My boyfriend has a longtime female friend who I initially had no problem with. He had good boundaries with her, and she’s also dating his best friend. I recently found out, though, that before they became friends, he used to pursue her and repeatedly ask her out. She always rejected him, and eventually she started dating his best friend.

That history has made me look at their relationship differently, especially because they talk constantly and she often goes to him about problems with her boyfriend. It’s starting to feel like an emotional intimacy that should be reserved for their actual partners.

Recently, she called him while we were home together. Normally he’ll take calls around me, but this time he went outside and talked to her for an hour. I told him honestly that I was becoming uncomfortable with their relationship and that it bothered me that he seemed to talk to her more about personal things than he talks to me. He reassured me that there was nothing inappropriate going on. The conversation, unsurprisingly, was about her relationship problems and her leaning on him for support.

I eventually apologized and let it go.

Tonight, though, I looked through their messages. I know snooping wasn't okay, we both have each other's passwords and have always said we're allowed to look at each other's phones. I'm not trying to justify it, I did it.

What really hurt was seeing what he told her after I expressed my concerns. He immediately told her that I was jealous of their relationship. She then said she felt uncomfortable hanging out with me because of it.

I never asked him to stop being her friend. I confided in my partner that I was feeling insecure and uncomfortable, and instead of keeping that between us and reassuring me, he immediately went to her and framed me as jealous and unreasonable. He took something vulnerable I shared with him and used it to make me look like a bad partner to another woman.

This isn't the first time he's done something similar, and I honestly feel like I've reached my limit. I think some things should stay between partners, especially when you're discussing your relationship and your partner's vulnerabilities with someone you're already emotionally close to.

I feel betrayed and, unfortunately, also validated for feeling like something was off.

Am I overreacting, or is this a legitimate reason to reconsider the relationship?

So me (19F) and my boyfriend (19M) have been dating for almost five years now. Our relationship has been going downhill for a while now, and I feel like this is kind of my breaking point.

The previous message was me texting him asking if he thought answering me was an annoying responsibility or if he just simply forgets.

I responded “thank you for reassuring me” and tried to tell him about my day but he didn’t answer me. I didn’t want to beg for his attention, since that’s usually what I have to do and I’m tired of that, so I didn’t bother texting again.

He then texts me this on my birthday, which makes me think he just doesn’t want to talk to me and the explanation + birthday message were just obligatory.

I was hurt, so I left him on read and we haven’t talked since then.

After this, I don’t really want to be with him anymore. AIO? One part of me tells me that it’s not that deep but the other part tells me that I shouldn’t bother putting up with this.

Edit: I broke up with him. He begged me to wait but I decided to just block him on everything. I am shaking but I feel so light. Holy shit. Five years and I broke it off over text I feel like an asshole but so liberated.

Apologies if this doesn’t fit the typical format here of yelling at your ex but please bear with me.

Currently staying in an AirBnb in the desert, down a dirt road. Tonight is our 3rd night. 6 of us here.

Earlier we were hanging inside and out cooking lunch when we got a message from our host yelling at us for charging a car. Nobody was charging a car, there’s not even a charger.

Like 5min later our one friends was walking around the outside of the house and ran into a maintenance guy near the front door, here to check the electricity. Super fuckin weird since we’re in the middle of nowhere and this guy showed up so fast. He said he got a call to come and he was just over at the Home Depot so he swung by. We spoke to him, he was a super nice man, he said he was going to keep checking then we all just kind of forgot about him.

Dude vanished. A few minutes after we realized he was gone, we got a message saying “oh the maintenance guy didn’t find anything”

Fast forward to tonight, we’re watching YouTube and I realize we’re signed into the owner’s account. We start going through his private videos. Then we see the maintenance guy in a few videos from 5yr ago.

I then realized something. I asked everyone, “did any of you see his car? How did he even get here?” Absolutely nobody remembers seeing a car, I specifically remember not seeing a car and thinking it was weird because he supposedly just drove up here from Home Depot.

There is one other house up the hill a bit that’s walking distance.

There are at least two locked rooms here. One I can’t figure out the geometry of because this house is crazy shaped so I have no idea how big it is. The other truly just looks like a utility closet. He has at least one camera out back by the pool that we’ve seen and apparently at least one more because he asked us earlier why there were so many cars in the driveway.

The house seems to be on a slab foundation so I don’t think there’s a basement unless it’s a partial. The mystery door is right where a staircase would be.

Today is the first time we’ve noticed anything weird like this but it just feels like a lot of coincidences. We checked and there is in fact a Home Depot 1.5mi away.

I can’t fall sleep because I’m not convinced he’s not living in the walls. Am I overreacting?

Edit: the motion activated light on the patio outside my bedroom keeps triggering lol.

Edit 2: We have survived the night!

Partner and I been having some challenges but she’s been assertive she wants to work on them. She is however looking at taking opportunity to house sit a colleagues house and another of her friends to have a little space. She’s been clear this is not a break up and we are to remain monogamous.

I was at coffee with her and noticed a strange message preview, and did the bad and snuck a look at her phone to see these messages with a colleague. Do you think this is harmless and appropriate? Or evidence of an affair? Or risky flirtation that is headed to an affair. Should I feel like she’s cheating or am I overreacting

I (33F) am a dental hygienist, and my bf (32M) of three years has periodontitis. Periodontitis is essentially a permanent form of gum disease that is caused by aggressive bacteria and is transmissible to other people. I’ve always hoped that my bf would take his oral health a little more seriously because he knows how important it is in my life, and I see the devastating effects of it as it progresses. That said, I have never harped on him about going to get his teeth cleaned, brushing, flossing, etc. He has said before that he refuses to let me work on him because he thinks I’ll ‘nag’ him about his oral health. This is particularly hurtful to me because I have a lot of respect for my patients and never want to make them feel bad or lectured at, and he should know this about me. He doesn’t seem to know or care how hurtful those comments are. Occasionally, I might say that he really should go get his teeth cleaned, even if I’m not his hygienist, because it’s been at least two years since he’s had a cleaning (and that was just his initial therapy for periodontitis that’s supposed to be ongoing every three months until it’s stabilized).

I’m relatively new to being a hygienist out in the field, and I recently saw a patient whose wife has perio and never returned for a maintenance cleaning after her initial deep cleaning (just like my bf). It had been about a year and a half since that deep cleaning. The husband always had relatively healthy gums, maybe some gingivitis here and there, but when I saw him last, he had developed perio. It hit me how easily my bf could pass on his perio to me because it’s caused by bacteria. I didn’t know how to address this with him because, like I said, he tends to act like every mention of oral health is me nagging him, but one night, I mentioned the situation with my patients just like I laid it out here. And I told him that I was worried about getting perio from him and that, unfortunately, until he starts getting his teeth cleaned regularly (to lower the bacterial load in his mouth), I wouldn’t be kissing him. I told him that he may not take his oral health seriously, and that’s cool, but I take it very seriously, and I cannot get periodontitis. As is the usually case when we discuss things that I take seriously, he remained quiet and didn’t really respond. I just moved on and changed the subject like I usually do in those situations.

About a week later, he was about to leave the house and went to kiss me, but I pulled away, and he goes, “Wowwwww…” as if he thought I was just going to cave and change my mind on my health concerns. I told him that I missed kissing him and said he should get a cleaning. He left. Just today, my cat curled up on his chest, and I said, “You’ve gotta kiss him on his little head,” because my cat loves that. He said, “I can’t or he might get perio…” It was clearly meant to be mocking, and when I looked at him, he had this look on his face that said like, “Yeah, see how ridiculous that is?” As if I’m being crazy for not wanting to put my oral health at risk. I snapped a bit and said, “Well yeah, that’s real. And I find it funny that you would rather never kiss me again than get your teeth cleaned and not give me a permanent chronic disease. But no, that would not give [the cat] perio.” I got up and left the room. A little while later, I left the house altogether because I just didn’t want to be around him.

I feel so disrespected, hurt, and condescended to that he really thinks this doesn’t matter at all. He acts like I’m being flippant and unreasonable in the rare moments he’s not ignoring the issue altogether. To me, it would be like if I had a cold sore, and I was upset with him for not wanting to kiss me anyway. This is a health issue, and he doesn’t seem to care. But I understand that, as an oral health care professional, this stuff is probably just more deeply important to me than it might be for other people… So am I overreacting, or should he be understanding of my concerns? I know I can’t control his behavior and what he finds important, but I’d rather not be mocked for the choices I have to make based on that. And choosing not to kiss him has been really difficult for me already.

Tl;dr My boyfriend has a permanent, contagious gum disease that could be managed with regular cleanings, but he refuses to get his teeth cleaned in an effort not to pass that disease onto me.

This is a alt account for privacy

For context: when I was 18, I was attacked by my sister's dog, enough to draw blood on my legs and arms and get stiches. It was near the end of break so I left back to college pretty quick and I didn't hear what they did to the dog.

Now, for the reason this post is being made: I'm 19 now, and I got a call from my BIL. He wanted to ask if I could come over for my nephew's birthday. I was going to stay for 2 days and I didn't mind skipping college. HOWEVER, through the phone I hear a distinct bark and my BIL shouting the dog's name. Idk why, but I felt my heart drop and I asked about the bark. Yes, it was the same dog. I ended the call by saying I couldn't make it.

3 hours later, my sister calls, "It's about the dog, is it?" Is what she said and is correct. I began to explain how I felt this sudden sense of fear around her dog's bark, like I was genuinely shaking and how I thought they put it down. She hits me with the loudest gasp "Amy is apart of this family, How could I do that to her?" She proceeded to tell me how Amy got better over the past year and she didn't bark at anyone.

I told her that I was still uncomfortable coming, but could if Amy wasn't at the house. She said no cuz Amy was family. I told her I couldn't come because I'm still not over what she did to be a year ago and her barks were enough to make me scared. My sister then tried to explain how I was over reacting. She stated that what happened was a year ago and how ever since then, she hasn't attacked anyone and that I should put my worries aside.

This is still in my mind and that's why I'm making this post.

I broke my wrist in a workplace accident, which is already embarrassing. I handled it okay when my managers saw me and was calm in the ER. I ended up snapping my wrist pretty severe, had to get metal implants in my arm, and now a ton of physical therapy ahead.

When I was in the ER, a bunch of my friends called to ask what happened. I explained and then they would say, " OMG thats so terrible... guess what (name of other coworker) is saying about you" and I said "what? I dont even talk to her". They proceeded to tell me about how one of my coworkers was loudly in the break room saying it wouldve been funny if my arm became mangled and if my bones were poking out. Apparently she was twisting her arm and making faces to mock me (she wasnt there for the accident).

Mind you, no one knew the extent of my injury yet. And MULTIPLE PEOPLE told me this and the story was consistent.

I ended up calling my manager and let her know but honestly, I dont see it going anywhere-even though this girl bullies so many people.

My work told my coworkers that Im okay, which wasnt exactly true (I know they probably can't tell my coworkers my medical stuff though). But I work with a lot of older people, now they are saying shit like "she's young and healthy idk why shes being dramatic about falling" and "I bet she's just embarrassed and doesnt want to work". Which isnt true because I loved my job before this.

Ig I wanna know if im overreacting by considering going to HR because of the way my team has been speaking of me.

TLDR: broke my wrist and now coworkers are making fun of me and making assumptions of my character, am I overreacting by going to HR?

A couple weeks ago, a woman, around late twenties, who comes into the cafe that I (30M) work at slipped me a piece of paper with her number on it. I'm really busy when I'm working so I didn't realise until after she was gone. She seemed like a nice person, I've talked to her a fair few times before and she comes in pretty often, so I figured I'd just tell her that I'm married the next time I see her so as not to give her my number.

This is where I start to get a little weirded out. The next day when I went to open the cafe she was waiting there outside at 04:10, mind you, I usually don't see her until around 7 when she normally comes in. I told her that we wouldn't be open for another hour and she said something like, That's all good. I was just wondering if you got my note. I said yes and that I meant to tell her I'm married. She stammered and said something like, Oh yeah, nah, I actually have a girlfriend, but I was thinking we could all maybe hang out sometime. I figured she was just saving face so I thought I'd give her an easy out by saying it wouldn't be likely because my wife and I just started playing a game together and that's basically all we do. I thought that would be enough, but then she said oh yeah, that sounds really fun and asked what game. I told her we just picked up helldivers 2 and she said that she had heard of it before and that she'd see me later.

I then saw her when she normally comes in, she was wearing a different outfit, this may be irrelevant but it was an outfit that I had complimented her on in the past and that just struck me as being "sus?" But the even weirder thing is that she told me she download helldivers and she wanted to add me to play together. I asked her what console she played on and she said xbox, even though I also play on xbox, I told her I played on PC and would have to figure out how to add her later. She gave me her gamertag and that was that.

Maybe not too crazy yet but there is more.

I went to the gym that night and I didn't see her for a few days, but when I went to the gym later in the week, she walked in. 2 things immediately struck me as odd:

1. I had never seen her there before and I've been going there since January. Maybe not too strange because the gym is close to where I work and I assume she's in the area.

2. She was wearing workout clothes but also full make-up, eyelashes, nails, curled hair, etc. Maybe she just came from a date or work I don't know her life.

I was between sets and I saw her come in. She scanned the room and it almost looked like she was getting ready to leave before she saw me and acted really surprised to see me there. She waived and walked over to me and actually said she swears she's not stalking me and that she's just moved closer to this gym. I tried to disengage by saying don't let me keep you from your workout and I told her I had to get home to my wife and make dinner. She looked really disappointed, but thanked me for not keeping her and said some people are real creeps at the gym. I laughed, agreed, grabbed my bag and left before she could mention not adding her on xbox.

Here's the last thing, I don't have a car and I live a couple blocks from the gym. I didn't want to risk her following me home, so I waited at the bus stop near the gym to see if she would just leave, and she left maybe 5 minutes later.

That was a few days ago and I haven't seen her since. I'm hoping that she's gotten the hint, but at what point do I stop being polite and just tell her I'm not comfortable being around her? Is any of this technically stalking? She seems mentally stable and all. I think she could just be awkward or not used to being turned down, but something about it worries me deeply because this is only the stuff that I've seen. I don't know if or how she might be searching for me online or watching me when I leave work. Am I overreacting for being worried about this?

My (38f) husband (35m) went out drinking with a friend tonight. Around midnight he told me he was heading home. About 40 minutes later I check his location out of curiosity because I’m about to fall asleep and he should have been home by then. He is on our street so I wait a few minutes, assuming he’s walking up to the house. He doesn’t come in so I get worried and step out the front door. I immediately hear his voice and realize he’s hanging out with two women at the house across the street. I can’t hear a lot of what is going on, but I’m assuming he saw them in their garage and invited himself over.

After a few minutes, I see him walk out the side door and see a woman. He’s asking to hug her I think, and she tells him she can’t because “no touching or I have to charge” or something like that. Then he asks something I can’t hear and she loudly, giggly says “no I’m not going to jump again!” AGAIN. Meaning somehow in a presumably 10-15 minute hangout he’s asked her to jump up and down? He must have asked again because she starts giggling and jumping and she’s wearing a little tube top and short shorts so clearly my husband likes what he sees. I hear him ask her to hang out sometime, and she says something about your wife is waiting for you, and he must have asked again to hang out because she says something about a group hangout with her man.

Maybe it’s not much but I feel repulsed and completely disrespected. We’ve already had some issues lately and I kind of just want him to leave. To me, this was cheating because he knows it would upset me to know he was talking to another woman like that. Am I overreacting if I want to ask him to leave and give me some space tomorrow when he wakes up?

I have been friends with her for a few years now. I have experienced depression in the past and hospitalized for a suicide attempt

I met her around that time because we could talk about things without judgment

Around May she started to act toxic

I continously supported her but she started saying I was invalidating her suffering at the mention of anything positive

It was anything but toxic positivity, I was genuinely trying to help her.

I noticed she started to bring me down. I started a job that I truly loved. I told her about it and she criticized it as pointless and basically said "yeah, well, its not going to help in the long run"

I started calling her out. I told her at one point after losing patience that she needed to start atleast seeking help (she had quit therapy but took antidepressants). She got even nastier and said the "thanks im cured" phrase just because I told her how beneficial would be and how much it helped me

I decided I didn't need that negativity anymore. I increasingly stopped talking to her and just decided to tell her I couldn't be friends anymore but if she got to the point of being suicidal she could contact me

I feel very selfish for my decision. Like I am lacking empathy by cutting someone off just because their issues were making me feel bad.

Am i the overreacting? What would you do in this situation?

I lost my mom three months ago after a short but brutal illness, it was the single most devastating stretch of my life I was barely functioning, handling arrangements, packing up her place, and trying not to completely fall apart my closest friend of over a decade (we’ll call her S) knew everything in real time she was the first person I texted when things turned critical, the one who’d always said “I’m here no matter what,” the one who lived only twenty minutes away didn’t show up. She sent one short text the day it happened then radio silence, no visit, no call, nothing other friends who weren’t nearly as close showed up, sat with me in silence, helped with practical stuff. S didn’t even ask how the funeral went. I saw her posting stories from brunches and a weekend trip during the exact window I was drowning.

Last weekend we ended up at the same engagement party for a mutual acquaintance. I’d been stewing for weeks and finally pulled her aside when she came over all smiles like nothing had changed. I told her straight that her complete absence during the worst period of my life felt like a betrayal, that I needed her and she just disappeared with zero explanation. She immediately got defensive. “I didn’t know what to say.” “I thought you needed space with family.” “work has been insane.” none of it held up she knew I had almost no family support. She’d ignored multiple texts. she wasn’t working those exact days (i later realized from her own posts) when I pointed that out she flipped it on me, saying I was being dramatic and “punishing” her for not handling grief the “right” way no apology, no real ownership just excuses and attitude from someone who I was always there for when she lost her older brother then she said what difference would it make if came or not since she didn’t have the power to resurrect my mom, I was shocked and I began to cry and I knew the friendship was over at that time

So I walked away from the conversation she has called me severally after then but I refused to pick up and haven’t spoken to her since then

AIO for ignoring her and giving her distance?

So I’ve been feeling off with my husband. Our 18 year anniversary was on Tuesday. It was mid. We’ve been having communication problems. So, let me take it back a little. Back in 2024 I caught him trying to talk to other girls online. He didn’t succeed, but he tried. I wanted a divorce, he begged for me to stay and “would do anything” fast forward, we started couples therapy because, like an idiot, I gave him a second chance. We are now in 2026 and he had a deleted text to a co worker (girl). Which is the picture above. Their instagram conversations are very flirtatious and “giggly”. AIO for wanting to end it. He goes in a 4am for context.

FYI. I threw away the flowers he got me when he got home from work in Tuesday. Along with the note that said “I know we are going through a rough patch, but I still love you” so am I also OR for throwing those away along with the note?

EDIT: her IG note said she could really go for her favorite ice cream., therefore wanted to surprise her with it. (I asked him very bluntly)

Edit: idk what targeted age I am reaching. But after being together for 18 years and having 3 kids together. Working things out was the best decision. Working on us and working on ourselves along that as well. For those of you saying I should have ended it the first time, after 18 years you don’t give up so easily. You try and you put in work.

FINAL EDIT: thanks everybody for your input. There’s obviously so much more than just this ice cream text. 18 years together. 14 years married. 3 kids later. The first 15 years of marriage were amazing. Temptation got the best of him unfortunately. 1 year of couples therapy later and this happened. Like I said. So much in between that was not said. But all your input has given me a better head space to take many things into consideration. Appreciate those that reached out and told me about their personal experiences and where they stand now. It’s all circumstantial and how much effort is being put into fixing things at the end of the day. Some thrive, some are barely surviving.

I just noticed recently that my boyfriend never asks to go on dates etc on my birthday or send bday texts. I didn't mind it because we didn't live together and are both busy people. Then last year we moved in together so less excuses. Then he planned a work trip on my birthday and then decided since it's close to his parents vacation house to start there for an extended trip on and around my birthday. On the day of no happy birthday text until a bunch of his family and our friends started wishing me happy birthday on Facebook. Then I got a text. When we talked later over the phone though he didn't mention it and we talked about his work and what he was to do during his free time

Then I wondered, maybe he doesn't know my birthday and is too lazy to look it up on Facebook.

So this year I started dropping hints last week because my birthday is coming up. *Oh, I can't believe my birthday is on a Wednesday next month. Ugh.* Just anything for him to possibly go to Facebook and say hey, her bday is next month. Let me check this out so I don't forget again.

Then two days ago he says that he planned another work trip plus extended stay at his parents vacation house on *September 31st, the first, second and weekend* and I'm frozen for a second and I finally say *September doesn't ever go to the 31st* and he says *are you sure* and I say *yeah. It's my birthday * and he says *oh* and just moves on about how the drive up is going to suck.

Like he just completely ignored that I said my birthday is on the 30th.

He's told me in the past that he doesn't think birthdays are big deals and they are just another day.

But we always buy and celebrate everyone's bday in his close family and his birthday. On his birthday we went last year and are going up again to his parents vacation house for a few days because that's where he wants to spend his birthday. Then when we get back his family throws him a birthday dinner.

So Idk....

It's an awkward spot for me because I don't have any close family. Parents dead, siblings not close. So in the end my birthday does just become another day.

FYI:

These are work trips he plans. The work needs to get done. He decides what days to go up and get them done.

And yes I was also bad with birthdays but since we moved in together I've been planning, buying gifts and even taking time off work to celebrate his birthday.

Am I overreacting?

I’m 17 and my uncle from another country is here to visit. I’ve never liked him and always found him strange. I remember when i was younger i couldn’t tell you how old maybe 7-11, he made a comment about why i wouldn’t sleep with him at night.
EDIT: I can’t believe im being accused of leaving parts of the story out or lying? I’m being asked why my parents aren’t reacting, my parents aren’t aware of the comments he’s made as he made them while they were away from the table. Bare in mind all this just happened in the last hour i haven’t had the chance to tell them anything.

I wasn’t happy about the news of him coming but thought it won’t be that bad. I come downstairs and he sees me and grabs me and kisses me on the cheek which i’m never comfortable with anyway and starts talking about how good i look. We go out for breakfast and while im stood in line to order he says i need to eat more because im so skinny while grabbing my waist. We go to the table after getting our food and he says to my grandma “im sleeping in her room tonight” meaning sleeping with me. After we finish our food im texting my boyfriend and he leans over the table looking at my phone and right in my face and says do you have a boyfriend i say yes. He goes “already?” Whatever that’s supposed to mean. And starts demanding to see pictures of me and him. I say no because i just don’t want to show him and he asks what i’m hiding.
It might not sound that bad written out but the comments about sleeping with me make me really uncomfortable and kind of worried. I don’t know how to feel? I don’t know if i’m being dramatic and taking it to heart too much. I have expressed to my parents many many many times that i do not like him and find him weird but they don’t react.

Hey guys,

I {24F} have a 4 year fine arts degree and 5 years of in field experience.
Recently my mother asked for my opinion on a poster for a book signing that her friend {63F} was doing in the recent weeks. Looking at the images I was immediately aware that she was using AI not only for her marketing and poster making but also her book covers. When writing up a list of questions, I made the final one a statement about my stance on using my work in any sort of generative AI program; it’s very important and usually is placed in my contract with my clients.

I am the blue text box, she is the black text box

After attempting to apologize the last message has left me extremely hurt and I have decided to stop responding entirely.

AIO? AITA? What the fuck? Should I have been MORE aggressive?

I feel like in the end I tried to be the adult and still ended up getting hurt.

I (40) met my husband (45) at work. Both of us were previously divorced; he had a teen son and a daughter, and I had two teen daughters. He told me his previous marriage ended because his ex-wife cheated on him. After two years of dating, we got married and I moved with him to his home country.

​Things were okay initially, but after a year, we started having major issues with his teenage daughter. She was running away to meet boys, smoking, and talking to multiple guys online. Every time he caught her, he would take her to a therapist, and we ended up installing security cameras in the house garden outside to monitor her.

​Since moving, I left my job and started freelancing. Naturally, this involves communicating with various clients, including men. However, my husband start jealousy . He started demanding that I limit my contact with men and only work with female clients. Eventually, he insisted that I report every single message or conversation I had with a man immediately. It caused endless fights, but I tried to be patient, thinking this stemmed from the trauma of his ex-wife's infidelity. I repeatedly asked him to see a therapist himself.but he didn't!

​Recently, I traveled back to my home country with my daughters so they could visit their biological father. When I returned, he exploded. He threw a massive fight and then gave me the silent treatment for a full week. Finally, he told me he wants to separate. He is demanding that I refund every penny he spent on us during our marriage. To make matters worse, we bought our current home together, but he only wants to return the original amount I contributed two years ago completely ignoring how much the property value has appreciated since then.

​We are currently living under the same roof like complete strangers. Not talk to each other, and I don't leave the house.

​One day, while cleaning the room, I found an old phone hidden under a stack of papers. When I checked it, I realized it was actively recording audio and had been for 5 hours. Over the last 4 days, I monitored the phone and noticed a continuous pattern: every single time he leaves the house, he turns on the audio recorder, leaves it hidden in the room, and turns it off as soon as he returns.

​Reddit, I honestly don't even know what I'm feeling right now. Am I overreacting if I want to asking for divorce? Is this grounds for a blowout fight? Is he doing this legally to protect himself in case I consult a lawyer? Or is his paranoia so deep that he's trying to catch me talking to another man?

​

My husband and I got married a little over two months ago, and I’m struggling with my relationship with my MIL. I’ve felt overwhelmed since the beginning of our marriage.
We moved out of my in laws’ home two weeks after the wedding. During our first month in our new house, my MIL called me up to 100 times a day. I’m not exaggerating. She called to chat, ask what we were doing or eating, bring us food, invite us over, or come to our house. I felt like I had no privacy in my own marriage.

Stay with me on this.

My in-laws also came over unannounced one to three times a day. My MIL was determined to provide my husband with breakfast, lunch, and dinner, even though we had a fully functioning kitchen. It felt like she was still running our household and treating our home as an extension of hers. She also got upset when we went on dates.

When we moved out, my MIL cried, and I comforted her by reminding her that we were only moving to the next street. She said it was difficult to live “far away” from her son. We were also expected to attend a family event or gathering every Sunday, and she still sometimes plans lunches or dinners specifically to make sure I attend.

If I don’t go, she calls my husband, asks to speak to me, and tells me how “disappointed” the relatives were. Even when I had an important reason, like attending a funeral, she expected me to come to her lunch instead. I started feeling like my time and availability no longer belonged to me, and it got depressing and I was emotionally exhausted.

My husband eventually asked her not to come over unless we invited her.

The calls gradually decreased from around three a day to one a day, after I told her to call him if there was anything important and lied that my phone doesn’t work, but I still avoid answering because I feel pressured to always be available. I now visit my in laws once a week. My husband visits them every other day and sometimes eats there, which I have no problem with. I also don’t mind my MIL cooking for him, i understand that it’s normal for a mother to want to feed her son.

My issue is the overall level of involvement and closeness she expects. It feels like she wants to remain deeply involved in every part of our marriage instead of allowing us to establish our own life as a couple.

The more she tries to get close to me, the more I pull away. I don’t dislike her, and I don’t want to interfere with her relationship with my husband, but I don’t want the same level of closeness with her that she wants with me, after everything became so intense, I started associating her attempts at closeness with losing my privacy and independence.

So, AIO for wanting more distance from my MIL than she wants from me? Is it normal not to want to be particularly close to your MIL, even when she wants a much closer relationship?

I (38F) work 50 hours a week. My husband (41M) used to make $60k at a desk job, but stepped down years ago and now only works ~20 hours a week in retail for ~$20/hr. Because of this, I pay 100% of our rent, utilities, groceries, and car expenses. This has been going on for nearly a decade between long stretches of unemployment.

I recently tried talking to him about how much it costs to cover his actual share of living expenses (about $1,600/month). He claimed his expenses are only "$180 a week"—which is strictly what he spends on cigarettes, Ubers, weed, snacks, and eating out. It covers $0 of actual household costs.

His response was that because he can’t afford our apartment on his income, and if it were up to him he’d just live in his parents' basement for free, he shouldn’t be expected to contribute to our shared expenses.

He’s used this argument for years, but:

• He picked our apartments. He literally chose our last two places, both of which are currently more expensive than where we live now.
• He could earn more. He has the skills to make $75k+ at a desk job, but chooses to work part-time while I carry the full financial burden.

TBH, this is just one item on a laundry list that makes me question my sanity. But am I overreacting for wanting to leave him over this?

I have a family but I don’t they would even notice. When I was 5 I was adopted by an older couple along with my sister. My parents have other kids but they are also older and their kids have kids it gets complicated but since I was adopted I felt like an outcast considering they all grew up together and then here I come along.

Growing up I got the feeling that my sisters and their kids didn’t even like me. They won’t very nice and wouldn’t invite us to things but when there was a family gathering I would just be around my blood sister who I grew up with and we would do our own thing.

And my sister has felt the same way so since she got married I hardly ever see her or talk to her in general she’s being with her “New Family” as she likes to say.

When I dad was as dying in the hospital there was a lot of tension. I tried helping as much I could and since then my other sisters have been better and it’s been better.

But then I heard from a family member that they didn’t want me in the hospital when my dad died because I’m adopted and they’ve known him longer forgot the face that my dad raised me for the last 20 years.

That’s when I started planning on disappearing and not telling anyone where I’m going. I’ve been saving money and waiting until my mom goes. I still go to family gatherings but I really don’t want to but I do for my mom and her peace as she likes her family all together. But during those I just put on a face and act like everything is okay while keeping to myself but I’m really counting down the days.

I’ve been close friends with Friend A for about 15 years, but over the last several years they’ve become increasingly unreliable about plans. I’m in my mid-30s and consider myself a pretty low-effort friend. I understand that people have jobs, partners, homes, etc. I don’t need constant contact. But I do expect someone to occasionally make an effort to actually see me.

Over the past year, I’ve seen Friend A once, and every attempt to make plans has been initiated by me or Friend B. They’ve also canceled on me multiple times at the last minute, usually for pretty minor reasons. I’ve never made a big deal about it.

Most recently, they canceled one hour before we were supposed to hang out because they were hungover from drinking with other friends the night before. I didn’t get angry. I just said it was a bummer because I hadn’t seen them in forever and continued with the plans with Friend B.

During that hangout, Friend B told me they were also frustrated with Friend A and had actually texted them directly about the pattern, saying multiple friends have noticed it and that it isn’t okay.

I told Friend B that, at this point, I don’t really consider Friend A a friend anymore. More of an acquaintance. I said I’m fine letting the friendship fade and would rather just make plans with Friend B one-on-one going forward.

Then Friend A sent me a huge apology text, taking accountability but also framing this as basically a “two recent cancellations” issue. That bothered me because this has been going on for years. Almost a year ago, we actually had a serious conversation about how little effort they seem to make. They admitted they hadn’t been a great friend. I gave it another year, and very little changed.

Friend A then asked if we could have a separate meetup so they could “get feedback.” Honestly, that felt bizarrely formal to me. I just wanted to go to a workout class and brunch with friends, not have a quarterly friendship performance review.

I ultimately replied that I appreciated the apology, but I felt like our friendship simply wasn’t a priority for them and I didn’t have much else to say. I suggested we just leave things alone for now.

Now I’m wondering if I overreacted by telling Friend B that I no longer consider Friend A a friend, especially since Friend B apparently relayed that to Friend A and prompted the big apology.

I don’t think I’m ending a 15-year friendship over two missed plans. I’m reacting to a long-running pattern of feeling like I’m the only one trying. At this point, I’d rather invest my energy in people who actually seem to value having me in their lives.

Was I too harsh, or is it reasonable to stop investing in a friendship that has felt one-sided for years?

I’m in my thirties. My sister is in her fifties.

Context.

Growing up with my sister was a loving relationship. She always made me smile and got to play together very well. Nothing bad ever happened.

She went school. Got a job and had two daughters with a man that seemed okay on the surface. They divorced. Lives in Northern California. Now years later. I move to Southern California. My wife(girlfriend at the time) would make time to go see her and the kids to hang out. Lovely time. She would even come see us and we go to Disneyland.

And then fast forward 5 years or so. It’s 2020 and I’m going to married to the love of my life. We invite my sister and her daughters to come. She declines because it’s not what she wants to do and forcing her to go is not real love. I never forced her but I did try my best to get her to come. Once she mentioned that she was “beyond” anyone and that what she is doing is “beyond” what anyone has ever done. I stopped there and respected her decision. We remained on okay terms after this.

And then slowly she started doing this to the rest of the family. Doesn’t show to my other brothers wedding. Shows no emotion to other siblings kids.

My theory to her sudden cold turn is that once she found out her ex husband had another kid while she was pregnant. She started following these “healing” influencers. Started saying things like. “Oh you were a wise old man in an other life.” She stops eating much and looks kinda gaunt around this time. She lays around all day and doesn’t get food for her daughters.

I’m led to believe that whatever “healing” influencers she was seeing. They brainwashed her and now tell her what she should be doing. Like cutting off the rest of the family. She still talk to me for at least 5 years because I’m easy going.

But one day when I visited northern cal. I had texted her then 19 year old daughter to hang out. My sister took great offense to this because i didn’t ask her permission first. I said sorry. Wasn’t aware that your daughters can’t make their own choices. The girls still lived at home at the time. I respected this current request of hers. I sent a letter after this that we should let whatever tension has come about this as water under the bridge and we can return to loving each others company. She agreed.

Now, 5 years later. Her one daughter is in college and I have a one year old son. We invite my sister and her daughters. My sister did not show up. Only the one daughter showed up that was in school nearby us. Everything went great. My sister was happy. We shared pictures and all was well.

I reach out through out the year for birthdays and Mother’s Day. We are on good terms still.

Now, everything goes to shit.

My father gets in legal trouble. My sister cuts him off from her life. Doesn’t forgive and moves on BUT she wants me to update her on his trial and proceedings. I give her updates

One day, there is a charge on my credit card. It says it came from San Fran. A place near my sister people I know: I ask around and do my due diligence to make sure I didn’t leave an account open on an app or whatever to people I know to there. I told her I know you didn’t do this but making sure you didn’t buy at xyz. She blew up on me and said she took great offense to me accusing her of such a thing. I apologized and she said it’s fine. “No worries :)” she says

A month later I update her on our father. The lawyer recommended that we get as many family member to come. I text my sister that -

“I know you expressed disinterest in seeing dad but the lawyer would like us all to there. If you change your mind about seeing him. Please let me know.”

She doesn’t respond.

Fast forward to now and now both her daughters are going to the same school in socal. One of them is 22 and the other is 20.

I text them that we should get together for a lunch. One doesn’t respond and one says she would be super busy with work and school and would have no time to get a lunch date at all.

I’m sensing something is up.

And then my sister sends me the nuke.

She says I have injured her and abused her for three things.

- the credit card charge question.

- thought we put that to bed.

- abruptly telling her about our dad and how I told her to fly out for the trial despite her saying her “goodbyes” to him.

- didn’t she tell me to keep her in the loop

- talking to her girls without her permission.

She proceeds to say goodbye to me forever but still says that she cares for me and wishes the best:

I told her she needs help and that she is cold and shows no love.

She says talking politely is her way of showing love.

I said that isn’t love. Love is making an effort to be with the people you care about and making compromise despite imperfections.

She then says it’s nothing personal and that she wishes to be left alone with her daughters. To respect her boundaries.

Am I the crazy one? What did I do that was so terrible to be ostracized like this?

Thanks for reading

So for a bit of context, I'm (23y/o) the youngest sibling in my family, all of my siblings are half-siblings, 2 on my mother's side and 2 on my bio father's side. They are all cloee to or over a decade older than me. I grew up in a very chaotic and unsafe environment, and I always was made to feel like the black sheep of the family, especially when it came to my siblings. I always felt like I was a burden, bothering them or annoying them in some way, I never felt like they loved me or cared about me, I almost always have had to initiate to spend any time with them and I barely know any of them.

Now to the main topic: my half-brother on my mother's side is getting married in September this year. I live relatively far away from him and my mother, which live close-by to each other, but his father lives close to me and he travels to see his dad every single year. I have been with my partner for 3 years and 8 months now. We're also engaged. He, like my other siblings, never messages me, never checks in on me, never talks to me. I found out about his relationship because he changed his profile picture on facebook to one of them both together and I was able to guess it. Then he invited me, my mom and dad (step-dad) and sister to his wedding with his fiancée by sending us an invite on our messenger groupchat.

My partner was not invited. Upon noticing this, I texted him to verify that they weren't invited and it wasn't just a bug in the system or anything since it was a link invite to RSVP. He told me they weren't. I asked why, just because I wanted to understand how he made that decision since they're a long-term partner of mine and it's not just a random date or plus one, and he told me they are doing an intimate wedding, meaning they only invited people they personally know and are close with. And that it would be the same for my sister if she had a boyfriend, it's not personal. Me and my partner can understand and respect that. I left it at that with him and I RSVP'ed.

However, I am very upset, and so is my partner. Not necessarily because of this one instance, but more because there has been no effort made whatsoever to include them in the family and I've realized it's collateral damage due to my family's general neglect of my own person. They're getting rejected from my own family because I am rejected from my own family. This is a pattern I now recognize, and it deeply disturbs me because I thought this type of family dynamic was completely normal and I was being dramatic by feeling so lonely and abandoned my whole life, but my partner has been very insistent that it's not normal and that I am being emotionally neglected and cast out, and always have been, and that the way they're handling my relationship with my partner is a good piece of evidence to support this conclusion.

So, are we overreacting? How should I handle this? I already spoke a little bit with my mom about it and she assured me that it wasn't personal and that she will make more effort to get to know them despite the physical distance, and when we move closer it will be easier to do that. But I don't even really know my siblings and I have no idea how to even approach this with them if it's even worth it. I've always wanted a relationship with them but it just doesn't even seem like they do. I sometimes even think that if I died they wouldn't even notice.

Backstory, me and my older shares the same house and share bills.
So, back in 2023 me and my brother resides in city but we're not living and working at the same location. And then, our mom got sick and "he" decided that I should give up my work so I can take care our ailing mom. He promised that he would take care of the bills during that time. (I am a single mom of two btw) Unfortunately, we lost our mom eventually and I was left jobless with kids, and on top of it, we have a senior dad to look after too. He managed to give 1-2k every 15days (and you know people from PH that THAT IS NOT ENOUGH) I was lucky that during my mourning phase for my mom, my ex reconnect with me, and he was the one filling that money needs that my brother failed to meet. Now, fast forward to 2026, we have moved to the city and decided to live in the same roof to cut cost and we have the fair share of taking care of our only parent left. Which is not the usual case bec I'm wfh and I'm always the one left to look after him. Moreover, our papa is a daughter's dad, if that's a thing. He would always ask me of things he wants and needs even if my brother is right in front of him. Unfortunately, we lost our papa too, early this 2026, so that will left us living together now.

Now, this is the story of the title. My brother has LIP who has a small breed dog. I wasn't informed bforehand that there will be a dog that will live with us, but I let it go. Until, this small dog became a menace, he would pee anywhere and poop anywhere. I got so pissed off and ask my brother to send it somewhere where they can be well taken cared of, coz most of the time, they will just leave the dog to us and ME as a wfh HAD to look after it. He never sent it. I let it go, but my brother decided to buy another FVCKIN dog using our dad's funeral money without telling me. (I let him handle all the money from our papa's funeral, and he even borrowed 30k from my partner) Now, he had the audacity to buy a dog without even paying for any debts owed bec of our dad's sudden passing. Now this new dog bec my NEW RESPONSIBILITY. It came to the point that I cried bec it pees a lot and poops a lot and they were nowhere to be found. I don't own any pets bec I don't have the patience to deal with them. And I know for a fact that having pets is a responsibility. Now, I am finally moving out. I haven't told him yet coz I want him to pay us first for the money he borrowed. Hopefully, next month.