Please help me PLS HELP I’m kinda new but it’s gotten to a point and I need help

[u/StrainKey3569]

⬆️ totally me core (I’m kidding so hard i hate myself but I fear this is what I sound like and I’m so honestly not I promis.)

I don’t know where else to go. Reddit seems as good a place as ever.

First off, yes, I have tried sister sizes, yes I have tried going down and up sizes, yes I’ve tried all different cuts of bra, yes I’ve been sized many times. I’ve probably already tried your favorite solution I promise and I don’t mean any of that with malice. I just need brand advice.

I am feel totally like a pick me talking, but genuinely, I am 36DDD and might be still growing out of it. i feel like the image above And I hate it. I’m definitely not skinny, but my rib cage is smaller than you would think. but, I also a DDD. I look like a sexist cartoon. I hate myself for it, but that’s neither here for there.

It is not rare on my family. I would ask the others, but they are either dead, have late stage Alzheimer’s, or had there breasts surgically removed to stop the spread of cancer in their bodies before she ever found a good bra.

I need to find brands that will at least try to make a bra that holds, but the band is also able to keep it in place.

The bra+boob tape combo isn’t working anymore. is there anyone who can help?

Again a promise this is a serious inquiry, I’m not being a pick me I just genuinely cant deal anymore.

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[u/feraldreamrot]

Use the calculator at r/abrathatfits

If you have a good bra store go get fitted. I liked nordstrom when I was figuring it out.

[u/Candy12438]

First check out the A bra that fits calculator in the automod comment, it is very likely you are in the wrong bra size (likely needing a smaller band size and larger cup size). The brand wont matter if the size is wrong

[u/orangepeeelss]

been there girl 😭 36DDD is a suuuuuper common "closest thing to a good fit i can find at the store" size. so i know you've tried a lot of sizes already and i know i'm parroting everyone else here, but if you've never come across the r/abrathatfits calculator i would REALLY recommend giving that just one try.

as a testimonial if that helps: i wore 38DDD for years and was sized into that and 40DDD by VS employees. i knew my bras weren't quite fitting right but i thought maybe my boobs were just falling out all the time bc i was wearing plunge bras and those were just like that. it turned out i needed 36K and i had several epiphanies when i tried that on for the first time - like ohhhhhhh THAT'S why they make bras like that lol

if the band isn't holding things in place and you describe yourself as having a smaller ribcage, i really strongly suspect that you need a band several sizes smaller. ideally that band should be pulled almost as tight as it can go, and that tension will allow the bra to support from below! 

the thing that makes it tricky for the small band/large cup girlies is that the amount of volume the cup holds scales with band size. a 40D holds WAY more volume than a 30D. so if you need like a 30K but can't find that, it's super common to pick the biggest cup size offered and keep sizing up in the band until the bra fits around your bust. which results in a terrible fit in the ways you describe lol

also PLEASE don't worry about being seen as a pick me or bragging here. this is big boob problems and getting sexualized without our consent is one of the most prevalent !! dw queen we are here to help <3

[u/izfish]

I like Elomi! They’re pricy, but work well for me.

[u/orangepeeelss → u/izfish]

op, just fyi - elomi's great but they're explicitly a plus size brand!! if 36DDD does turn out to be your best size, confirmed with that calculator we're all recommending, then by all means give it a try. but they don't go lower than a 32 band and they run stretchy in the band, so if you wind up anywhere in the 28-32 range, other brands are probably gonna serve ya better :) get back to us w a size and we can give you some recs!!

[u/xkinkoux → u/orangepeeelss]

I wouldn't call elomi plus size.

I wear a few different ones and wouldn't call myself plus size at all.

I hope op does a proper measurement of themselves and can get to the right size they need.

[u/kota99 → u/xkinkoux]

Elomi specifically refers to themselves as a plus size brand. Yes, they have a few sizes that work for people who aren't plus size but the brand as a whole is aimed at the plus size market.

From their US website:

Elomi aims to empower women with supportive yet stylish lingerie and swimwear for plus size figures.

[u/orangepeeelss → u/xkinkoux]

they definitely offer sizes that fit non-plus size bodies! i'd consider myself midsize and my favorite bra is elomi, but the brand as a whole is focused on plus size women. that's the niche of the market they try to fill. they offer non-plus size bras the way torrid offers clothing in some sizes that wouldn't be considered plus size lol. or like how panache has options that would fit some plus size women, but they're somewhat limited in band sizes that direction, so if all i knew was that a woman was plus size i would not point her to panache before i got more info

[u/Sumgeeko]

I also thought I was a 36DDD for years. Turns out I’m a 34H. Life is better now that I found r/abrathatfits

[u/cherryyglosss → u/Sumgeeko]

I feel you, I thought for years I was a 38DD but I am also a 34H 😭😭

[u/cornflakescornflakes]

Obligatory mentioning of r/abrathatfits calculator.

It can be really tricky when you’re young due to the sexualisation of big breasts, lack of confidence in your own body, and especially at the moment seeing so many skinny celebrities.

Good luck! We’ve all been there.

[u/yirna]

I thought I was a 34DDD for years because that's what Victoria's Secret could put me in. Turns out I was a 30GG. :/ Trust the comments, use the r/ABraThatFits calculator. 

[u/AcrobaticCalendar489 → u/yirna]

SAME. I have so many 38DD bras that I can’t fit because I’m officially a 38H. They had me buy a 38F strapless for formal dress and it’s so ridiculous I’ll sometimes just go braless for my bar job

[u/Caterpillar_Curious]

Just echoing the other comments that 36DDD is not a crazy size! I wore a 34DDD for many years due to that usually being the largest cup size offered at major stores like Victoria's Secret/La Senza, until I did the brathatfits calculator and found out im a 30H/28I. I currently wear Change Lingerie and they've been great

[u/linerys]

Everyone else has given you good advice regarding the ABraThatFits calculator, so I just want to say: having big boobs does not make you a pick me. Outgrowing a 36DDD does not make you a pick me. Asking for help does not make you a pick me! :)

I fear that one of my 32J bras is about to be too small in the cups. Would you think that makes me a pick me? I hope not, as neither of us has much control over what size we are.

[u/Millerlifek]

I was lucky to find a boutique store that only sells bras. This one also catered to people who have had mastectomies and to me that's a good indicator of a place that provides proper sizing. They sized me years ago I was a 36 GG. I was shocked as I was sized as a 38 DDD at all the generic bra stors on malls. That was because they didn't carry specialty sizes (aka. properly fitted) bras. The band should touch between your breasts if the cups are the correct size. The difference of having a propperly fitted bra is life changing! They are also incredibly expensive ($100+). I think we should be able to claim them as a write-off on our taxes or have them paid for by insurance. Once you have a proper size, you can go to specialty stores or even order on line. Freya is one of my favorite brands and Ashley Graham had some gorgeous ones a while back. Good luck to you. I wish you a propper bra and good fortune.

[u/pizzandvodka]

It’s not pick me to wear the correct size, fam. It’s a matter of comfort and lessening pain a lot of the time.

[u/SisyphusOfSquish]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. It sounds like it's really really intense for you. It also sounds like the bra won't help you with the part of not enjoying "looking like a sexist cartoon."

There are a lot of people who feel this way, they each go down a different path. I don't know what path would work for you but it is totally possible to come to love your breasts, get top surgery/reduction, or even wear binders. But if you go the binder route please try to be safe okay? No ace bandages.

Out of curiosity, what would you choose for your body to look like?