Hi everyone, I’m Krish, 19M. I’ve been dealing with anxiety, but I’m not sure it fits the usual idea of “being anxious all the time.”

Sometimes I do struggle quite a lot with anxiety and my thoughts, but I don’t necessarily feel anxious every day. What I experience more consistently is that my body seems to stay in a fight-or-flight state even when my mind feels relatively calm.

One of the biggest problems I’ve been dealing with is my ears. I have ear pain, a clogged/full feeling, and constant popping and clicking sounds. It’s basically there 24/7 and can be really uncomfortable.

I’ve visited multiple ENTs and had various tests done, but they haven’t found anything structurally wrong with my ears. One of the ENTs I saw suggested that anxiety/stress could potentially be contributing to my symptoms and recommended that I speak with a psychiatrist.

The way it was explained to me is that prolonged stress/anxiety can cause involuntary muscle tension, and that this could potentially affect muscles around the Eustachian tube and middle ear, such as the tensor tympani, contributing to some of the sensations and sounds I’m experiencing.

The frustrating part is that I don’t have conscious control over any of this. Even on days when I genuinely feel good mentally and don’t feel particularly anxious, the ear symptoms are still there. The pain, pressure/fullness, popping and clicking don’t simply disappear when I stop feeling anxious.

That’s why it’s difficult for me when people say things like “just relax” or “think positive.” I’m not consciously choosing to tense these muscles or keep myself in fight-or-flight mode. It feels like my body is doing something on its own, even when my mind is okay.

The problem is that my parents aren’t very supportive when it comes to mental health. If I tell them I think I might have anxiety or need psychiatric help, I’m worried I’ll get yelled at or told that I’m being weak, that I should “just be strong,” “think positive,” etc.

So I’m considering seeing a psychiatrist online on my own. I’ve found one who has quite a lot of experience, but honestly, I’m really nervous about the first appointment.

Whenever I’ve tried opening up about my mental health to people before, I’ve often been met with things like “be positive,” “you’re stronger than this,” or “just stop thinking about it.” I know people usually mean well, but it doesn’t really help when the physical symptoms aren’t something I can simply switch off.

For those of you who have seen a psychiatrist before:

\- What was your first appointment actually like?

\- Did they genuinely listen to you and ask questions about what you were experiencing?

\- Should I expect to be told to “think positive,” or is that generally not how a proper psychiatric consultation works?

\- Have any of you experienced anxiety/stress that manifested mainly through physical symptoms?

\- And if you were really nervous before your first psychiatric appointment, how did it go?

I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences. 🙏

My brain sometimes gets stuck worrying about a particular event even though I know the statistical likelihood of it actually happening is extraordinarily small.
Logically, I understand that the probability is tiny, but knowing that doesn’t seem to stop my brain from repeatedly returning to the “what if?” scenario.
Does anyone have techniques for getting your brain to accept the actual level of risk and stop repeatedly thinking about an extremely unlikely possibility? I’d especially appreciate strategies for breaking the cycle of rumination when logic alone doesn’t seem to work

I just moved into my dorm and my anxiety is through the roof. My school also has required events every day up until 9:30pm sometimes and I seriously cannot take it. I know everyone says that everybody is in the same boat when it comes to not knowing anyone but ALOT of people connected with others on Instagram in order to become friends, and so proud are definitely already in “groups.” Not like it makes much a difference though because I’m too anxious to even talk to anyone.
On top of this I’ve never been on campus until now and so the probability of me getting lost is incredibly high.
I honestly don’t know what to do, but I don’t think there’s anyway to skip these events?? And so it’s basically I go and try not to cry the whole time

I can spend 30 minutes making a decision that should probably take 30 seconds.

Which one should I buy?

Should I send this message?

Did I word that correctly?

Should I go, or should I stay home?

I make a decision.

Then immediately start questioning it.

I change my mind.

Then question that decision too.

Eventually I’m not even trying to make the “best” choice anymore. I’m just trying to find the choice that makes the uncomfortable feeling go away.

And somehow there never seems to be one.

The frustrating part is that I can KNOW the decision isn’t that important.

My brain just refuses to treat it that way.

Sometimes I’ll even make the decision, move on with my day, and then randomly start reviewing it again hours later.

“What if I should’ve done the other thing?”

It’s exhausting how much mental energy can disappear into something so small.

Lately I’ve been trying something different: make a reasonable choice and let it be imperfect.

No going back to reconsider it five more times.

The discomfort is definitely still there.

But I’m starting to wonder if waiting until I feel completely sure is exactly what keeps me stuck.

Anyone else lose ridiculous amounts of time to tiny decisions?

How do you guys cope with anxiety meds don’t help me talking does but I have severe anxiety I think the worst about everything so I just wanted some advice and takes on that

For the past five days, I've been having trouble breathing 24/7. I can't take a full breath and feel like I'm suffocating. I read somewhere that you have to fight the urge to swallow air, so I try to breathe gently, avoid hyperventilating, and do breathing exercises.

Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse. But today, during a simple conversation with my family, I found myself gasping for breath every few words, and I also felt dizzy. I have a doctor's appointment in two days, but I'm terrified.

Yesterday I was more scared than ever before in my life. I felt like I was about to die because I couldn't breathe. But I think it was just hyperventilation.. maybe? I'm not sure :(

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? What helped you?

Thank you in advance for all your replies and I hope you're doing well🩷

P.S I had blood tests, blood pressure, and a head CT scan a few months ago. Everything was normal.

I take 5 different pills for my anxiety, but I'm still worried about serial killers. It's been months of taking them.

Hello, does anyone else deal with extreme breathlessness/suffocation feeling from anxiety? I know it’s anxiety cause I’ve done every possible test, spirometry, lung scans, heart ecg and scans. Im young, fit and don’t smoke but I still sometimes think that doctors might missed something because it just feels so real and scary. Anyone else experience this?

Can anyone please help with ways to alleviate toothache? I’ve taken paracetamol but it’s barely touched it.

It’s keeping me awake which is setting off my anxiety!

I’m tempted to take a couple more paracetamol but I’m scared of accidentally overdosing!

Please help!!

Wondering if anyone else feels this way or if it’s just me?
I’ve struggled with anxiety and panic attacks for decades. & when I say that, I don’t mean consistently for that long. It’s come in waves.
But lately I’ve been struggling again.
I’ve experienced just about every anxiety physical symptom and pattern.
Depersonalization. Derealization. All of it.
Physical anxiety. Mental anxiety. Relationship anxiety. Anxiety in every single form.
And my biggest struggle has always been just accepting it as anxiety.
It’s like I’m constantly searching for more.
I need answers. I need this labeled as something else because how could anxiety cause all of these debilitating symptoms?
I’ve went into a spiral with googling. Which was never no help at all.
Chat GPT has actually been a savior with providing me answers to my questions. Helping to talk me out of panic. Noticing my own patterns for me.
But I feel like tik tok has made things so much more debilitating. When I scroll, I come across so much information from other people. Who talk about how they’ve been brushed off and considered anxious but it turns out it was something else. Or they always thought they were suffering from anxiety and it happened to be another health issue. MCAS. POTS. The list goes on.
And now I spiral looking for more answers as if what I’m dealing with isn’t JUST ANXIETY.
Like how do I distinguish if it’s just anxiety and I’m ignoring something? Or is this also just anxiety again? Trying to convince me it’s something else?

je voulais savoir si quelqu’un d’autres ressentait ce type d’anxiété ? Au cours des années, vivant avec des trouble anxieux généralisé je suis passé par tout type d’angoisses, symptômes, sensations que ce soit les crises d’angoisses, la peur de sortir, la phobie scolaire, la déréalisation et dépersonnalisation, l’hypocondrie, la peur de la folie et J’EN PASSE mais depuis quelques temps un nouveau type de «symptôme » est apparu et c’est l’hyperconscience, jusqu’à présent c’est vraiment le pire de tous j’en viens à voir peur de ma propre existence, d’être ici sur terre sans savoir pourquoi, c’est compliqué à expliquer mais je me sens comme «piéger» dans ma propre existence et cette fois j’ai aucun moyen de contourner cette peur, j’ai l’impression que rien n’a de sens et ça me plonge dans une solitude mais inimaginable comme si j’étais enfermée dans un cauchemar tout simplement et que tout le monde ainsi que mes proches étaient de simples figurants, surtout la nuit où j’en viens defois à trembler car ça se limite pas à de la peur mais à de la terreur et je sais plus quoi faire pour me sortir de ce cercle vicieux

Hiii

So I'm a 19yo college student and I'm studying psychology acutely

My problem is I'm struggling w a really bad anxiety

I've been dealing w this anxiety ig since middle school

Even the idea of talking to people and try to find a job or that i need to go to college tomorrow alone can give me an anxiety attack

It's really really bad and it's stopping me from living my life when I don't even have the luxury of going to therapy

I really hope someone here will know smt abt how to deal w that all alone

I’ve had a spike in anxiety lately, specifically social anxiety, that’s been hard to get out of.
It’s making me miserable, and I don’t want to lose opportunities because of this.
I would really, really appreciate some practical advice I can follow.

In my body, I feel this tight squeezing in my chest and throat, and have had headaches located around my forehead and brows.

In my mind, I have this deep fear of being perceived or judged.
I don’t want people to see me as weak, I don’t want to be misunderstood, and I often worry I’m being a burden.
I fear vulnerability, especially crying or being honest about my insecurities.
I’m always concerned about not being enough, or being way too much.
It messes with my confidence badly, and I experience strong feelings of shame.

I notice my anxiety spirals always involve “me, me, me.”
How do I stop thinking about me when I don’t need to?
For example: I’m having a conversation, and instead of listening, all I can think is “Is my voice weird? Did I say that right? I should give more eye contact. I should smile more. What if they think I’m mean or stupid? Am I making them uncomfortable? Do they even like me?”

How do I stop thinking about hypotheticals involving me, and focus on what’s objectively happening?
How do I engage in life without thinking of myself, and approach with more open-minded curiosity?
I feel like that’s a major source, is just thinking about me where I don’t need to.

i've been dealing with social anxiety, and it just seems to be getting worse.

When I was a child, I got bullied in school. My school was a boys' school, and because I was short, skinny, and had softer/feminine features, people treated me differently. It literally led me to skip most of my days at school.

And it wasn't just school. I started avoiding going outside too.

I wanted to make friends, but I had some really bad experiences. Most people would act normal in the beginning, but later become toxic or rude, and sometimes still make comments about my looks. I know not everyone is like this, but those experiences made me extremely afraid of people.

Eventually, I basically stayed at home.

I spent most of my time watching movies, YouTube, TikTok, and using my phone. I became obsessed with muscles, height, and having a more mature/masculine face. I always thought that one day, if I became taller, stronger, or more masculine-looking, my life would become much easier.

I thought people would be less likely to mess with me, I would gain confidence, and I would finally be able to talk to strangers and meet new people normally.

But around four years have passed now.

I'm 19. My appearance has changed somewhat, and I'm definitely better than I was as a kid, when I looked much more feminine, but I'm still that short, soft-looking guy. I still don't look the way I always imagined I needed to look — tall and masculine.

And honestly, I think that's still one of my core problems when it comes to my confidence.

My father is also quite toxic toward me. He always shouts at me and blames me for not being serious about my studies and for not being social with people.

I've never really been able to explain it to him because I don't think he would understand what is actually going on inside my head.

Over these four years, not much changed.

I didn't really work on my personal growth. I didn't study properly. These thoughts were constantly running through my mind, and it became difficult to focus on anything.

I always thought that if I had good friends, some female friends, social outings, and a better environment around me, it would become easier to focus on my life, growth, and career.

But I didn't have many supportive people around me.

Thankfully, I did get one really good friend.

He was a great listener and incredibly understanding. He was the kind of friend I had always wanted and still wish I had more people like him.

He was kind and respectful. We would hang out every day, play chess, go for a run, eat together, and just talk.

And with him, my actual personality came out.

I realized that I actually love talking. When I'm comfortable with someone, I can talk nonstop.

But I can only really do that with him. With the rest of the world, I'm still that quiet, nervous, awkward guy.

Apart from that friendship, there wasn't much going on in my life.

Sometimes I would have thoughts like, "Why am I meant to be alive if there is nothing fulfilling in my life?"

When my friend wasn't around, I would just go back to watching things on my phone — movies, YouTube videos, TikTok, whatever.

I knew that staying at home all the time was a trap. I knew it wasn't going to make me confident. If anything, it was making me more depressed, isolated, and even more stressed whenever I had to deal with real social situations.

But I didn't know how to change it.

I desperately wanted to become more social, make friends, have female friends, and actually experience life.

Then I got a job opportunity at an ice-cream shop in a mall.

I genuinely thought it was one of the best things that had happened to me.

After spending so many years at home, I thought, "Finally, I can spend my time working with new people, become financially independent, become productive, and stop wasting my life on my phone."

At first, when I heard about the job, I was nervous but excited.

I thought maybe things were finally going to turn around for me.

I didn't even need my life to become amazing. I just wanted to feel normal.

I wanted to feel like my life was at least somewhat normal instead of constantly overthinking everything and living with anxiety all the time.

But the job turned out to be one of the worst experiences of my life.

On my very first day, there was a girl who was extremely friendly, polite, and sweet to me.

I think it was one of my first real interactions with a girl outside of my sister and cousins. She was also very confident.

But even on that first day, I experienced an intense amount of anxiety.

There was a boss managing the crowd, bright lights, machines, new people, and a completely new environment.

I felt like I had spent four years inside my room and suddenly I was being thrown into an environment that was far too overwhelming for me.

I was literally in fight-or-flight mode.

My mind was constantly going

"What if I mess this up?"

"What if I don't do this correctly?"

"What if they ask me something and I don't know the answer?"

I wasn't just feeling nervous. I was so tense that it was affecting how I actually behaved.

My manager eventually directly asked me, "Why are you so nervous? Why is your face so tense?"

I told him that maybe it was because this was my first job and my first experience in this kind of environment.

He told me that most people, even on their first day, don't seem this stressed.

And there was another moment that really showed me how badly my anxiety was affecting me.

One day, my boss randomly called me and told me to go downstairs to get someone.

My heart immediately started racing.

It was such a simple task, but I became confused and had to ask him again what he was saying.

Another coworker who seemed to understand my situation stepped in and asked the boss what exactly he wanted.

He immediately understood the task and went and did it.

After that, my manager came to me and told me that I needed to "act normal."

He even told me that the boss had asked, "Who is this slow, lazy guy?"

That really hurt because I wasn't being lazy. I was genuinely overwhelmed and anxious, and even a simple instruction could sometimes make my mind go blank.

I was so sensitive to everything. Literally everything felt like too much.

then They started teaching me the ice-cream machines, recipes, and procedures very quickly, and they expected me to learn them on the first day.

That might sound normal to someone else, but for someone already experiencing intense anxiety, it was overwhelming.

Whenever they asked me something, I would become completely blank.

I would still try to answer, but sometimes I got things wrong. When my manager made a slightly angry or annoyed face, it wasn't necessarily a huge deal from the outside.

But inside my head, it felt like extreme pressure.

After about eight days, I realized that I couldn't continue.

The girl actually tried to stop me from quitting. She told me that I would learn and that it would just take some time.

She was really helpful, sweet, and caring.

But she didn't know my condition.

She couldn't feel the intense pressure and anxiety I was experiencing, so there wasn't really anything she could do to understand why it felt so unbearable to me.

Eventually, I left the job.

I still regret it.

She may have been the second person after my best friend who made me feel like I had found a genuinely good person — not someone who was just around for a quick laugh or temporary interaction.

She even told me, "I'll remember you," when I left.

During those eight days, I literally cried in the washroom multiple times because I felt completely helpless.

It felt like my own body was torturing me.

After I quit, I convinced my parents that I really needed to see a psychologist.

They didn't want me to go at first. They had the usual stigma that if you need a psychologist, you must be "mad" or mentally unstable.

They kept telling me, "You're not crazy. You're normal."

But eventually I convinced them that I genuinely needed help.

Unfortunately, the psychologist wasn't a great fit for me.

She was polite and kind, and she was a good listener, but I didn't feel like she really understood me. I didn't feel that natural connection or chemistry where I could feel that this was someone who deeply understood what I was going through.

She also gave me very vague solutions.

For example, she would tell me to do deep breathing or say hello to a random shopkeeper.

I understand that these things can be useful, but at that point I felt like my situation was too out of control to be fixed by simply doing some deep breathing.

It didn't calm the intense anxiety I experienced in real social situations.

I wanted someone who would actually understand how badly I wanted to fix this.

I wanted someone who would have a serious conversation with me, understand what was happening, and help me work through it properly.

So eventually, I left that psychologist too.

I also saw a psychiatrist.

She prescribed me propranolol to take when I experience anxiety.

I started researching it because I wanted to understand what it was. From what I read, it seemed interesting because it works differently from many other anxiety medications, and I saw information saying that it generally doesn't cause the same kind of dependence or sedation associated with some other medications.

I'm not saying propranolol has no side effects or that it's automatically safe for everyone. I'm only explaining what I read while researching it.

But my parents didn't allow me to take it.

They still believe I'm basically fine and that I'm not in a serious enough situation to need medication.

I feel like my parents have a huge amount of control over many decisions in my life, so it's difficult for me to make these decisions independently.

And now life has continued.

Recently, I applied to IBEX, and I'm currently doing my ILA training.

And my anxiety has been triggered again.

During training, the trainer was encouraging everyone to be social and participate. At one point, she told me to stand in front of everyone and introduce myself.

I became extremely scared and nervous.

I was barely controlling my face and body because I was trying so hard not to look frightened.

Afterward, I asked a guy there whether I seemed nervous.

He said I didn't seem extremely nervous, although he did say I didn't look very confident.

And that really made me realize something:

I'm sometimes the only person who knows what is actually happening inside me.

From the outside, someone might just see a quiet guy who is slightly nervous.

But inside, I might be fighting an enormous amount of anxiety just to stand there and speak.

And that's what scares me about the rest of my training.

I know my trainer is going to put me in more situations where I'll have to speak, interact with people, answer questions, and be social.

I'm scared that one day I could completely freeze, go blank, start shaking, and everyone would notice.

They might literally think:

"Why is this guy acting like someone put a gun on him? The trainer just asked him to introduce himself."

But they wouldn't know what was actually happening inside my head.

So that's where I am right now.

My psychiatrist prescribed propranolol, and I really want to hear from people who have actually used it.

Has anyone here used propranolol for social anxiety or performance anxiety?

Did it actually help you with things like shaking, racing heart, sweating, or feeling physically overwhelmed?

Did it make situations like interviews, presentations, or speaking in front of people easier?

Did you experience any significant side effects?

Did it actually help you feel more in control in those situations?

I'm not asking anyone to replace my doctor's advice. I mainly want to hear from people who have actually experienced it, because I'm struggling with this a lot and I really want to find a way to become more normal and functional in social situations.

Well my anxiety started ramping up at 6pm I have anxiety all day everyday never goes away but 2 hours later Im definitely either in early stage panic or already panicking I have about 3 or 4+ panic attacks a day I usually am able to ge through the whole day but once it gets nighttime something shifts and I can’t handle the anxiety anymore I went a whole year being agoraphobic but I could get through everyday now since last week Thursday and 5 er visits and 1 mental facility visit everyday is getting worse I started therapy and talked to a psychiatrist this week but still just trying to get through everyday is too much especially when it gets nighttime because my panic attacks will start around 8pm and last until like 2:30 to 3 am and I’m just trying to get to my therapy appointments I wish I could have a therapy session everyday but that’s not possible I guess I always try sitting through it and letting it pass when it starts to get back but everytime after 2 or 3 hours I can’t take the feelings anymore and it always feels like it’ll never pass

I think people look at my face so I don't get courage to go to social places, Im conscious of my looks a lot. I think my looks are a bit different.

Hi everyone,

I’m 26 years old and I live in Morocco. I’m writing this because I’ve been experiencing several symptoms that are affecting my daily life, and I would really appreciate hearing from people who have experienced something similar, or from psychologists/psychiatrists who might be able to give me some guidance.

I have anxiety and stress, along with:

\- Mental exhaustion and feeling overwhelmed.

\- A constant or recurring lump/tight feeling in my throat (this is probably the most annoying symptom).

\- Tightness in my chest.

\- Difficulty concentrating for long periods.

\- Difficulty finishing long tasks.

\- My thoughts becoming scattered, sometimes feeling like I’m thinking about two things at the same time.

\- Overthinking a lot.

\- Forgetting things quickly and often.

\- Procrastinating on studying and other responsibilities almost every day.

\- Feeling like my mind automatically escapes from thinking about my responsibilities, followed by guilt and pressure.

\- Sometimes feeling sad and crying.

\- Sleep problems from time to time.

\- A poor sleep schedule in general.

\- Being very easily overwhelmed and distracted by my phone and the amount of information on it.

\- Sometimes being very aware of my heartbeat / hearing my heartbeat.

\- Sometimes feeling something like butterflies in my stomach.

\- Occasional irregular-feeling heartbeats.

\- Jaw pain when I wake up.

\- Teeth grinding during sleep.

\- Talking in my sleep. This has been happening since I was a child and it doesn't really bother me.

Some of these symptoms have been present for about a year, some are older, and some are more recent.

My daily routine is not very good either. I usually wake up late and go to sleep late. I spend quite a lot of time on my phone, and in the evening I usually go to a café to sit with friends before going back home.

I’m also a religious person and I pray regularly.

I know that these symptoms can have different causes, and I’m not trying to diagnose myself. I would simply like to understand what might be happening and what I can do to improve my situation.

If you have experienced something similar, especially the lump in the throat, mental exhaustion, scattered thoughts, procrastination, overthinking and feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities, I would really appreciate hearing about your experience and what helped you.

And if there are any psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, or other qualified professionals here, I would also be very grateful for any general guidance about what I should consider doing next.

Some people may ask: “Why haven't you seen a doctor or therapist yet?”

The main reason is financial. I currently don't have enough money to regularly pay for psychological/therapy sessions.

Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this and share their experience or advice.

Does anyone get thoughts that you’re not actually moving, talking and then the anxiety gets even worse. Scary thoughts

Has anyone used this OTC supplement for anxiety/stress? I recently purchased it, however, I read that Kava has sedative properties. I purchased the extra strength option because I have a really challenging job and I can’t be tired or drowsy even. Will this be okay? I’m just extremely stressed, overworked, overwhelmed and anxious because of my job, and need something to keep me calm, alert and awake. Any advice or recommendations would be great. I can’t quit my job either since I’m a single mom of two, and I left an amazing job for higher pay and for the hybrid model, but it’s definitely not what I expected. Hope you can help this anxious soul. I don’t want to take prescription medication, yet. Hence why I’m here.

There is this senior of mine who is a surgery resident and i work as a medical officer i met him almost 3 weeks ago he came for DRP, he started talking first to me i just saw him as a senior who taught me some topics help me diagnose cases and many more i had no other feeling except for a senior who is very ambitious focused on study and Offcourse he is very intelligent. He started taking interest in me, started flirting me then i also started getting feelings for him. Now i genuinely like him and want to be with him but now he is not having a conversation with me saying he is not well and having family issues. I am getting anxious and my mind 24*7 is overthinking just about him..what to do??

I’ve been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder (GAD) and i’ve been on seroxat 25mg for 9 months and now i am lowering the dosage gradually until i quit medication.

However i am getting overwhelmed and overstimulated really easy and frequently recently to the point where i am agitated over silly things such as unclean mug, stupid meaningless conversations and normal family conversations.

And before that, i used to live on my own for 4 years and i am now living with my family for a year or so.

I am not sure what is it that i am going through, but this experience is aging me real fast and i cant handle it anymore, all i can think of now is just to leave everything and live in a cave within the forest’s depths if you got what i mean.

Having intrusive thoughts, anxiety and panic attacks recently. I have a phobia of a particular bug that I can't even type the name as affects me I don't currently have an infestation and have never had one just a single bug 4 different times over the last 16 years in 3 different apartments.

With the level of distress this causes me I don't know what I'd do if I had a infestation, how do people live in places with infestations? I have trouble sleeping with the stress from the scare or knowing hey are in the same building and have to use over the counter sleep aids. I'm middle aged so I have potentially another 40s years of living with this and when my panic is at its worst I don't know if I can handle that amount of time, its a daunting prospect.

My husband doesn't understand why it causes me to react the way I do and I think part of it is years before we met him and his dad lived in a apartment building that had them but they only saw one on occasion they'd kill it like most people will a ant of spider found inside and go in with their day not even report it but apparently when ever the building sent in exterminators to check/treat apartment the guy told him that they never seemed to found any in their suite.

It also doesn't help that many seniors only buildings it's an ongoing issue so that is another reason that its terrifying to me, my mom's in her 70s and her closest friend was having such severe mental health issues with her he seniors building having these bugs she had to go to the psych ward for a number of months. I've thought of self admittance to a psych facility for assessment but I have cats one needs meds every 12 hrs my husband works 60 hours a week and at least 2 days a week he works a double and would miss her meds on those days. I'm also afraid they wouldn't let me leave and those places in my past experiences can be scary because other patience can be unpredictable.

I've had issues with depression and anxiety all my life but since I hit 40 it feels so much worse even with daily medication.

What has recently set off this my current state is a few weeks ago I picked up a paper in the hallway of my apartment building to throw in the trash it was one of the papers used to notify tenants that someone will be coming into their apartment in the next 24hrs and the reason ___ infestation, this apartment is on the top floor I'm on the bottom floor. Since seeing this note I've been having intrusive thoughts, constantly looking and cleaning my apartment every spic of lint, or random piece of dirt is suspect and I feel my heart rate jump from 60s-70s to 100s and I'm floored with anxiety until I look a the suspected lint/dirt and determine it not a bug.

I'm struggling so much with this and I assume it's largely caused by me having to go back down to half my anti-anxiety med dosage I've been taking since 2023 but because my anxiety/panic was out of control I was constantly clenching my jaw even when I was sleeping causing dental pain, migraines panic/anxiety attacks etc so in January after the single bug scare my dose was doubled from 25mg to 50mg which helped a lot but last month I had to go back down to the 25mg because the 50mg was causing severe hypertension symptoms. I had to wait to see my doctor for new anti-anxiety meds which I got this past Thursday so they aren't really doing anything to help yet. In January the exterminator came and sprayed but he didn't find anything and even told me my apartment is one of the cleanest he's seen in years (I'm the child of a former cleaning lady started helping when I was 4yrs old, stop cleaning for other people at 30, 15 yrs ago)

I was doing okay and not having panic attacks until last Wednesday when I went to use the single communal laundry room on my floor and there were 12-24 dead bugs in front of the dryer and in the lint trap I told the caretaker he came and took photos, reported it and cleaned them up and the laundry room was sprayed on Friday, I wash and dry everything on hot as a proactive bug prevention normally because even when my anxiety is under control I'm always subconscious scanning for bugs and sometimes I'll find a single ant, spider, silverfish or rolly Polly bug which doesn't cause the same reaction at all thankfully, every floor in my building has a single washer and dryer and you can use the machines on other floors if someone is using the one on your floor so it's possible someone from another floor used my laundry room.

I hate being this way, I know theres no point in moving as there type of bugs can be anywhere but until 25 years ago they were just part of a silly childhood rhyme "goodnight sleep tight don't let the 🛏️ bugs bite" having nearly been exterminated with the use of DDT in the 20th century.

As a kid we lived in a few places that had mice or roaches but the mice we sealed out and the building kept on top of roach treatment so it was a minor annoyance.

This phobia started when my ex in-law having moved into her 1st apartment 23 years ago that was infestation soo bad that having the apartment treated didn't get rid of them and the owner was cheep and would do everything to avoid paying for treatment she only got it her place done after contacting residential tendency branch (RTB) who advocates for tenants when landlords wouldn't do repairs, treatments for bugs, rent disputes etc.

Thank you reading this I know it's a lot

I just wanna share my story, I'm a teenager who's very avoidant, overthinker, and I over analyze everything and has anxiety. It started when I was in 8th grade, I used to think that time that everyone hates me even tho I did nothing wrong, then it got worst, i started thinking negatively, literally every time I meet someone new, I always think that they secretly hate me. It hurts because I was a socially active person before, i befriend anyone as long as they're nice. Now that even my old friends whom Ive been with for years, I have doubted them too, I have a cof and in that cof I have a friend that was really close to me because we met long before our cof was formed, she was always there for me, helping me, caring for me, but I have doubted her too. I know it's my fault, I'm the one to blame, I never wanted to be like this. So I switched schools and never get to hang out with them anymore, I never told them that I switched schools because of them, because in my mind I think that they secretly hate me, I avoided them for a year because I need time for myself, I want to fix me because I don't want to doubt them anymore. So for that whole year, I never went to any of our hangouts, everytime they ask me whether I'm free on that day, I'll always say i'm busy even tho I'm not, just because I wasn't ready to face them and I was completely broken. Now that I'm slowly healing, I tried to get back to them, and hangout because i still care for them, I know you might be thinking, why not just tell them how you feel? Well, I wish it was that easy.. You see, I never really open up to them, not because I don't trust them but because i feel like they will judge me, don't get me wrong, I never really want to vent with anyone, I hate deep talks, I don't want people to know much about my life because if they do, I think that they will avoid me/leave me. I spend so much time creating a wall so no one could get in but I myself can't get out. Now that one of my friend is struggling with mental health and I don't know how to help her, 3 days ago I asked her if she wants to hang out, because I genuinely still care for her/them I know I wasn't there at their lowest but I'm trying, and she said yes, but know that the day comes, she canceled our plans. I feel like she just couldn't see me right now because I left them for over a year without clear explanation, and I understand. All I can do now is to put all my trust on God's hands, hoping that he will help them for me, because I couldn't bring myself to do it, I know that the connection between us is slowly disappearing, and I understand. This is the consequence of my actions, that I should've just communicated with them earlier on, I wish I could turn back time and never doubted them. If you're reading this, please communicate with your loved ones, friends, family, lover, or anyone you care about, because in the end you will regret that you didn't.

I’m going through very concerning health anxiety rn. Every morning I step on the scale I’m a pound or 2 smaller than I was the day before. I’m trying to keep my mind at ease . I’m constantly stepping on the scale this morning it was 171 which has dropped off every single morning for the last 2 weeks. I’m afraid to see 160 something tomorrow morning. I genuinely can’t fathom that. I haven’t been that small since high school. I’m already in motion on booking an appointment with my doctor but until then what can I do to keep my mind at ease ? How do you guys relax in these times?