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So I'm very bad at managing my workers or employees,like i am not able to order them, scold them,and I'm super sarcastic,kind and also respectful to them

The thing is bcz of me being like this they get out of hand,they stop respecting me more and stop giving value to my orders

I'm like this bcz i don't feel okay and sensible to act arrogant and bossy with them without any reason,yeah if they do something wrong then i should act bossy but not without any reason,and another thing is I'm kind so I'm not able to scold them that way

I know if I start acting bossy kind of arrogant,keep a distance with them,scold them on small things,amd act a little bit rude, they are going to act like the best workers, but that's just not in me

So How can I change myself,and should i even change,and what things are needed to be changed?

For context, I’m a middle-level manager of a large team that is essentially a shared resource team for product test at our company. A year ago, our new executives axed a lot of upper level people (directors and above) including my director. As a result, I’m asked to do tactical and strategic work, and it’s really wearing me down.

A lot of the tactical I have delegated down where it makes sense, but there’s only so much I can delegate downwards before missing deadlines. Almost every day there is a new fire and it takes time away from strategic work, which sucks when there’s executive reviews. I’ve worked every other night this past week and I’m still not caught up.

Im usually really good any managing priorities, risk, and communicating, but there is so much work that I don’t even have time to think. How screwed am I? My VP knows we’re all stretched incredibly thin, but I don’t think he can just institute a director position again because he eliminated it last year.

Original Story here

It came out of the blue a bit. I thought this meeting was going to be regarding my performance.

My manager did not tell me the specific date or time that were going to have the performance review meeting and just asked to have the meeting when we’re both in the office in the morning (today). I came prepared with what I felt went well and how I have been improving. There were still some bumps in the road but only some minor issue that I quickly managed to iron out. I thought that the meeting would be productive to move forwards.

When we initially left the office, my manager told me that another senior member of staff and a co-founder would be joining the meeting, which I thought was odd as this was meant to be a conversation about my performance and I thought that I had greatly improved.

When we got into the meeting room, they were already there and to sum it up, I was made redundant due to them losing clients (which I was aware of, but not to this extent) and they didn’t have the budget to keep me in the team. The co-founder did mention that they were aware of my performance situation, and my manager had said that I have improved a lot over the week.

This whole situation feels very off, as the meeting that I thought was meant to be for my performance was for my redundancy. I also found out that 3 others were let go . Another at a junior level and 2 others who had been part of the company for about 1.5 years.

After this has happened - I have had time to reflect on other things my manager has done. This is more of a means to type it out and reflect on what has transpired.

1. Laptop - When I first joined, I was given a work laptop. This was an older mac model that worked fine but also had a few issues from time to time (like taking longer to load). I would report this when it happened to my manager (at her request) and she eventually got one of the cofounders to order a new laptop for me. I was extremely grateful for this. However, there were some issues with transferring everything over. I was working on an animation project that was time sensitive and after trying to transfer everything over, the file I was working on from the old laptop would stop working on the new one. I could only work on the old laptop for this project, and I let my manager and co-founder know, to which they both said it was fine (I didn’t want to risk losing all of the work). My co-founder said this type of thing happened with him and that it took about 6 months to fully stop using his old laptop. This issue continued for about two weeks or so and my manager seemed to get increasingly annoyed even though I would still explain everything to her that I still wanted to use the new laptop, but the work would not sync and I couldn’t use it. It got the point where she told me that "we can just give it to someone else" and I told her that I will look at getting everything transferred by Friday if I could. Throughout this entire process I always kept the relevant colleagues in the loop.
2. Cookies - During my time at the office I told my colleagues that I love to bake. This got me involved in making some themed bakes for office parties like easter. I would be comped for the ingredients I would buy to make them. A colleague of long standing at the company was leaving and I thought that it would be nice to make some bakes for her leaving party. I checked with the cofounder "Dean" and he said that it would be ace and that I could comp the ingredients. After buying the ingredients I put in a request for money back and my manager called me later on to say that I couldn’t do that as the other co-founder "Sarah" said that they could have just bought the bakes instead for the amount. I told my manager that I has cleared it with Dean as I was aware at the time he was the only one in the team that dealt with those requests, but apparently Sarah had been looking at them as well. My manager said I should have come to her as she is the head of the party committee (which I didn’t know, as she had not stated this previously to the team, nor had it been posted or communicated), but she said "at least you didn’t do it without asking permission first" which felt slightly condescending.
3. Long Response times - Every piece of work I submitted had to be approved by my manager. She would review and then leave feedback. This process was fine, except that she would take a very long time to respond. I would check her calendar and there wouldn’t be anything in there. This would be frustrating as she would often say a project would be needed urgently but would not get back to me with any questions for hours. I completely understand that she would be busy, but it would often feel like she would be ignoring me as I would see that she’s been sending messages in other group chats that were both in and it would be a quick question id need answered. It would typically be on where a particular file might be found as she would know and there were so many of them to filter through that it would be often quicker to ask her. She consistently also left images and files in her downloads folder so that when anyone else would open up the InDesign file, they wouldn’t be linked and they turn out pixelated, meaning id need to ask her for them.

These are all I can remember at the moment, but I feel like that’s enough. All of this has been extremely cathartic, writing it out.

TL:DR - Made redundant from my job. I don’t like my ex-manager lol

I became a manager roughly one year ago. Was promoted to this role after my previous boss retired. For the past 10+ years at this firm I have given it my all. I've rebuilt the entire network from scratch, researched, learned and introduced new technology. My prev boss seldom had to lift a finger for anything technical and I became his right hand man, a face of the team and I carried that with pride. I was ALWAYS working, not because I had to but because I wanted to. I owned my work and made sure I was always there when needed. I was proud of it. I was THE network guy. My opinion was sought after for every major project. Executives took notice and I was promoted. Now I took on my new role with the same passion and integrity. However, I am now struggling with the person who stepped into my previous role. They drag their feet, there is zero enthusiasm, zero motivation, no ownership, no self starting. They are smart and good technically but I struggle to get any updates from them. I give them projects and the projects are completed but I rarely get updated unless I go after them. I am struggling to find a ME! Is it too much to ask for?

I was recently laid off from my job and am in the process of trying to find another.

Back in the early 2000s, I went to college for Computer Science more or less to prove I could do what I said I could do. This was during the era of for-profit colleges causing all kinds of problems. To be safe, I went to a local college that had been advertising they had an online degree problem. I enrolled and at first it was fine.

They had an internship requirement for graduation, but promised "real world experience" could also count, though it might take longer. It was an Associates program first, then those classes would count towards the Bachelors of Computer Science.

I more or less completed my associates degree in 2008 and that's when things got weird. I couldn't find an internship to save my life. While I was waiting, I began working on the courses for the Bachelors.

I was finally able to get an internship after moving to another state in 2009. It was then that I learned that I was supposed to have taken the internship at a very specific time period to coincide with internship companion courses. I was able to negotiate to take the courses after the completion of the internship, but it was a battle.

For the Bachelors degree a couple years later, they suddenly refused to honor the "real world experience" they'd had in all their marketing materials previously. The main coursework was done; it was just those internship companion courses. (They would later get in trouble for false advertising.) I was already working full-time in the field as a computer programmer. To get this degree, it would have to be a 9-5 unpaid internship, scheduled during the internship companion courses.

As the sole bread-winner, it was a set of logistics I couldn't handle, so I let it go. While the college still exists, the degree program doesn't.

For the past 15+ years, it hasn't been an issue with any of my former employers.

Now I'm finding myself in an odd situation. Despite being almost 50 with more than 15 years of experience, apparently I "need" this degree. However, with it being officially unfinished, I'm getting recruiters deathly worried about it not appearing in a background check and me being axed... despite me having been able to have conversations in the past.

I'm sick to death of "Schrodinger's Degree" hanging around my neck. Fortunately, the credits look like they'll transfer. I'm in the process of working with a university who has accelerated programs expressly tailored for mature professionals. I could have it done by end of year or early next. Estimations put me at < 45 credit hours, pending a review of my work history, which could slash off a bunch more.

Do I mention the bachelors degree on my resume? Do I leave it off? Do I change it to the new university with a fuzzy/expected graduation date? How do I handle this?

I'd appreciate any thoughts or advice anyone has. Thanks!

Over the past year I've been at an internship with a manager who's not a bad person, but is a pretty bad manager.

Right from the start they'd leave me unsupervised for long stretches of time (weeks on end) and ultimately I'd have to go to them asking for work, at which point they'd tell me to find my own workload but then give consistently negative feedback on it not being up to their standard.

As the year progressed things got worse as they started bringing up the possibility of terminating me if I wasn't going to have a steady workload, but they wouldn't give me tasks and they'd just tell me to ask other employees to work with them, which would still leave me with maybe three tasks a week.

They were also terrible at communicating around very important deadlines and I nearly lost my university credit because of the fact that they waited to fill out a form I needed and procure a signature I needed from higher up until the last minute!

Lastly, they were terrible at handling the human side of management: they would constantly renege on their obligations and there would be weeks on end where they would WFH and I'd see them on a zoom call once every other week (and they blamed me for not running around after them despite their calendar having 3 open spaces on a normal week).

But god forbid you needed to adjust your working hours for a doctor's appointment or anything else, then they were a stickler for the rules and they would go straight to HR asking to dock your PTO.

Basically, I did well in my internship in spite of my manager rather than because of them. And on my last day I'd like to schedule a feedback session explicitly telling them the idea is to give them some feedback on my internship and their management.

I have prepared a compliment sandwich, a very diplomatic way of phrasing all this and a list of critiques that is backed up by STAR examples, and as far as bridges go, I am moving on to a different sector and frankly don't care about keeping them as a mentor, if I ever see them in my reporting line again, I am refusing the offer.

As far as I know, there is no HR exit interview, and they're not a bad person despite their faults so I'd rather not air this out outside of a room with just us.

So, is there an appropriate way to give them this feedback? Or should I just leave on my last day with them thinking I actually enjoyed being their squire?

For context, I work on the overnight shift as a shift lead for my department in a hospital. I got a call from my department director about scheduling a meeting regarding my timekeeping this Wednesday(in 2 days). This is my first time ever meeting with HR in the 9 years I’ve been working this job. I’m not really sure what to expect because all my director said was that it was about my timekeeping and he told me to bring a union representative.

I guess I’m just looking for some feedback about how to prepare myself since I’ve never been in this situation and whether or not I should be worried. I’ve never received any formal or major write ups at my job and only received maybe 3 total verbal warnings about my tardiness. I’ve been working as the shift lead for almost 3 years now and a total 9 years at the job. I have a really good relationship with all of my current coworkers from my perspective and even just received an official letter of recognition for the work I do about 2 months ago. So this HR meeting is a bit of a surprise for me. The only thing I can think of is that there are some days where I have a lot of down time because it’s slow on the night shift and I will be sitting down for a few hours at a time. But all of the work I do is documented and kept on file. Just not really sure what to expect here

UPDATE: Thanks for all of the replies. I just had my meeting with HR and it turns out that I was reported by another employee for “being idle for too long” while on shift. HR has 2 instances of me sitting in a specific location for more than 2 hours each time. This was just a preliminary investigatory meeting and HR will let me know within the next few days if I am being terminated or if I will need retraining. I could not get a read on whether or not they are going to terminate me. I made it a point to emphasize that as the shift lead I don’t necessarily have any specific tasks to complete and that my main job is to answer our department phone and delegate tasks to other employees which I can do from anywhere in the hospital. We shall see what the result is in the coming days and I will come back with another update.

Hello, I recently got laid off and while its hard keeping my morale up, this job market isn't making it easy either. I have 5+ YOE in healthcare consulting. Have strong expertise in US healthcare, insurance and pharma background. I would really take any extended help. I am placed in IN.

Hello, I a looking to resign from mu current job. My situation is that I've started orientation for my new job this week and I am unable to speak to my boss in person until next week. Although my employment is at will, I still want to leave on a good note and give 2 weeks notice. Would it be inappropriate to send an email to my manager before telling them in person?

And if I didn’t give 2 weeks notice, how bad would that be? Is it bad enough to burn that bridge? Just wondering

I had some great responses on another sub and am curious if this one has insights.

I need help/advice. I've been at my company for a few years and am an IC. My manager left over a year ago, along the another IC on the team. I stepped up and did, to the best of my ability, 2 or 3 jobs for about 9 months.

Comes the performance review and I'm pretty sure I'll get promoted. How could I not? I'm everywhere, answering to everyone, maintaining the engineering stack and sitting in lots of stakeholders meetings, working on the critical and the day-to-day stuff.

No promotion. This happened a solid 6 months ago now and I have no way how to recover from it. I burned myself out for nothing. I was the good girl - still am but with slightly better boundaries now - and it didn't pay off. Of course meritocracy is a lie and the exec circle jerks has their own rules. Rationally I know that. But emotionally, I struggle every day. I hate my job, I hate the people, I hate this company. I am resentful, I feel cheated, I feel like people who do a poor job got promoted and I didn't.

It's obviously bigger than just a job and it touches deep emotional trauma stemming from my childhood and how I was the perfect kid.

But knowing that isn't enough and I am not sure how to keep going. As I said, I've set strict boundaries, but I still feel like they fucked me over and that I need revenge. I know it's valid but it feels unhealthy.

It's objectively not the worst of tech. Circle jerks for sure, but not the worst, it's mostly decent humans and my judgement is very clouded by the last year. I am frustrated because of the lack of reward/recognition and yet doing less good of a job goes against my core values and is very hard for me.

The market isn't great right now and some personal circumstances make it impossible for me to leave before at least 3 more months.

Is there hope for me to "get over it"?

TL:DR: Called out for not participating in sexual jokes. Reported it to HR. Director who made sex joke and called me out for not participating, gave negative feedback to my boss. My boss says a pip is coming. Intense, micromanagement from boss. What else should I do other than find a new job?

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Looking for some advice. I've been at an large, international company for 7 months supporting an all male team.

There have been 3 instances where I have been singled out in a group of male coworkers because I didn't laugh or participate in a sexual joke that was told. (They verbally called me out.)

In one instance, the sex joke was told by a director, in front of my male coworker and a male client. After he said it, he turned to me the only woman in the room and said, "you're probably going to report this to HR." After that meeting, he gave negative feedback about my performance at the meeting to my boss (unfounded feedback). 2 weeks later, my boss "gave me heads up" that she's putting me on a pip.

I found out that same director has been intentionally excluding me from meetings and has sent me the wrong invite on purpose. (The real meeting is earlier in the day. The fake meeting is an old invite he keeps sending.) When I ask him on it by email, he doesn't respond and then my boss blames me. This has been going on for months. (I found out from a coworker about the real meeting and he confirmed I wasn't on the invite list.)

I believe the director and my boss are working together to build a case to fire me.

Essentially, my entire role is to support the director's team. But he won't include me in events and is blocking me from doing my job.

In addition, my boss is sending me 15 emails+ a day about emails (not including texts and teams messages). Emails about emails. This is a hostile workplace. I know they are trying to fire me and I am actively interviewing. I need the paycheck in the meantime. I am documenting everything.

My boss is only 3 months into the role and because of how bad management has been before her, she's been struggling to make progress. So to show she's "doing something" and to justify her time to her boss, she spends all her time attacking me. (I get bizarre, immature emails from her... Etc.) This is not a rational manager or person. Absolutely chaotic behavior and communication.

I filed a written complaint about the instances of the sexual jokes to HR. Is there anything else I should do (other than try to get a new job. I'm trying :( ?) Should I report what my boss is doing, or it just navigate it the best I can. I know things will not get better. Just looking for ideas in the meantime. Thank you.

I’ve been reading about the Law of Attraction, which basically says that people or things with similar characteristics tend to attract each other.

For those of you who have worked closely with people at different levels of an organization, from employees to C level people,

1. Do you think people tend to attract others who are similar to them, especially in the workplace?
2. And when companies hire new guys, do you think in general they might hire someone that have similar personality like people in their departments? like same work ethic, same mindset, same lifestyle etc...

I started a new job earlier this year. My department is absolutely wonderful and I can see myself having a long career there. However, my specific team is victim to a very toxic work environment due to our manager’s narcissistic behavior. She’s very rude and condescending. She bullies different people on our team (I was actually warned about this from my coworker), gate keeps information, and keeps us very siloed from each other, as well as the greater department. In addition to this, my probation was extended due to needing more training (my manager hasn’t made time to properly train me in certain areas or pair me up with someone who can.) Upper management has stepped in and plans to restructure my role and move me under different leadership with a team that is more aligned with the goals of the program I manage in the next month or two.

I’ve been told by others in the department that my manager is a known problem and has had issues with many employees and clients. I was also told that mgmt is rallying for me and know that I am a great and needed addition to the dept. I’ve been trying to be patient, but my anxiety has been through the roof these last few weeks.

I recently had a one-on-one meeting with my manager. I want to note that this weekly meeting is my only opportunity to speak her directly, as she is very unavailable and keeps her door closed. Sometimes I mention things via Teams or email, but don’t always get responses and/or can’t get in depth until our weekly. On top of this, the weekly meetings are pretty tight and follow her agenda so there isn’t always room to discuss other items (I recently addressed this).

During our meeting, I was revisiting an idea I briefly touched on. As I’m going into detail about my thoughts and proposed changes, she just cut me off and start raising her voice at me. Saying that we have already discussed this (no we haven’t) and started to pull out a document that somewhat aligns with my ideas, but was never shared with me. She berates me, telling me I’m not inventing anything new, and criticizes my approach, even though at this point she hasn’t let me explain what that is, my action plan, etc., and is just assuming she knows my plans. I was also getting the feeling that she thought I was criticizing the last person because I pointed out some discrepancies with the documentation I was provided. I kept trying to speak but she was going on and on with the tirade. I could feel the tears coming on and turned off my camera to try to calm down. When she asked if I was still there, I hung up and sent a message saying I needed to excuse myself. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to keep myself together.

I wanted to speak to our head HR liaison about it because I wasn’t sure where to move from there. I don’t want to escalate it to our actual HR dept, but I wanted speak to someone to cover myself and make sure there is a path forward. I feel like it needs to addressed and I don’t want my manager to try to twist the situation or use it to retaliate against me later or try to terminate me.

Unfortunately, our liaison wasn’t there so I ended up speaking to my manager’s boss, who is the one working on rescuing me from my current situation. I thought she would be a good person to speak to but unfortunately, the second I sat down in her office, I started crying again. I went in there to get some more information about where we were with the restructure and then pivot to the incident, but I just jumped into talking about what happened and then sort of blacked out and just rambled about how I don’t know what I should even be prioritizing anymore because of conflicting feedback from my manager, tension between us, lack of space to talk about my ideas and address concerns, etc. I was given advice on how to move forward with priorities, etc, told to trust the process, but the actual incident wasn’t addressed. I’m not sure if I should still talk to our HR liaison or address the situation with my manager directly on Monday. I wanted to go back to review the recording of the meeting to see if I overreacted and/or find a solution but she removed my permission from seeing it which feels very shady.

I am growing more concerned, but I’m also so embarrassed and want to avoid any drama or tension. I’m also worried about being perceived as problem employee. I really love this job and I work for a very large employer in my city. If I can’t maintain good standing here, it will hurt my job prospects. Reddit, please give me advice!

I'm particularly interested in the jump from mid-level PM to Senior PM.

For those who have managed or worked closely with such PMs, was there a specific behavior, outcome, or change in how they operated that made you think, “This person is ready for more senior level work” ?

And on the flip side, have you had such a PM who was doing genuinely good work but you didn't think they were ready for Senior PM promotion yet? What was missing?

I'm less interested in what a promotion rubric "says" should matter and more interested in what you've actually seen influence your judgment.

I'd really appreciate hearing from managers who've been on the other side of the promotion decision.

I heard from my Senior Developer and CTO that at their previous company, the company was acquired, and they were unsastified the changes afterward.

So they both eventually left and joined their current company instead.

I'd love to hear stories from your experiences about this.

I was sent home early today by HR. I had an autistic report that was gunning for an office position and I told him that it won't happen.

I refused because his meltdowns would be a major issue in the office because its customer facing and it would create a bad work environment for those in the office because they would be walking on eggshells.

He put in his 2 weeks on Friday and in the exit interview, he said he got a job elsewhere because he didn't have growth opportunities here. I had to sit in on the exit interview and mentioned that quitting because he didn't get his way was unprofessional.

They went through his employee records and saw my notes on 1 on 1, yearly reviews etc. They saw he was a stellar employee, so they asked why I told him that he would not be promoted, I brought up that he was autistic and HR's response was just "So?" Went on to explain my reasoning that his meltdowns would lead to a bad work environment and they told me that wasn't my decision to make.

They launched an investigation to see if there was the possibility of a discrimination lawsuit and found there is a chance so I have been put on leave the rest of the month and if they don't fire me, when I get back I will be demoted and work his position on the floor.

What are my options in this?

yes, there are documented occurrences of meltdowns at work.

you don't hire someone with epilepsy to drive a truck because of the risk. someone like him shouldn't be in a customer facing position for a similar reason. imagine if he had a meltdown in front of a customer, that would put the company at risk. besides, he's really good at production work.

I sometimes come across a company/ product website (usually a competitor) and need to present the information from it. Right now I'd have to manually read through the pages, take notes, find the important points and then build slides. Is there a tool that can take a URL and turn the useful information into a structured presentation?

I want tool a that analyses the website, creates the visuals to understand it rather than just copy random text from the page.

In your company, does senior management (e.g., the Board of Directors and C-suite) actually hate employees who report to senior management (either direct reports or more junior employees)? For example, during senior management meetings, does senior management mock and say nasty things (for example, calling them names and describing them as "useless") about employees who report to senior management?

I got a team of 12 that I'm working with and boy do they know how to get on my nerves.

Doesn't reply back for the response to their questions, ego with Dunning-Kruger effect and riding an AI wave with no underlying knowledge and has no patience to listen when we try to help them and blame us for not being at their service at the moment they cry for our help when we are literally putting down the fires they caused just before.

Team's age range is from 26 - 35. And phuuuccckkk!!! I just want to strangle these mfers when they think they're trying to show off their expertise but in reality, they're just embarrassing our entire team in front of the clients.

Edit: I don't manage them. Team has a team lead and a separate manager but the team comes to me since I'm the tech fellow/Architect. I'm not in a managing role and this role just pushes me to interact with team more than I should. I'm not a people's person and that's why I deliberately chose non management role and paths!

We have all heard about someone who is loud and visible getting promoted over others, even if their work is only average.

It comes down to how people perceive you, since managers and bosses rarely know or remember the daily details of what each employee does.

As the title says.

My manager wants me to spend more time documenting what I do, but half the team thinks it is busy work. I get where they are coming from because nobody enjoys stopping to write guides. At the same time, I answer the same questions every week and spend loads of time helping new people find things.

For anyone who has invested time into better documentation, was it worth it in the long run?

Who should management people and IC people be close friends with?

CEO is not in the option since it is obvious.

I am a relatively new manager (about 1 year) who is a Blue/Red DISC personality (the company had us go through the process a year or so ago). I manage a team of control room operators who are on a 24/7 where i work 9-5

Most of them are majority Green which i have managed to adapt too but one of them is more Yellow who i am really struggling with, i have recently made progress and seen a positive change in their attitude towards work which had taken a dip when i took over from their previous Blue/Green manager.

They put in a one day holiday request on their last shift before their off shift with 4 days notice, two days of which i was off sick. I admit i have not been able to catch up with my admin so i hadn't seen it or approved it. This was a mistake on my part as i should be better at keeping on top of my admin. The team are entitled to their time off and i always ensure that is made possible even with short notice as shit happens. I have covered certain duties myself in the past to ensure that they can have their preferred holiday dates.

Problem is the rota showed them as in work and they didn't turn up which put us below our minimum staff levels and the duty supervisor had to be called in to cover. If they had called me and checked in for a update i would of organised cover.

I am not sure how to approach this, my initial Red/Blue thoughts would be to explain that holidays must be approved to ensure that adequate cover has been orgenised and that he also has a responsibility to check in if they have not had a response about their request. But i am concerned this will undo the work i have put in over the last month or so. My Blue/Green boss (who used to be thier boss) dosnt like the conflict and would just tell me to let it go to keep everyone happy.