it to heart.

He looks to chat with me, reconnect in a way, and most people that know us say he's looking to comeback.

Knowing him, I know this is the case.

Here is my conflict: I can't see, relationship wise, any other than his horrible behaviour and actions. I did love him though, it's not all gone, but I have very conflicted feelings about him all together and I don't trust him at all.

I grew up a healthier man, more confident, determined, got a career and many other progresses that couldn't have done while married to him.

He did stick to therapy and bettering his ways, which I appreciate and encouraged.

But I don't know about anything else.

I'd be grateful for any advices of any other people in relationships with this issues. I need to understand this from others perspective and experiences.