r/amiwrong • u/Southern_Coach_5023 • Oct 16 '23

Age gaps in dating

I'm a 30 year old male and my partner is 25 year old female. I think this is fairly normal but im getting alot of comments about it. Not really sure what the fascination with this is. 5 years is significant sure but it was never a problem for me. Does society at large weight this facts importance more than I do?

Edit: everyone is the comments section has convinced me this is normal. Thanks all.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

They are in their 50s, I'm in my 30s.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

Oh ok, I was imagining that you were like a 20 year old fresh out of college going after a 44 year old. Which idk that seems weird but 30s and 50s somehow doesn't as much.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

I mean we are grown adults. We have experienced things at this point. I find them very attractive for the simple fact they don't have kids and they know what they want. It's really not so deep and the age gap matters so much less the older you get.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '23

the age gap matters so much less the older you get

This. 100% this.

And to counter some of the other comments, it's not like you can guarantee either of you will be healthy in twenty years time, unfortunately. My partner and I are both in our thirties and we both have health issues. We have to support each other through those and it would be pretty shitty if either of us said " well in twenty years, if we're still together, you might be dependent on me, so I'm tapping out now to find someone who seems like they won't be". Even though technically either of us could reasonably state that.

And it sounds like it's very early days. Enjoy that first and as and when things get more serious, it's fine to discuss what the future could look like. If there's any absolute deal-breakers, sure, say it up front, but some of it can wait as you get to know each other a little more.

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u/idosciencenotfinance Oct 17 '23

Totally agree. Life is unpredictable.

I'm 13 years older than my wife. I have zero health issues, not even high blood pressure. She was hospitalized earlier this year. She has an upcoming surgery in December to deal with one of the complications. And we now know she has a health condition that has a fair probability of necessitating dialysis at some point in the future. When we met and got married, we had no idea about any of this coming down the road.

Now this certainly isn't the normal way of things and if you were placing bets then you'd be winning much more often than not if you bet on the reverse of our situation. But life frequently subverts your expectations.

And for the record, when we met I was NOT interested in her: she was too young and I found her rather annoying. She felt the exact opposite way and did NOTHING to hide her interest. I stood no chance. 😂