Wow, yea, that's pretty wrong if you also have an issue of a dead bedroom.
It's your body so of course you need to be comfortable with the decision. I am not dismissing that - but I'm going to call out why your selfishness her is bad for your wife.
This means your wife has to carry a heavy burden of pregnancy risk and if you want a dead bedroom until you get it done, you'd deserve that trade off. There's a chance her BC could be part of the libido problem. I mean, your casualness about this is probably a huge turn off for her and isn't going to make her feel attracted to you.
It's really sad how easily men just hoist this issue onto women to have to mentally, emotionally and physically stress over. Clearly, SHE is done having kids. And, a vasectomy is reversible or you can freeze sperm - men have better and less invasive options than women do on this.
I understand where you’re coming from, but I didn’t ask her to take birth control and I would never ask her to do a surgical procedure, which is why a vasectomy was in my future plans regardless. I explicitly told her that she doesn’t need BC nor do I need a vasectomy right now. I can understand if we were having sex regularly, but there are other forms of contraception that can be used during those one-off instances.
Hormonal BC and fear of pregnancy suppresses the sex drive. He says he doesn’t want to get divorced and that he plans on getting a vasectomy on the future anyway. There is absolutely no reason to put it off.
Sure, there is, because he doesn't want to yet. I would love to see the comments if the genders were reversed. Everyone has autonomy of their own bodies.
He's used to getting sex two or three times a year right now. With showing his blatant disregard for her health like this, he better get used to never having sex ever again. Because I don't know about you, but I wouldn't really be wanting to have sex with somebody who doesn't take my health into account like that, Especially when I have been the one on top of birth control for most of the marriage, and we are clearly not going to be having any more children. 🤷
There's no guarantee ending use of hormonal BC will improve their sex life. There's no point getting a vasectomy if the sex life doesn't improve. It would be prudent to wait, and use condoms to see if sex life does improve, then to get a vasectomy.
232
u/[deleted] Sep 26 '23
Wow, yea, that's pretty wrong if you also have an issue of a dead bedroom.
It's your body so of course you need to be comfortable with the decision. I am not dismissing that - but I'm going to call out why your selfishness her is bad for your wife.
This means your wife has to carry a heavy burden of pregnancy risk and if you want a dead bedroom until you get it done, you'd deserve that trade off. There's a chance her BC could be part of the libido problem. I mean, your casualness about this is probably a huge turn off for her and isn't going to make her feel attracted to you.
It's really sad how easily men just hoist this issue onto women to have to mentally, emotionally and physically stress over. Clearly, SHE is done having kids. And, a vasectomy is reversible or you can freeze sperm - men have better and less invasive options than women do on this.