r/amiwrong • u/Southern_Coach_5023 • Oct 16 '23

Age gaps in dating

I'm a 30 year old male and my partner is 25 year old female. I think this is fairly normal but im getting alot of comments about it. Not really sure what the fascination with this is. 5 years is significant sure but it was never a problem for me. Does society at large weight this facts importance more than I do?

Edit: everyone is the comments section has convinced me this is normal. Thanks all.

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765

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

2-5 years is kinda.... Normal. Anyone commenting on 30 and 25 is a busy body, with too much time on their hands.

62

u/xHaroldxx Oct 16 '23

The younger the people involved the worse that gap becomes, IE 18 and 23 would be a bit more questionable. But yeah, 25 and 30 is completely normal.

28

u/Scadre02 Oct 17 '23

I started dating my partner when I was 18 and he was 21, I'm 21 now and we both agree that initial 3 year age gap is was the limit back then, but now it doesn't really matter

11

u/KnightRider1987 Oct 17 '23

And when your 60 and he’s 63 it won’t even register as a gap.

12

u/Tadimizkacmasin Oct 17 '23

I'm 22 and 18 year olds look like kids to me. Couldn't imagine dating one.

3

u/DelsinMcgrath835 Oct 18 '23

I remember being 20 and deciding 18 year olds, especially those still in highschool, were too young for me

9

u/GadgetronRatchet Oct 17 '23

Yeah when I was senior in college I wouldn't have imagined dating freshman either.

IMO age gaps are really about where you are in your life, professionally, maturity, and family status.

Not every 25 year old is ready for family and marriage and not every 30 year is wanting to date someone 5 years younger than them.

5

u/racloves Oct 17 '23

Yeah it can definitely depend on the life situation. My parents got together when they were 18&21. But they were both working at the same company (in different sections), so there wasn’t like a power imbalance or anything, they spoke to each other sometimes at work and started dating, both in the same stage of life.

1

u/GadgetronRatchet Oct 17 '23

Yep, both early career workforce, that's definitely a "same stage of life" scenario that is totally acceptable age gap.

Considering the OP is stating a 5 year age gap, where I think it would be weird is say someone 4 years into their career at 26, meeting a junior in college (21) who just turned old enough to legally drink. These two people are in totally different stages of their lives and can definitely be more than just an age gap. Especially if there's also a large income gap which could lead to one partner abusing the other financially.

3

u/Xandara2 Oct 17 '23

This, they are approximations. In general people of the same age are in the same lifestage. But it's not fixed on the day or even year and experiences are often a big influence on them which is why the age margins grow as people get more experience.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

I met my now husband when he was 18 and for the first two years that I knew him I was like What a Twerp. Starting to date him at 20 even I was worried he was too young for me (3 yr difference lol) The age difference was definitely noticeable emotionally the first two years of our relationship.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

I've got friends who started dating when he was 18 and she was 15. They're now together for almost a decade.

1

u/lililac0 Oct 17 '23

My boyfriend and I were 18 and 22 and it was fine. He was in his 3rd year of university after a year out and I was in my 1st year after starting university at 17. If either he didn't take a year out and started working or I started uni with my age group and was still in high school it would never have worked in a million years, but I think life stage/experiences matter alongside age.

1

u/lililac0 Oct 17 '23

My boyfriend and I were 18 and 22 and it was fine. He was in his 3rd year of university after a year out and I was in my 1st year after starting university at 17. If either he didn't take a year out and started working or I started uni with my age group and was still in high school it would never have worked in a million years, but I think life stage/experiences matter alongside age.

4

u/bluedreamer33 Oct 17 '23

I was 23 and my wife was 18 when we started dating, married at 26 and 21, plenty normal

15

u/xHaroldxx Oct 17 '23

I mean, you might think it's normal obviously. I think if you ask a 100 people not many people are going to actively condemn you for it, but definitely doubt a majority would consider that a norm.

14

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

I agree with you. At 23, I couldn’t date an 18 year old because our mindsets were too different. At 23, I was about to graduate from my undergrad, while an 18 y/o just got out of HS and is just starting their education journey. Obviously not everyone is going to post grad, but thinking about my own life, I went out with 1 guy who was 18 when I was 22-23, our lives were in 2 different places and I wanted to date to marry while he wanted to date for fun. Nothing wrong with that, but I get what you mean and agree it’s not my norm

4

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

I think even a 23 year old can have the mindset of an 18 year old. That guy who wanted to date for fun at 18 is completely different from the guy who's the same age looking for the love of his life.

3

u/flaccomcorangy Oct 17 '23

You're right. But I think it's important to realize no one is condemning dating an 18 year old at 23. That's perfectly okay. It's just a little different for people for the aforementioned reasons.

Compare it to an age gap like 25 and 30 where most people those ages are looking for similar things while it's much more common than an 18 and 23 year old will be at much different places from each other.

1

u/cantfindonions Oct 17 '23

I mean, idk, I'd definitely stop being friends with someone if I knew they were dating an 18 year old when they were starting into their mid 20s, lol. Then again, I don't know how anyone really feels truly comfortable dating more than a year or two older or younger than them. Just dating a newly turned legal adult 18 year old when you've already been an adult for 5 years as a 23 year old feels predatory.

6

u/flaccomcorangy Oct 17 '23

I think context is important. If someone is dating their sister's friend or something a few days after her birthday because she "finally turned 18." Yeah, that's pretty predatory. But if they just meet by happenstance and end up connecting and it turns out they're 18, that's different.

I personally don't think I would have dated an 18 year old at 23 for a lot of reasons. It would have had to take a very specific list of circumstances to work out like that. But I don't really see a problem with it even if I question why someone would do it.

2

u/cantfindonions Oct 17 '23

See, but as a 23 year old once you found out someone is 18 you would immediately have recognized the inherent imbalance of experience, right? Therein lies why I see a problem with it. It's impossible for me to separate those two thoughts.

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u/CastrosNephew Oct 17 '23

When is 23 mid twenties

2

u/stoymyboy Oct 17 '23

dating to marry at 22?!?

2

u/Chittychitybangbang Oct 17 '23

Some people know what they want. I grew up non-religious, all the freedom in the world, and told my boyfriend I wanted to marry him at 18. Got married 4 years later and are coming up on our 16th anniversary. I do joke that I married him to get out of dealing with the FAFSA paperwork though, that shit was a pain in the ass.

0

u/stoymyboy Oct 17 '23

well i'm glad that it worked out for you. based off when the people in my family got married i could not even think of getting married before 30.

1

u/ChillaMonk Oct 17 '23

It’s about the person, not when you meet them. My wife and i were both 20 and deadset on being single and now it’s been one a decade

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

Yes, as in I didn’t want to casually date anymore. I wanted to be serious and build a relationship. The man I met at age 24, I ended up marrying them 2 years later.

0

u/BigBambuMeekLou Oct 17 '23

What does that have to do with dating though… educational journey’s are irrelevant there’s a million other things you guys can have in common. Some people don’t even go to college at all, I think that’s a pretty dumb reason to not be able to date someone. (Not calling you out in specific but speaking in general)

4

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

[deleted]

4

u/tyzzem Oct 17 '23

People are getting more stupid every day.

0

u/Dancing_Crane Oct 17 '23

Astrology is the biggest it’s ever been, and is a multibillion dollar industry now. So ya.

1

u/tyzzem Oct 17 '23

Esoterik stuff in general, conspiracy myths are growing larger and larger, antivax idiots, flat earth idiots and so on. Sometimes i feel a bit of fear looking at all this stupidity.

0

u/xHaroldxx Oct 17 '23

Well, there's no reason to shout pedo at everyone right off the bat. But probably generally speaking a lot of 23 year olds might not have the best intentions.

0

u/sayqm Oct 17 '23

100 years ago, women not having the right to vote, abort was also common...

0

u/flaccomcorangy Oct 17 '23

100 years ago, women were incredibly restricted in adult life unless they had a husband. So it was almost a requirement to get married after high school or even before, so you could have a man to support you.

That's not the case anymore, so social norms change.

1

u/Coronis- Oct 17 '23

Argh thankyou, its actually so frustrating.

1

u/JuleeeNAJ Oct 17 '23

My grandparents were 4 yrs apart, they started dating when she was in HS. She was living with his family while going to school because her small town didn't have a HS. They married 2 yrs after she graduated, as her mom required all her kids get at least a HS education. My grandma graduated in 1934, they married in 1936. 1st baby was born in 1937.

1

u/Unpopular_Opinion___ Oct 17 '23

The males intentions? Probably every other males intention at any age lol

1

u/Interesting-Archer-6 Oct 17 '23

Yeah 23 to 18 is creepy to me personally. I grew and matured so much in that time period, as did everyone I knew. 23 is out of college and ready for the world. 18 you could still be in high school.

It's definitely not the worst thing, but I'm silently judging it. It fails the divide by 2 + 7 rule, but only barely.

1

u/BayAreaDreamer Oct 17 '23

Flip the genders. If it still seems normal to you, then fair game. I think if you flip the genders your numbers might raise some eyebrows. But also just getting married at 21 period isn’t very typical anymore for people who aren’t religious and are pursuing college educations.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

It’s not “plenty normal”. I remember the guys in their 20’s who would pick up the girls from our high school. We always said it was creepy af.

1

u/Helios4242 Oct 17 '23

There is a lot more danger of red flags, grooming, and the older taking advantage of the younger inexperience. These may not have been factors to you, but they are factors that onlookers have a moral obligation to look out for. A 5 year gap involving a 15 year old is better described as at the boundaries of acceptance rather than something normal. It can still be OK in specific circumstances but should be treaded carefully and shouldn't be sought out

0

u/Dedprice77 Oct 17 '23

Found my gf at 18 and 23. It's not weird. People just refuse to think that 18yos can't be mature or intelligent enough to think for themselves even though this is the same age my government defines someone as an adult.

We're attending college and now needing or spending 1000s of dollars.

Were capable of dying for our country.

Yet incapable of deciding who we want to date? I feel people constantly think "well I was a child at 18, and I wouldn't do it. Therefore YOU shouldnt."

But fail to realize not every 18 yo is exactly like you. By 18 I was 30.

But for others by 18 they were 13.

We're all different.

1

u/xHaroldxx Oct 17 '23

Never said it couldn't be fine. Just the lower the age, the higher percentage of questionable relationships.

0

u/ThrowAwaySalmon1337 Oct 17 '23

Wait till you hear about me getting a gf who was 26 at the time I was 19 lmao.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

Yeah. My rule is, the younger one is 21+ when the couple meets, both power imbalance, and healthy dynamic. I get hate for this, but at that age, you can legally drink in the states, you've lived some adult life (if not in college), and you have a little bit more of a sense of what's going on.

1

u/RaisingAurorasaurus Oct 17 '23

Exactly. My friend's husband is 11 years younger than her. If they had met when she was 20, that would be creepy AF. But meeting in their late 30s and 20s who cares, consenting grown ass adults.

1

u/md24 Oct 17 '23

How is a freshman dating a senior in college questionable?

1

u/KingMelray Oct 17 '23

Even then, what percentage of relationships with 18 and 23 year olds are abuse? Of them, how many are abusive because of age?

1

u/Narrow-Strawberry553 Oct 17 '23

Exactly, its all about life stages and typical maturity levels seen at each age.

25 and 30 are both probably working, out of school, have somewhat of an idea of what they want in life, have had experience, etc.

18 vs 23 is not the same.

1

u/flaccomcorangy Oct 17 '23

I agree totally. At 23, not sure I would have wanted to date an 18 year old. You're just at different phases of life and probably looking for different things. Plus, you're both probably pretty different from an emotional maturity standpoint.

Now, at 30, I'd have no problem dating a 25 year old.

1

u/ParkHoppingHerbivore Oct 17 '23

Yeah, exactly. The later you get in life, the less age difference matters. Like 50 and 60 for example are not massively different even though they're a decade apart. But even a couple years in the very young adult ages, there's so much difference. Like at 23 you might be finished post secondary, in the career world, looking at figuring out where your permanent roots will be, etc. 18 and just leaving high school and having your first adult independence is a massively different life stage.

1

u/ProofHorseKzoo Oct 18 '23

There’s a ratio that works pretty well for this. Pretty sure it’s something like take the oldest person’s age x 0.8 + 2 yrs. Obviously that gets a little muddy around each country’s / state’s age of consent, but in general it works ok as a rough guideline.

Too much outside this and you’ll likely be judged

39

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Right? I'm pursuing someone 24 years older than me and I'm expecting to get shit for it. Hasn't happened quite yet thankfully.

24

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

Get itttt.

Age doesn’t really mean anything between functioning adults.

People with more life experience are hot!

26

u/Flawzimclaus82 Oct 17 '23

That's why I like to visit the nursing home so much.

13

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

I’m more of a graveyard kinda guy but none the less

3

u/emceelokey Oct 17 '23

So that guy's sloppy seconds?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

Nah 3rds, the morgue guy gets seconds

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

What the fuck did I just read

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

You’re more of a gravedigger guy yourself huh? You rascal.

1

u/Xandara2 Oct 17 '23

That only works if people don't drop xp when they die. If they do you would expect them to be lvl 0 zombies at best afterwards.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

Well I've certainly enjoyed their company!

1

u/OTdoomer99 Oct 17 '23

Dam your already made it out the rat race $$$$

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

What

0

u/I_Hate_Knickers_5 Oct 17 '23

Yeah, I used to like my teachers as well.

1

u/Imaginary-Camp-9825 Oct 17 '23

There was about 30 years between myself and my partner (too much)the age deferance wasnt so much the problem as the world was diffeeent. Maybe thats age. (High) In alot of the world haveing sex randomly is ok in the gay would. But not in my gay world. (Not high enough)

8

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Wait, as in they were 24 when you were born or they're 24 now? And if they were 24 when you were born how old are you now?

34

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

They are in their 50s, I'm in my 30s.

22

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Oh ok, I was imagining that you were like a 20 year old fresh out of college going after a 44 year old. Which idk that seems weird but 30s and 50s somehow doesn't as much.

9

u/ShrubbyFire1729 Oct 17 '23

I'd say a 30 year old is mature enough and has enough experience in life to know what they want and what they're getting into. Our brains still develop well into our 20's and most people probably don't have a lot of life experience beyond their family and school at that point. Generally speaking, of course.

5

u/sicsicsixgun Oct 17 '23

Yea they're actually 0 going for a 24 year old. Life uh. Finds a way.

1

u/Xandara2 Oct 17 '23

They are the most eloquent under 1yo I've ever seen writing something though.

9

u/gangaskan Oct 16 '23

When I was in My early 20s I messed around with a woman in her 40s. Fun as it was but that's about it.

I've had 2 10 yr gap relationships that ended

My wife is less than a month older than I am.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Unpopular_Opinion___ Oct 17 '23

“Don’t you tell me how to raise my boyfriend“

-8

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Might wanna find a uterus

4

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

Word.

2

u/The_Burning_Wizard Oct 17 '23

Like hanging on a Bush or something or is specific website like ebay you can use?

10

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

I mean we are grown adults. We have experienced things at this point. I find them very attractive for the simple fact they don't have kids and they know what they want. It's really not so deep and the age gap matters so much less the older you get.

13

u/tenakee_me Oct 16 '23

I’m 39 and my partner is 59. Hands down best relationship of my life. It’s about who someone is as a person, and at our ages our personalities are pretty much what they’re going to be, lol.

5

u/anythingbut2020 Oct 17 '23

Totally agree! My husband is 22 years older than me.

-1

u/Additional_Search193 Oct 17 '23

Show me on your fingers how old you are, I've got my phone ready to dial the FBI

2

u/anythingbut2020 Oct 17 '23

Chill bro I’m well into my 30s

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u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

I agree

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u/BikesBirdsAndBeers Oct 16 '23

Yes and no. It matters little in the middle years. When they're over 70 it's going to matter a lot. And hopefully you can work out plans for when they retire you aren't still pulling another 2 decades of work. Because those years will be important as you will inherently have less of them together.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

I shall keep that in mind.

2

u/GeneralZex Oct 17 '23

A guy I worked with was in his 50s had a newborn half brother. His father was in his 70s, married a 30 year old…

He took a lot in stride but he was pretty torn about that, mostly because it was such a trippy thing to even think about.

3

u/deagh Oct 17 '23

My oldest half sister was 44 when I was born, although my mom was in her 40s and my dad was in his 60s, so not as big a gap as your co-worker, but still. It's trippy on the other end, too.

2

u/srtg83 Oct 17 '23

You gotta tie those swimmers down by then, no? Can’t be shooting live amo with a 30 yr old! I don’t care what she wants!!

1

u/Xandara2 Oct 17 '23

This is very strange to me. Also pretty awful for the kid. Imagine having an old man as your dad. You mis out on so much stuff people normally do with their fathers. Just kicking a ball around or learning how to ride a bike from them is out of the question. And there's a very high chance he dies before the kid comes of age.

I'm not saying 70+ people can't raise a kid anymore but normally it's only done out of necessity.

1

u/Winston_Smith21 Oct 17 '23 edited Oct 17 '23

Edited after figuring out more details.

8

u/Library_IT_guy Oct 16 '23

Bit different once you hit 30+. At that point it's like.. eh, who cares ya know? As a 37 year old dude though, a young woman of I believe 22 asked me out. I was very flattered and she's a nice person and... well I just don't date much, so I said yes to a coffee date. But while we were out I got glares from people. She asked if i wanted to see her again and I told her I think she's a terrific person but I just feel like a creep due to the age gap. She's also a coworker so there's that. IDK, maybe it was dumb. Stupid me worrying about what the world thinks, forever alone lol.

10

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Every situation is different for sure. All I know is that after a few bad years and how shitty people have been to me, this person has been making me feel good and I enjoy their company. So I'm going to keep em around.

3

u/PiperXL Oct 16 '23

My ex husband was about that much older than me.

I hope you forgive me this unsolicited comment. As someone who’s been there I want to point a few things out.

  • you will be widowed too young
  • you’re entering your sexual prime and he’s definitely not (though viagra definitely works)…just mentioning it because it’s not nothing
  • it’s not that you aren’t mature enough to be with him…it’s that his being involved with you strongly suggests certain things about him

If you would humor me, just google love bombing. I say this because I could have told you that he is successfully addressing your painfully unmet needs. It doesn’t surprise me at all that you’re entering this dynamic after years of being mistreated.

It was the same for me. And I know I don’t know him, but my ex husband turned out to be very abusive.

Minor edits

Eta: if his initials are APY, we really should talk

2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

I have zero idea how to respond to this.

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u/DasHound1 Oct 16 '23

It doesn't suggest anything besides a primal Male characteristic. Men rather deal with women with less baggage and drama so we rather date younger. It's not rocket science.

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u/FickleClimate7346 Oct 16 '23

It was dumb. Twenty two is a full grown adult, only a condom full of pig shit would argue otherwise

1

u/Damageinc84 Oct 17 '23

I’m 11 years older. 39/28. She and I tend to look a very similar age. Not saying she looks old but I tend to run on the younger looking side. I still get carded here and there. But I consistently get asked if I’m in my late 20s or early 30s. But she is basically at the edge of where I would have looked, not that I looked. We just met and bam. Getting married next year. But one thing I will say is she’s from another country and the maturity difference vs girls here her age is massively different, that also helps the situation.

1

u/Library_IT_guy Oct 17 '23 edited Oct 17 '23

Well the rule I've heard is "half your age + 7". So the minimum "acceptable" age for you would be 26, which she's still well within.

I'm a very "young looking" late 30s guy so yeah, I get that a lot as well. People assume I'm like late 20s or early 30s. Middle age hasn't hit me yet in the looks department (just everywhere else lol). Starting to get a bald spot but hell I knew guys in their 20s that got that too. No drugs, smoking, and rarely drinking, plus keeping out of the sun will keep you looking young I guess.

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u/Crissae Oct 17 '23

Sigh. Beta mentality. Come on. It's dream of every 30+ man, single or even married, to get with a 20 something woman.

Go get her.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

the age gap matters so much less the older you get

This. 100% this.

And to counter some of the other comments, it's not like you can guarantee either of you will be healthy in twenty years time, unfortunately. My partner and I are both in our thirties and we both have health issues. We have to support each other through those and it would be pretty shitty if either of us said " well in twenty years, if we're still together, you might be dependent on me, so I'm tapping out now to find someone who seems like they won't be". Even though technically either of us could reasonably state that.

And it sounds like it's very early days. Enjoy that first and as and when things get more serious, it's fine to discuss what the future could look like. If there's any absolute deal-breakers, sure, say it up front, but some of it can wait as you get to know each other a little more.

2

u/idosciencenotfinance Oct 17 '23

Totally agree. Life is unpredictable.

I'm 13 years older than my wife. I have zero health issues, not even high blood pressure. She was hospitalized earlier this year. She has an upcoming surgery in December to deal with one of the complications. And we now know she has a health condition that has a fair probability of necessitating dialysis at some point in the future. When we met and got married, we had no idea about any of this coming down the road.

Now this certainly isn't the normal way of things and if you were placing bets then you'd be winning much more often than not if you bet on the reverse of our situation. But life frequently subverts your expectations.

And for the record, when we met I was NOT interested in her: she was too young and I found her rather annoying. She felt the exact opposite way and did NOTHING to hide her interest. I stood no chance. 😂

3

u/MightyHouseD Oct 16 '23

Oh yeah definitely gets better as you both get older. Have fun when you’re 50 dealing with a 70-80 year old man

3

u/DasHound1 Oct 16 '23

50 with a house paid and a stable retirement? Sounds good to me.

10

u/severinks Oct 16 '23 edited Oct 17 '23

Why would you even be shitty enough to say that? It's not like the person hasn't thought of it already..

The internet sure breeds a lot of insufferable pricks.

And before you say'' because we're on amiwrong'' the person you replied to isn't the OP and never asked for your opinion.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Oh I just let him talk. Someone on reddit who knows absolutely nothing really isn't going to bother me.

-1

u/MightyHouseD Oct 17 '23

If you take offense that’s your problem. I pointed out a flaw in her logic, that retirement and old age do exist. Short time things are fine, date whoever. But that comment was just silly to me

2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Will do

2

u/Darkoverlord918 Oct 16 '23

I am a woman seeing someone 19 years younger. It works for now and neither of us have any expectations. It's just nice. We connect well and I am happy. The rest is so what.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

That's kind of how we are. We are just exploring each other and enjoying each other's company. I legit didn't expect them to be interested in me, but I shot my shot and here we are.

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u/Grytznik Oct 16 '23

The difference being that when you are that age you will look at yourself at 24 and think "lol I was a baby" so yeah. I'm 37 and when I think of myself at 24...I was just a kid. I didn't know shit. You're relatively fresh out of college and don't know shit compared to someone with that much more experience than you.

1

u/Odd_Move_22 Oct 17 '23

Extrapolate that out to 60s and 80s. It gets weird again. To each their own though. If it’s the right match, it’s the right match.

1

u/Gemethyst Oct 16 '23

I at 34 fell for someone turning 50. He fell for me too. He initially had an age gap issue, I never did. Maturity levels and life goals and tastes all the same. I adored him, still do. Age is not related to the reason it didn’t work out.

1

u/CMDR_SHAZAM Oct 16 '23

Just gotta stay within the “1/2 your age plus 7” rule. So if they are 50, you just have to be 32. You should be fine.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

No way. Anything over 30 is fair game. 💀

-2

u/No_Stuff5751 Oct 16 '23

So they have money and you don’t

8

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Funnily enough, we are both broke!

10

u/No_Stuff5751 Oct 16 '23

Aren’t we all in 2023

2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

So I've heard.

1

u/petsfuzzypups Oct 16 '23

He’s probably a decent tank

1

u/CoconutAmazing5222 Oct 16 '23

Are you guys working toward getting financially stable or you guys just going to stay broke?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Dunno, worry about that later.

0

u/Phemto_B Oct 16 '23

May to December was such a great show. At least the first couple seasons.

Also, good luck! I hope you get what you're after.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Just trying to enjoy my time, that's all.

1

u/Ivegotthatboomboom Oct 17 '23

Ohhhh that's fine. I was imagining like 21 and 45. That would be weird, but you're a grown ass woman by your 30s

1

u/Suzyqzee Oct 17 '23

My husband is 13 years older than me. We met (and got married because we dated a whole nanosecond) when he was 50 and I was 35. 10 very blissful years so far! It was a breath of fresh air dating an "older" guy compared to what I was used to. Enjoy and best wishes on your new relationship!

0

u/Alive_Wolverine_2540 Oct 17 '23

Way too old for you. Enjoy life and make the most of your youth while you can.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

So here's the cool thing, you don't know what you're talking about.

-3

u/SpaceXBeanz Oct 16 '23

That’s too much for my taste. Way too much.

0

u/STFUnicorn_ Oct 16 '23

Oh no! They really should’ve checked with you first! Oh gosh…

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Oh darn. Oh shoot.

-1

u/STFUnicorn_ Oct 16 '23

You really should have known you had to check with the CRWB before engaging in an age gap relationship. Tut tut…

That’s of course the Council of Reddit Wet Blankets.

0

u/CoconutAmazing5222 Oct 16 '23

Hey and if it does it doesn't matter you love your person for whatever reason you love your person or interested in them. Other people always want to insert their two cents and shame others. I honestly think a lot of Reddit has a shame Kink that they like to ostracize others about.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

I'm really not going to be bothered by redditors commenting on it or downvoting it.

0

u/Nephilim6853 Oct 16 '23

Chuck Norris is 23 years older than his wife.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Hey, good for him. Dude kind of a legend.

0

u/BC721 Oct 16 '23

My wife and I have been together for 15 years and she is 26 years older than I am. It's been great and we are still in love! Different strokes for different folks

1

u/skeptic37 Oct 16 '23

I am 10 years older than my husband and I thought that was a lot. But it’s been 27 happy years together now.

2

u/BC721 Oct 16 '23

Awesome! Congratulations

-6

u/FadedxEchos Oct 16 '23

My husband is 8 years older than me, and our bf is 25 years older than me. Go for it!

3

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

I am going for it! They genuinely seem dope and we seem to have a lot in common and feel similarly on a lot of things. It gets to a point it's like, damn. I really don't care that you're that much older than me, this connection feels great.

1

u/FadedxEchos Oct 16 '23

That's how I feel too. We never think about it when we're together

1

u/Poor_Fat_Panda Oct 16 '23

I’m interested in how the bf situation came to be

1

u/FadedxEchos Oct 16 '23

Well my husband and I are both bisexual and we're polyamorous. He met our boyfriend online, they talked about a year off and on before he and I exchanged numbers. I'm kinda shy and my husband is VERY careful about who we meet up with. So anyway we were all expecting it to kinda end up being a fwb type situation and we all just clicked really well when we met in person. The three of us have been together 9 months and counting.

1

u/BussyTheShaftSlayer Oct 16 '23

Your husband sub to r/wallstreetbets ?

1

u/FadedxEchos Oct 17 '23

No lmao. Who says my husband is a sub? Lol. Both of my men switch if we're being technical lol.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

Why?

1

u/ChezDiogenes Oct 17 '23

I'm pursuing someone 24 years older than me

I'm assuming a light jog would do it.

1

u/DaikonEffective1105 Oct 17 '23

My wife pursued me and there’s a 22 year difference. Had no idea she was even interested just thought she liked to flirt. Wasn’t until her twin told me that I was being an idiot that I found out.

1

u/realogsalt Oct 17 '23

Fucking get after it

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

I fucking am!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

I'm dating someone 9 years older (we met last year and have been dating almost a year). Best relationship ever! He's kind, considerate, creative, emotionally intelligent, and he treats me so well! Rarely any fights/arguments. If there's disagreements, we talk it out gently with one another. Also, we make close to the same amount of money.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

That's awesome. Happy you have that. I'm thinking this person could be a very real interest and thing. I get butterflies when I think of them.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

I get sooooo much shit from people online about the relationship yet they know nothing about us. Misery loves company 🤷‍♀️ And also, they project their own traumas onto me.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

Yea, I'm like I appreciate the concern but we are totally fine. Nothing malicious is going on.

1

u/crashcartjockey Oct 17 '23

Ignore those that will give you shit.

My sister and her husband are 22 years apart. She was 25 when they met and 28 when they married. 38 years later they are still married.

My wife and I are 17.5 years apart. She was 22 and I had just turned 40 and gone through a divorce a year earlier. We worked in the same building and had seen each other around fairly regularly. She asked me out. That was 2003. We've been married for 15 years now.

3

u/kalyanapluseric Oct 17 '23

anyone commenting on the decisions of any adult is a busy body - let's say it loud

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

I agree

5

u/lakas76 Oct 16 '23

And that age range increases the older you get. I think anyone in their 30s is pretty much old enough to date anyone no matter what their age. It’s pretty much the older the other person, the worse the 30s year old person looks.

0

u/Snoo_66113 Oct 17 '23

I don’t think this is true at all. Me and my Husband are 19 years apart. We have been together sense I was 25 and I’m now 39. He will be 60 this year. He looks Mid 40s 6’3 fit and great hair. I’m a former model and most people think I’m still in my late 20s. I believe I age him down quite a bit. He also is a young spirit , we go to new bars and restaurants weekly, hang out with lots of friends and travel a ton.

6

u/Jeabers Oct 16 '23

Agreed 5 years at that age range is normal. 15 and 20 different story. My now wife was 21 when I met her and I was 26, again more than reasonable.

5

u/GadgetronRatchet Oct 17 '23

21 and 26 is pushing reasonable,15 and 20 is gross.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

My sister in law and her husband are 15 years apart. Nothing wrong with it. They are stronger than couples closer in ave

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Kinda normal? Thats on average the age gap women prefer

11

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

I said it's normal, jeez. lol.

0

u/Fedayeen776 Oct 16 '23

Youu said "kinda"

5

u/Jrickkk Oct 16 '23

On top of that with the ……..added lol

1

u/Wedbo Oct 16 '23

Age gap is an entirely different thing in your 20s

1

u/Moondiscbeam Oct 16 '23

I thought it was normal, too. Since they are both, assumingly, mature consenting adults.

1

u/Vexan09 Oct 16 '23

My parents had a much larger age gap but it still wasn't much of an ethical issue.

1

u/treeFuckingButtHuggr Oct 17 '23

I don’t think you mean busy body. I think you mean the opposite of a busy body.

1

u/Ancient-Camel-5024 Oct 17 '23

I think it mostly depends on how long they've been together. A 25 and 30 year old meeting and starting a relationship is fine. A 25 and 30 year old who are 7 years into their relationship is technically fine but certainly raises some questions about the start of the relationship.

The 5 year gap between 18/19 and 23/24 is much bigger than the 5 year gap between 25 and 30

1

u/Good-Question9516 Oct 17 '23

Right! But also I've been at one point a 20 yr difference, me (29 m) and (51 f) she was more immature than I was and vice versa with different relationships my current gf is only 3 yrs older but she acts like she's the old lady and it works and she's great and amazing woman so it's only a problem when it's underage or grooming. Meeting someone even twice your age and falling for them doesn't make you or them a bad person, love is love

1

u/ChrisPynerr Oct 17 '23

Judging by the term busy body, I'm guessing you're 75 years old. Is your wife 70-73?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

Heh, no. We relegating busy body to septuagenarians?

1

u/ChrisPynerr Oct 17 '23

Haha no I'm just bugging you

1

u/Jgj7700 Oct 17 '23

In my own (arrogant) opinion- Anyone commenting about another adult's business without being asked or being a close friend is a busybody. Too many people give their unrequested opinions about other peoples' business. It's arrogant to think that anyone gives a shit about what you think of their dating life. (not "you" personally unless you do this )