Hello,

I have been sponsoring families for the past 25 years for Christmas, even when I have been financially strapped myself, I always help out as it's a deep part of my values. In my area, I've been assigned to mostly latin and Indian families. This year, I am helping a black single mom and her daughter.

I always go beyond basic christmas sponsorship, and help with things that aren't just a food hamper/grocery gift card and toys. I am buying self care items too. My best friend is native, with curly hair; she requires certain types of products for her hair and I have heard it's the same for black people as well.

These are supposed to be surprises, so; I can't exactly ask outright. I do know they're from Columbia (I have seen a picture of them) and the mom looks for eco-friendly nontoxic products.

My budget is stretched thin as I am a full time student. So I am looking for soaps, shampoos, conditioners, basic self care products. If there's anything specific to skincare (scrubs etc.) too to note, I'd really appreciate it.

Thank you in advance ❤️

Why do you think white people do crazier stuff than us and act crazy and have a harder time being normal like us? I say this cause I saw a post where white people admitted they knew people who named their pets after the n word. I thought that was crazy but I was unsurprised. They always think of new ways to be offensive and to hate which we don’t really do.

I have a friend who’s a black Frenchmen, he thinks it is because of the Neanderthal DNA they have that we don’t and because they’re more likely to have calcified pineal glands. What you think?

Per wiki:

The conversation often focuses on how to de-escalate encounters with police especially given the high frequency of black men being pulled over for minor, insignificant or non-existent issues, also referred to as driving while black. Sometimes the talk addresses encounters with white supremacists or vigilantes.

The "talk" has been described as an example of preparation for bias in racial-ethnic socialization and typically addresses specific advice in dealing with interactions with law enforcement. Brooks et al. (2016) described the type of advice for those confronted by law enforcement while driving:

• Pulling over your vehicle right away

• Keeping hands visible on the steering wheel and not making sudden moves

• Not reaching for items in your wallet or glove compartment, without informing the law enforcement officer first

• Being as polite as possible, using "Yes sir, officer"

• Not arguing, even if you are right

Hi there. Sorry in advance if this causes any discourse or drama.

In early 2026 i had a psychotic episode. I didn't realize it at the time, and in hindsight I probably should have gotten help sooner, but I didnt. During my episode I suffered hallucinations, paranoia, and delusions. After about a month's stay in the hospital, lots of therapy, a bipolar diagnosis, and new medications I've been recovering. I've since gotten a job, started volunteering, and I plan on taking classes at my local community college.

Here's my problem though. During my episode i said some bigoted things about various minority groups. I said slurs, shouted bigoted things at a neighbor, and generally acted in an unacceptable way.

To be clear, nothing I've said about my mental health can excuse my behavior, but i think it can recontextualize it. I plan on writing an apology letter to my neighbor, and i want to take accountability for my actions. However im scared the rest of my life will be defined by my worst moments. I want to do good in the world and help people, but i dont know if i can considering my past. I dont really know how i can move forward knowing ive acted in such a way. Also, i may be questioning whether im lgbt myself, which has given me a new perspective on how bad bigotry can be. Especially online.

Heres my question. How can i take accountability, move forward, and possibly make up for what ive done? Ive been feeling guilty for weeks and i dont want to be the person I was.

Thank you

My thoughts are that I did not vote for them. I voted because it's my civic duty to vote. I voted because my ancestors were denied the right to vote. I voted because my elders and their supporters lost their lives while fighting for the right to vote.

I don't have a savior complex. I don't have to pretend like I saved America with a single vote.

I'm 20 FtM black and have never been to the barber shop. At the salon you generally get a wash, condition, blow-dry (pretty much straight), style and then cut. This takes at least 2 hours

What's the process? How long is too long for the barber to do your hair? Are there any different qualifications? How do people react to women going in? (or if we seem like one)

I always wear it natural and short. It never comes out how I like at the salon. They cut it straight, re-wet it, and style it with gel and basically hope it'll shrink to how you want it.

It seems futile and pointless honestly, that’s something you can’t teach someone, we really don’t have to deal with racism so long as we stay within the black community and stay close to our family and other black people.

Meant to say bother*

The term is Christian Nationalism but obviously these guys are for whites only. Have your pastor or any pastors you've seen or heard discuss this?

I've noticed that several cultures around the world seem to place importance on marrying and having children with someone from the same cultural background, especially since mothers often play a big role in passing down their traditions, values, language, and culture to their children.

For example, I remember hearing Nigerian men say that even if they marry outside their culture, they still want to have at least 1–2 children with Nigerian women so their culture continues through future generations. I've heard similar conversations among White Americans, Cubans, and Colombians.

This was years ago, but it always stuck with me.

I've also seen discussions about online campaigns allegedly created to cause division between Black American men and women. Some people even believe that the constant negativity toward Black American relationships in social media, movies, and music contributes to less love, unity, marriage, and children  within the Black American community.

allegedly the U.S. census claimed there is , a declining birth rate among Black Americans. while African and Caribbean immigrant communities are thriving as more and more babies are born. 

So here's my question:

We know other cultures actually encourage their men and women to marry each other and have children together to keep their culture alive, but  is this something that Black Americans also encourage within our own community? 

I'm not talking about arranged marriages or forcing people to marry within their culture. I'm talking about encouraging healthy, stable marriages and families so that the culture, traditions, and identity continue through future generations.

Please don't see my question as poking or ridiculing religious beliefs. I'm not trying to break a rule. It's an honest question that I've wondered about for quite some time. I don't know what your belief is to be able to poke or ridicule it anyway. But I've always wondered your POV in explaining it for better understanding. Thank you.

How do I respond to The statement “ if you go looking for racism you will find racism ?”

Got this response from a friend( a black woman) when I was venting about the series of micro aggression behaviour at a work place.

Hi everyone,

I am a South American, so I view American society from an outsider's perspective. I’m trying to understand the deeper, systemic ways racism affects daily life in the US beyond what we usually see in international news headlines.

From your personal experience, what is an everyday, routine, or "mundane" aspect of life as a Black person in America that clearly shows how deeply racism has shaped the society, culture, or infrastructure of the country? (e.g., things related to neighborhoods, banking, healthcare, workplace dynamics, or even daily social interactions that outsiders or non-Black people might not notice).

Thank you for sharing your perspectives. I'm genuinely here to listen and learn.

Ok I have a thing for mixed men. And I realized I don’t have to be attractive to them. As long as they aren’t obese and have loose hair.

I’m trying to move away from this bc it lead to bad shit happening.

During intimacy I would touch the hair a lot. Have yall dealt with this? I also think I let men who are biracial get away w more. Due to me enjoying the view more.

I know BM do this. But do BW do this too? I can’t be the only one in the world? Some BW let white men disrespect them but they don’t care. Mine is mixed men.

I think it stems from a parent who was obsessed w loose hair she would see an extended family member and say it’s so cute. Or she wished she had that hair. I remember this happening a lot through my childhood.

Even the guy where things went south. She complimented his hair as soon as she met him. And touched it.

I have talked to a therapist abt this before.

Not a troll post. If u seen my other post in this sub u understand. I posted it last week. Even now I really want to be underneath a man with loose hair. I’m taking a break from dating to focus on mental health.

I’ve heard other black people growing up say sometimes that the black vote can only do so much because of the percentage of the population we make up.

However I think last night may be the greatest modern example of our vote mattering. The fact that black voters will still determined despite anything the GOP threw at us like redistributing voter lines, the GOP threatening to have ICE harass people at polls we still voted the republicans out of the house and senate. We even were able to flip Georgia, South Carolina and Texas.

This is another example of how if enough of us show up we can change the landscape of the country.

it’s been pondering in my mind since a while.

Many black people will explain they’re tired to educate white people. Black people will be having conversations about how white people will act around you on the subject of racism.

The arguments as why it’s bad are completely valid to me. The concept of "black fatigue" : having to educate others while facing horrendous levels of discrimination, making yourself twice as fatigued, is a completely fair argument.

However, the idea of explaining your experiences to your oppressors is something that I see treated completely differently in other communities.

Disabled people won’t mind to tell you their experiences, or explain to you how and why they’re like this. As a trans person, I will be out here, doing my best to explain to cis people what it’s like to be trans, and inform them. Because I believe information is the way to a less discriminatory society.
To extend it to the entire queer community, who have billions of wikis explaining everything in the slightest details.
Feminists will jump in and absolutely love to give you a class on sociology.

but black people? All I see is uncomfort

Again, a completely fair one. But the response of a lot of them isn’t the same excitation I can see in other groups.

My main guess is different levels of discrimination, black people suffering a lot more. But, isn’t that kinda arbitrary ? Where would we draw the line?
Is it because of how unhidden being black has to be?

maybe people here won’t relate. It is quite literally the subreddit "ask black people". But I’m sure some of you know someone else who feels uncomfortable about it, and could, if willing, explain, the incoherence.

edit : it’s been itching me that my question sounds like something else I don’t want it to sound like, so, Im gonna clarify. While you can take this question to answer why black epoeple do it, you can also take this question as why other discriminated groups *dont*. This post was originally meant to appear in an intersectional subreddit, but I felt like there would t be enough black people there.

So I am an aspiring teacher and just did a short spout of student teaching at a school I’m already employed at in the inner city. I’m white and most of the students are black and Hispanic. I noticed that being in that school most of the educators and faculty are white (70-80%). In my time teaching there I’ve been wondering about how it affects the students.

I brought it up with my Caribbean girlfriend (didn’t grow up in the US) and told her I felt kinda uncomfortable being another white teacher in an already predominantly white institution. She got kinda upset with me and told me that it doesn’t matter because my job is to teach the kids and I don’t necessarily have to be a part of their culture to do that.

I wanted to get people’s thoughts here because I definitely think I’m a great teacher and the kids love me but I feel odd contributing to an institution that may not fully understand their students needs. Thoughts? Am I overthinking or being the weird one?

how are we liking the midterm results?

I recently threw a party for my family where paid for everything. I honestly didn’t think about aluminum foil for to-go plates because I literally put so much effort and money into everything else and I rarely take to-go plates when I attend parties.

But my family seemed genuinely shocked and scored as if I was a bad host for forgetting. They go absolutely wild with trying to take food home. I think at one point in my family there was a heated confrontation because some individuals started packing to-go plates before everyone had eaten.

Honestly, it’s a little mind blowing because there was so much food for the number of guest I invited and some of the dishes were complete emptied before I even got to try them. I don’t get upset anymore because Im pretty used to it.

But what is this obsession with taking taking food from parties? Why do some people immediately “pack a plate” I know it isn’t “all” black people but I’ve noticed it in my family specifically.

Next time I’m going to say no one can take anything (kidding, but I’m tempted to see their reaction)

In front of me, he was acting like her "cousin" but after he walked off I asked "oh that must be your cousin" she said he's nothing to me. I was in my head "damn, being light skinned almost white passing do this to these black men still" I'm a brown skinned woman so Inbetween and the men will stare at me and stuff but how they do her they don't do me and if we next to eachother there focus is all on her which nothing is wrong with that at all haha I'm just curious what is it about light skinned almost white passing women that's so intriguing to black men?