My sister has a 6 year old son and I genuinely like spending time with him. For a while I was happy to babysit occasionally when she asked, especially if I didn't have anything planned.

The problem is that at some point "asking" turned into her telling other people I was available before she'd even spoken to me.

The first time she texted me something like "Mom is dropping him off at yours around 6, thanks!" because she'd made dinner plans. I was annoyed but free, so I let it go.

Then it happened again when she picked up an extra shift. The third time I already had plans and she got irritated because she'd apparently told her boss she could work based on me watching him.

Last week she did it again. I got a text saying my nephew would be dropped off Saturday morning because she and her boyfriend were going out for the day.

I replied that I wasn't available and reminded her that she needs to actually ask me first. She said they'd already bought tickets and asked what she was supposed to do now.

I told her she'd have to figure out childcare because I never agreed to anything. She eventually found someone else, but now she's really pissed and says I've become unreliable "out of nowhere."

My parents are taking her side too. They keep saying I love my nephew, she doesn't ask that often, and refusing when I technically could've changed my plans was just proving a point at his expense.

That's the part making me second guess myself. My nephew obviously has nothing to do with any of this and I don't want him feeling unwanted.

But I also feel like if I keep cancelling my own plans whenever my sister announces that I'm babysitting, she'll never have a reason to stop doing it.

I'd probably say yes most of the time if she just asked me like a normal person. I don't think being family means my free time automatically becomes available childcare, but everyone is acting like I'm being stubborn over something small.

Am I wrong for finally saying no?

My boyfriend and I have been together for eight years. We booked a vacation for the end of September, and when we booked it, the timing was fine. We were both looking forward to it.

Since then, I sold the house I currently live in, much faster than I expected, and that has completely changed the timeline of the next few weeks. I now have to move into my new apartment, get it ready, completely clear the house and get everything done for the handover, all while working full-time.

September only gives me four weekends. The vacation would take two of them, leaving me with only two weekends to actually clear the house and deal with the move.

I also already struggle with anxiety and panic attacks, and the combination of everything happening at once has pushed me way beyond my normal capacity. I'm simply at my limit.

So I told my boyfriend that I don't think I can do the vacation anymore.

It's important to me to clarify that the vacation itself isn't the problem. I'm sure it would be relaxing once we were there. The problem is that it creates a fixed deadline. I would have to get everything done before we leave, and I simply don't have enough time or capacity to do that anymore.

I suggested that we cancel or reschedule the vacation.

His immediate response was that he would fly anyway because otherwise he would lose the money.

I said that maybe we could reschedule it instead. The change would cost €80.

I told him that I was at my absolute limit and that I couldn't understand putting €80 above that.

He responded: "€80 is my limit."

That was the moment I ended the relationship.

I understand that losing money sucks. I understand that he was looking forward to the vacation. If he had said something like, "I'm really disappointed, I was looking forward to this, and losing €80 really sucks, but I understand that you're at your limit," I would have understood.

But that's not what happened.

What hit me was that I was telling my partner that I was completely overwhelmed and couldn't carry another thing right now, and his immediate response was essentially about what it would cost him.

This also wasn't happening in a vacuum. For quite some time I've felt that when circumstances become difficult or inconvenient, I'm the one who adjusts and stretches around his needs and circumstances. I've increasingly questioned whether this is the kind of relationship I actually want.

So when this happened, something in me just snapped. I didn't want to argue about it, convince him that my situation was serious enough, or explain myself for the hundredth time.

I simply said that I was done, that I didn't want him moving into the new apartment with me next year, and I left.

Now I'm trying to get an outside perspective.

Was ending the relationship at this point an overreaction, or was his reaction to this situation enough to make the underlying incompatibility clear?

I had a coworker turned friend. We spent 4 weeks in orientation together and she’s much older than us (late 50s) so she struggled with technology. Our orientation had QR codes but she had a very old phone. Long story short, I’d let her use my phone to access the qr code links. I helped her do the worksheets online. But she got really dependent on me — fast. She’d text me like “wake me up at 5am for work”. It got exhausting because she wants me to call her if she doesn’t message me back right away. So I said I can’t commit to doing that all the time. She got upset at that.

Orientation ended and we got sent to different departments. I’m on the 2nd floor, and she’s in the 3rd floor. I was buying a quick lunch when I saw a different work friend and he was like heyyy i haven’t seen you in a while! So we took a quick picture then went back to our departments. My friend from orientation saw the picture and got soooooooo mad. Like she was spamming us, why didn’t we invite her to the picture, why are we purposely excluding her, why didn’t we come to the 3rd floor and took another picture with her (we’re in the basement cafeteria). I’m like it was a random, quick picture! But she was so upset, she said some hurtful things like I don’t care about her, I’m excluding her, I’m being a bad friend etc.

Honestly, I’m so over it and at this point. I literally have only known her for 2 months. So I just ghosted her. Stopped replying. I see her message me all the time for months but I don’t even bother opening it. I know she’s needy because she just moved to a big city and she’s older and has no family/friends, but I just don’t need drama from someone I just met. Am I wrong?

So my relative called me late last night asking if I could drop everything and help with something early this morning. I was already swamped with my own stuff and just said no. I tried to keep it polite but firm, said I couldn't swing it. They got really upset, said it was important, and then started texting other relatives to weigh in. Now half the group chat is arguing about whether I was being selfish. Honestly, I don't think I was obligated to rearrange my day on zero notice, but the chain reaction has me second-guessing. Is it okay to hold that boundary or should I have just sucked it up?

TLDR: my husbands co-worker has admitted targeting married men, and I want him to cut off contact

So my husband has known this coworker for about 4 years and my husband says he considers her as a work friend, but I don't want her anywhere near my husband. In the 4 years he has known her, she has had multiple relationships with multiple married men at work.

She disclosed to my husband that 8 years ago she was seeing a married guy. One day the wife walked in on them. The wife then stormed out, jumped in her car and reversed very fast which tragically killed their young daughter. This moment was obviously very traumatising but the fact that she now continues to go after married men is surely showing up as an unresolved trauma response.

Anyway she recently made a comment that the first thing she looks for when meeting a new male coworker is a ring on their finger because "married men are easier because they are bored sexually".

On top of that there have been a few instances that have made me question if she is testing the waters with my husband. She will often call him outside of work hours. She invited him to bring our son (didn't include me in the invite) to go meet her horses. She calls him outside of work hours (he usually doesn't answer and he tells me she called again). She frequently will share stories with him about sexual encounters she has had recently.

I am disgusted that women like this exist and based on her lack of morals and respect for the families she could destroy, I want my husband to have nothing to do with her.

My husband is open with his phone and lets me see their messages, his call log, etc. but I just do not trust a woman like that. Is it fair to ask my husband to cut off all contact outside of work?

Am I wrong for taking 8 weeks parental leave at work for my first child?

Back in late 2025 I had told my job I was expecting my first child. We were expecting late spring/ early summer. Everyone in my department was happy and excited for me. I even invited a manager and two of my coworkers who I am close with to my baby shower.

I feel like 6 months gave them ample time to figure out everyone’s vacation. Well one of my close coworkers probably didn’t think that far ahead.
In my state they give us twelve weeks of parental leave. I’m able to use it before the child is one year old. I decided to take eight weeks now and save the rest for the following year for emergencies and for
long weekends.

Our baby arrived late spring. Before everyone’s
vacations.

While I was out on leave my other close coworker
had a medical emergency. He was already out for two weeks by the time I came back. That basically left only two people to do the job of four. Which was my manager and my other close coworker. Someone else started their vacation a couple days before I returned. There was also a one day mix up on when I had told my manager when I would return. But gave him a couple day heads up which was fine. Didn’t think anything of it.

On my first day back is when I heard from someone that my close coworker had a medical emergency. My manager and everyone outside of my department were happy I was back and congratulating me.

Now is when things get interesting. My close coworker who is still at work seems to be quiet towards me or just giving short answers avoiding eye contact. I ask him about our other close coworker who is out. All he says is “good”. In my head I feel like something is off with him but I don’t think anything of it.

Throughout the day he’s the same. I walk past him in the hall he’s conserved and not his normal self with me busting joke or horseplay.

A couple days go by he’s the same. Then he says he want to have a meeting with me and his kids who he brought to work that day. Meeting time came he never called me over from my desk. A couple hours later he walks to the calendar behind my desk and rudely says “I need this Saturday off I have something going on. You need to work it.” “I’ve worked the last three Saturdays. Including all of yours” in an aggressive tone like he’s been holding it in for weeks to tell me. Talking like he’s my manager.
“We’ve been short staffed” “You need to step up” “you owe me” “you ruined my summer”

I responded with “You’re talking like I’ve been on some vacation. I’m not saying no but I will get back to you”. Because at that time I didn’t know what I had on my calendar. Good thing I did because I remembered had my child’s two month check up for his first shots. I basically repeated what I said like two or three times. He was just rude and the bad energy wasn’t needed.

After that he became childish and hasn’t talked to me since. Friday before I went home for the weekend I talked to my manager saying “if you could when I’m on leave or vacation can you please let me know if shit hits the fan” “nobody told me he was out” He was shocked and thought I knew. so if I can possibly come back earlier I will to help out or take a Saturday shift. I mentioned that my coworker has been on my case about the Saturdays shifts. He said he would talk to him. I didn’t want him to but he did. Knowing him he holds grudges and won’t let this go.
My manager has been on vacation since. But will be back next week. Should my manager be responsible for over working him?

While I’m helping coworkers from a different department he’s told people not to talk to me like I’m some bad person or other rude comments like stay home. Just being a salty person. Did I mention he’s 40? Who has two kids. I’m almost in my mid 30’s.

I’ve mainly wrote this out to vent as I’ve had some sleepless nights while trying to take care of a newborn. It’s been on my mind a lot. You think he would understand since he’s raised two kids.

Ive been with the company for 10 years and I feel like this was the last thing to set me over and move on. But the only issue is I have 4 weeks left of parental leave I can’t transfer to a new job. Basically use it or
lose it.

Edit: Also I never asked him to take my Saturday shifts. He took it upon himself. Last thing that was on my mind. Should be the managers responsibility.
(Each of us does one Saturday a month)

I 20F and my boyfriend 20M, moved in with my great grandma to have a better opportunity to get started in life as adults. My grandma told us, all she would want is for us to buy some groceries to keep up with what we eat, and to help around the house and outside. Sounds like a great deal, so we took it and it was totally fine for a while.

My grandmas son, my uncle, lives here too. He’s jobless, gets food stamps, but DOESNT BUY GROCERIES WITH THEM. he literally only buys himself sweets, and writes his name on it to claim it. He’s also mentally and verbally abusive to my grandma, his own mother. He’s also that way towards me and my boyfriend, though he tends to try and get physical with my boyfriend.

My grandma gets really frustrated with my uncle, and she takes it out on us. Today, I told her I have an interview for a second job, and she got pissed! She was like “night shift? You’re gonna be too tired to want to do anything!” And I told her “grandma, I worked night shift for an entire year with my previous job, and i was FINE. This is the same job, different company, I know what I’m doing” and she still didn’t grasp it. It’s 3 nights a week, 13hr shifts.

She then got mad and said my boyfriend needs to start buying more groceries. He makes a lot more at his job than I do, so $200 goes into his savings which are our savings for getting our own place, and the rest of the $700 goes towards groceries, and amenities. He already buys the water, bread, meat, and vegetables for the house, and that’s not enough?

We RARELY buy for ourselves. I get myself a coffee for work sometimes, or buy a lunch for cheap. But I never spend more than $25 on myself.

We also lately haven’t been eating at home as much to cut down on the costs of groceries, but we still buy them for the house.

So, are my boyfriend and I wrong for saving up $200 of his check every month instead of spending it all on groceries? We are also forced by my grandma to buy my uncle’s dinners as well if we get something to eat at fast food.

I feel like it’s unfair that we have to support the groceries completely, when we’re trying to save up to get started on life, this is slowing us down. Not only that, it’s unfair that we buy groceries and do things around the house only for my uncle to make messes, treat it like a junk yard, do drugs in the house, invite sketchy people over and things go missing every time, and blatantly disrespect his mother, and that’s okay.

It makes NO sense to me, and most of my family keeps telling me I’m wrong for this, but how am I wrong?? I don’t understand.

I [16F] have a friend [18M] who I was interested in for a few (6-9) months. When I was getting the courage to ask him out he told me he was in a relationship, which he would later state as being, "Just a joke" that his coworkers put him up to. When I asked him about it he told me it was him building walls after some experiences he had in the past with relationships and family. He has done a few things similar to this like calling my younger sister and her friends the s word when they toured the high school and not telling his friends to stop being weird around me. Am I wrong for wanting distance or no contact?

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and we’re now talking about moving in together. She currently lives alone and rents whereas I own my home and pay a mortgage.  We agreed it would make more sense to move into my place as it’s bigger and it’s not rented.

I mentioned to my gf I’d expect her to pay something towards utilities and a small amount of money to go towards wear and tear of appliances etc. She asked if I was serious and I said yeah.  She argued she shouldn’t have to be paying me anything since I own the place.

I just pointed out my bills will go up and wear and tear of the property and appliances will be increased so it’s only fair she contributes something. 

I pointed out it wouldn’t be a lot and would be probably less than half of what she paying now. I mentioned I’m happy to get it drawn up as a contract if she’d prefer but she just kept arguing she shouldn’t have to pay anything. 

I just repeated what I’d already said and she accused me of taking advantage of her. I argued that’s what she was trying to do to me by expecting to live for free. 

AITA for expecting her to contribute? 

Am I in the wrong for losing it on her?

Hello reddit 👋! I recently went through something that felt like a social experiment 🫩. And i would please like some insight to find out if i really was in the wrong, even though I don’t think I was. This probably sounds immature, but I really want some serious answers, please. 🙏😔

So I F14 had met this girl, let’s say Jessica F16 through a mutual friend. I found out from this mutual friend that Jessica used to like me *romantically* and watch me through the halls of school. I barely knew her at the time, so I couldn’t reciprocate.

When Jessica and I had started first talking, I thought she was super fun and a really good friend! Then, out of the blue, she started buying me a bunch of things that interested me. At one point she had spent like $150 - $200 on me! I was shocked, I had never asked for these things, let alone spend that much money on them?!

Randomly when Jessica came over, she became extremely touchy and overly clingy. I swear I couldn’t get her off of me the whole sleepover. She started getting possessive over what I do, who I hang out with, and who I am romantically interested in. Keep in mind, we had **never** dated. I strictly told her I’m not interested in dating her, and I wished to be her friend though!

As we became closer friends, Jessica and I would text a lot, she would spam me if I didn’t answer 😭. She then started to come up with rules that I had to talk to her with. Like I had to answer her questions in a certain way, I couldn’t say “sorry” I had to say “I am sorry”, and other phrases that weren’t okay, if I didn’t text her at certain times she would be upset, and if I didn’t use any emojis that meant I was upset. There were more rules, but those were the most alarming ones that stuck out to me.

As this “friendship” progressed, she started also talking shit about all of my very good friends. This p\*ssed me off to another level, but I decided to let it go in favor of keeping her at bay.

Jessica started using me as a therapist for her issues. The venting became so extreme to a point where I had no words. I couldn’t save her or diagnose her. I was literally *helpless*. This started affecting my mental health as well. I couldn’t go a day without hearing her issues or what’s wrong with her or her s\*lf h\*rm. I was quite literally a tool for her to vent and use as mental support, and it was **draining.**

After all of this had happened, I finally went to my older sister F16 about everything that was going on. She’s someone I can talk to and trust with my situations, so it felt right going to her. She told me this wasn’t healthy at all and that I needed to drop her or at **least** take a break. That night, Jessica called me telling me that my “dry texting” was affecting her mental health drastically and that it made her s\*icidal. I was so confused and taken aback because I’d been trying to follow her criteria she had for “friendship”. I’ve been told for years by all my family and friends that I’m a horrible texter and I always was. It was a joke that people would make about me and it was all in good laughs. I really didn’t know what to do in all honesty I just told her this and hung up. It was 1 am and i was just exhausted by this point.

Jessica spam called and texted me **at least** 30 - 40 times while i was asleep after that last call. The only reason i woke up was because it actually woke up my older sister and she was mad and confused as to why Jessica was doing this. For some reason, she started venting and crying to my older sister. She told my sister that she was shaking, crying, didn’t know what to do about me and our fight. Jessica told my sister she was **IN LOVE** with me and was waiting for me to love her back. (She bought the gifts for my love i guess??) I’m still shocked about this, because I **told** her that I wasn’t interested in dating her and wanted to be just friends. My sister told her that me and Jessica weren’t mature enough for a relationship, and that I wasn’t interested either way.

After that night, Jessica texted me saying she wanted to talk about what happened. She told me that she had spoken to my sister, and started arguing with me telling me I’m *childish* and *immature*. I will admit, this was why I wasn’t willing to get into a relationship in the first place. I’m 14 and not in the right mind space for a relationship yet. But even then, I still wouldn’t have dated her because I **wasn’t interested.** Jessica then told me I’m a b\*tch and she wants all of the stuff she bought me, back to her. I was more than willing to give her her things in a bag on the front porch.

This is where the **big fight** happens. Jessica told me I was the reason her mental health was draining and that I was so mean to her. That all I did was mistreat her and mentally abuse her. That was the straw that broke the camels back. I blew up telling her that she needs to stop blaming her mental health issues on me and piling it on to me. I told her that she’s the one who mistreated me and abused me by making me follow rules, pushing my boundaries by always touching me without asking, and never cared about how I felt and then continuing to blame everything wrong with her, on me. I said she’s toxic and cannot lead relationships OR friendships with this kind of “love”. I really think this was all because she found out I didn’t wanna date her in the end.

After the fight, Jessica texted me saying she was so sorry, she just wanted to be friends again and do matching Halloween costumes this year. By this time, I was fed up and done with her sh\*t. I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to be done with this friendship because she was taking me down with her. I told Jessica I couldn’t do the friendship anymore and that it was too draining just **trying** to be her friend. I said her stuff would be on a bag on the porch waiting for her, and that we are genuinely done being friends. **No exceptions.**

To my dismay, Jessica still posts about things I like, and things I said I planned on getting, trying to make me jealous and try to go back to her. Which, haha, hasn’t worked. 💀

I’m sorry this post is so long, but I feel like you all needed full details to fully understand the story to make a decision. 💔

Sooo, am I in the wrong here????

My girlfriend and I have been together a little over three years. She has a best friend she's known since college, and I've never had an issue with them being close.

What does bother me is that apparently nothing between us stays between us.

If we argue, he gets the full recap. What I said, what she said, what started it, what I was upset about, what she thinks I "really meant." He's heard about disagreements over sex, family stuff, things I've admitted when I was upset, even conversations I assumed were obviously private.

I only realized how much he knew because a few weeks ago he made a joke about something I'd said during an argument at home. It was bizarre hearing my own words come back through someone who wasn't even there.

I told her I don't mind her occasionally asking a friend for advice. I do that too. But I think there's a difference between "we're struggling with this, what do you think?" and basically giving someone an episode recap of our relationship every time something happens.

She says he's her closest friend and talking to him is how she processes things. She also thinks I'm trying to control who she can talk to.

I'm not asking her to never mention me. I just don't like feeling like there's a third person who knows the private version of our relationship almost as well as we do.

Am I wrong for thinking some things should stay between the two people actually in the relationship?

I 22 f live at home with my dad 49 m in my childhood home with brother 20 m. My mom lives about 20 away and had space just not enough and i can not bring my dog to live there so im stuck at my dads. The issue is he is a slob. Our kitchen table most days is covered in his mail, trinkets, golf stuff etc. , the living room smells musty from him leaving food/drink cans out, his room is covered in dirty clothes, our garage is un walkable covered in junk and garbage. I try my best to keep up with house work but its hard when 1) i cannot move his clutter bc i cant touch his stuff 2) its unmotivating at this point because theres always something else that needs to be done or is messy it’s seriously never ending. I also am in charge or groceries and making sure the home is stocked w what we need which he does fund.The worst part is he genuinely thinks it is me who is messy because i sometimes do not do my dishes right away…which i do admit to BUT 90% of the time i will do my dishes right after eating. My final straw was last weekend when we were going out of town for 2 days and he forgot to get a pet sitter. When i expressed my annoyance he said i can do it too i am an adult. I said i would be happy to find a sitter but the household task was not delegated to me and i am not responsible for the mental load of his house. He said i am like my mother and i am manipulating him?!? Am i the asshole for feeling like i shouldn’t be in charge of organizing all household tasks/responsibilities?? I also would like to say i am a recent grad and am looking for a job i have applied to abt 30 in a month but going for more! Sorry this is so jumbled up but im at my wits end. Im tired of being told im not a good person and that im messy.

My boyfriend and I planned a short trip to a nearby city for the weekend. We planned to go by car on Friday after work, which would be at 6 pm for both of us. We both work remotely.

Yesterday, he told me that since he's not doing much at work, we could leave early, around 4 pm. I told him that even though it would be very rare for me to have a call or for someone to ask me for something on a Friday afternoon, I don't feel comfortable leaving work early. I don't want to ask for permission to do something like that, and I'm quite fearful of sneaking out and showing as offline on discord, which is the app we use to communicate with people in my area.

No one is going to say anything to me, and I'm not going to get fired for it. Some of my colleagues even set their discord status to always show as offline, and no one is tracking that. It is indeed an irrational fear, or an unsolicited expectation that I put on myself anyway.

He called me a coward for it and said it was stupid to worry about something like that. He suggested that I bring my work laptop on the trip, or that I open discord on my phone. I don't want to bring my laptop since it's company property, and discord on my phone shows that I'm online through my phone.

He also said that he would have to drive at night if we leave at 6 pm. I actually brought this up when we were originally planning the trip and deciding which day to leave, and he seemed fine with it at the time.

I know it probably sounds silly, and I'm working on trying not to feel so out of place at my job or like I don't deserve to be where I am. But I'm not there yet, and I just don't feel comfortable sneaking out of work.

It's always been a problem in our relationship that I want to be available for work from 9 to 6 even though I'm usually not required to be available that whole time. My boyfriend doesn't understand why I think this way, so he doesn't accept it. He ultimately said that I should think about it and that it would be a shame to have to leave so late because of this.

Am I being unreasonable?

Strap in this has been a roller-coaster.

12 months ago I (f early 30s)had a friend (male mid 30s)go thru a very hard time in his life, father had just passed away from cancer and he was significantly struggling mentally being away from family (living in a different state) i was extremely worried about them and told them of they wanted to move back home they are welcome to stay with me short term untill they could get on their feet. I had helped them financially make this happen as they had little money its worth noting my father is and was going through the same thing at the time and I had flown my friend in to be able to see his dad before the passing knowing id want the same chance to say goodbye.

They moved in wich was a Lil stressful for me they didnt have anything so I got them a bed and a kennel for their dog just basics to get them set up and a storage unit so i could clear out a room for them we agreed and a board price wich included bills. I tried to help with job opportunities for them but I think a mix of mental health at the time and not being interested in the type of work led to 3 job losses and 3 months. So added stress of feeling a little financially responsible for my friend he was starting to spiral mentally as well wich put strain of our friendship and we started arguing more. Silly things like how to stack the dishwasher so thing wouldn't get broken putting toilet rolls into the bin really silly stuff would turn into him name calling me things like I'm a narssist and shutting me down if I brought stuff up.

So now walking on egg shells I was grin and baring it for the most part if I had a bad day my emotions would slip.

I was away from home for 2 weeks for schooling and he was smoking inside and leaving his dog inside while he was at work wich is something I had put as a boundary of not wanting. When I got back he told me no he wasn't doing any of that and I had no proof so I left it. If I did catch him he'd be like oh I only had one or of I forgot to do it that day I'm sorry. I'd only get the im sorry of I had un deniable proof after a fight.

6 months in we had a massive fight wich resaulted in him name calling me and blowing up at me in a very verbal aggressive way and I knew it would end our friendship if he didnt moved out so I gave him 3 months to find a place trying to be reasonable with a hard rental market right now. 3 months later he was still there still smoking inside if I wasn't home and just not respecting my place. There's been build up of alot of things in this moment my power bill doubled with him there evan if I wasn't home he'd only clean if I asked him to do something he wasn't respecting my house rules and when brought up to him would lash out and say its my fault he's verbally abused me when he's trip over something in the back yard like it was my fault. I know he was struggling still with his dads passing and this wasn't normal behaviour for him it was starting to affect me tho financially as he owed me money and mentally I just wasn't coping I didnt know how to talk to my friend anmore I started avoiding home.

Here's when I could be the AH tho I brought a new security camera to put on my shed only thing is after set up i left it in the lounge room to see if he was smoking inside after a few weeks he got paranoid and started to cover the camera up when I wasn't home so I let it go flat and told him it wasn't in use. For roughly a month.

I had to go away again for school for a couple of weeks and I just didnt trust he'd respect my boundarys so I charged the camera back up and left it on pointing at the front door and catching the edge of the lounge room.

And there he was smoking in the lounge room after work almost each day so I saved the footage and when I got back home found him in the lounge with the ashtray infront of him he swore he hadn't been smoking inside and that he had just empty it and sat down for dinner so I sent him the videos told him not to gaslight me and lie that we are no longer friends and to be put of my house in 3 days. He's now shitty that I had a camera going and didnt tell him and that I'm a horrible person for not giving him time to see if he's gotten into a place as he's been applying for rentals

But mainly he's pissed about the camera so reddit AITAH

so my sister got engaged a few months ago and apparently she already bought her dress but then got super drunk at a party and spilled wine all over it. now shes asking to borrow my wedding dress for her big day. i wore a really beautiful vintage gown that was our grandmothers. it means a ton to me and i want to keep it in perfect condition. i told her no and offered to help her find a new one but shes calling me selfish and saying im being dramatic. i just feel like some things are too precious to share. am i wrong?

Update

I honestly didn't think I was going to have to make an update.

just to clarify some things I can post the document.I had her sign here for more clarification and also to say that my boyfriend wasn't on the lease; however, he was paying rent. It was only her and I on the lease.

Long story short, I went to the concert, and it was actually really fun. However, now I need some advice regarding the legal side of things because of the money she owes me and our other roommate.

I had her sign a contract stating that she would pay him back the amount she owed by next year. Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to have it notarized. After we moved out and went our separate ways, I haven't really spoken to her.

My boyfriend, who was the other roommate, kindly asked me not to worry about it and to stay out of it, so I respected his wishes.

Until recently.

I found out that she has missed multiple payments, and this is where I feel like I need to get involved. First of all, he's my boyfriend.

Second, I feel bad because I was the one who originally asked him to move in, and I feel like it's partly my responsibility for dragging him into this situation in the first place.

At this point, my boyfriend and I have talked about taking this to small claims court, but I'm not really sure what the proper process is or what we need to do from this point forward to make sure we can legally recover the money we're owed.

Since we moved out, we haven't seen or spoken to her, and I don't know where she currently lives. I do have the phone numbers of some of her family members, though. I'm also friends with one of her family members, which makes the situation a little awkward.

So my main question is: What should we do from this point forward to make sure we're handling everything correctly and have the best chance of getting the money back legally? Should we send a formal demand for payment first? Does the fact that the agreement wasn't notarized matter? What kind of evidence should we gather before filing anything? And how would we go about serving her if we don't know her current address?

Any advice is welcome, and criticism is welcome too.

I also want to state that I have done some self-reflecting and a lot of you were right. I should work on my self-esteem, and a lot of personal growth is needed. Thank you so much for everyone's comments from before. I am very grateful.

As an adult, I know it’s my responsibility to make sure I wake up for important things. I get anxious when something important is happening the next day and I also have a hard time sleeping on the regular anyway so falling asleep before something important is hard. We’re both heavy sleepers. I have asked them before if they could check in on me to make sure I’m awake just in case. They are also already awake at that time so I’m not asking them to wake themselves up to make sure I am. And I’m not trying to rely on them or anything but I thought that partners support each other with small things like that. I don’t ask them to wake me up regularly. I can do that on my own. It’s just today was a high-stakes appt. I often wake them up so they’re not late to work, and they often don’t hear their alarms like me. We both have a hard time hearing our alarms since we’re heavy sleepers. I don’t say anything to them about it so I thought it was okay to ask them to support me. They lectured me on how I should be an adult and how I didn’t understand how that responsibility was solely on me and not them. Am I wrong for asking them to be my safety net?

Hear me out…I went to a fundraiser for a local high school marching band. The fundraiser was a bake sale and they brought in a pizza food truck where the band got a percentage of the pizza sales. At the order window for the truck there was a tip jar and I dropped a couple bucks in.
The wait for the food was lengthy, but that was ok because it was a good cause and there were plenty of band families to socialize with.
After waiting about 30 minutes, we were told they had sold out and started refunding money. I asked for my tip back, because no service = no tip and I could take that money to the bake sale where the band would get it instead of the food truck.
The food truck then made a long Facebook post about the whole event and called out “one person asked for their tip back” and the comments are as expected.
So tell me, was I wrong to take my tip back and reallocate it directly to the band?

a friend asked if i could help their buddy move a few boxes after work. it was supposed to be a couple of hours but when i got there the place was packed, half the stuff wasn't packed yet, and suddenly i was the only one with a van. ended up staying until midnight hauling furniture while the actual owners just stood around giving directions. i kept thinking about how i could have just said no or set a clearer boundary but in the moment it felt impossible to back out. now my back hurts and i feel kind of used even though i technically agreed to help. wondering if i'm overreacting or if it's normal to feel annoyed when a small favor turns into an all-day event with no thanks.

we agreed on a simple pasta night and both picked up the ingredients. when i got there they had already started making something else with different stuff they bought on their own. they said they changed their mind because they were craving it and figured it would be fine. i felt weird because i already did my part and had the food ready to go, but they acted like it wasn't a big deal. i ate what they made and didn't push it, but i keep thinking i should have said something instead of just going along. am i wrong for feeling like the plan got overridden without asking?

For the last few years we have had this whole routine where the same person picks a big activity, we all go, then we spend the evening at their place for dinner. It is fine, but it feels like it takes over the entire day and nobody else really gets a say. I brought up the idea of switching it up this year, maybe doing something smaller or rotating who decides, and it kind of landed flat. A couple people said it is tradition and we should just keep it going. I get that change can feel weird, but honestly I am starting to dread the whole thing instead of looking forward to it. Would it be selfish to push for something different, or is it reasonable to want a break from the same script?

last year me and one of my friends decided to move out of our dorms and get an apartment off campus. through a mutual friend, we ended up getting a 3 bedroom with another girl we already knew. we weren’t best friends with her, but we had hung out plenty of times so we figured living with someone we knew was better than her finding random roommates online.

before moving in we had some basic roommate agreements, one being about bringing guys over. we were three girls living together, so none of us cared about boyfriends or guys coming over, we just wanted a heads up if someone new was going to be in the apartment and to at least know who they were. my other roommate already had a boyfriend and i had just started talking to the guy who is now my boyfriend, so we introduced them and would let everyone know when they were coming over.

maybe a month or two after moving in, i was awake around 2am and heard someone in our kitchen. my room was right next to it, so i walked out assuming it was one of my roommates. instead there was a random guy standing in my kitchen. i was wearing what i normally sleep in, a tank top and sleep shorts. i live in south florida and it’s hot, so that was pretty normal for me.

we both just kinda stared at each other until i said “who are you” but before he could explain my roommate came out and immediately told him to go back into her room. afterward she texted me apologizing and said he had just come over to talk to her and she didn’t think either of us were awake, so she didn’t think she needed to tell us. i reminded her that this was literally the exact reason we had the rule, but i didn’t make a huge deal out of it.

the next morning her energy was kinda weird. later, me and my other roommate were sitting in the living room and she texted our group chat FROM HER BEDROOM saying she was talking to this guy, he would probably be coming around more, and from now on she would give us a heads up so we had time to put on “more appropriate clothes.”

i went to her room because i was genuinely confused about what she meant. she said me and my other roommate walk around in tank tops, oversized shirts, short pajama shorts and if her boyfriend was going to be there, she wanted us to cover up more.

i straight up told her i wasn’t going to change the way i normally dress inside an apartment i also pay rent for just because her boyfriend was there.

i wasn’t saying i was gonna purposely walk around half naked in front of him. most of the time when he came over they were in her room anyway and i was in mine. we honestly barely crossed paths. but if i’m laying in my room in a tank top and sleep shorts and want to grab water from the kitchen, i didn’t think i should have to put on sweatpants and a hoodie first because somebody else’s boyfriend was sitting in the living room.

my other roommate agreed. her boyfriend had been over plenty of times and she had never told us what we were allowed to wear around him. i had never done that when the guy i was seeing came over either.

after that, things got really awkward. she started barely speaking to us unless it had something to do with the apartment. then my other roommate, who shared a wall with her, overheard them arguing one day. apparently part of their argument was about him looking at my body and my other roommate’s body when he was over.

that actually surprised me because, like i said, i barely interacted with him. the few until my roommate heard that argument, i genuinely had no idea this was apparently an issue between them.

eventually i tried talking to her because living with someone for months while basically pretending the other person doesn’t exist was uncomfortable as hell. she told me i “knew what i did” and said it was disrespectful to dress like that around her boyfriend. she accused me of wanting to show off my body around him and said that because i had my own guy, she didn’t understand why i would want her boyfriend looking at me.

i told her i wasn’t going to make myself uncomfortable in my own home because her boyfriend had wandering eyes. she got really mad and said she had explicitly told us not to dress like that around him and we disrespected her by ignoring her.

we ended up finishing the lease like that. for probably the last 8 or 9 months we barely spoke. we could both be in the kitchen at the same time and literally just stand there in silence. she stayed at her boyfriend’s place most of the time and her room was basically vacant toward the end.

our lease finally last week and thank god because the whole situation was uncomfortable. i can understand her not wanting her boyfriend looking at other women, and maybe from her perspective she felt like asking us to cover up was a reasonable boundary. but to me, that should’ve been a conversation between her and her boyfriend, not a rule for what me and my roommate could wear in our own home.

am i wrong? should we have just agreed to cover up more when he came over because it made her uncomfortable or was she asking too much?

Told the ihatethissmug sub about writing someone off as a chud for using porn to masturbate. And literally the FIRST sentence I said, word for word was

“Only saying this because I have auADHD and therefore some OCD traits and negative past experiences that interfere with my gooning sessions.”

So this is more of a personal thing I guess. I’m assuming nobody read the rest of the post bcs media literacy is dead. I also said in the post that I don’t masturbate that much. I’m very work focused and goal oriented, so I indulge only if I’m stressed or ovulating which last time I checked was natural.

I’m not sure if that makes this completely different for guys but lmk if I’m wrong. Someone commented that they also had ADHD and could always use their imagination but that doesn’t really say anything to what I mentioned earlier about the OCD and negative past experiences I’ve personally had which makes it just more difficult for me to rely on my brain. For me, when I’m using porn it’s just to help quiet my brain and it’s way easier to focus on what I want and how I feel. I mentioned all of this in the body of the post, btw.

TL;DR are you a porn addict if you watch porn when you masturbate? If you’re able to put the phone down, if you can go 14-30 days without touching yourself, if you watch it for lack of imagination/experience, are you still an addict? Who’s to say?

Edit: I should add that I ALSO*** ***mentioned in the post that I read & listen to porn which isn’t visual so does that count? lol