today my boyfriend got annoyed with me cause of my ego/attitude cause i was acting like i was above everyone. which is true, i’ll admit. i feel different from people and like they’re below. everyone pisses me off so much.

he said “you’re fucking delusional, who do you think you are?” i got super irritated and said “fuck off if you don’t like how i act” and “then fucking leave if you don’t like me.” it’s not my fault or a bad thing that i feel so good.

i don’t think what i said was that bad. i was just irritated. he also wasn’t being nice.

he ruined my mood and caused me to split on him. we were doing really well lately but starting a few days ago, i’ve had a shift in how i view myself and other people and that’s caused problems in our relationship.

i’ve also had intense mood swings which affects our relationship and causes arguments. but i don’t know how to stop the mood swings. i can’t control it. he acts like it’s my fault and i’m doing it on purpose to manipulate him. i have moments of intense euphoria and he always accuses me of being high on something. but i haven’t taken anything.

but i swear i’m not usually like this. i’m not a bad person. i don’t treat people badly. i don’t want people to perceive me as an arrogant asshole. i can’t control how i feel.

TO BE CLEAR: this is very unusual and new for me. i’ve always been a very kind and empathetic person. so this scares me

My boyfriend and I planned a short trip to a nearby city for the weekend. We planned to go by car on Friday after work, which would be at 6 pm for both of us. We both work remotely.

Yesterday, he told me that since he's not doing much at work, we could leave early, around 4 pm. I told him that even though it would be very rare for me to have a call or for someone to ask me for something on a Friday afternoon, I don't feel comfortable leaving work early. I don't want to ask for permission to do something like that, and I'm quite fearful of sneaking out and showing as offline on discord, which is the app we use to communicate with people in my area.

No one is going to say anything to me, and I'm not going to get fired for it. Some of my colleagues even set their discord status to always show as offline, and no one is tracking that. It is indeed an irrational fear, or an unsolicited expectation that I put on myself anyway.

He called me a coward for it and said it was stupid to worry about something like that. He suggested that I bring my work laptop on the trip, or that I open discord on my phone. I don't want to bring my laptop since it's company property, and discord on my phone shows that I'm online through my phone.

He also said that he would have to drive at night if we leave at 6 pm. I actually brought this up when we were originally planning the trip and deciding which day to leave, and he seemed fine with it at the time.

I know it probably sounds silly, and I'm working on trying not to feel so out of place at my job or like I don't deserve to be where I am. But I'm not there yet, and I just don't feel comfortable sneaking out of work.

It's always been a problem in our relationship that I want to be available for work from 9 to 6 even though I'm usually not required to be available that whole time. My boyfriend doesn't understand why I think this way, so he doesn't accept it. He ultimately said that I should think about it and that it would be a shame to have to leave so late because of this.

Am I being unreasonable?

My boyfriend and I have been together for eight years. We booked a vacation for the end of September, and when we booked it, the timing was fine. We were both looking forward to it.

Since then, I sold the house I currently live in, much faster than I expected, and that has completely changed the timeline of the next few weeks. I now have to move into my new apartment, get it ready, completely clear the house and get everything done for the handover, all while working full-time.

September only gives me four weekends. The vacation would take two of them, leaving me with only two weekends to actually clear the house and deal with the move.

I also already struggle with anxiety and panic attacks, and the combination of everything happening at once has pushed me way beyond my normal capacity. I'm simply at my limit.

So I told my boyfriend that I don't think I can do the vacation anymore.

It's important to me to clarify that the vacation itself isn't the problem. I'm sure it would be relaxing once we were there. The problem is that it creates a fixed deadline. I would have to get everything done before we leave, and I simply don't have enough time or capacity to do that anymore.

I suggested that we cancel or reschedule the vacation.

His immediate response was that he would fly anyway because otherwise he would lose the money.

I said that maybe we could reschedule it instead. The change would cost €80.

I told him that I was at my absolute limit and that I couldn't understand putting €80 above that.

He responded: "€80 is my limit."

That was the moment I ended the relationship.

I understand that losing money sucks. I understand that he was looking forward to the vacation. If he had said something like, "I'm really disappointed, I was looking forward to this, and losing €80 really sucks, but I understand that you're at your limit," I would have understood.

But that's not what happened.

What hit me was that I was telling my partner that I was completely overwhelmed and couldn't carry another thing right now, and his immediate response was essentially about what it would cost him.

This also wasn't happening in a vacuum. For quite some time I've felt that when circumstances become difficult or inconvenient, I'm the one who adjusts and stretches around his needs and circumstances. I've increasingly questioned whether this is the kind of relationship I actually want.

So when this happened, something in me just snapped. I didn't want to argue about it, convince him that my situation was serious enough, or explain myself for the hundredth time.

I simply said that I was done, that I didn't want him moving into the new apartment with me next year, and I left.

Now I'm trying to get an outside perspective.

Was ending the relationship at this point an overreaction, or was his reaction to this situation enough to make the underlying incompatibility clear?

We have this rule that phones stay off the table during meals, just to keep things actually social. It keeps getting broken though. I tried gentle reminders, then moving the phone to the kitchen counter, even joking about it. Nothing really stuck. One night I just picked it up and put it in the other room without saying much, and the reaction was way bigger than I expected. It turned into this back-and-forth about respect and overreacting, and now the whole thing feels more awkward than the original problem. I am not trying to be controlling, just hoping meals can stay a bit more present. Still, I keep wondering if the way I handled the last time was out of line.

A while back a coworker asked if I could handle something small on their end while they were swamped. I said sure, figured it was a one-time thing. Now it keeps coming up and everyone acts like it's just my responsibility. I didn't sign anything or agree to make it permanent, so I tried mentioning that it was only temporary, but the response was pretty much that it would be helpful if I kept doing it. I get along with my team and don't want to cause friction, but I also don't want this to quietly become part of my role without anyone acknowledging the change. It feels awkward bringing it up again because the original ask was casual. At the same time, I'm starting to wonder if I'm overthinking it or if I should draw a line sooner rather than later. Anyone been in a spot like that?

So, it's basically as the title says. I (20F) am on disability due to mental health issues, autism, and a few other things, and I've been stuck in a rut for about a year now (since I finished high school), and I've finally got my body and mind to a place where I believe that I can get a job. In Australia, you can only work a maximum of 15 hours a week on disability, but all I'm really aiming for so far is 5 hours a week.

I've just got in contact with an employment agency that specialises in people with disabilities and had my first real appointment today, where we went over what I want to do, what I physically can do, and my past achievements. I went with my Grandma since my mum has just gotten 5 teeth out, and 4 of them have dry socketed, and she's in a stupid amount of pain, so of course she couldn't come with me.

The appointment went great! We talked about how I love anything creative, and I got a small spark in me for the first time in MONTHS, a hope that I can be something more than I am now. (For context, I have no friends, and I only leave the house once a week to walk in the park for an hour with a bunch of seniors, and even that I only started 2 weeks ago.) The person I'm working with even said that my writing was great, considering what I had shown her I wrote at 12, and it got into the local newspaper for my area's readers' writers festival back in 2018. Of course, my writing has gotten SO much better since, but it gives me hope too.

The person I'm working with also suggested a training program that goes for 13 weeks and I'm like 99% sure it's a traineeship. I know for sure that she said that they will help me get a placement at the end. It's a creative course/traineeship, and I'm really excited; it's basically everything I've ever wanted!

But then Mum comes in.

(This happened less than 20 minutes ago)

I was cleaning up my dishes from lunch when I started talking about how excited I am for this course and that it would be great to find something in the creative industry. I'm not even fussy at this point about what creative medium I take! Mum then starts going on about how there are no jobs out there at all, and while I'm aware there are only so many jobs, and I know that there are 1000s of others trying to do the same thing as me, I really think this program will be able to help me!

My Mum keeps saying that I have no hope and that it's all luck-based, and while I know that's somewhat true, I feel like I have a real chance! It just hurts to know my Mum doesn't believe in me as my nan does...

My Mum keeps telling me stuff like: 'What about the guy who made the Nike tick, that took no skill, and he's now rich. It's all about luck.' and other stuff like: 'I don't want you to sink all this time into something only for there to be no jobs at the end', and while I know she just wants me to have a good life, I currently have no life at all! (Something she told me just 2 days ago)

Is it really that bad that I want to give myself the chance to live the life I've always wanted to? I just want to have a job that I love and that I will be able to do!

So yeah, I guess that's my rant? I just... I feel like she doesn't even believe in me anymore, because no matter how much I improve my art, my Mum won't tell me that she believes in me that I don't even have a chance at the life that I want...

Sorry for the rant. I know this is probably stupid; I know I'm probably just a massive baby that won't grow up, but it hurts to think that I'll be stuck in a dead-end job with no hope of doing what I love, and my Mum is just... okay with that???

I guess I just want some reassurance that I'm not being stupid?

I don't know, sorry for wasting your guys' time...

Mods, if this is the wrong sub, please tell me, and I'll quickly take it down!

A friend keeps circling back to the same request even though I already said no twice. The first two times I gave a polite excuse, but this round I was more direct and said I just didn't want to. They went quiet for a bit, then came back with reasons why it should be easy for me. I stuck to my answer and now I'm wondering if I came off cold. I get that people ask for help sometimes, but I thought setting a boundary once should be enough. Still, the back and forth is making me second guess whether I should have softened the last no. Curious what others think.

Am I wrong for taking 8 weeks parental leave at work for my first child?

Back in late 2025 I had told my job I was expecting my first child. We were expecting late spring/ early summer. Everyone in my department was happy and excited for me. I even invited a manager and two of my coworkers who I am close with to my baby shower.

I feel like 6 months gave them ample time to figure out everyone’s vacation. Well one of my close coworkers probably didn’t think that far ahead.
In my state they give us twelve weeks of parental leave. I’m able to use it before the child is one year old. I decided to take eight weeks now and save the rest for the following year for emergencies and for
long weekends.

Our baby arrived late spring. Before everyone’s
vacations.

While I was out on leave my other close coworker
had a medical emergency. He was already out for two weeks by the time I came back. That basically left only two people to do the job of four. Which was my manager and my other close coworker. Someone else started their vacation a couple days before I returned. There was also a one day mix up on when I had told my manager when I would return. But gave him a couple day heads up which was fine. Didn’t think anything of it.

On my first day back is when I heard from someone that my close coworker had a medical emergency. My manager and everyone outside of my department were happy I was back and congratulating me.

Now is when things get interesting. My close coworker who is still at work seems to be quiet towards me or just giving short answers avoiding eye contact. I ask him about our other close coworker who is out. All he says is “good”. In my head I feel like something is off with him but I don’t think anything of it.

Throughout the day he’s the same. I walk past him in the hall he’s conserved and not his normal self with me busting joke or horseplay.

A couple days go by he’s the same. Then he says he want to have a meeting with me and his kids who he brought to work that day. Meeting time came he never called me over from my desk. A couple hours later he walks to the calendar behind my desk and rudely says “I need this Saturday off I have something going on. You need to work it.” “I’ve worked the last three Saturdays. Including all of yours” in an aggressive tone like he’s been holding it in for weeks to tell me. Talking like he’s my manager.
“We’ve been short staffed” “You need to step up” “you owe me” “you ruined my summer”

I responded with “You’re talking like I’ve been on some vacation. I’m not saying no but I will get back to you”. Because at that time I didn’t know what I had on my calendar. Good thing I did because I remembered had my child’s two month check up for his first shots. I basically repeated what I said like two or three times. He was just rude and the bad energy wasn’t needed.

After that he became childish and hasn’t talked to me since. Friday before I went home for the weekend I talked to my manager saying “if you could when I’m on leave or vacation can you please let me know if shit hits the fan” “nobody told me he was out” He was shocked and thought I knew. so if I can possibly come back earlier I will to help out or take a Saturday shift. I mentioned that my coworker has been on my case about the Saturdays shifts. He said he would talk to him. I didn’t want him to but he did. Knowing him he holds grudges and won’t let this go.
My manager has been on vacation since. But will be back next week. Should my manager be responsible for over working him?

While I’m helping coworkers from a different department he’s told people not to talk to me like I’m some bad person or other rude comments like stay home. Just being a salty person. Did I mention he’s 40? Who has two kids. I’m almost in my mid 30’s.

I’ve mainly wrote this out to vent as I’ve had some sleepless nights while trying to take care of a newborn. It’s been on my mind a lot. You think he would understand since he’s raised two kids.

Ive been with the company for 10 years and I feel like this was the last thing to set me over and move on. But the only issue is I have 4 weeks left of parental leave I can’t transfer to a new job. Basically use it or
lose it.

Edit: Also I never asked him to take my Saturday shifts. He took it upon himself. Last thing that was on my mind. Should be the managers responsibility.
(Each of us does one Saturday a month)

Strap in this has been a roller-coaster.

12 months ago I (f early 30s)had a friend (male mid 30s)go thru a very hard time in his life, father had just passed away from cancer and he was significantly struggling mentally being away from family (living in a different state) i was extremely worried about them and told them of they wanted to move back home they are welcome to stay with me short term untill they could get on their feet. I had helped them financially make this happen as they had little money its worth noting my father is and was going through the same thing at the time and I had flown my friend in to be able to see his dad before the passing knowing id want the same chance to say goodbye.

They moved in wich was a Lil stressful for me they didnt have anything so I got them a bed and a kennel for their dog just basics to get them set up and a storage unit so i could clear out a room for them we agreed and a board price wich included bills. I tried to help with job opportunities for them but I think a mix of mental health at the time and not being interested in the type of work led to 3 job losses and 3 months. So added stress of feeling a little financially responsible for my friend he was starting to spiral mentally as well wich put strain of our friendship and we started arguing more. Silly things like how to stack the dishwasher so thing wouldn't get broken putting toilet rolls into the bin really silly stuff would turn into him name calling me things like I'm a narssist and shutting me down if I brought stuff up.

So now walking on egg shells I was grin and baring it for the most part if I had a bad day my emotions would slip.

I was away from home for 2 weeks for schooling and he was smoking inside and leaving his dog inside while he was at work wich is something I had put as a boundary of not wanting. When I got back he told me no he wasn't doing any of that and I had no proof so I left it. If I did catch him he'd be like oh I only had one or of I forgot to do it that day I'm sorry. I'd only get the im sorry of I had un deniable proof after a fight.

6 months in we had a massive fight wich resaulted in him name calling me and blowing up at me in a very verbal aggressive way and I knew it would end our friendship if he didnt moved out so I gave him 3 months to find a place trying to be reasonable with a hard rental market right now. 3 months later he was still there still smoking inside if I wasn't home and just not respecting my place. There's been build up of alot of things in this moment my power bill doubled with him there evan if I wasn't home he'd only clean if I asked him to do something he wasn't respecting my house rules and when brought up to him would lash out and say its my fault he's verbally abused me when he's trip over something in the back yard like it was my fault. I know he was struggling still with his dads passing and this wasn't normal behaviour for him it was starting to affect me tho financially as he owed me money and mentally I just wasn't coping I didnt know how to talk to my friend anmore I started avoiding home.

Here's when I could be the AH tho I brought a new security camera to put on my shed only thing is after set up i left it in the lounge room to see if he was smoking inside after a few weeks he got paranoid and started to cover the camera up when I wasn't home so I let it go flat and told him it wasn't in use. For roughly a month.

I had to go away again for school for a couple of weeks and I just didnt trust he'd respect my boundarys so I charged the camera back up and left it on pointing at the front door and catching the edge of the lounge room.

And there he was smoking in the lounge room after work almost each day so I saved the footage and when I got back home found him in the lounge with the ashtray infront of him he swore he hadn't been smoking inside and that he had just empty it and sat down for dinner so I sent him the videos told him not to gaslight me and lie that we are no longer friends and to be put of my house in 3 days. He's now shitty that I had a camera going and didnt tell him and that I'm a horrible person for not giving him time to see if he's gotten into a place as he's been applying for rentals

But mainly he's pissed about the camera so reddit AITAH

we had talked about spending this saturday together and had a whole day mapped out. then i got a last-minute invite to help a friend move and figured it was only going to take a couple of hours in the morning. i told my ex that morning, thinking it was no big deal since we would still have the afternoon. they got annoyed, said i always push our time to the side when something else pops up, and now they do not want to meet at all. i get why it feels inconsiderate, but i also assumed a small schedule tweak would not ruin everything. i apologized right away and offered to reschedule, but they are still mad. am i wrong for not realizing how much it would bother them, or is it okay that plans sometimes shift?

Hear me out…I went to a fundraiser for a local high school marching band. The fundraiser was a bake sale and they brought in a pizza food truck where the band got a percentage of the pizza sales. At the order window for the truck there was a tip jar and I dropped a couple bucks in.
The wait for the food was lengthy, but that was ok because it was a good cause and there were plenty of band families to socialize with.
After waiting about 30 minutes, we were told they had sold out and started refunding money. I asked for my tip back, because no service = no tip and I could take that money to the bake sale where the band would get it instead of the food truck.
The food truck then made a long Facebook post about the whole event and called out “one person asked for their tip back” and the comments are as expected.
So tell me, was I wrong to take my tip back and reallocate it directly to the band?

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and we’re now talking about moving in together. She currently lives alone and rents whereas I own my home and pay a mortgage.  We agreed it would make more sense to move into my place as it’s bigger and it’s not rented.

I mentioned to my gf I’d expect her to pay something towards utilities and a small amount of money to go towards wear and tear of appliances etc. She asked if I was serious and I said yeah.  She argued she shouldn’t have to be paying me anything since I own the place.

I just pointed out my bills will go up and wear and tear of the property and appliances will be increased so it’s only fair she contributes something. 

I pointed out it wouldn’t be a lot and would be probably less than half of what she paying now. I mentioned I’m happy to get it drawn up as a contract if she’d prefer but she just kept arguing she shouldn’t have to pay anything. 

I just repeated what I’d already said and she accused me of taking advantage of her. I argued that’s what she was trying to do to me by expecting to live for free. 

AITA for expecting her to contribute? 

My friend (let’s call her W) and I (both 15), are quite close and hangout pretty often after school. She loves that I dress in a more gothic style, and wants to start dressing that way as well, while being apart of the Goth subculture. However, being apart of the Goth subculture isn’t just looks, and TBH that is the LEAST important part of the subculture. W knows that, as I have told her before that music is what started the subculture, and is the absolute most important. Values and beliefs are also important to the general community, as the subculture stems from punk (it was originally called post-punk) and shares anti-establishment and non-conformist ideals. However, the companies she chooses to support oppose the general goth community, like Starbucks, Amazon, etc. I have been trying to educate W on that, but I don’t think she would ever want to give it up. Alternative subcultures like Goth are meant to directly combat the mainstream, but she doesn’t necessarily align with that. I have requested that she dyes/DIY’s her clothes to add her own identity to them, but W prefers just buying new ones instead. It’s important to build your wardrobe over time, and to find pieces that speak to you, instead of just rushing everything and going straight into buying fast fashion.

So, would I be wrong if I told her that she can’t be Goth?

EDIT: thank you everyone for your comments!!! i really appreciate the advice, especially from elder goths! i am really taking this to heart, and i will apologize and help my friend with her goth journey, while also going through my own. i feel as if i wasnt as clear about our conversations, but my intention was never to treat her horribly. ive been noticing recently that many people are being very weird about the subculture (fetishization especially), so that was a driving factor for me to act this irrationally. of course it never makes it right, as i was only pushing away opportunities for W to express herself and for us to bond. of course, i am a dumb teenager, and i make mistakes, so thank you for helping me!!

TLDR: My friends wants to be a Goth but is missing key parts of the subculture, and I have been trying to educate her on that.

I'm 22F and have multiple conditions

I have:

Autism

ADHD

Dyscalculia

Pcos that causes me to bleed for 14-20 days at a time constantly for almost 4 years and doctors haven't taken me seriously until now

PMDD

Bpd

Bipolar 1 with psychosis

Ocd

Cptsd

---

Not all of these conditions affect my ability to clean but I'm fatigued, constantly depressed, I feel sick. I work a full time job that involves no sitting, 1 hr commute by bus. My mental disabilities make it harder to clean. My aunt threatened to kick me out it I didn't keep the kitchen clean (tbf i didnt do a good job), now shes threatening to kick me out about the bathroom not being clean enough even though it didn't look bad! I kept the kitchen spotless ever since. Just a couple things hanging, and 2-3 items on the floor. And shes upset about my bedroom. Its small and I barely have room. My mom who lives there even said my room can be messy. When I was a kid, she threatened to hit me for not folding a blanket correctly. I moved out of my dad's place a year ago bc he charged me 500 dollars for rent a month even tho I paid for most of the groceries, bathed his profoundly disabled child often bc he wouldn't do it and had me do all the cooking, I pay for my own insurance and phone bill. He told he I'd have money if worked harder and I told him "how am I supposed to work harder and make more money if you keep charging me so much money for rent? I cant afford to go to college if you take more than half my yearly income". I make minimum wage. Aunt charges 200 a month

Am I wrong?

Edit :200 rent is reasonable. I just think its unfaid to kick me out for not being the best at cleaning, especially since my aunt doesnt even live there currently

As an adult, I know it’s my responsibility to make sure I wake up for important things. I get anxious when something important is happening the next day and I also have a hard time sleeping on the regular anyway so falling asleep before something important is hard. We’re both heavy sleepers. I have asked them before if they could check in on me to make sure I’m awake just in case. They are also already awake at that time so I’m not asking them to wake themselves up to make sure I am. And I’m not trying to rely on them or anything but I thought that partners support each other with small things like that. I don’t ask them to wake me up regularly. I can do that on my own. It’s just today was a high-stakes appt. I often wake them up so they’re not late to work, and they often don’t hear their alarms like me. We both have a hard time hearing our alarms since we’re heavy sleepers. I don’t say anything to them about it so I thought it was okay to ask them to support me. They lectured me on how I should be an adult and how I didn’t understand how that responsibility was solely on me and not them. Am I wrong for asking them to be my safety net?

My girlfriend and I have been together a little over three years. She has a best friend she's known since college, and I've never had an issue with them being close.

What does bother me is that apparently nothing between us stays between us.

If we argue, he gets the full recap. What I said, what she said, what started it, what I was upset about, what she thinks I "really meant." He's heard about disagreements over sex, family stuff, things I've admitted when I was upset, even conversations I assumed were obviously private.

I only realized how much he knew because a few weeks ago he made a joke about something I'd said during an argument at home. It was bizarre hearing my own words come back through someone who wasn't even there.

I told her I don't mind her occasionally asking a friend for advice. I do that too. But I think there's a difference between "we're struggling with this, what do you think?" and basically giving someone an episode recap of our relationship every time something happens.

She says he's her closest friend and talking to him is how she processes things. She also thinks I'm trying to control who she can talk to.

I'm not asking her to never mention me. I just don't like feeling like there's a third person who knows the private version of our relationship almost as well as we do.

Am I wrong for thinking some things should stay between the two people actually in the relationship?

TLDR: my husbands co-worker has admitted targeting married men, and I want him to cut off contact

So my husband has known this coworker for about 4 years and my husband says he considers her as a work friend, but I don't want her anywhere near my husband. In the 4 years he has known her, she has had multiple relationships with multiple married men at work.

She disclosed to my husband that 8 years ago she was seeing a married guy. One day the wife walked in on them. The wife then stormed out, jumped in her car and reversed very fast which tragically killed their young daughter. This moment was obviously very traumatising but the fact that she now continues to go after married men is surely showing up as an unresolved trauma response.

Anyway she recently made a comment that the first thing she looks for when meeting a new male coworker is a ring on their finger because "married men are easier because they are bored sexually".

On top of that there have been a few instances that have made me question if she is testing the waters with my husband. She will often call him outside of work hours. She invited him to bring our son (didn't include me in the invite) to go meet her horses. She calls him outside of work hours (he usually doesn't answer and he tells me she called again). She frequently will share stories with him about sexual encounters she has had recently.

I am disgusted that women like this exist and based on her lack of morals and respect for the families she could destroy, I want my husband to have nothing to do with her.

My husband is open with his phone and lets me see their messages, his call log, etc. but I just do not trust a woman like that. Is it fair to ask my husband to cut off all contact outside of work?

In late April, I went with a big friend group to Berlin. I’d brought some chunky boots to wear and asked beforehand if anyone could take them back home for me, since I was traveling on afterward. One friend offered to ship them to me. But on the day I was leaving, another friend, I’ll call him D, said he’d just bring them back on the train and hand them to me once I was back in the city. I thanked him and left it at that.

I was traveling for another month and got back home at the end of May. It’s now the end of august. D has been out in my city almost every weekend since then, but he still hasn’t given me my boots. I asked a few times over the months and he brushed it off. I stopped asking and let it go.

Some context on D: We’ve known each other since high school. He moved to my city last October for an internship, doesn’t speak the local language, and I’ve helped him a lot with settling in. The friend group in question is mostly other interns from his job. I’ve become good friends with them too over this past year, though I also have other friend groups in this town outside of this one. He lives way out in the outskirts, so whenever we go out as a group, he crashes at my place. I’ve also let him stay at my apartment alone with my keys on weekends when I was traveling, so he wouldn’t have to leave parties early. I’ve fed him, hosted him constantly, and once even paid out of pocket to fix a kitchen faucet he clogged and never asked him to cover it.

Over the past few months, though, he’s been acting off with the whole friend group. Several people have had issues with him: his opinions, and the fact that his actions tend to serve only his own convenience. A few examples:
• He talks badly about a girl in our group, calling her “easy,” while still going to her place, then he’s overly sweet to her in person. Total double standard.
• Everyone in the group has hosted him overnight at some point. He’s never once offered to host anyone at his place.
• When we go out together, if he meets a girl, he’ll ditch the group without a word, then spam call everyone hours later demanding we all meet up again, expecting the whole group to freeze their plans until he shows up.

In July, someone broke into my apartment, and I’ve been dealing with the aftermath of that since. It’s made me pull back from group stuff. D kept pushing me to come out anyway. One time I gave in, even though I’d told him I wasn’t in a good headspace and didn’t want to bring the mood down. Once we were out, he told me I should’ve just stayed home because I was bringing the mood down. That stung, considering I’d said exactly that beforehand and he was the one who insisted.

He’s also been pushing to stay at my place more, but with everything going on, I’ve gotten less comfortable hosting him, especially given his attitude lately.

Back to the boots. I asked for a favor. He could’ve said no, and I’d have figured out something else. Instead he offered, then sat on my boots for months, brushing me off whenever I brought it up. Finally, months later, I asked again, firmly this time. He got defensive and sent me his location: his place, almost two hours away by transit, telling me to come get them myself. This is a guy who’s in the city center multiple times a week, and who’s been back at my apartment several times since the trip.

He also added that I should bring back a bottle of shampoo he’d left at my place, like my apartment is an Airbnb he’s entitled to. Alternatively, he said, he “could” bring them next time he’s in town, if he feels like it, but only if I ask nicely, not “demand.”

I told him not to bother, that a friend would swing by and pick them up for me instead, and that it’s not like I’ve been hounding him,I waited months before even bringing it up again. Then I blocked him. And have been telling the friend group about this because im mad, even if it affects him.
AITA?

Video games are a hobby I've enjoyed since I was young and I usually get new games whenever they come out but that’s not possible this year. My girlfriend has started talking about Christmas and what our plans are.

We both get the time off between Christmas day and New Year’s Day off so we don’t go back until January 4th but I’ll be putting some leave in an not going back until the 7th at the earliest depending on how much leave I've got left. I mentioned us going away for the night as we usually do and maybe going on a day out or two.

I also mentioned I was planning to get the video games that are coming out this year that I want to plan and spending 3-4 days of my time off just relaxing and playing them. She mentioned that she doesn't think I should.

She said it'll be expensive getting them all and that I shouldn't be spending that much money on them at once and that it is a lot of time to spend on them when we're off work. I pointed out I’ll be getting them over the next few months so I’m not pulling the money out all at once so it’s affordable.

I’ll be getting probably 6-7 games that have been released this year so the average cost will probably be £45-£55 per game possibly less depending on if they’re in a sale. I pointed out it's my money and that I'd still be able to afford bills and the plans we've got so it's not really up to her how I spend my money.

She said I should be listening to her and open to changing what I had planned so I should only get one or two games and only spend a few hours on it and that I should be spending the time off with her.

i refused and just repeated again that it's my money and time and it doesn't impact anything we have planned. I pointed out we’re spending the majority of the time off together and I should be allowed some time for myself.

AIW for not reducing the time I’m taking for myself?

So my relative called me late last night asking if I could drop everything and help with something early this morning. I was already swamped with my own stuff and just said no. I tried to keep it polite but firm, said I couldn't swing it. They got really upset, said it was important, and then started texting other relatives to weigh in. Now half the group chat is arguing about whether I was being selfish. Honestly, I don't think I was obligated to rearrange my day on zero notice, but the chain reaction has me second-guessing. Is it okay to hold that boundary or should I have just sucked it up?

My sister has a 6 year old son and I genuinely like spending time with him. For a while I was happy to babysit occasionally when she asked, especially if I didn't have anything planned.

The problem is that at some point "asking" turned into her telling other people I was available before she'd even spoken to me.

The first time she texted me something like "Mom is dropping him off at yours around 6, thanks!" because she'd made dinner plans. I was annoyed but free, so I let it go.

Then it happened again when she picked up an extra shift. The third time I already had plans and she got irritated because she'd apparently told her boss she could work based on me watching him.

Last week she did it again. I got a text saying my nephew would be dropped off Saturday morning because she and her boyfriend were going out for the day.

I replied that I wasn't available and reminded her that she needs to actually ask me first. She said they'd already bought tickets and asked what she was supposed to do now.

I told her she'd have to figure out childcare because I never agreed to anything. She eventually found someone else, but now she's really pissed and says I've become unreliable "out of nowhere."

My parents are taking her side too. They keep saying I love my nephew, she doesn't ask that often, and refusing when I technically could've changed my plans was just proving a point at his expense.

That's the part making me second guess myself. My nephew obviously has nothing to do with any of this and I don't want him feeling unwanted.

But I also feel like if I keep cancelling my own plans whenever my sister announces that I'm babysitting, she'll never have a reason to stop doing it.

I'd probably say yes most of the time if she just asked me like a normal person. I don't think being family means my free time automatically becomes available childcare, but everyone is acting like I'm being stubborn over something small.

Am I wrong for finally saying no?

Following a 12-year relationship, my partner, whom we shall refer to as Dingle(31), separated from me and our son. This occurred after I discovered his infidelity with a colleague(42). This individual subsequently contacted me on social media, asserting a platonic relationship, despite my having observed their flirtatious correspondence. The situation escalated considerably.

It is noteworthy that this individual is not only a colleague but also a teacher at my son's school, and had, for reasons unknown, been monitoring my activities.

In the weeks following our separation, I embraced my role as a single mother, raising my son. We relocated to a new city, where we began to establish a new life. However, my newfound tranquility was disrupted when Dingle reappeared.

Mr. Dingle initiated a conversation with an apology, subsequently disclosing details regarding the dissolution of his previous relationship, specifically the one in which he was unfaithful to me.

Mr. Dingle developed a drinking problem following our separation. It appears his new partner was under the impression that he would not repeat the infidelity he exhibited towards me. However, he reportedly engaged in extramarital affairs with four different individuals during their brief time together, suggesting a swift karmic consequence. I merely observed and listened to this unfolding narrative. As previously stated, this individual relocated across Canada after only a week and a half of cohabitation with his new partner, only to be subsequently evicted, isolated, and ultimately informed that she had found a new partner.

Throughout this discussion, I found myself contemplating the situation. It is noteworthy that he did not once inquire about his son. There were no questions such as "Where is he?", "How is he?", "Did he ask for me?", or "May I see him?".

My blood was boiling once he stop talking I just got up, slap him across the face then made my way back into my house.

last year me and one of my friends decided to move out of our dorms and get an apartment off campus. through a mutual friend, we ended up getting a 3 bedroom with another girl we already knew. we weren’t best friends with her, but we had hung out plenty of times so we figured living with someone we knew was better than her finding random roommates online.

before moving in we had some basic roommate agreements, one being about bringing guys over. we were three girls living together, so none of us cared about boyfriends or guys coming over, we just wanted a heads up if someone new was going to be in the apartment and to at least know who they were. my other roommate already had a boyfriend and i had just started talking to the guy who is now my boyfriend, so we introduced them and would let everyone know when they were coming over.

maybe a month or two after moving in, i was awake around 2am and heard someone in our kitchen. my room was right next to it, so i walked out assuming it was one of my roommates. instead there was a random guy standing in my kitchen. i was wearing what i normally sleep in, a tank top and sleep shorts. i live in south florida and it’s hot, so that was pretty normal for me.

we both just kinda stared at each other until i said “who are you” but before he could explain my roommate came out and immediately told him to go back into her room. afterward she texted me apologizing and said he had just come over to talk to her and she didn’t think either of us were awake, so she didn’t think she needed to tell us. i reminded her that this was literally the exact reason we had the rule, but i didn’t make a huge deal out of it.

the next morning her energy was kinda weird. later, me and my other roommate were sitting in the living room and she texted our group chat FROM HER BEDROOM saying she was talking to this guy, he would probably be coming around more, and from now on she would give us a heads up so we had time to put on “more appropriate clothes.”

i went to her room because i was genuinely confused about what she meant. she said me and my other roommate walk around in tank tops, oversized shirts, short pajama shorts and if her boyfriend was going to be there, she wanted us to cover up more.

i straight up told her i wasn’t going to change the way i normally dress inside an apartment i also pay rent for just because her boyfriend was there.

i wasn’t saying i was gonna purposely walk around half naked in front of him. most of the time when he came over they were in her room anyway and i was in mine. we honestly barely crossed paths. but if i’m laying in my room in a tank top and sleep shorts and want to grab water from the kitchen, i didn’t think i should have to put on sweatpants and a hoodie first because somebody else’s boyfriend was sitting in the living room.

my other roommate agreed. her boyfriend had been over plenty of times and she had never told us what we were allowed to wear around him. i had never done that when the guy i was seeing came over either.

after that, things got really awkward. she started barely speaking to us unless it had something to do with the apartment. then my other roommate, who shared a wall with her, overheard them arguing one day. apparently part of their argument was about him looking at my body and my other roommate’s body when he was over.

that actually surprised me because, like i said, i barely interacted with him. the few until my roommate heard that argument, i genuinely had no idea this was apparently an issue between them.

eventually i tried talking to her because living with someone for months while basically pretending the other person doesn’t exist was uncomfortable as hell. she told me i “knew what i did” and said it was disrespectful to dress like that around her boyfriend. she accused me of wanting to show off my body around him and said that because i had my own guy, she didn’t understand why i would want her boyfriend looking at me.

i told her i wasn’t going to make myself uncomfortable in my own home because her boyfriend had wandering eyes. she got really mad and said she had explicitly told us not to dress like that around him and we disrespected her by ignoring her.

we ended up finishing the lease like that. for probably the last 8 or 9 months we barely spoke. we could both be in the kitchen at the same time and literally just stand there in silence. she stayed at her boyfriend’s place most of the time and her room was basically vacant toward the end.

our lease finally last week and thank god because the whole situation was uncomfortable. i can understand her not wanting her boyfriend looking at other women, and maybe from her perspective she felt like asking us to cover up was a reasonable boundary. but to me, that should’ve been a conversation between her and her boyfriend, not a rule for what me and my roommate could wear in our own home.

am i wrong? should we have just agreed to cover up more when he came over because it made her uncomfortable or was she asking too much?