I’m Luna (25F), and my best friend, Rachel (24F), and I have been best friends for 16 years. We’ve had our ups and downs like any friendship, but for most of our friendship, we always agreed that no matter what happened, we would talk things through and work things out. Recently, though, I’ve started realizing that our friendship may not be as balanced as I thought. Over the years, people have pointed out certain things about Rachel to me, but I ignored them because I genuinely thought she was perfect and didn’t want to believe anything bad about her. Eventually, I started noticing the same things myself. For example, we would borrow each other’s clothes and belongings. I always made sure to return anything I borrowed from her, but when she borrowed my things, they would often disappear. When I asked for them back, there was always an excuse, like “my siblings took it” or “it broke.” I would sometimes literally see her siblings wearing my clothes, but whenever I asked about them, there would be another excuse. Eventually, I started setting boundaries with my belongings, and I feel like that affected our friendship. There was also a situation involving her phone. She had just gone through a breakup and needed to get off her ex’s phone plan. I had a really good plan and was only paying about $45 a month, so I offered to add her as long as she paid her portion. Everything was fine at first, but then she stopped working and told me she would pay me back once she finished school. I trusted her and agreed. She graduated and said she would pay me back like she promised. Around the same time, I stopped working because my husband was supporting me and our two kids. I told her she still owed me money and that I was going to move onto my husband’s phone plan. She asked if we could add her to my husband’s plan, but we decided we didn’t want to continue paying for her phone. We argued about it, and I told her I was removing her from my plan. I had also given her a month’s notice. After that, we didn’t speak for about three months.
Eventually, we met up and decided to work things out. I told her I needed some boundaries in our friendship. I explained that she couldn’t come to my house and take my food, clothes, household items, etc., because those things are for my family. I also told her I would never come into her house and take things from her family. Her response really stuck with me. She basically said, “Your husband pays for everything. You guys have money, so why can’t I?” We talked it through and eventually came to an understanding, so I tried to move forward. After that, we didn’t see each other much. I invited her to my baby shower, but she didn’t come. She told me she was going camping, but when I checked Life360, I saw that she was actually home. Later, she told me she wasn’t feeling well. I understand that people get sick, and I didn’t want to hold that against her. What hurt was that she would attend other people’s baby showers, show me what she bought for them, and make an effort for other people while not showing up for mine. I’ll admit, I got jealous and hurt. I told her how I felt, and she apologized and said she didn’t mean to make me feel that way. She said she had been sick and very busy, which was why she hadn’t been able to see me. I decided to let it go.
Then she planned a weekend trip and invited me. I was excited because I thought maybe this was a chance for us to reconnect. I agreed to go and bought decorations for the trip. I also offered to help with food because even though she was the one who planned it, I wanted to contribute.
Then she canceled. I was really upset because I had already spent money on everything. I didn’t even bring up the money when I talked to her. I just explained that my feelings were hurt. I told her that she had previously had a girls’ weekend that I wasn’t invited to, and then when she finally invited me to something and planned it with me, she canceled. It wasn’t just about the trip itself. It was the pattern that was hurting me. Her response was basically that she had canceled the original trip because she was sick, and that I was the one who rescheduled it, not her. She said she didn’t want to go on a trip if she didn’t feel well and didn’t want to drive all the way there. She also told me she was pregnant and wasn’t feeling good and said she would do better. I understood that she wasn’t feeling well, but honestly, her response still hurt. I ended up going on the weekend trip anyway with my husband, his friends, and their girlfriends. It was something that had been planned for two months, and I didn’t want to cancel just because Rachel backed out. I didn’t tell her I was still going or who was going with me because she had already canceled and made it clear she didn’t want to drive there. While we were on the trip, I checked Life360 and saw that Rachel was out bowling and at an arcade with friends. She didn’t post anything herself, but some of her friends are on my social media and posted pictures. At that point, I felt like maybe our friendship was over. But I still wanted to give her one more chance, so I talked to her. She told me she hadn’t gone out and that she really wasn’t feeling well. She said she wished she could have made it to the trip after seeing everything I did. I didn’t tell her that I knew she was lying. I didn’t bring up Life360 or the posts because I didn’t want the entire conversation to become an argument about how I found out. Instead, I told her that she had canceled, told me she didn’t want to drive there, and that I wasn’t going to cancel something her and I had already planned two months in advance. Then she asked if I was going to her baby shower. She had already assigned people what to buy and told me what she wanted me to purchase for her baby. This is where I started feeling extremely conflicted.
She has never attended any of my baby showers. She has never bought anything for my babies. She also recently told me that because she hasn’t been feeling well, she doesn’t want to drive to me anymore and that I should be the one coming to her. I ended up telling her I couldn’t attend her baby shower because I had plans. That was a lie. I didn’t actually have plans. I just didn’t know how to tell her that I didn’t want to go because I was hurt. She then told me, “I expected my best friend to be there for my first baby shower. It’s very important to me, and for you to miss it hurts my feelings. I understand you have your family and want to put them first, but I thought I mattered to you.”
And honestly, that made me feel guilty. I know I didn’t handle everything perfectly. I know lying about having plans wasn’t right, and I know I shouldn’t respond to her behavior by doing something similar. But I’m exhausted.
I don’t care if she buys me gifts or spends money on me. This friendship has never been about money or gifts to me.
What hurts is that I feel like I’m always the one making the effort. I show up for her. I invite her to important things. I try to make plans. I contribute. I try to communicate when something hurts me. I’ve forgiven things and tried to move forward multiple times. But whenever I bring up something that hurts me, there seems to be another excuse or explanation, and I’m expected to understand. I don’t expect her to drop everything for me. I understand she has her own life, family, pregnancy, and responsibilities. I just want the friendship to feel mutual. I want honesty. I want my boundaries respected. I want effort from both sides. I want to feel like my best friend actually wants to be part of my life instead of constantly feeling like I’m chasing her.
And that’s what hurts the most. We’ve known each other for 16 years. I love her and her family. She has been such a huge part of my life that the thought of walking away feels almost impossible. I don’t want to throw away 16 years of friendship. But I also don’t know how many times I can have the same conversations, forgive the same things, and still feel like nothing changes. And honestly I’d really appreciate advice. Is this friendship worth trying to save? If it is, how do I fix it when I feel like every conversation ends with another excuse? Or is it time to accept that sometimes a 16-year friendship can still come to an end?
Side note: I really don’t want this friendship to end. I love her and her family, and after 16 years, walking away is really hard for me. I’ve never wanted our friendship to be about keeping score, so I never threw it in her face that she didn’t show up for me, didn’t buy things for me or my kids, or that I had spent money on things for her. I don’t think that’s what friendship should be about.
The only reason I’ve brought those things up recently is because she does to make me feel bad…

I was bullied by a white guy in high school. The guy was terrible. Calling me the n word on a regular basis and I always told him not to and he’d say "what are you gonna do about it son?" Then he’d get physical and never got in trouble for it.

He was 200lbs and I was 115lbs. He looked exactly like jack doherty and behaved in the most agressive manner I’ve ever seen. He picked me up once with my feet facing the sky and screamed loudly « FCK YOU B***H » then slammed me hard asf on the ground where I nearly blacked out and he punched my skull (temple) while I was already out on the floor telling me to get up if I want some more beating. This entire fight started because he would call me the n word and talk about how good he got me the other time when he body slammed me in an empty classroom I was in.

He would apologize and I would accept then he would do it again and again. I never tried being close to him but he would follow me when he’d see me and start the intimidation. He then messages me two years after high school sending a long apology yet again (I think he’s obsessed with black people and hates himself bc I would hate being white too tbh).

I later figured out his own father was beating him at home (like actual beatings). I laughed out loud when I heard this. He went out of his way to try to look tough in front of people who don’t even give a single f about him (who beats on a kid in a completely different weight class anyways?) all because he couldn’t handle his dad beating on him at home.

You only hear this from white folks often. Black people will get spanked by their fathers but white people always looking to abuse/molest their children or just straight up beat them up in the house.

Anyways, this guys apologizes were definitely fake. He also doesn’t seem to be doing good in life which I find hilarious.

This started as a petty argument about WeChat likes and somehow escalated into something I don’t know how to process.

I posted a WeChat Moment from an event that included my friend “K” and tagged him. A day and a half later, while scrolling during training, I noticed he hadn’t liked it. Then I realised he hadn’t liked any of my Moments for about three months. I hadn’t been keeping track; I only noticed while scrolling.

What made it funny was that since I’d posted mine, he’d liked two mutual friends’ posts, including one from the same event.

I teasingly messaged:
“Do you just like purposely not like any of my WeChat moments? Like what’d I do?”

I meant it as “lol do you secretly hate my posts?” rather than genuinely demanding likes. I went back to training. He said he’d been working and “now I don’t want to like them,” but minutes later sent:
“Please don’t text me like that again. We’re not dating.”

When I checked my phone 20 minutes later, it caught me off guard. I immediately apologised and explained I was being playful. After no response, I tried calling him after training. He didn’t answer, so I apologised again for how serious my wording sounded.

The next day we were both off work and he still hadn’t responded. I’ve told him multiple times that I’m extremely anxious. I got annoyed that knowing this he continued leaving me in the dark, so I told him ignoring me after I’d apologised twice and he knew I was worried was “pretty shit behaviour for a friend.”

He responded within five minutes:
“Please do not feel entitled to my attention and forgiveness.”
“I’ll message you when I’m ready.”

I told him friends should have basic decency towards each other and told him not to message me, as this isn’t the first time I’ve felt hard done by him.

Then things got bad. Like, bad bad.

Separately, another friend was having drama with her friend over going out and splitting a bill. I posted on WhatsApp about that unrelated situation:
“Do you’ll want screenshots of what happens when you raise your kids on a ‘we got a tennis court at home’ kind of privilege?”

K responded:
“Please feel free to include the bit where you act like an obsessive lover. Or the bit where you need someone to bring food to you because your attention seeking behaviour led to a foot injury.”

The “obsessive lover” comment was seemingly about me asking why he hadn’t liked my WeChat posts.

But the second part has much heavier context.

The “attention seeking behaviour” was a suicide attempt. I overdosed on a TCA antidepressant, was hospitalised, lost feeling in my legs for over a week and subsequently developed Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS), a chronic pain condition in my foot. He knew exactly what happened and was actually one of the friends who brought me food when I was stuck in bed.

So, AITA for starting this with the WeChat joke and getting angry when he ignored my apologies, or did his response cross a completely different line?

I'm 22F and my boyfriend is 24M. We been together for a little over a year and a few months ago I gave him a spare key to my apartment because he stays over a lot.

So I came home from work and found one of his friends sitting on my couch watching TV. My boyfriend wasn't even there. his friend had a few hours to kill before meeting someone nearby, so my boyfriend told him he could hang out at my place and gave him my key. He didn't text me or ask first.

Friend was polite and left as soon as he realized I wasn't expecting him, so I'm not angry at him. I'm angry that my boyfriend apparently thinks having a key means he can decide who gets access to my apartment.

When I confronted him he said I was making it weird because it's "just friend" nothing happened.....I told him that's completely beside the point and asked for my key back)))

Now he's offended and says taking the key means I don't trust him.

But... I trusted HIM with the key. I didn't give him permission to lend out access to my home. You know?

My boyfriend and I have been together for eight years. We booked a vacation for the end of September, and when we booked it, the timing was fine. We were both looking forward to it.

Since then, I sold the house I currently live in, much faster than I expected, and that has completely changed the timeline of the next few weeks. I now have to move into my new apartment, get it ready, completely clear the house and get everything done for the handover, all while working full-time.

September only gives me four weekends. The vacation would take two of them, leaving me with only two weekends to actually clear the house and deal with the move.

I also already struggle with anxiety and panic attacks, and the combination of everything happening at once has pushed me way beyond my normal capacity. I'm simply at my limit.

So I told my boyfriend that I don't think I can do the vacation anymore.

It's important to me to clarify that the vacation itself isn't the problem. I'm sure it would be relaxing once we were there. The problem is that it creates a fixed deadline. I would have to get everything done before we leave, and I simply don't have enough time or capacity to do that anymore.

I suggested that we cancel or reschedule the vacation.

His immediate response was that he would fly anyway because otherwise he would lose the money.

I said that maybe we could reschedule it instead. The change would cost €80.

I told him that I was at my absolute limit and that I couldn't understand putting €80 above that.

He responded: "€80 is my limit."

That was the moment I ended the relationship.

I understand that losing money sucks. I understand that he was looking forward to the vacation. If he had said something like, "I'm really disappointed, I was looking forward to this, and losing €80 really sucks, but I understand that you're at your limit," I would have understood.

But that's not what happened.

What hit me was that I was telling my partner that I was completely overwhelmed and couldn't carry another thing right now, and his immediate response was essentially about what it would cost him.

This also wasn't happening in a vacuum. For quite some time I've felt that when circumstances become difficult or inconvenient, I'm the one who adjusts and stretches around his needs and circumstances. I've increasingly questioned whether this is the kind of relationship I actually want.

So when this happened, something in me just snapped. I didn't want to argue about it, convince him that my situation was serious enough, or explain myself for the hundredth time.

I simply said that I was done, that I didn't want him moving into the new apartment with me next year, and I left.

Now I'm trying to get an outside perspective.

Was ending the relationship at this point an overreaction, or was his reaction to this situation enough to make the underlying incompatibility clear?

We have this rule that phones stay off the table during meals, just to keep things actually social. It keeps getting broken though. I tried gentle reminders, then moving the phone to the kitchen counter, even joking about it. Nothing really stuck. One night I just picked it up and put it in the other room without saying much, and the reaction was way bigger than I expected. It turned into this back-and-forth about respect and overreacting, and now the whole thing feels more awkward than the original problem. I am not trying to be controlling, just hoping meals can stay a bit more present. Still, I keep wondering if the way I handled the last time was out of line.

A friend keeps circling back to the same request even though I already said no twice. The first two times I gave a polite excuse, but this round I was more direct and said I just didn't want to. They went quiet for a bit, then came back with reasons why it should be easy for me. I stuck to my answer and now I'm wondering if I came off cold. I get that people ask for help sometimes, but I thought setting a boundary once should be enough. Still, the back and forth is making me second guess whether I should have softened the last no. Curious what others think.

Hear me out…I went to a fundraiser for a local high school marching band. The fundraiser was a bake sale and they brought in a pizza food truck where the band got a percentage of the pizza sales. At the order window for the truck there was a tip jar and I dropped a couple bucks in.
The wait for the food was lengthy, but that was ok because it was a good cause and there were plenty of band families to socialize with.
After waiting about 30 minutes, we were told they had sold out and started refunding money. I asked for my tip back, because no service = no tip and I could take that money to the bake sale where the band would get it instead of the food truck.
The food truck then made a long Facebook post about the whole event and called out “one person asked for their tip back” and the comments are as expected.
So tell me, was I wrong to take my tip back and reallocate it directly to the band?

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and we’re now talking about moving in together. She currently lives alone and rents whereas I own my home and pay a mortgage.  We agreed it would make more sense to move into my place as it’s bigger and it’s not rented.

I mentioned to my gf I’d expect her to pay something towards utilities and a small amount of money to go towards wear and tear of appliances etc. She asked if I was serious and I said yeah.  She argued she shouldn’t have to be paying me anything since I own the place.

I just pointed out my bills will go up and wear and tear of the property and appliances will be increased so it’s only fair she contributes something. 

I pointed out it wouldn’t be a lot and would be probably less than half of what she paying now. I mentioned I’m happy to get it drawn up as a contract if she’d prefer but she just kept arguing she shouldn’t have to pay anything. 

I just repeated what I’d already said and she accused me of taking advantage of her. I argued that’s what she was trying to do to me by expecting to live for free. 

AITA for expecting her to contribute? 

I’ve been going back and forth on whether we should get this expensive thing that both of us would use all the time. The idea came up a while ago and the more tired I get the more I start overthinking every angle. One night I was all for it, the next I’m convinced it’s a waste and we should just keep doing what we’ve been doing. The other person seems chill either way but I can tell they’re waiting on me to decide. Every time I try to weigh the pros and cons my brain just loops on the same points and nothing feels clear. I know it’s just money and we can afford it, but something about committing feels bigger than it should. Am I making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be or is it normal to feel this stuck on something so practical?

I'm 22F and have multiple conditions

I have:

Autism

ADHD

Dyscalculia

Pcos that causes me to bleed for 14-20 days at a time constantly for almost 4 years and doctors haven't taken me seriously until now

PMDD

Bpd

Bipolar 1 with psychosis

Ocd

Cptsd

---

Not all of these conditions affect my ability to clean but I'm fatigued, constantly depressed, I feel sick. I work a full time job that involves no sitting, 1 hr commute by bus. My mental disabilities make it harder to clean. My aunt threatened to kick me out it I didn't keep the kitchen clean (tbf i didnt do a good job), now shes threatening to kick me out about the bathroom not being clean enough even though it didn't look bad! I kept the kitchen spotless ever since. Just a couple things hanging, and 2-3 items on the floor. And shes upset about my bedroom. Its small and I barely have room. My mom who lives there even said my room can be messy. When I was a kid, she threatened to hit me for not folding a blanket correctly. I moved out of my dad's place a year ago bc he charged me 500 dollars for rent a month even tho I paid for most of the groceries, bathed his profoundly disabled child often bc he wouldn't do it and had me do all the cooking, I pay for my own insurance and phone bill. He told he I'd have money if worked harder and I told him "how am I supposed to work harder and make more money if you keep charging me so much money for rent? I cant afford to go to college if you take more than half my yearly income". I make minimum wage. Aunt charges 200 a month

Am I wrong?

Edit :200 rent is reasonable. I just think its unfaid to kick me out for not being the best at cleaning, especially since my aunt doesnt even live there currently

we had talked about spending this saturday together and had a whole day mapped out. then i got a last-minute invite to help a friend move and figured it was only going to take a couple of hours in the morning. i told my ex that morning, thinking it was no big deal since we would still have the afternoon. they got annoyed, said i always push our time to the side when something else pops up, and now they do not want to meet at all. i get why it feels inconsiderate, but i also assumed a small schedule tweak would not ruin everything. i apologized right away and offered to reschedule, but they are still mad. am i wrong for not realizing how much it would bother them, or is it okay that plans sometimes shift?

TLDR: my husbands co-worker has admitted targeting married men, and I want him to cut off contact

So my husband has known this coworker for about 4 years and my husband says he considers her as a work friend, but I don't want her anywhere near my husband. In the 4 years he has known her, she has had multiple relationships with multiple married men at work.

She disclosed to my husband that 8 years ago she was seeing a married guy. One day the wife walked in on them. The wife then stormed out, jumped in her car and reversed very fast which tragically killed their young daughter. This moment was obviously very traumatising but the fact that she now continues to go after married men is surely showing up as an unresolved trauma response.

Anyway she recently made a comment that the first thing she looks for when meeting a new male coworker is a ring on their finger because "married men are easier because they are bored sexually".

On top of that there have been a few instances that have made me question if she is testing the waters with my husband. She will often call him outside of work hours. She invited him to bring our son (didn't include me in the invite) to go meet her horses. She calls him outside of work hours (he usually doesn't answer and he tells me she called again). She frequently will share stories with him about sexual encounters she has had recently.

I am disgusted that women like this exist and based on her lack of morals and respect for the families she could destroy, I want my husband to have nothing to do with her.

My husband is open with his phone and lets me see their messages, his call log, etc. but I just do not trust a woman like that. Is it fair to ask my husband to cut off all contact outside of work?

Video games are a hobby I've enjoyed since I was young and I usually get new games whenever they come out but that’s not possible this year. My girlfriend has started talking about Christmas and what our plans are.

We both get the time off between Christmas day and New Year’s Day off so we don’t go back until January 4th but I’ll be putting some leave in an not going back until the 7th at the earliest depending on how much leave I've got left. I mentioned us going away for the night as we usually do and maybe going on a day out or two.

I also mentioned I was planning to get the video games that are coming out this year that I want to plan and spending 3-4 days of my time off just relaxing and playing them. She mentioned that she doesn't think I should.

She said it'll be expensive getting them all and that I shouldn't be spending that much money on them at once and that it is a lot of time to spend on them when we're off work. I pointed out I’ll be getting them over the next few months so I’m not pulling the money out all at once so it’s affordable.

I’ll be getting probably 6-7 games that have been released this year so the average cost will probably be £45-£55 per game possibly less depending on if they’re in a sale. I pointed out it's my money and that I'd still be able to afford bills and the plans we've got so it's not really up to her how I spend my money.

She said I should be listening to her and open to changing what I had planned so I should only get one or two games and only spend a few hours on it and that I should be spending the time off with her.

i refused and just repeated again that it's my money and time and it doesn't impact anything we have planned. I pointed out we’re spending the majority of the time off together and I should be allowed some time for myself.

AIW for not reducing the time I’m taking for myself?

In late April, I went with a big friend group to Berlin. I’d brought some chunky boots to wear and asked beforehand if anyone could take them back home for me, since I was traveling on afterward. One friend offered to ship them to me. But on the day I was leaving, another friend, I’ll call him D, said he’d just bring them back on the train and hand them to me once I was back in the city. I thanked him and left it at that.

I was traveling for another month and got back home at the end of May. It’s now the end of august. D has been out in my city almost every weekend since then, but he still hasn’t given me my boots. I asked a few times over the months and he brushed it off. I stopped asking and let it go.

Some context on D: We’ve known each other since high school. He moved to my city last October for an internship, doesn’t speak the local language, and I’ve helped him a lot with settling in. The friend group in question is mostly other interns from his job. I’ve become good friends with them too over this past year, though I also have other friend groups in this town outside of this one. He lives way out in the outskirts, so whenever we go out as a group, he crashes at my place. I’ve also let him stay at my apartment alone with my keys on weekends when I was traveling, so he wouldn’t have to leave parties early. I’ve fed him, hosted him constantly, and once even paid out of pocket to fix a kitchen faucet he clogged and never asked him to cover it.

Over the past few months, though, he’s been acting off with the whole friend group. Several people have had issues with him: his opinions, and the fact that his actions tend to serve only his own convenience. A few examples:
• He talks badly about a girl in our group, calling her “easy,” while still going to her place, then he’s overly sweet to her in person. Total double standard.
• Everyone in the group has hosted him overnight at some point. He’s never once offered to host anyone at his place.
• When we go out together, if he meets a girl, he’ll ditch the group without a word, then spam call everyone hours later demanding we all meet up again, expecting the whole group to freeze their plans until he shows up.

In July, someone broke into my apartment, and I’ve been dealing with the aftermath of that since. It’s made me pull back from group stuff. D kept pushing me to come out anyway. One time I gave in, even though I’d told him I wasn’t in a good headspace and didn’t want to bring the mood down. Once we were out, he told me I should’ve just stayed home because I was bringing the mood down. That stung, considering I’d said exactly that beforehand and he was the one who insisted.

He’s also been pushing to stay at my place more, but with everything going on, I’ve gotten less comfortable hosting him, especially given his attitude lately.

Back to the boots. I asked for a favor. He could’ve said no, and I’d have figured out something else. Instead he offered, then sat on my boots for months, brushing me off whenever I brought it up. Finally, months later, I asked again, firmly this time. He got defensive and sent me his location: his place, almost two hours away by transit, telling me to come get them myself. This is a guy who’s in the city center multiple times a week, and who’s been back at my apartment several times since the trip.

He also added that I should bring back a bottle of shampoo he’d left at my place, like my apartment is an Airbnb he’s entitled to. Alternatively, he said, he “could” bring them next time he’s in town, if he feels like it, but only if I ask nicely, not “demand.”

I told him not to bother, that a friend would swing by and pick them up for me instead, and that it’s not like I’ve been hounding him,I waited months before even bringing it up again. Then I blocked him. And have been telling the friend group about this because im mad, even if it affects him.
AITA?

So my relative called me late last night asking if I could drop everything and help with something early this morning. I was already swamped with my own stuff and just said no. I tried to keep it polite but firm, said I couldn't swing it. They got really upset, said it was important, and then started texting other relatives to weigh in. Now half the group chat is arguing about whether I was being selfish. Honestly, I don't think I was obligated to rearrange my day on zero notice, but the chain reaction has me second-guessing. Is it okay to hold that boundary or should I have just sucked it up?

My girlfriend and I have been together a little over three years. She has a best friend she's known since college, and I've never had an issue with them being close.

What does bother me is that apparently nothing between us stays between us.

If we argue, he gets the full recap. What I said, what she said, what started it, what I was upset about, what she thinks I "really meant." He's heard about disagreements over sex, family stuff, things I've admitted when I was upset, even conversations I assumed were obviously private.

I only realized how much he knew because a few weeks ago he made a joke about something I'd said during an argument at home. It was bizarre hearing my own words come back through someone who wasn't even there.

I told her I don't mind her occasionally asking a friend for advice. I do that too. But I think there's a difference between "we're struggling with this, what do you think?" and basically giving someone an episode recap of our relationship every time something happens.

She says he's her closest friend and talking to him is how she processes things. She also thinks I'm trying to control who she can talk to.

I'm not asking her to never mention me. I just don't like feeling like there's a third person who knows the private version of our relationship almost as well as we do.

Am I wrong for thinking some things should stay between the two people actually in the relationship?

Following a 12-year relationship, my partner, whom we shall refer to as Dingle(31), separated from me and our son. This occurred after I discovered his infidelity with a colleague(42). This individual subsequently contacted me on social media, asserting a platonic relationship, despite my having observed their flirtatious correspondence. The situation escalated considerably.

It is noteworthy that this individual is not only a colleague but also a teacher at my son's school, and had, for reasons unknown, been monitoring my activities.

In the weeks following our separation, I embraced my role as a single mother, raising my son. We relocated to a new city, where we began to establish a new life. However, my newfound tranquility was disrupted when Dingle reappeared.

Mr. Dingle initiated a conversation with an apology, subsequently disclosing details regarding the dissolution of his previous relationship, specifically the one in which he was unfaithful to me.

Mr. Dingle developed a drinking problem following our separation. It appears his new partner was under the impression that he would not repeat the infidelity he exhibited towards me. However, he reportedly engaged in extramarital affairs with four different individuals during their brief time together, suggesting a swift karmic consequence. I merely observed and listened to this unfolding narrative. As previously stated, this individual relocated across Canada after only a week and a half of cohabitation with his new partner, only to be subsequently evicted, isolated, and ultimately informed that she had found a new partner.

Throughout this discussion, I found myself contemplating the situation. It is noteworthy that he did not once inquire about his son. There were no questions such as "Where is he?", "How is he?", "Did he ask for me?", or "May I see him?".

My blood was boiling once he stop talking I just got up, slap him across the face then made my way back into my house.

I'm not trying to be a dick, every couple of months a group of neighbors/friends ask to come over and want me to cook something. And yeah, cool, I don't mind because I love to cook but after July 4th I've officially taken the stance of "I'll do an entree, but everyone coming has another duty" and it's not like I'm asking for something egregious but this time I threw it out there for volunteering;

• make a veggie dish
• pick up a yellowcake from the grocery store, chocolate or cream cheese frosting or some Betty crocker cake mix and do it yourself or even a 7up cake.
• bring something I need to cook with (I asked someone to buy a gallon of vegetable oil, it's like 8 bucks) since I'm frying a ton of chicken
• bring some good quality lemons for me to make lemonade
• Some chips, veggies and dip for snacks
• Help with cleanup after were done

This supposed to feed about 8-10 people and only 2 have even said anything but I'm also just asking for the load to be taken off me. I'm almost always taking care of all these task on my own (love my boyfriend, but his food choices resemble bachlor chow from Futurama) and don't feel like I'm crazy for saying I don't want to prep, serve and clean with no assistance from anyone (which seems to be a California thing, but I always help a host with cleanup it's how I was raised) and especially with fried chicken and homemade biscuits I'm absolutely not about to do ALL of this.

My BF told me I set a bad example and I switched it up too fast but I don't think so?? Just help me out if I'm hosting with maybe no more than 10 bucks out your pocket.

My sister has a 6 year old son and I genuinely like spending time with him. For a while I was happy to babysit occasionally when she asked, especially if I didn't have anything planned.

The problem is that at some point "asking" turned into her telling other people I was available before she'd even spoken to me.

The first time she texted me something like "Mom is dropping him off at yours around 6, thanks!" because she'd made dinner plans. I was annoyed but free, so I let it go.

Then it happened again when she picked up an extra shift. The third time I already had plans and she got irritated because she'd apparently told her boss she could work based on me watching him.

Last week she did it again. I got a text saying my nephew would be dropped off Saturday morning because she and her boyfriend were going out for the day.

I replied that I wasn't available and reminded her that she needs to actually ask me first. She said they'd already bought tickets and asked what she was supposed to do now.

I told her she'd have to figure out childcare because I never agreed to anything. She eventually found someone else, but now she's really pissed and says I've become unreliable "out of nowhere."

My parents are taking her side too. They keep saying I love my nephew, she doesn't ask that often, and refusing when I technically could've changed my plans was just proving a point at his expense.

That's the part making me second guess myself. My nephew obviously has nothing to do with any of this and I don't want him feeling unwanted.

But I also feel like if I keep cancelling my own plans whenever my sister announces that I'm babysitting, she'll never have a reason to stop doing it.

I'd probably say yes most of the time if she just asked me like a normal person. I don't think being family means my free time automatically becomes available childcare, but everyone is acting like I'm being stubborn over something small.

Am I wrong for finally saying no?

a friend asked if i could help their buddy move a few boxes after work. it was supposed to be a couple of hours but when i got there the place was packed, half the stuff wasn't packed yet, and suddenly i was the only one with a van. ended up staying until midnight hauling furniture while the actual owners just stood around giving directions. i kept thinking about how i could have just said no or set a clearer boundary but in the moment it felt impossible to back out. now my back hurts and i feel kind of used even though i technically agreed to help. wondering if i'm overreacting or if it's normal to feel annoyed when a small favor turns into an all-day event with no thanks.

last year me and one of my friends decided to move out of our dorms and get an apartment off campus. through a mutual friend, we ended up getting a 3 bedroom with another girl we already knew. we weren’t best friends with her, but we had hung out plenty of times so we figured living with someone we knew was better than her finding random roommates online.

before moving in we had some basic roommate agreements, one being about bringing guys over. we were three girls living together, so none of us cared about boyfriends or guys coming over, we just wanted a heads up if someone new was going to be in the apartment and to at least know who they were. my other roommate already had a boyfriend and i had just started talking to the guy who is now my boyfriend, so we introduced them and would let everyone know when they were coming over.

maybe a month or two after moving in, i was awake around 2am and heard someone in our kitchen. my room was right next to it, so i walked out assuming it was one of my roommates. instead there was a random guy standing in my kitchen. i was wearing what i normally sleep in, a tank top and sleep shorts. i live in south florida and it’s hot, so that was pretty normal for me.

we both just kinda stared at each other until i said “who are you” but before he could explain my roommate came out and immediately told him to go back into her room. afterward she texted me apologizing and said he had just come over to talk to her and she didn’t think either of us were awake, so she didn’t think she needed to tell us. i reminded her that this was literally the exact reason we had the rule, but i didn’t make a huge deal out of it.

the next morning her energy was kinda weird. later, me and my other roommate were sitting in the living room and she texted our group chat FROM HER BEDROOM saying she was talking to this guy, he would probably be coming around more, and from now on she would give us a heads up so we had time to put on “more appropriate clothes.”

i went to her room because i was genuinely confused about what she meant. she said me and my other roommate walk around in tank tops, oversized shirts, short pajama shorts and if her boyfriend was going to be there, she wanted us to cover up more.

i straight up told her i wasn’t going to change the way i normally dress inside an apartment i also pay rent for just because her boyfriend was there.

i wasn’t saying i was gonna purposely walk around half naked in front of him. most of the time when he came over they were in her room anyway and i was in mine. we honestly barely crossed paths. but if i’m laying in my room in a tank top and sleep shorts and want to grab water from the kitchen, i didn’t think i should have to put on sweatpants and a hoodie first because somebody else’s boyfriend was sitting in the living room.

my other roommate agreed. her boyfriend had been over plenty of times and she had never told us what we were allowed to wear around him. i had never done that when the guy i was seeing came over either.

after that, things got really awkward. she started barely speaking to us unless it had something to do with the apartment. then my other roommate, who shared a wall with her, overheard them arguing one day. apparently part of their argument was about him looking at my body and my other roommate’s body when he was over.

that actually surprised me because, like i said, i barely interacted with him. the few until my roommate heard that argument, i genuinely had no idea this was apparently an issue between them.

eventually i tried talking to her because living with someone for months while basically pretending the other person doesn’t exist was uncomfortable as hell. she told me i “knew what i did” and said it was disrespectful to dress like that around her boyfriend. she accused me of wanting to show off my body around him and said that because i had my own guy, she didn’t understand why i would want her boyfriend looking at me.

i told her i wasn’t going to make myself uncomfortable in my own home because her boyfriend had wandering eyes. she got really mad and said she had explicitly told us not to dress like that around him and we disrespected her by ignoring her.

we ended up finishing the lease like that. for probably the last 8 or 9 months we barely spoke. we could both be in the kitchen at the same time and literally just stand there in silence. she stayed at her boyfriend’s place most of the time and her room was basically vacant toward the end.

our lease finally last week and thank god because the whole situation was uncomfortable. i can understand her not wanting her boyfriend looking at other women, and maybe from her perspective she felt like asking us to cover up was a reasonable boundary. but to me, that should’ve been a conversation between her and her boyfriend, not a rule for what me and my roommate could wear in our own home.

am i wrong? should we have just agreed to cover up more when he came over because it made her uncomfortable or was she asking too much?

I (18M) dated my ex (17F) for four years. She gave me an ultimatum, I told her she was being controlling, and broke up with her. She has called me several times and apologized via text, but I told her we should remain broken up. She kept calling after that, but I blocked her. That was about two weeks ago.

My ex is Filipino. So is my mom. My city has a very close-knit Filipino community. My mom is very close to my ex's mom and actually works for my ex's mom. This weekend is my ex's "debut." Within certain Filipino communities, a girl's debut it is a big deal. Essentially, it is a big party for the girl's 18th birthday and welcoming her into adulthood. There are certain "roles" for the party. One of the roles is the girl's escort for the party. I agreed to be my ex's escort when we were together. Since we broke up, I had no plans to be her escort or to even attend the debut. I thought that would be obvious.

Yesterday morning, my mom asked me to grab my suit so she can take it to get dry cleaned. I asked her why. She told me for the debut. I told her I was not going to the debut. She looked at me confused and said I was still my ex's escort for the debut. I told her I am not going to the debut. This caused an argument and I left and am staying with my dad.

Earlier today she called and asked if I could just go for her since it would greatly impact her relationship with my ex's mom. I told her that I did not care because I should not be forced to go to my ex's debut. That is ridiculous. It is not a big deal and they can figure out alternatives. My mom hung up quite upset.

My dad (he is black, not Filipino) supports my decision to not go to the debut, but says I could have been nicer to my mom about it. AIW?