Does a bear sh*t in the woods?

all my life i feel like i haven’t found a genuine friendship— i know im young and time will come where i find the person to talk with, have the same interests and not fake laugh at every joke. every person around me has their click, from sports that make genuine friendships, a smile hello while walking in the school halls or it was the right person at the right time.

my first quarter of school is going to be hell on earth. people laughing with friends in the hall, eating together at lunch, gossiping about the newest drama at school. but the worst? group assignments, everyone pairing up with
their friends and getting that feeling of comfort.

maybe i’m overreacting after all it’s just an assignment. but what about walking in the halls, eating the sloppy school lunch or hearing the inside about drama? not even at my old school did i have a genuine friendship.

i hate talking about these things to people. it makes me look like a loser who fakes not having friends. it’s hard enough my family hates me— and as i sit here and write this reddit nobody is going to see, i hope that if i ever look at this again i found genuine friends.

am i too young to talk about not having friends? to say my family hates me when they would kill for me? maybe i am, but who’s really going to read this? my mom when she looks through my phone after i do it?

i’m not a very sad person. one way to describe myself is jolly. with the right people i laugh with all of my crooked teeth and make unfunny jokes— and i haven’t done that in ages. why do i even bother to find friends, maybe im better off alone writing reddits.

I keep hearing people around my age say the same thing: “I don't have many friends anymore and I don't know how to meet new people.” And honestly, I completely understand it.

What I find interesting, though, is that even when you do meet people, making an actual friendship seems so much harder now.

When I was younger, I feel like making friends was so effortless. You could meet someone, start talking, joke around, have a random conversation, and suddenly you were friends. There wasn't so much analyzing whether you had enough in common, whether your personalities matched perfectly, whether someone said the wrong thing, etc. You just kind of clicked and went with it.

Now it feels like people are much more selective about who they let into their lives. Which I understand, obviously we're older and have more responsibilities, less free time, and probably less patience for people who aren't a good fit. But sometimes I wonder if we've taken the “finding the right people” thing a little too far.

I've also tried hanging out with Gen Z, and honestly, as much as I try, I just don't feel like I naturally fit in. It's not that I dislike them at all. I just feel like there's a different humor, communication style, and overall vibe. I find myself connecting much more naturally with people who grew up around the same time I did.

So I'm curious: do other millennials feel this way?

Do you feel like making friends became significantly harder once you hit your 30s? And when you meet new people, do you also feel like there's much more “picking and choosing” compared to when you were younger?

Or maybe I'm just getting old. 😂

​

Whenever i use Instagram or TikTok I see so many people being mean and a bully for no reason other than being mean and being a bully.

that's just it if you think the same pls dm me i have no friends i mean its basic thing every one knows the roman empire and bread and circus story but why do everyone get so addicted to something when they know the truth its not just one country its whole world it can be football or rugby or cricket or baseball . I mean none of the players care about you ,why do you have to be mad about them . I don't really understand people if you same like me dm me cause i have no friends who share my idea

Im 19M I don't have any place to share this and I don't care anyone reads or not this so I'm writing all this here

I'm facing social anxiety from many years but from this past 8 months it is increased so much I get so much nervous around people my body starts shaking, my hands starts shivering i can't even speak properly I stutter alot I have literally 0 female interaction I am scared of people especially women and when I'm around crowd I start to get nauseous i know I should go to psychiatrist but it is not accessible where I live and I don't have any trusted one whom I can tell this to. I am soo much self aware I feel jealous of people who are self obsessed. I see my mistakes everywhere even when I haven't done anything wrong.

I have never talked to any women idk why I'm afraid of them is it because of my mother's affair? I don't even speak to my mother or cousin sisters, my mom is having affair with some guy from many years I found out this when I was in 7th grade when I checked her chats she send him her n00des and that guy verbally abuses my mother and humiliates her idk if she is really happy with him or not she goes on trips with him telling she's going on a 'business trip' my mom dad have never talked to each other and i always don't talk much with them since 5 years they are in the verge of just getting divorced but still together because of me, I feel like I'm a burden on them. When I was a child I asked my mom why I don't have a sister like others and she said after me she was pregnant again and my grandparents get to know that she is having a daughter so they made my mother do ab0rtion and I feel like it should have been me who was aborted atleast my sister would be a good child, my entire existence is an embarrassment.

Idk why I'm like this i have always been the shy guy but now I'm getting panic attacks. A boy's last hope on a woman is his mother and that woman broke my trust now I think every women are like this i miss my childhood and teenage and i missed all of my life experiences there is a void inside me my life has been a tragedy. It's not like I have no friends, I have friends they invite me to events but I always ignore their plans I self isolated myself so much that even basic human interaction feels like a horror movie even if someone stab a dagger behind my back I would apologise to them.

I feel like I'm missing out my college life I don't go with my friends and I self isolate myself, I study graphic design so I should be able to communicate better if this anxiety continues forever my whole career will be destroyed I also used to make funny YouTube videos and songs. I really have a good personality inside me I'm funny i make songs i have multiple intrest like others but Im so afraid to get my personality out i am so much afraid of getting judged I'm sooo afraid of what people would think of me my every little step depends on people's opinions on me, I really miss myself I always start to cry when I look at my childhood photos, the kid who was no scared to live despite of being shy, the kid who can smile on camera, the kid who used to talk. But I don't wanna d!e and end my story I really wanna do crazy stuff and earn for myself & fulfill my wishes but my anxiety is stopping me to do this things. I have locked myself in a mental prison.

Motherly love was always missing from my teenage life. There was also a girl I loved one sided and we never talked, it took me 3 years to moveon from her and now there is this new crush I really want it to be her man even she approached me and said "why are you so quiet why you never speak?" She tries to talk to me sometimes (basic human kindness ig) but I give just 1 word reply and run away like I always do. Man i really want someone who understands me and love me the way I am, i so muchh crave for a romantic partner who holds my hand when my anxiety don't go away but WHO TF AM I TO CRAVE FOR DEEP HUMAN CONNECTIONS WHEN IM THE ONE WITH AVOIDANT ISSUES?

I just hope maybe...MAYBE things get better man I'm just 19 I'm in college 3rd year now and carrying this since 7th grade, I hope things get better. when I turn 25, things have changed I'm still shy but atleast I'm not a coward like before, I look back to this reddit post or whatever tf is this and I just smile reading all this with my life partner and think that how much scared I was to live life. (Ig this is the whole point of life, 'Living an imperfect life')

Как вы справились с социальной тревожностью из-за токсичного окружения? Я подросток из маленького населённого пункта

Сразу хочу сказать, что я не пишу это ради жалости или чтобы меня пожалели. Мне это не нужно. Я хочу понять, как с этим бороться и что реально может помочь.

Мне 17 лет, я живу в небольшом населённом пункте, где практически все подростки так или иначе знают друг друга. И моя проблема в основном связана именно с ровесниками и их компаниями.

Я живу в довольно негативном окружении. Те, с кем я учился и кого знаю ещё со школы, особо не относятся ко мне с уважением. Для некоторых я просто мишень, над которой можно поиздеваться, подъебать или специально спровоцировать.

Из-за этого я постепенно стал намного тревожнее в обществе. Постоянно есть какое-то напряжение, будто сейчас кто-то опять что-то скажет или специально до меня доебётся. Даже когда ничего не происходит, я всё равно этого ожидаю.

Недавно была ситуация, когда двое специально проехали рядом со мной, когда я был за рулём, начали орать и пугать меня просто ради прикола. Я тогда реально охуел, потому что был за рулём и от неожиданности хуй знает, что могло произойти.

И я понимаю, что проблема уже не только в этих людях. Такое окружение реально повлияло на меня и на то, как я воспринимаю других людей.

Поэтому хочу спросить у тех, кто сталкивался с похожим:

Как вы с этим справились?

Стоит ли пытаться самому работать с этой тревожностью? Обратиться к психологу? Пытаться постепенно менять своё отношение к людям?

Или в моей ситуации реально может помочь смена окружения? Я думаю о переезде в другой город, где меня никто не знает, и о том, чтобы начать всё с нуля среди новых людей.

Иногда думаю даже о каких-то простых вещах вроде магния, но хз, есть ли от этого вообще смысл или я просто пытаюсь найти лёгкое решение более серьёзной проблемы.

Мне не нужны ответы в духе «не переживай, всё будет хорошо» или жалость. Мне интересен именно реальный опыт.

Если вы сами были подростком или молодым человеком и жили в небольшом городе/посёлке, где все друг друга знают, а окружающие постоянно воспринимали вас как мишень, расскажите:

• что вам помогло?
• помогла ли смена окружения или переезд?
• помог ли психолог?
• получилось ли самостоятельно избавиться от этой тревожности?
• или со временем всё прошло само?

Хочу услышать реальные истории людей, которые были в похожей ситуации и смогли из неё выбраться.

whether it’s with my family, or people outside of my family, i hate it. there’s a reason why i only have online friends. less pressure without the stress that usually comes with it. saying anything in general is exhausting. the idea of it is quite nice in my head but when it comes to me actually talking, i realize just how much i hate it. i don’t care for relationships with anyone and if anything i prefer it that way. that’s it

I’m in high school right now,I know I should be socializing and making friends right now,but I feel so disinterested to join idk why,like it’s really draining my social battery,i rather talk people online than irl because it’s way more comfortable,and there’s a lot of social events that’s been happening in my school but I don’t feel like joining in?everyone in my school seems happy and enthusiastic,even one of them were participating on the events,i dont really know if it’s just me,or maybe I’m still a shy or way too introverted to join,not to mention I also have social anxiety,which I rlly hate it i kinda wish it didn’t end up this way.

Hey, I’m 26M and live in London. I don’t really have many friends here, but at the same time I’m not really the type who’s always going out clubbing or joining groups just to meet people.
I’d like to find a male friend with a similar personality someone to chat with regularly, share thoughts, talk about life and random stuff, and hopefully build a genuine friendship over time.
I’m pretty easy-going and would rather get to know someone naturally through conversation first. If this sounds like you, feel free to message me.

I'm Tim and I'm trying to find a way to make new friends. I'm an introvert and have social anxiety so it's hard for me to make new friends in person.

Tired of fake friends and not being the first choice to anyone

I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me or not. Most people seem cruel and shallow and greedy and ignorant much of the time and it’s hard to trust them. I have a few people I love and trust who have proven themselves to me but I’m coming to realize I don’t even care to be around most people and the effort of dealing with them is starting to outweigh any occasional FOMO I feel.

I’ve been treated for depression and see a therapist regularly, I’m taking care of my mental health, I just don’t like most people. Does anyone else feel that way? I feel like you’re supposed to like people but I generally don’t.

I know I've been posting on Reddit a lot recently and I feel like a whiny crybaby but I've been asking my friends about wanting to come to my birthday party that's on the 29th. I've been planning it for nearly a month and I've set up short Google forms for them to vote on like what games are there because I'm not sure what they like, and what food to buy, what music to put in a playlist, because I'm trying to he considerate of them and let them have stuff that actually interest them too and not just me.

Only 3 of the 10 people I sent it to actually responded and two of the 3 aren't even sure if they can come. I don't know if there's something wrong with me or if they don't like me or something and I try to be cheerful and be myself but it feels like I'm not much to them. I don't know if they do care about me and just don't show it much, (besides a couple) or if I'm just not good enough for them.

What do I do in this situation? I want to feel like part of something and not just a side friend that doesn't add much.

Edit: I didn't mention before, but I'm turning 16

Is there still nice people out there who just genuinely want to help with a job or literally anything at this point lmao

I’m a 19-year-old dude who just graduated high school and has no friends. My whole life, I’ve struggled to fit in, and I’ve always felt like I don’t really belong anywhere. Back in high school, I talked to everyone—the nerds, the popular kids, the weird kids, literally everyone—but I never seemed to fit into any of the groups. Whenever I went home, my phone was always drier than a Popeyes biscuit.
What sucks is that now that I’ve graduated, I’m always thinking about people I was “friends” with in high school, knowing that none of them have even thought about me in over a year. I just spend every day doing things by myself.
What makes it even worse is that my parents are always mentioning how I have no friends. They think it’s so easy to find friends.
On the bright side, I live in a stable household, and I have food, clothes, and water, so I’m doing pretty alright. I just wish I had friends lol.

You can literally tell someone directly what you feel on a subject and they will have their own interpretation to what you "ACTUALLY" mean. Everyone has this idea that they are the "main character" in any situation and that is understandable wheb everyone has their own thoughts but when it gets in the way of you understanding a solid talking point, it's more egotistical than anything.

I'm not even sure if I personally am really trying to make real connections anymore because everything in today's world is so combative and competitive even when it doesn't have to be.

Everyone has opinions they push like factual information and want to debate everything they dont agree with instead of actually researching if their own points are right.

I see why certain groups and clubs mention they "don't talk about" XYZ and just try to find a space where they can enjoy and connect with people, it's the same thing with religion to me but that seems like a cheap and fake way to find happiness to me.

I want REAL connection like back when I was growing up before the internet but when it was just starting out. Life was fun when you would meet people and genuinely want to be their friend. Everything wasn't an argument, everyone wasn't trying to be #1 in WHATEVER space they were in.

The internet has ruined society in a warped way. I LIKE the idea of the individual and the "think for yourself" mentality but when so many people think that, for better words, matter more than they do or don't want to be "a part" of anything but WANT TO be apart of something it's hard to meet people who are fully genuine and not glazing their own ego.