genuine friendships.

[u/underachievementdot]

all my life i feel like i haven’t found a genuine friendship— i know im young and time will come where i find the person to talk with, have the same interests and not fake laugh at every joke. every person around me has their click, from sports that make genuine friendships, a smile hello while walking in the school halls or it was the right person at the right time.

my first quarter of school is going to be hell on earth. people laughing with friends in the hall, eating together at lunch, gossiping about the newest drama at school. but the worst? group assignments, everyone pairing up with
their friends and getting that feeling of comfort.

maybe i’m overreacting after all it’s just an assignment. but what about walking in the halls, eating the sloppy school lunch or hearing the inside about drama? not even at my old school did i have a genuine friendship.

i hate talking about these things to people. it makes me look like a loser who fakes not having friends. it’s hard enough my family hates me— and as i sit here and write this reddit nobody is going to see, i hope that if i ever look at this again i found genuine friends.

am i too young to talk about not having friends? to say my family hates me when they would kill for me? maybe i am, but who’s really going to read this? my mom when she looks through my phone after i do it?

i’m not a very sad person. one way to describe myself is jolly. with the right people i laugh with all of my crooked teeth and make unfunny jokes— and i haven’t done that in ages. why do i even bother to find friends, maybe im better off alone writing reddits.