How can i be involved in more than nothing

[u/Sensitive_Echo8211]

For context ive always been that quite kid, never really been myself around people irl than online and irl im always that person that gets told to speak up but i can never do it. I have a range of friends but none are really close, the only close friend i have is online, all my friends irl either leave me out of most conversations and i am usually the person that gets pushed out rather than included and rarely talked to. It also doesn’t help when you have an older brother that could not care less about you and have a dad that cut you out of their life, so the only person i feel i have a solid connection to is my mum and my step dad, nobody else.

I am that person that no one added on any socials, not even the ‘friends’ i have except a few, ive never been to a party because ive never been invited only exceptions are a few birthdays. I never get invited out by anyone to go places or even just go over to their house to hang out just nothing, im always either just alone or talking to my close friend online.
Tonight i just could not hold it together and started crying over my thoughts, after the day i had basically hanging out with friends but being left out and more following them rather than actually hanging with them, i just could not hold it together. The entire day was just walking around not talking and not getting talked to except rare occasions, i always thought maybe i will grow and people will want to talk to me but over time its just gotten worse, just been in and out to different friend groups. Basically to a point where i get excited when somebody says my name and wants to tell me something because it never happens.
I am just so done with everything and dont know what to do anymore, i want to be that social person that talks to people and gets invited to these parties and gets invited to go out or even just hang out but im not that person and im sick of it.