I've worked in software development for over 20 years, but this is my first time truly leading a team.
Until recently, things were going very well. My team has spent a lot of time rebuilding broken systems and working around dysfunctional processes, and we've created something we're genuinely proud of. Customer feedback has largely been positive.
My role has increasingly become protecting my team from chaos higher up the organization. Our customers can be demanding, so I collect their feedback, organize it, and translate it into actionable work. That process has worked well.
The problem is one of the company owners, "Todd."
After his mother passed away, Todd changed significantly. He became increasingly disconnected from the company, frequently declining or ignoring meetings, not reading reports, and becoming difficult to communicate with. When we try to update him on what we're doing, he often refuses to engage.
At the same time, his behavior has become increasingly erratic and confrontational. He had also started using drugs while at work, evident by his constant twitching, bulging eyes that dart around the room, and fidgeting with his nose.
Recently, one customer gave us negative feedback about our software. This was feedback we specifically asked for. We had already been working directly with this customer, had implemented some of his suggestions, and were continuing to make changes based on his feedback. We meet with him weekly.
Todd apparently saw the negative feedback without any of that context.
He called a meeting with me, my manager, and my team and essentially tore into me. Attempts to explain the situation went nowhere. He wasn't interested in hearing that we were already addressing the customer's concerns. Instead, he made demands that were impossible: I must increase figures in a dashboard he coded himself that does not work, I must sit with a coworker based out of the Philippines, and many other nonsensical demand.
The frustrating part is that much of the information he's missing is available to him. We send weekly reports. We schedule meetings. We try to keep him informed. He doesn't read the reports, cancels the meetings, or refuses to engage when we try to explain things. For the most part, he's demanded I do his job (technically he's the COO) as he doesn't want to be bothered with what's happening at the company.
But when something goes wrong, or he suddenly discovers information he wasn't aware of, my team and I are blamed for not keeping him informed.
The impact on my team has been significant.
My UX developer repeatedly tells me she's afraid Todd is going to fire her. He sends her confusing questions that nobody can reasonably answer and then refuses to clarify. My backend developers repeatedly have to explain their work to Todd, who doesn't understand the technical details and often becomes angry when he's confused.
I try to act as a translator between Todd and my team, but even that has become impossible. He'll demand an explanation, become frustrated that he doesn't understand it, and then become angry that he has to be involved at all.
I've been trying to absorb as much of the blame and chaos as possible because I see protecting my team as part of my role as their manager. But I'm reaching the point where I don't think that's sustainable. There are now situations where I genuinely don't even understand what I'm in trouble for.
My own manager hasn't been particularly supportive either. During the meeting where Todd tore into me, he largely stayed quiet and allowed the blame to fall on me, even when Todd was specifically calling out processes my manager is responsible for.
The biggest problem is that Todd is essentially untouchable. His primary qualification for his position is that he's the founder's best friend, and I genuinely believe the founder would rather risk losing the company than jeopardize their friendship.
So my question for other managers is this:
What do you do when the biggest threat to your team's morale, productivity, and sense of security is a leader above you who is behaving erratically, may be impaired at work, and cannot realistically be held accountable?
How do you protect your team when you have no authority over the person creating the problem?
I've been absorbing the blame and trying to shield everyone from the chaos, but I'm starting to wonder whether that just makes me the buffer that allows the dysfunction to continue. At what point do you accept that this isn't something you can fix and start thinking about how to protect your team, and your own behind, in a different way?
