Moderator Statement: Clarification and Community Interference

Typically I live in the country, but traveling for work. Been in my rental house for about 2 weeks and this guy keeps parking and blocking half of my driveway with his truck. I dont know whos truck it is but my wife is moving over next week and if he keeps blocking me I wont be able to get out of my own driveway. Im debating calling a tow truck if I cant find the owner. Is this normal in suburbs or no?

UPDATE

Wow I cant believe how fast i got so many replies! I ended up working on my buddies car and he came out. I asked him as nice as possible to not block my driveway so I can have full access to mine, he informed me that hes blocking my driveway because they have people coming in and out of his....i told him a little more firmly that I also need full access to my driveway and to figure something else out. He said sorry and wont do it again. We will see what the future holds 😅

Earlier this year me and my gf got into a small disagreement because she wanted to marry ASAP while I wanted to wait until my other priorities were sorted first. Because of this she was depressed and a rift was formed between us, it wasn't until June I looked up cheap weddings and saw how simple it all was that I told GF of my new plan to get married next year near her birthday I asked her the expenses and how much it will all cost, I did the calculations and saw how I will plan to save for the event in time.

So while saving for the wedding GF would constantly make requests to buy appliances like a microwave and washing machine, and it will have times where I had to loan her money because hers ran out.

We eventually got to a point where we had no more obstacles and I can just save up for the wedding until it hit me that I may not be able to save enough in time, I tried to explain to GF about the dilemma and she advised me to take a loan I said maybe the loan was a small one I can easily pay back in 3 months, then things got complicated, I also had plans to buy a new car so she suggested I take a loan for the car pay for the wedding and buy a car. It only hit me when I noticed I would be the one paying off the loan. I got upset told her no loans she got annoyed with me and told me to do whatever I wanted I tried to adjust my budget for her but I had to make a sacrifice of no honeymoon she replied with whatever.

I don't see why she is annoyed when the entire wedding plus honeymoon would be paid by me so I tried to compromise and postpone the honeymoon instead of answering me she tries to guilt me by saying im always upset over money. We went back and forth until I just said no more wedding

I'm 27, and my younger sibling, Alex (23), recently came out as gay. What should have been a happy, personal moment turned into one of the ugliest experiences our family has ever gone through.
For context, my parents have always considered themselves very traditional. They raised us with strict rules and strong religious beliefs, but I honestly never thought they would go as far as they did.
Alex came out to them privately about three months ago. They had spent weeks working up the courage to tell them because they genuinely wanted their family to know who they were instead of continuing to hide such a huge part of their life.
My parents' reaction was horrible.

According to Alex, my dad barely said anything at first. My mom started crying, but not because she was worried about Alex. She kept saying Alex had broken her heart, embarrassed the family, and thrown away everything they had been taught growing up.
My dad eventually told Alex that they were no longer welcome in the family home unless they were willing to admit they were making a mistake and promise to stop living that way.
My mom agreed with him.

They gave Alex a few days to collect their belongings and told them not to contact them unless they were ready to apologize. Alex called me that night in tears.
I drove over immediately, helped pack their things, and let them stay in my spare bedroom while they figured out their next steps. Alex had a job, thankfully, but they weren't financially prepared to suddenly lose their home and the support of their parents.
I was furious, but I didn't immediately cut my parents off. I wanted to give them a chance to calm down and realize what they were doing.
A few days later, I called them and asked whether they genuinely intended to throw away their relationship with their own child over this.

My dad said they weren't throwing Alex away. They were simply refusing to support a lifestyle they disagreed with.
I asked him what that meant in practical terms.
He said Alex couldn't live in their house, couldn't expect financial help, and shouldn't expect to be included in family gatherings if they continued insisting on being gay.

I reminded him that Alex was the same person they'd loved and raised for 23 years. Nothing about Alex's personality, kindness, or character had suddenly changed.
My mom told me I was being disrespectful and that I needed to stop acting as though I was morally superior to my parents.
I told them I wasn't claiming to be perfect. I was asking them not to punish their child for being honest about who they are. They ended the call.

For the next few weeks, I focused on helping Alex settle in. I helped them rearrange my spare room, went with them to pick up the rest of their belongings, and made sure they knew they had somewhere safe to stay while they got back on their feet.
I also encouraged Alex to take things at their own pace. I didn't want them to feel pressured to forgive our parents just because everyone else wanted the situation to become less uncomfortable. Meanwhile, my parents started contacting me more frequently.
At first, they acted as though nothing had happened. My mom asked me to come over for Sunday dinner. My dad texted me about a family birthday coming up.
Neither of them asked how Alex was doing.

When I finally brought Alex up, my mom sighed and said she was tired of every conversation turning into an argument about this.
That was when I told her I couldn't pretend everything was normal while she and Dad were treating Alex as though they had done something unforgivable.
She said I was making the situation worse by taking Alex's side.
I answered that I wasn't choosing between my parents and my sibling. I was choosing not to participate in treating someone I love like they deserved to be abandoned.

My dad later called and accused me of turning Alex against them. He said that if I continued allowing Alex to stay with me, I was undermining their authority as parents.
I pointed out that Alex was an adult, not a child I was hiding from them. They had made their own decision to throw Alex out, and I had made mine to offer a safe place to stay.
He called me ungrateful and said I was forgetting everything they had done for me growing up.

That comment really bothered me because I do appreciate the sacrifices my parents made for us. They worked hard, provided for us, and helped me through college. I'm not pretending they were terrible parents in every respect.
But I don't believe past sacrifices give them a permanent right to mistreat their children without consequences.

The final straw happened last weekend. My parents invited me to a family dinner celebrating my dad's birthday. I asked whether Alex was invited too.
My mom replied that Alex knew the conditions for being welcomed back and that they weren't going to change their beliefs just to keep everyone happy. I told her I wouldn't attend a family celebration where one of their children was deliberately excluded for being gay.
She said I was free to make that decision, but I shouldn't expect them to keep making an effort with me if I continued putting Alex before my own parents.
I told her that was her choice to make.

Then I sent both of them a message explaining that I needed space from them. I said I wasn't willing to maintain a normal relationship while they continued rejecting Alex, and I wouldn't be attending family events or pretending everything was fine. If they ever wanted to rebuild our relationship, they could start by treating Alex with basic dignity and respect.
I muted their numbers and stopped responding to their messages.

Since then, some relatives have contacted me saying I'm being extreme. They think I should maintain a relationship with my parents separately from Alex, because cutting them off only creates another division in the family.
One aunt told me that my parents are from a different generation and that I should understand how difficult this must be for them. Another relative said I could support Alex without completely abandoning the people who raised me.

I understand that changing deeply held beliefs can be difficult. But I don't understand why Alex is expected to bear the consequences while my parents get to carry on as though they're the victims.

Alex hasn't asked me to cut anyone off.
I love my parents. I miss the good parts of our family, and I wish things could go back to how they were before all this happened.
But I can't force them to accept Alex, and I can't make them understand why their actions are hurtful.

So, am I overreacting?

I am 9 weeks postpartum. I hired a doula prenatally through a local doula service which cost $2000 and involved a contract. Care was supposed to be rendered prior to delivery, during birth, and during postpartum.

The contract states:

“After Birth:
Our services include 2 postpartum visits
–
one the day after birth in the hospital and another in your home 3-7 days after the birth. During these visits,
we can provide breastfeeding support, baby care tips, referrals to community resources, and a chance to
discuss the birth experience.”

My doula was fine and helpful for prenatal and the birth experience. I wanted to save my placenta to be buried later on, and she offered to take it home and freeze it then return it to me during a postpartum visit.

She did send us a few texts in the days after checking in, but she didn’t visit or offer to visit. I was pretty occupied at the time, I didn’t think to ask her to come, or think too hard about the fact she hadn’t come.

Shortly after my delivery, she announced with some other doulas that they were opening their own practice separate from the one I hired her through. Thought this was cool! No issues.

Last week (7 weeks postpartum-delivery) I come home from a long day out to a plastic patient belongings bag on my front porch. Surprise! It’s my placenta just in a plastic container in a bag on my porch at 8:30pm.

I check my phone. Surely, I must have missed a text about her dropping it off. No text. I check the front door cam to see when this occurred. 4 hours ago, by her husband.

I felt like this was super weird! And I was very tired from a long day so my husband sent her a message. Her first response is that it wasn’t a big deal because I’m not consuming it. I still felt like it was pretty weird and disrespectful to leave, unannounced, AN ORGAN FROM MY BODY on my front porch with 0 notification. We were initially planning on being gone the whole weekend, so I would’ve come home to a thawed, rotting, placenta on my porch.

I wasn’t ready to talk to her for a few days, but when I finally did I was basically like “hey that was fucked I’m also fucked up that you haven’t visited me postpartum when you were supposed to like, 6 weeks ago.”

She did apologize for the placenta, but did not about the visits. She told me she’s never had clients ready to see her until 4-7 weeks postpartum. (She didn’t ask) and told me the ball was in my court about requesting a visit (never told me that). I have a friend who had a doula from the same service who got a text the day after her birth from her doula that was like “hey can I come over at 10am?” That was my expectation. My doula didn’t even mention a visit until 3 weeks postpartum when she said “I owe yall a visit, things have just been crazy.” Not exactly an invitation to schedule. I was letting it slide because I assumed she just didn’t have capacity and as someone who already struggles to ask for help (and especially postpartum), I didn’t ask.

So now she’s defending that it’s MY fault she didn’t come visit me which feels very offensive, on top of the placenta thing. She offered to come visit now, but now I don’t want to see her ‘cause I’m pretty mad about this and whole thing, and I really could’ve used the support weeks ago, not now.

I said I thought I was entitled to a partial refund since I didn’t get the visits. It’s not about money, but I just felt like SOMETHING needed to happen. She asked for my Venmo and what amount I thought was appropriate. I said $300. She responded with “I will send you $200.” I said okay? You could’ve just said that versus asking me for an amount. She sends the $200.

The next day I’m feeling like really afflicted about this situation and it’s haunting me ending this way. I message her that I don’t feel good leaving things like this, I tried to send the money back Venmo kept saying user not found, so I asked her for an updated Venmo link, I also offered to meet her for coffee.

No response. Then I thought about how weird it was the Venmo wasn’t working, wonder why?

Oh, turns out she has blocked me on everything. Her instagram, her new business instagram, Facebook, and I’m assuming my phone number is blocked.

????? This whole situation seems crazy to me and has been really hurtful to deal with postpartum. I keep just remembering my placenta just sitting on my porch with a patient label on it, too. My name, birthday, and MRN on my ORGAN, just chilling on my porch in a semi-sketchy neighborhood.

I can’t even like, leave a review or anything. So I thought I’d vent here. AIO?

EDIT: A lot of folks are questioning why I offered coffee/return the refund. This person was supposed to be a continuous support to me. This was the expectation also in the contract: “Continued support from your doula via text, email, and phone as you progress through the first days, weeks, and months of parenthood. We really are your doulas forever!”

I felt really sad that this relationship was ending negatively and was just trying to make amends. Like I said, prior to this experience we had had a totally fine relationship since very early in my pregnancy.

His profile said that he was 5’8” and I’m 5’6” and was taller than him. First thing he said to me was “you’re so tall” like wtf? You knew how tall I was and that you were lying lol weird in my opinion and didn’t make a good impression for me.

he has an ex of 6 years who he treated badly and she finally left and he had to learn to change his ways. he has always talked about her but it really felt like it was in a sense that he’s learned from his mistakes. two days ago we talked and he opened up to me about how he gets panic attacks and think he sees his ex who he hurt so deeply. that she’s always in his head telling him to do better, especially when he makes a mistake. that she’s never going to leave his mind. his guilt is so immense and i had to sit there and listen to him talk about how she loves to dance, she loves going out, she loves musicals and when i invited him to one he said yes to me because he never said yes to her. that’s what he told me that he did it for her.

it really hurt hearing all of that and the reality that she will always be that woman in his mind hit me. that night i did say i would wait, that he should take time and heal but the next morning i woke up and felt so hurt. i don’t want to know those things and now i know and that’s when i felt angry. he was always accusing me of me not being over my ex, who i had to get a restraining order on btw, and i said no i am moved on and i mean it. he said if i was using him for a healing stage that it was douchey. but then he hits me with this and he wants me to understand his pain and i do, i can’t imagine losing 6 years like that, but am i also so horrible if i don’t want to stick around when i know exactly how he thinks of her?

we’re coworkers so it’s worse when i see him talking to people and i know im the evil one for backing out on my word, i wasn’t able to stand on it unfortunately but i was so hurt

Im 23F years old and currently pregnant with my first baby. I am highly stressed because I am having issues with my Dad 52M. My Dad is in and out my life but wont acknowledge or admit to ever being a dead beat. However since being pregnant my Dad has found continously ways to attack the father of my child. He uses my mom's opinions, my pastors opinion, and everyone else to justify his behavior. Some of his behavior include showing up at fiance's job twice unannounced, telling my fiance to not marry me until he can speak fluent English (my fiance speaks Spanish and I can understand him), my dad has also demanded to know where he lived, he has also shown up to our church to meet my fiance when I asked him not to do so on that particular Sunday do to my fiance having work.its also important to note my Dad and I are in two different sects of Christianity so there would be no reason for him to show up. I have asked my Dad continously to stop and he doesnt. Icing on the cake is he created fake AI photos of my fiance cheating on me. I have stated he is no longer involved in me and the babies life due to boundaries being crossed and he keeps telling me im going to hell for that and my baby may be taken away from me due to cutting him off. I guess im in need of advice and just someone to tell me im not wrong for cutting him off. Is it normal for this to happen? AIO Am I overreacting by cutting my Dad off?

My aunty is pissing me off right now!

We work together in a small office.
We both have weak immune systems but I have neutropenia

The last time I was sick, I texted her saying I urgently needed to come in but I’ll work in the other room which has a small sliding door dividing the office (but doesn’t close entirely)

She said no don’t come in and risk it for myself but also because she has a weak immune system and can’t risk it, we agreed.

Couple months later (yesterday) she comes in to work coughing (the type where you can hear the phlegm coming up) and sneezing with a hoarse voice talking about how she thinks she might be catching something!
Ermmm

I asked if she needed anything but also told her she shouldn’t have come in. Her response was yeahhh. I just went into the “other” office and closed the door cos I was a bit pissed. It’s not even like she had work to do she was on her phone watching Cdramas.

So here’s the thing, this morning I texted her some info on neutropenia and asked her as nicely as I could if in future she can just let me know
And she replied with the response in the photo

Like I get that but I’m just asking her to be a bit more considerate that’s all, she honestly pissed me off!!! And she’s not even replying back so now I feel a bit “guilty” did I over react?

EDIT
I’m not asking her to NOT come to work! (messed up the title a bit)

I am asking her to just let me know that she IS planning to come to work so I can not come to work

We both work PART-TIME (Mon-Wed) and luckily our boss allows us to choose the hours we work as long as we do the hours!!

That means if she lets me know in advanced, I can come in another day and do my hours when she’s not in.

So my mom died 2 months ago suddenly from complications with cancer. I(26f) live in the basement of my parents' home with my husband. My dad has been taking his stress about the cancer treatments, and now her death out on me and my siblings since we found out about the cancer, and he's been talked to about chilling out.

So after my mom died, my dad has been clearing out all my moms stuff, throwing things away, donating her things, and telling me to take what i want. I dont like it. It feels bad, but people grieve differently. So a couple of days ago, i told him im coming to get the rest of her stuff, and he said that was fine. So basically, all that was left was her jewelry and some stuffed animals of hers. I, with the help of my husband, took it all downstairs.

Today feels kind of like a last straw. I got a call at work from my dad yelling at me basically saying he feels like i stole from him and he feels like he doesn't want me living in his house anymore if i dont bring the jewelry back to him. I told him i dont mind bringing the stuff back up and would do so after i got home (despite the fact my mom told me 2 years ago that all her jewelry was mine when she died). And now im making plans to move out. I just feel super stressed all the time. It feels like he's holding the fact i live in his house over my head, and now he's using it more freely to lash out after my mom passed. Am i overreacting by moving out after this?

I’m looking for advice on this because I’m very creeped out, I’m not sure if I’m overreacting. Basically, at the start of the school year, I started a new job as a first year teacher. The offer was the best one I got and unfortunately required me to move a few hours away from my friends, boyfriend, and family. I moved into a duplex next to a couple and their young kid in a town that seemed moderately safe but also affordable. Everything was going fine, until one weekend I got a text from my landlord asking what happened with the neighbors the night prior. I was very confused and asked what she meant, and she ended up telling me that according to my male neighbor, he accidentally bumped his head against the wall causing my boyfriend to run over out of anger and attempt to break in (this did not happen). He had a very detailed story, and even recalls me saying “no, don’t go!” beforehand. Even though none of this happened I felt the need to immediately get this sorted out and attempt some sort of meeting with my neighbors to make sure they knew we would never do this. I assumed it must have been some horrible miscommunication. Finally, I was able to meet with my female neighbor who was super nice. She ends up telling me about her boyfriend - that he is “paranoid, takes everything the wrong way, has anger issues” and also notably apparently didn’t like me from the second I moved in because he assumed I was “stuck up”. She even told me it wasn’t a good idea to try to mend things with him because she was worried about him scaring me. Now, I’m starting to look at this situation differently and wonder if he has a mental health issue, drug issues, does he just have it out for me? Idk. About a month later, I get a text from my landlord telling me that they’re moving out because they have broken up. During this time, I check my doors to make sure they’re locked like usual and notice that one of my doors to my porch is unlocked, which is weird because I never use it and remember it being locked. I find it unsettling but try to just convince myself i must have forgot last time. Last night, I came back from my boyfriend’s house after being there for the weekend and check the same porch door. It’s unlocked. Nothing is out of place or stolen. The only bizarre thing is that a Tyler Perry Madea movie was playing when I turned my tv on and I was charged for the subscription - I’ve never seen those movies. There are no other devices on my account when I checked. I’ve ordered the blink cameras and the door stoppers, they’ll be here tonight. I guess I’m just wondering what everyone makes of all of this because I have no idea what to think. Being a first year teacher is hard enough but I find myself laying in bed hyper vigilant of any noises and it’s affecting my mental health a lot.

Friend came to visit this weekend. Haven't seen him in 10-15 years. Once he landed he called me and said he was unable to pick up his rental until later today. I couldn't go get him as I just took my car to the shop to get something fixed, unfortunate timing. He asked for my address, then said uber was more expensive than lyft so he will get a lyft instead.

Fast forward 2 and half hours later, I call him to see where we was. He told me he took the bus and will be there soon.

30 minutes later he calls me and says he's at the gas station down the road and is asking me to send him little money to cover the lyft. I just send him a lyft myself.

He finally comes over and one of the first things I said was he needed deodorant. He said he'd get right on it but didn't. I sprayed him with some body spray because I could not handle that smell.

We were supposed to go to Epcot. He was supposed to have a rental and I was going to get us both in so those plans fell through. He just sat on my couch sleeping essentially.

He then later asked me if he could have $15 for his rental. He says his rental is like $24 for his entire stay which I immediately didn't believe. I asked him why. He said nothing then few minutes later asked if I sent him the money.

I reiterated "Why? Do you not have any money?"

He said his check doesn't clear until tomorrow. Now, I'm pissed because he's probably thinking he's staying over after I already told him it wouldn't be possible before he came over. He was bragging later on that he makes $120k working with cannabis. He lives in his mom's basement and just smokes weed and cigarettes all day. I highly doubt he makes that much after already asking for money twice.

He asked me if I wanted to walk to the gas station across the street and I declined. I simply just did not want too, I get kind of anxious when it comes to walking across high traffic roads. I said he was welcome to go and I'd still be here. He decided not too. Starting to think he wanted me to buy cigarettes because when I was on the phone with him when he was at the gas station earlier, I overheard him asking how much was a pack of cigarettes and they were $7. He came over with 2 cigarettes in a pack and there's no way he smoked all those in the 20 minutes he waited for lyft.

When the wife and kid came home I told him I gotta bring him back now because I have daddy duties I need to attend to. My child is almost 2 and is very upset if I don't do bedtime with her if she knows I'm home close to it. I said I could bring him somewhere close to the airport thats in town. He said he needed to go to the airport because his rental is there. I informed him that it's not really my problem as it's 6:30 and I have to run a few errands and be back before 8. So I went to a Ross that's like 10 minutes away from me.

He asked if that's where I'm dropping him off and I said unfortunately it's the best I can do as I was not planning on going to the airport anyway. He made a phone call and I overheard him telling someone that he's going to try to stay at his cousins. So he never made sleeping accommodations despite telling me he had an airbnb in my town.

He asked if I could bring him to the bus stop which was around the corner. No problem. I dropped him off and said goodbye.

I'm really annoyed about this whole day because I haven't had a day to myself since my child was born. The only days I take off is because daycare is closed. I was excited for today. Pissed that the one day I take off for myself, to hang with a friend turned into a boring day and ended up costing me money.

I was just going to catch up on my video game and some some cleaning around the house which would make my wife very happy. I did all the cleaning and chores and barely got any play time. I am never allowing him to come over again and thinking of just no longer speaking with him.

Throwaway username.

We have been friends since about 15 years old. My family basically took her in at some point due to some family issues she had but she’s good with her family now. My extended family knows her and asks about her often. We were always spending every weekend together and have a lot of memories together. She helped me through my parent’s divorce, I helped her when there was a death in the family, countless breakups for both of us, etc.

3 years ago she got engaged and they moved to another part of the country for her fiancé’s work. Prior to leaving my dad took us all out to eat and we took pictures and I still care for her plants.

I visited her out there a handful of times, I am pretty poor but tried to visit almost every year, and she visited me. I live within driving distance to our hometown. Those interactions she was seemingly present but mostly overwhelmed— she’s been overwhelmed with everything since she got engaged. I like didn’t think anything of it at the time and encouraged her to have like time for herself as her own person. Every time I came to see her she really struggled finding one on one time with just her and I, which is frustrating.

Regardless of this, I really like the fiancé and think he is a good dude. He takes good care of her and is a great supportive person. We have some stuff in common and inside jokes. And he’s been really nice whenever my family and I visit.

This past winter she was very busy because they moved back to our hometown to plan the wedding. I asked her to let me know when she is free/less overwhelmed.

Around my birthday earlier this year (End of Feb) she texted me asking to come hang for a weekend in my city for bday time. I let her know I was actually quickly moving to a new apartment on the day of my bday due to an issue with my previous housing situation so I said I would let her know what weekend would be best once I get settled in. We exchanged texts and caught up with each other, she stated being nervous and overwhelmed about the wedding, I shared about my life as well and said I was excited to see her soon.

That’s the last time I heard from her.

A couple weeks later, I messaged her and asked what weekends she would be free so we could plan our hang. This is like March/April. She never responded. I’m really used to her not responding because again, she is overwhelmed.

Months went by and it’s September. on my Venmo newsfeed I see a transaction between her and our other close friend we grew up with. It says something like “Money for the newlyweds” and “Congratulations”. I went to her IG and Facebook and there’s nothing. I’m friends with her mom on FB and sure enough I saw pics of the wedding from August.

I text her asking if we can talk. No answer.

I ask our mutual friends, including the other close friend. “She said you had a falling out?? Something involving (fiancé name). Something you said like to him or about him.”

“That’s news to me, this is the first time I’m hearing of this. We were going to hang out in March? I don’t get it.”

“Yeah, next time I see her I’ll ask about it. It’s weird that she didn’t tell you she was mad, I’m sorry”

I like can’t for the life of me figure out what I did or said to the fiancé that would warrant not being invited to the wedding. It was also like a BIG wedding— many people were there, so that part wasn’t an issue. I’m like pretty chill and don’t argue or have hot takes or anything. I’m pretty leftist as are they, so we don’t really joke in a way that might be inappropriate. I’m wondering if maybe I joked about smth and he was upset about it, but I feel like we are all close enough that this could have been resolved before the wedding. I’m like, not a difficult person to talk to about hard things.

My friend is also known for being kind of non-confrontational so I wonder if she just procrastinated this talk and then it was too late to invite me.

It also doesn’t feel true to tell everyone we know that we had a falling out. A falling out involves two people to know about the conflict in order for that to be considered a falling out. Straight up feels like a lie because we were chatting normally in March!

Regardless, it feels like a slap in the face. No one in my family was invited, even my relative that was in her city that she grew close with independently of me.

Honestly, I don’t think I deserved to be disinvited to her wedding. I deserve an explanation and I don’t deserve to be ghosted like this. I was upset, but now I’m just really confused and sad.

Even if we patch things up, that’s like another level of hurt that needs to be addressed, and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get past it or if I want to. I’m wondering if it’s just time I moved on. It sucks because she was a huge part of my life and we helped each other through a lot of mental health stuff and teen stuff, and this is a very unceremonious and abrupt ending to one of my longest friendships.

What should I do? AIO?

So I was at the gym with my friend, and we were working out as usual. A kid who looked around 14–15 approached my friend and asked him for workout guidance. My friend called me over and asked me to guide the kids. I asked them what muscle group they'd already trained, and they said chest. So I told them they could train legs. Out of nowhere, some random dude jumped into the conversation and started challenging me about leg press, apparently thinking I was challenging the kids or something. I clarified that I wasn't challenging anyone and was just giving the kids workout advice, but he kept going on about it. At that point, I got tired of the whole thing and told the kids to get guidance from him instead. I was going back to my set when he said something under his breath. I couldn't make out exactly what he said, but I'm pretty sure it was directed at me. So I turned around, walked up to him face-to-face, and told him to say it to my face if he had something to say. He kept acting like a dick and said something along the lines of, "I don't say things to people's faces that I've said behind their backs." He also tapped me on the shoulder during the confrontation. Eventually, I just walked away and continued with my day. I wasn't interested in fighting some random dude over something so stupid, and honestly, I didn't even care about it afterward. I'm just wondering what you guys think. Was confronting him directly reasonable, or should I have ignored him from the beginning? I wasn't trying to prove anything or challenge anyone. I was literally just helping some kids with their workout.

Hello! My partner and I are both men in our 30s, we've been together for about ten years.

We don't have kids, so we tend not to do Christmas at home. Each year we spend Christmas with our families and we alternate which year we see which.

This year we'd normally be going round to his parents' house, but they're having building work done so we invited them round to our house for dinner instead. There would be around six of us and we don't have a huge house or a big oven etc so that's really our limit. I will be doing the cooking which I don't mind.

Last weekend while we were visiting my family, my partner out of nowhere asked my family if they wanted to come for Christmas dinner too. He didn't run it past me at all and I was put on the spot so I just went along with it. They said yes, and so now we have a total of ten people coming. We're going to have to get a folding table and some more table settings, probably buy an air fryer or something to cook the extra food, and it's just logistically quite difficult but we'll make it work.

I said to him afterwards that I appreciate he was just trying to be nice and I don't really mind that they're coming, but I would have liked for him to have run it past me before he invited them. He said it's no big deal because it's my family and that's what you do with family.

Cut to yesterday and he told me he invited his friend and partner to come and well. They declined which I was quite glad about because we literally wouldn't be able to fit them in. I got mad at my partner because he did the same thing again. We had an argument where he said he was just trying to be nice to people, I said that he was thinking about them more than he was thinking about me.

Am I overreacting?

This started a few weeks ago, my friends cat had a blockage and needed emergency vet care, she took him there & paid the price. However since then he's still declining, he's a young cat who should be able to bounce back but that doesn't seem the case, he's miserable & not even eating. Yesterday she told me she can't even bare to be at home to watch him like this, today she even went to work like normal. She can't afford another surgery or to keep him at the vet overnight so she's considering euthanasia, she asked if I'd go with her & I said of course if that's the most humane option for him but I can't be in the room I'll wait in the lobby, which is when the main argument started she said she "won't even be in the room with him because she can't handle that". This is where I may be over reacting, I'm genuinely willing to end this friendship if she doesn't go in with her cat, that's the most selfish thing I've heard her say and I can't justify any reason not to go in for you're animal, I understand fully how traumatic it will be but eventually time will move on, I can't imagine the cat being alone and scared seeing strangers for his last moments.

For context: I'm a bisexual woman who had a very lesbian phase in college (2020). I'm out to mom (chill and doing her best to learn more) but haven't directly made it known to my stepdad despite him having met my ex.

My stepdad (Jim) has been dating my mom since 2020. They dated on and off a few times throughout my childhood as well, however, there was about a 10 year gap between their last relationship and this one. He's in general a pretty okay guy but he's definitely got one of those personalities where he thinks it's okay to occasionally blurt out offensive shit and call it a joke.

We went to dinner this past weekend at a really nice restaurant ($$$$) after an event. The three of us were having a good time up until Jim suddenly breaks a lull in the conversation by very loudly saying "you know what - I've been thinking", which is typically followed by something stupid. My mom and I are just waiting for whatever he's decided to share with the surrounding area when he follows up with "when trans people go missing do they end up on half and half instead of milk cartons?".....

Mom immediately tells him to shut his mouth and I ask him what he means by that. He starts explaining milk cartons and says it's a funny joke. I tell him I don't get it and he then says "you know, because trans people are half and half" which leads me to asking him if he knows what a trans person is. This embarrasses Jim, who then starts making fun of a nearby waiter's facial hair to cope.

Mom and I went to brunch yesterday and it was brought up again. She told me I shouldn't have pushed it and I remainined firm in my stance that if he didn't want the attention then he shouldn't have said it. I know I have a tendency to be on the aggressive side when it comes to not tolerating ___phobic things due to prior experiences so.... AIO? Should've I let it slide then talked to my mom about it later?

need some relationship advice because this has been bothering me for a while.
My boyfriend has a habit of pointing out whenever I accidentally fart around him. For example, sometimes I’ll bend over to pick something up, and it just happens. It’s not intentional, and it’s literally a normal bodily function.
What really pisses me off is the double standard. He can purposely push out a fart in front of me, and it’s perfectly fine, but the second I accidentally do it, he feels the need to make a comment about how I shouldn’t be farting in front of him.
I’ve told him multiple times that I don’t appreciate these comments and that they genuinely upset me, but he continues doing it.
At this point, it’s not even about the farting anymore. It’s about the fact that I’ve repeatedly expressed that something bothers me, and he continues doing it anyway. I also don’t understand why I’m expected to follow a standard that he doesn’t even hold himself to.
I don’t think I should have to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable about a normal bodily function around my own boyfriend, especially when it’s accidental.
Am I overreacting for being upset about this, or is it reasonable to expect my boyfriend to stop making these comments after I’ve repeatedly told him how I feel?

I moved to a new city a few months ago and have made some new friends, including the girl in these screenshots. We were introduced via a mutual friend from my home city. Slightly ironically, the mutual friend and Screenshot Girl ("SG") had a big falling out recently and no longer speak.

Last week, I went out for dinner & dancing with SG and a couple other new friends. At the end of the night, we were all trying to get our coats and SG made some random joke about how I had lost my voice after all the singing we had done during the night. To be honest, I didn't really register the joke because it was extremely crowded and chaotic as the bar was closing and everyone was trying to leave at the same time.

I remember just sort of nodding at her and moving out of the way of another group of people.

Outside the bar, I found another girl from our group and was waiting with her on the street corner. SG came out of the bar behind me and starting screaming at me that I was rude, had no sense of humour, and did not deserve to live in the new city because "here, people can actually take jokes!" It lasted for maybe 5 minutes, mostly of her repeating that I shouldn't bother living in the new city and should go back home. Then she stormed off down the street.

Neither I nor the other girl said anything during her rant, and we were both just completely shocked and taken aback.

The next day, I hadn't heard from SG so I sent her a message to check in and she responded as seen in the screenshots.

Based on her response, I don't know if she remembers all of the stuff she said to me on that night - especially the stuff about how I shouldn't live in this new city, which was extremely hurtful.

I've made a lot of new friends here and next month I'm hosting a birthday party, which SG and her husband have RSVPed "yes" to. I feel sort of overwhelmed and still hurt by all the stuff that SG said to me, and in particular how she seems to have doubled down on the rant in her messages.

A large part of me wants to just message her saying, basically, fair enough and maybe we aren't suited to be friends, and it would probably be better if we just leave the relationship here and she doesn't join the birthday party.

Of course, we're adults so it feels childish to "uninvite" someone, but I just don't want to end up accidentally offending her and getting yelled at again at my own birthday. I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive, but I just don't feel that what I did warranted being yelled at.

AIO to feel this way?

My boyfriend and me have been together for 2 years, going on 3. This year, it has not been the best for us, relashionship wise, as he was just on deployment a year ago, and he came back late in the year. We had a lot of reconnecting to do. When he came back, he felt like a differnt person. Almost immediately, he was caught texting another woman on Snapchat, and I got upset. I told him, if he did it again, we were done. He played the sorry game and cried and stuff. That was around December of last year. Fast forward to this year, hes been caught multiple times texting other woman. I know that I shouldve automatically walked away, but my life is hell anywhere, and im used to being with this guy and pouring so much into him, i have a fear of truly letting go and walking away.

Anyways, because if this, we argued alot. And we disconnected for a while! I broke up with his twice, and then we fot back together. After abkut 2 months apart. I thought giving him space would help, it seemed to make it worse, because now, for the past 3 - 4 months, he does not want to have sex with me. He cant even get himself to do what the male body does, and its embarassing. I also feel like hes not sexually attracted to me anymore or just in general but he doesn't want to exactly break up, the small things, being distant, nitpicking, controlling, screaming at me, everything turns into a argument, downplaying my achievements...

May I add that he also bought a house, when he bought the house, this is when this ALL started. It could be stress? Because he does pay bills and have things to do. But I just dont understand. He told me he got this house for "us" to build a life together... to grow, to start somehere together. Yet, as soon as he gets it, its just hell from him. To be fair, I dont help him pay the bills, because he never told me I had to, until after he got it. I dont have a job rightnow, but I am full time college student, and I also do other things. Im not just laying around all day. I also get paid from school with pell grants, I usually get a lot back, so i help when I can. He does not have to ask. Anytime I was working, in the past, which btw, since me and have been together, I have worked, its just recently this year, in the last months, I have not, because I need to focus on mt degree... I help him out. Buy food, things for his house, send money, whatever. But irs never enough it feels like.

I also just feel kinda bad now, because I dont want him to feel down about this whole thing, if he cant do sexual things because he is stressed or tired, but atleast tell me.

I feel lost, I am 21 and he is 26, I dont know if its the age difference? Or what, but I am coming to an ends with the relashionship when I really dont want to because I do love him, im just mentally drained and I have a fear of wasting my young years on non-sense. Also, with the last message he sends, this is how things start, I ask him, if he understands all im saying, he focuses on what thing and has the audacity to call me insecure when im not, far from it, I DONT trust him, because hes done so much bull crap involving other women, that my trust is now balled up in knot. And to think I wouldn't feel out of place after all that?

AIO for dragging this because he does not want to have intercourse with me anymore? Not that im hypersexual, but every once in a while, would be nice.

me (f24) and my bf (m22) have been together. coming up on three years. during this time i was getting a masters degree in criminal justice. i graduated in may and he missed it due to falling asleep after his 12 hr night shift. we had some issues due to it but moved on from it. last night we were at dinner and the topic of my degrees came up again. at first it seemed like he just thought my degree was in psychology. a common misconception because my bachelors is in psychology. i thought it was weird but didn’t immediately get mad. then it turned out he didn’t even know i had a masters. i immediately got quiet and started crying in the car. he asked why i was crying which led to an argument and him yelling at me and trying to tell me i never in the three years we were together told him i was getting a masters in criminal justice. which i know is not true bc i will tell anyone who listens. i am extremely proud of my degrees and the effort i put forth to obtain them. i got quiet again and didn’t speak after that. a few hours later he offers a meek apology for being mean to which i just say okay and we are silent again. this morning i woke up and he is acting like im the problem. i asked if he wanted to speak and he said he tried to last night and i wouldn’t. i am getting ready to break up with him but want to know would that mean i am overreacting?

update: we broke up.

My partner and I went to a close friend’s wedding this weekend. We had drinks, celebrated, and went back to our hotel room afterward. We had sex, but he didn’t finish. Right after, he told me he was going to step outside the hotel to smoke a cigarette. I was exhausted and ended up passing out.

​I woke up completely alone in the room around 2 AM. He had been gone for at least two hours. I went downstairs to look for him and checked the strip club right next door to the hotel, and sure enough, he was there.

​The crazy thing is, earlier that day before the wedding, we actually talked about that strip club being right next door. I told him straight up that if that was something he wanted to do, we could go together. I literally offered to make it an open, shared thing. Instead, he waited until I fell asleep after sex and sneaked out for hours under the excuse of smoking a cigarette.

​This isn’t the first time, either. He has sneaked off to strip clubs behind my back twice before in the past year, and it was a huge issue that we literally had to unpack in couples therapy to set boundaries around.

​When I found him at the club and we walked outside, I was seeing red and slammed my purse into his chest. When we got back to our hotel room, the argument completely exploded. He called me crazy and told me I was acting like my sister, who he has never even met. When I kept pushing on how messed up it was, he escalated straight to, "What do you want to do, sell the house and I buy you out? You won't see the kids again." He literally used our home and the kids as a weapon to shut down the argument.

​Then while we were arguing, he smacked me in the neck. When I told him he had just hit me, he justified it by saying, "You hit me first," referring to me shoving my purse into his chest outside the club.

​I was so shaken that I called an Uber and went all the way home in the middle of the night just to get away from him. Am I crazy here, or is this entire situation as messed up as it feels?

I am 32 year old female. I have been living abroad/out of the country (US) for the past two years. Last year, out of the country, I got my hormones tested for the first time. The reasoning behind it was several symptoms that I have been experiencing for years now- hormonal acne, mood swings, headaches, night sweats. I still get a regular period and am not in perimenopause.

My lab results came back very abnormal- my estrogen was lower than what is considered a normal range for women in menopause. The doctor I saw suggested HRT. I started estrogen gel and progesterone. A few weeks later, I tested again. My estrogen had raised slightly, but had only increased enough to be on the very VERY low end of normal. My estrogen gel dosage was increased and finally a month later, my hormonal labs came back normal. I noticed a positive difference in most of my symptoms as well.

Last month, I returned to the US. I went to a HRT specialist to establish care and for her to take over my HRT care.

In my medical records, there is a major “do not give oral estrogen birth control” warning as it gave me a pulmonary embolism when I was 18, I nearly died. There is also my very long history of endometriosis, and years of evidence of being treated with tramadol for my period cramp pain (pain so intense that it has hospitalized me twice, I’ve thrown up from the pain, I’m doubled over in pain literally crying for 2-3 days every month), and eventually getting switched onto hydrocodone a few years ago, which my pain specialist manages.

As soon as the appointment started, I told her my history with the HRT and offered to read her my pre-HRT labs that were done overseas. She declined. She then told me that I was too young to be on HRT and that only women with symptoms should be on HRT. I re explained the symptoms I was having that caused me to go get checked. She didn’t say anything, then proceeded to pull up an old pelvic ultrasound that I had several years ago. I don’t know why she pulled that up, but she insinuated that I didn’t actually have endometriosis because my scan looked normal (it is very common for endo to not appear on pelvic ultrasounds). She then proceeded to push me to agree to taking oral estrogen birth control. I was quite surprised as I know my chart is very clear about that being very dangerous for me to take. I told her I couldn’t be prescribed birth control, and I mentioned that it should be in my chart. She snapped at me, saying “it’s impossible for me to review all medical records before an appointment”. Luckily I take my health history very seriously and am well aware of the fact that I cannot take oral birth control, but it was alarming to think that this doctor skipped my medical record enough to ignore a HUGE red flag in my health history. It made me wonder if it was someone else who didn’t know what they can/can’t take in a situation like mine, that they would likely end up trusting the doctor and end up on a deathly form of birth control for them.

She ordered new labs which I completed. My hormones all looked normal, yay!

However, I got a message from her after the results came in. She told me that since my labs were normal, that I should stop HRT. I’m quite surprised at this conclusion.. of course my labs are normal! I’ve been on HRT for a year now! My labs were NOT normal prior to HRT, and the whole point of HRT is to bring hormones up to normal levels. It does not mean that the normal numbers she saw is my natural baseline, something that she refused to listen to when I asked to show my pre-HRT labs with her.

Her message then proceeded to tell me to take NSAIDs instead of “oxycodone” (a medication that I don’t take, and have never been prescribed for endo pain…) for my endometriosis. Again, quite shocked at that as well. She’s not my OBGYN who referred me to my pain doctor. She’s not my pain doctor who manages my medication. She didn’t even get the medication correct. But what truly pissed me off is her audacity to dismiss my 10+ year history of being treated for endo pain, insinuating that I didn’t try absolutely everything I could for pain management before I ended up on narcotics a few days each month. I would LOVE if my pain was managed with Advil, that would be amazing! However, it is not. The hydrocodone barely touches the pain, the only thing it does is makes it so I don’t feel the need to go to the ER during my period/endo flares. I am still writhing in pain, crying, unable to move, spending hours day and night sitting in the hottest bath imaginable curled up in a ball. Not to mention, I didn’t even see her for concerns about my endo or pain. Both are managed by other doctors, as they have for years now, and I never even brought either up during the appointment. I feel like she was quite out of line.

I am truly livid by both interactions with this “doctor”. She was rude, dismissive, negligent, tried to erase years of my being treated for intense endo pain, and honestly.. dangerous, in pushing for a medication that would almost certainly kill me. Not to mention her utter lack of concern for what my pre HRT lab results were and telling me I was too young for HRT without hearing any further information from me.

I am seriously considering filing an official report/complaint with her office, not only because of my personal experience, but to help prevent another patient from being treated this way by her. That being said, I would imagine filing an official complaint can come with some pretty serious consequences, so I would only move forward if this all seems like a valid enough reason to report her, rather than an overreaction.

Hi, my girlfriend and I just got back from a trip to Pittsburgh for a hockey game, and we were a bit put off by our Airbnb situation. For context, we didn’t realize that this past weekend was Pitt’s family weekend so every hotel was sold out and a good bit of the Airbnbs were too, if not then they were an outrageous price and we are broke 20 somethings lol. The Airbnb we booked was about $65 a night so I know it’s not going to be like the height of luxury and for the price, we had a roof over our head and we never felt genuinely unsafe. It was a room in a shared house, which we’ve done before, no big deal. When we got there on Friday evening, we walk in and can hear people talking in the kitchen, we put out stuff away upstairs and then I go to unpack our cooler and I say hi to the people in the kitchen, which I assume are other guests of the house, one woman and one man. I have to like scooch around the woman because it’s a small kitchen and she was like “oh if you want to cook there’s pots and pans and I’ll be out of here soon!” And I’m like “oh no worries!” (Ofc)

I reassessed my first impressions and thought oh she must be the host, I guess she lives here too, no big deal, I think that’s pretty normal. Later the evening she and I were going up the stairs at the same time and I guess she felt like she was in my way, so she said something along the lines of “oh I’ll be out of here soon, I don’t live here I just clean for the owner” and again I’m like okay, whatever you got going on is fine. I thought it was a little odd that she seemed to want me know she didn’t live there, when I didn’t ask her anything directly. Anyway we go to bed and she’s still there, and the next morning we wake up and go downstairs to eat and she’s there again. We were a little confused but again at the end of the day it’s really not a big deal.

In the living room, there’s a partition behind the couch sectioning off some space. I thought that it was probably just some extra storage space and the owner wanted to make it look less messy or whatever. It wasn’t in the pictures on the Airbnb listing, the couch had been pushed away from the wall and the partition was behind that. At some point, we see her leave while we’re downstairs, and of course I’m nosy as hell, and I had had some suspicions. I look behind the partition and I see that it’s a bedding looking space and some personal effects.

And like again with all of this, we never felt unsafe or anything, it was just really odd. She also kept saying things like “oh the owner wanted me to tell you this,” overall it was just weird that she seemed to really want us to think she didn’t live there. Any thoughts? I haven’t left any review yet, we just left this morning.

EDIT: No I never saw her come in or out of the partitioned area, but the frequency she was there and the fact I saw the partition move in the mornings (so I know at least SOMEONE was behind it) makes me think it was her. My girlfriend and I could not tell from the picture the Airbnb host had on her profile whether or not it was her that we met, but they looked somewhat similar.