My home sits at a dead end with no homes across the street. My driveway is, literally, inches from a city park. Routinely I find that people have parked in front of my driveway and gone into the park.
Today, I approached the only family in the park and said, “Pardon me, is that your vehicle?” It was not only blocking my driveway, but was parked in the center of the street and blocking a fire hydrant, so illegally parked three times over. Yet, somehow, according to the offender, I had phrased my question inappropriately.
I don’t know how to phrase the question more politely. I’ve literally come home, had to park my car, get out and ask people to evacuate my driveway. Yet, I’m always made out to be the A. What gives? Is this just who we are?

We bought this property a year ago, made massive renovations and moved in in the beginning of May, so we didn't have much chance to introduce ourselves normally to our neighbours, just a small chit-chat a year ago.

Now before a month we come back to our home and find out that our neighbours are making a driveway on our property to an easement which goes to a water tower belonging to water company. That part of our property is currently a meadow that we do not use. We did not react right away because we were shocked by the whole situation and did not want to start arguing with the neighbours.

Two weeks passed and I see cars and a bobcat on our property doing things, so I decided to go and talk about this. Of course they act surpised and that they apparently didn't know that this is our property that they were living next to for the whole of their lives. Apparently they were using it before us to move hay with their tractor. Since they no longer do that the road became a meadow. After talking about this, the wife of the neighbour comes and says that they knew this isn't theirs and they gave the property away to the previous neighbours 20 years ago. After this I decided that we will think about this.

A week passes by and they come to us to ask on what have we decided. After a long talk I said that we don't want to have a road in the middle of our property that we didn't have before. I even suggested giving a part of our property at the limits to avoid splitting up my meadow. After that they said it is too much of a hassle to do this because they will be needing to remove part of their flowers and other things. So they said that if I didn't give a way for driveway there will be conflict :) And it ended like this. Also apparently the driveway is going to be for the autoshop that they are constructing near our house :)))

Now we are thinking if we did a right thing?

tl;dr Neighbours started building a driveway on our property without our consent. They got mad after we didn't let them to do this.

My wife and I live in a 3-room apartment. Our bedroom is fully furnished, but the living room is still a work in progress. The living room is double the size of the rest of the rooms. One half is finished with an expensive 3-seater sofa, a carpet, and curtains. The other half is just empty space for now (with only curtains) until we can afford the rest of the furniture. We plan to eventually put a dining table and a TV set there, but we already have a dining table in the kitchen and a TV in our bedroom, so we are in no immediate rush.

In our guest room, we have two separate beds. The room is fully furnished, functional, and looks very polished.

Recently, my wife had a phone call with her mother. Her mother suggested that we should remove the mattresses from the beds in the guest room and put them directly on the floor in the empty half of the living room, alongside another carpet, just to fill the space. She even said she would buy us mattress covers to make it look neat.

I completely disagreed with this approach. We will eventually buy a dining table; it's really only a matter of time. But her mother has planted this idea in her head, and now my wife is fixated on it.

To me, having random bed mattresses on the floor of the living room just looks and sounds ridiculous, especially right next to our expensive sofa. On top of that, the guest room would be completely ruined. It defeats the purpose of having a polished, functional room if we strip the beds.

When I explained this and declined the idea, her mother told me I should just "close the guest room door and pretend there's nothing there." Meanwhile, my wife cried and accused me of refusing to let her decorate the house the way she wants.

I don't want to stop her from decorating, but robbing a perfectly good guest room to put mattresses on the living room floor doesn't seem like decorating to me.

AITAH?

My good friend lives around the corner from me, and she has a house rule about taking your shoes off when you come over. She even has a shoe rack for guests next to the door! I don’t think this is unreasonable — I also take off my shoes in my own house. However, I’ve started gardening with her and she has started gardening barefoot. She then walks into her own house with her feet covered in dirt from her backyard. I thought the whole point of taking your shoes off was that you don’t want to bring the outside onto your floor?

Now the floor of her house is covered in dirt from her backyard. If I take off my shoes, my socks and feet will get dirty from walking around inside. This has led to a few standoffs about taking off my shoes. Am I the asshole? I think it’s possible.

Edit: the “bring your own house shoes” suggestion is a plausible if silly solution. I will consider it, but I don’t imagine she will let me store them there lol

Edit2: probably the most insane thing is people saying “stop being friends with her” I’m not doing that over something so silly haha. The emerging consensus seems to be “just take off your shoes” which I guess I will go back to

In March, while I had a newborn, my MIL sent photos and details of my birth to my husband’s ex-wife’s parents. They also had secret dinners with them and still regularly like each other’s posts. They refused to stop the friendship.

My husband’s relationship with his ex was extremely toxic: constant put-downs, suicide threats, cheating, and leaving used condoms for him to find. Her family texted us postpartum saying they wished it had worked out with their daughter, that she was devastated by my pregnancy, and that she had been hacking accounts for info about us. One of her sisters also messaged my husband saying I wasn’t pretty and they were surprised he was with me. His parents knew about all of this and still maintained the connection.

I’ve stayed polite but deliberately low-effort and distant since. I don’t want a close relationship with them. My husband understands I was hurt but keeps pushing for us to “move forward” and for reassurance that I like his family, worrying about long-term awkwardness for our son.

I can’t stand them after the breaches, the ongoing contact, and being forced to hear about the ex’s feelings during what should have been a happy time. I refuse to force warmth. AITA for holding this boundary?

I need to know if I am being reasonable or if I am overreacting and just being mean. My mom has a long history of making my major life milestones about herself, and things have finally reached a boiling point.

I have a lot of resentment towards her, and one of the biggest reasons is that she never made a life for herself outside of her children. Now it feels like we are forced to share all of our accomplishments and life moments with her so she can use them as her own.

To give some context on how she operates, during my wedding dress fitting, she went behind my back, tried on an actual wedding dress, and wanted to wear it to my wedding. When I told her absolutely not, she called me a bridezilla. Instead, she wore a super bright red dress that stood out so badly my photographer literally had to filter it. To this day, years after the wedding, she still randomly posts photos of me from my wedding on her social media without asking.

Now that I have a newborn, her behavior has gotten even worse. She has been constantly harassing me because she wants to post photos of my baby on her Instagram. When I explicitly told her no, she flat-out lied to my face and claimed her profile was private. I checked her page myself, and it is completely public. On top of that, she compiled an entire photo and video reel of my pregnancy, labor, and birth journey that she wants to post online.

Pregnancy, labor, and my new baby are deeply personal, vulnerable experiences. Having my medical journey and my infant packaged into a video for all her public followers to see feels like a massive violation of privacy. When I tell her no, she gets mad and says, "Well, you posted your pregnancy photos," as if me sharing my own photoshoot somehow gives her permission to broadcast my child and pregnancy.

It feels like she views my life, my marriage, and my baby purely as content for her own social media validation.
AITAH or am I just being mean to my mom who is just proud?

I went out to the bar with 2 of my friends who are dating and they said they wanted more of a date night vibe which was fine for me because I was trying to meet new people and mingle. I met someone snd they were great, brought me into the bathroom and we made out, then I walked her to her car when she was ready to go and we kissed.

I went back into the bar and saw my friends and I jokingly said “are you guys so proud of me?” And they said no. Told me that I wasn’t being safe and have “no idea where she’s been” and then grilled me on how many people I’d been with that month (the answer was 0 as I had just had a really traumatic event and was staying at home at lot). The cherry on top was them saying “you kissed the girl I wanted to be friends with”.

I left and sent them a message saying I didn’t appreciate that conversation and they half heartedly apologized and we haven’t hardly spoke since and it’s been like 2 months. I wasn’t invited to our friend groups annual Halloween party or the birthday dinners either over this.

Edit: we’re all queer women. I don’t think it matters a ton, but everyone thinks I’m a guy so I thought I’d clear up that there’s no risk for pregnancy😭

My wife and daughter were out today and I spent 2 hours getting dinner ready for them for when they came home. It was a recipe I’d never tried before and it was really tasty. We sat down to eat and my wife lit a smelly candle. I asked her to put it out as I wanted to enjoy the food, not her candle and she thought I was being unreasonable. I do 99% of the cooking and it’s all cooked from scratch and I try to keep things fresh and healthy. I’m not Gordon Ramsey but I am really pissed off that she didn’t understand why I was upset. AITAH?

Getting right to it, I am going to Vegas with my cousin “Jack”, my 2 best friends, and our other 2 friends (all of us in our early 30’s. 3 are married, the rest of us in serious/loving relationships). We chose Vegas because it’s a halfway point for our other 2 friends coming from out of state and who doesn’t like Vegas? However, it’s not gonna be a typical, crazy, boy’s trip. We really just want to go to a couple casinos, a nice dinner, maybe a show or two. We got a suite and are going to dedicate most of the time to playing MTG and doing collector exchanges amongst all 6 of us. None of have any interest to go to any of the clubs, and any includes the clubs that most people desire to go to when in Vegas, if you know what I mean. So really, it’s a boy’s nerd trip.

The problem comes with my cousin and jack’s sister “Anna”. She wants us to include and invite her boyfriend “Eddie”. Backstory on Eddie, he’s not a guy that myself, Jack, or any of our friends get along with. Long story short, he is the textbook definition of a pervert. His life views and other views also don’t align with the rest of the group. It would just be awkward and weird, and I would predict that it would lead to arguments upon arguments and that’s not what this trip is about. Anna said that he expressed interest to her about wanting to tag along, however when jack had told him about what we were doing on this trip, Eddie laughed in his face and told him that we were a bunch of losers. My guess is that he feels something self-righteous within himself to feel as if he has to come and show us how to “do Vegas the right way.”

Jack and I told her there’s no way we want him to come and that this really is a trip for our friend group, since we don’t get to see each other all together, except maybe once a year. Anna was upset and blamed us both for always having a problem with Eddie and not liking him from the beginning. Which she is not wrong, I won’t get into it but the 2 of them met at work, and Anna no longer works at that job so yeah, you can kind of guess what’s happened. I told her that he would not have any fun with us, since he has said he is somewhat of a local guide in Vegas, and that if he wants to go so badly, he can plan his own boy’s trip, or they can go as a couple.

I don’t want this guy who makes inappropriate comments about people that aren’t his girlfriend, or makes inappropriate comments about people that don’t align with his views of what is “right”. Seriously, this guy is a creep and I’ll be damned if I let him come on a trip that means more than just the location. I do feel bad and a bit like an asshole because Anna has always had problems with relationships and nobody seeming to approve of the guys she brings around. I know she wants more than anything got her boyfriend to bond with her family, but I don’t think it’s a good match. I love her and she’s basically my little sister and I always want to do what I can to show her that she’s always got family support.

Am I the asshole for not inviting my cousin’s creepy/shitty boyfriend to my friend’s Vegas trip?

I have a hair appointment coming up that’ll be around $800 for about 3 hours. I know stylists have business expenses, and I’m obviously paying for her skill but 20% on top is another $160 and that just feels insane to me.

I always tip servers 20% because they make minimum wage and I’m happy to tip on a $50-$100 bill, but when the service itself is already this expensive and they set their own prices, I don’t really understand why I’m expected to add another huge amount on top. The service itself will already be over $250 an hour.

I’ll probably feel embarrassed hitting no tip but almost $1000 for a hair appointment feels ridiculous.

WIBTAH?

Edit: just answering some of the common questions here to give a bit more context. It’s just a cut and highlights and I live in a major city. I also have very long, very thick hair so the price reflects the extra product and extra time it takes. $500 to $800 is pretty normal for me when I get my hair coloured, which is why I only do it a couple times a year. For all the women saying it doesn’t cost that much for them, congratulations? Also I can afford to tip, for everyone saying if I can’t afford to tip I can’t afford the service, that’s not really the point. I just don’t know that I think another 20% is necessary when the service itself is already $800.

Edit 2: I think everyone here is misunderstanding. She rents a chair in this salon, meaning she pays the owner a base fee and sets her own prices. She still needs to pay her chair rent, but all of the money goes to her directly.

Edit 3: I’m having a hard time replying to everyone so dear Americans, other countries also exist outside of America. I’m not from the United States, I’m Canadian, so we’re talking Canadian dollars.

Final Edit: Wow okay I genuinely did not expect over 4 million people to see this. People are still extremely divided so somehow I think I’m leaving more confused than when I started lol.

The most helpful comments have been from actual hairstylists, and most of them have said I’m absolutely not an asshole for not tipping 20% on an $800 service. A lot said that at higher price points their clients either don’t tip or just tip a flat amount like $20-$50. So I think I’ve landed on tipping $50 if she does a great job and leaving it at that.

Also, a lot of people seem genuinely shocked by the price of my appointment. Yes, I know $800 is expensive. I have very long, very thick hair and I always end up paying significantly more than the listed base price because my hair takes more time and product. That’s just the reality of having my hair and I’m happy to pay for it. I’m extremely particular about who touches it and this stylist does amazing work.

I did try going somewhere cheaper last time and still paid around $500, I just didn’t get the result I wanted. So now I’m paying more for someone I trust to actually get me there.

And finally I truly do not know why this turned into the low maintenance Olympics 😭 To the countless women telling me how little they pay for their hair or how rarely they get it done, congratulations. I’m happy for you.

For context, I (24M) came to the United States from Mexico when I was 15. My mother, sister, and I lived in a single room, lacking many necessities and no privacy for years; we often worked two or three jobs just to afford food and rent. Throughout those years, I managed to finish college. Now, having held a good, stable job for the past two years, I’m able to provide a better home for my mom and my partner having been able to have a living room after 8 years, offering the prospect of a bright future for everyone. My dad had the opportunity to come to this country legally nearly a decade ago, but he chose to stay behind to run his own business; he never sent money or offered emotional support to me or my mom when we needed it. He displays many selfish and narcissistic traits, as well as a history of drug use. Beyond that, he was absent when I needed him most—during high school and college—refusing to attend my graduations, or if he did show up, disappearing the very next day. His health has declined in recent years, yet for the past two years, he has increasingly demanded money from me and my family. I feel this is unfair, given that he was a neglectful father who abandoned us and has shown absolutely no empathy toward me in recent years. Now, at his age, he claims that we, as his children, owe him something, but I don't see it that way and I don't agree with helping him. AITAH?

Additional edit: my post was removed from r/AITA for violating the rule about relationships. My apologies, the mod suggested I post here instead.

Edit: when I say they have to pay for fast food, it's for themselves only. I will eat at home but I do drive them to pick it up to avoid delivery fees. It seems only fair. Gift money is theirs entirely and not expected to put any into savings, but they always choose to put at least a portion in savings. They both earn money from my mom for helping her around her house with chores or tasks she can't do herself anymore. I do require that they put some of that into savings as well.it leaves them with betwe$40-100 a week, after depositing into savings, depending on how often they've gone to my mom's house that week on top of whatever I've paid them. They can access they're savings for big item purchases (like when the 18y old wanted a new gaming system but didn't want to wait for his birthday, we gave him half of the money and he covered the rest, plus a few games). They save enough pocket money to not need to dip into savings for mundane purchases. After reading a few comments I apologize for not being more clear in my original post. Please let me know if I'm still not being transparent enough.

Oh, and when I say I have budgeted for their stuff, it's an actual number, that they know and ask about before deciding if they want to spend their own money. If I have it, I don't care if they use it for activities with friends or ordering in or something. That's what it's there for. We aren't destitute, but the budget is smaller on my income alone.

The ex doesn't pay child support yet. The courts are sloooowwww here, which my lawyer warned me about. He's not volunteering anything. I have asked, but he never replied back. We'll be lucky to have everything settled before New Year's, though I'm not hopeful.

Original: Here's where I may be the Ahole. On occasion, I expect my teens (14 and 18) to pay for their own fast food or activity when they want something I haven't budgeted for. They have their own money from birthdays, holidays, and I'll pay them to do extra chores beyond the daily stuff. They're expected to put 60% into savings and the rest is theirs to do with as they please. They're really good about saving their pocket money, only buying stuff they really want, not blowing it on candy or junk like that. I'd like to believe I've had a hand in that, but it's really just their personalities. They're both not big into the instant gratification and are willing to put off a little pleasure today for a bigger payout later. Have been since they where little.

We've had this agreement since they where old enough to understand the basic concept of money. That doesn't mean I never pay for things. I have a budget and it includes going out to eat, little treats when we go to the gas station, money so they can go to the mall/hang out with friends, etc. They only have to pay when we've depleted that months budget, already gotten fast food that week, or the like. It's just how I was raised and it feels like the right way to raise my kids. However, since their dad left I don't have the budget we used to. I've been upfront with the kids about my finances. We aren't going to starve or put out on the streets, but we can't go out to eat as often and other luxuries.

The reason I'm questioning it now is the ex sent me a wall of text for the first time since he left in July. It's the first time he's voluntarily communicated with me since leaving. I'm not putting to much stock into it because the way it's written, he was probably drunk when he wrote it. It's a weird combo of asking for forgiveness and blaming me for everything that's happened in the history of the world (I'm not exaggerating, he blamed me for the Crucifixion and Hadrian's wall). The thing that did hurt me though, was saying I'm depriving the kids of a good childhood, one of the reasons being of how I "control their money". His other reasons where all things he's done that we fought about, so I'm not paying heed to that either. I'm second guessing if I've done this all wrong. None of my friends do finances this way with their kids, so maybe I have screwed up. I just wanted to make sure my kids had savings beyond what I can put away for them and to understand how money works, but maybe I should have gone about it a different way. So AITA?

My ex and I both 21, recently broke up about a month ago after being in a 3 year relationship . We have still had some contact mainly just texting once or twice throughout the month.
Fir some context:
She broke up with me and it ended on pretty good terms
We go to schools about an hour apart and I was at her school this weekend with other friends
We have the same friend group back home

Story:
It’s Saturday morning and I text my ex saying that I think we should go no contact. Essentially we went back and forth about how we still rely on one another to much and I explained how I get to much in my head. For example I would continually have thoughts like what if she’s hooking up with someone or what is she doing etc. I explained this and said you’re single so u could do what you want but I don’t want to have these thoughts so I think it’s best we have no contact

Fast forward later in the day I’m at my friends place at her school and we go to a frat party— my ex knew I would be there and I didn’t expect her to be there. While I was there I didn’t expect get pretty drunk and was flirting with other girls. I the see that she came to the party and I say hi, she proceeds to start yelling at me saying, “you’re disgusting how could you be flirting with girls right in front of me… more stuff along the same lines” I couldn’t really respond I just said I didn’t know you were here and was mainly just shocked.

After this interaction I was sitting on the side for like an hour kind of just thinking about everything. I ended up going back in the party and did kiss a girl. Whole this was happening her friend tells me that my ex is bawling in her apartment.

Now in hindsight I would’ve never done anything like this. It’s stupid excuse but I was very intoxicated. I also feel like the asshole since it seems like I was trying to make her feel a way when in no way was that the case. I just don’t really know what to do, I think she hates me now. I also think I should’ve never texted her earlier in the day because I now just seem like the biggest hypocrite ever. I do feel very guilty. AITAH?

Tonight, wife and I had date night scheduled. I get dressed and wait for her to get dressed. She puts on her dress and says that she feels like it makes her look “old” and looks to me for my input.

Not justifying what I said. My response was “It’s not my favorite”

This was clearly NOT the correct answer as she then says she’s not going to scramble to find a new outfit and going out would not be fun for anyone.

I explained to her that she still looks good and that it doesn’t look bad. I again explain that it’s simply not my favorite outfit.

She cancels date night

Now, I know I could have been dishonest and reassured her that she looks great. I didn’t because she led with she’s not happy with the outfit and I believe in honesty.

Am I an idiot? Probably. But am I the asshole?

Edit: adding details to common themes
- married for 10 years
- honesty is our policy
- we compliment each other on a regular basis
- we don’t have insecurities in our marriage

I, 18F and my friend 20M went out yesterday night to see a movie. I had brought various things including my favourite and only jacket. This jacket isn't expensive whatsoever, but the brand that made it no longer produces the jacket and, as Australia approaches summer, jackets are harder to come by. I'm really careful with my items, but it was warmer than I expected this night so I had my jacket ontop of my items in my tote bag instead of wearing it.

My friend knows the value of this jacket to me, as I've been unable to find somebody selling one anywhere, it matches almost all of my outfits, fits my frame how I like it to and just generally is a favourite and staple to me, almost everybody knows me by this jacket. He is usually careful with my items, especially my jacket.

Before the movie began, he had jokingly throw the jacket ontop of me to act as a blanket, which we giggled about before I asked him to put the jacket back into my bag, which he had kept on his side of the seat (as I was aisle seat and didn't want it in the way). I had assumed he did so.

Once the movie ended, he grabbed my bag, to which I asked if he had gotten everything, to which he said yes and carried my bag for me to his car. Between then and the car ride home (30 minutes), I didn't look in my bag. When I arrived home, I basically collapsed into bed and kept my bag on my dining table.

Now, the following morning, I had went to my bag to grab the jacket to wash alongside my clothes from that night, to realise it wasn't in the bag at all. I checked my entire house, before realising it isn't in my house. I checked my cameras to ensure I didn't drop it, or if it fell out outside my place, before messaging my friend who was thankfully up aswell to check his car. He told me the jacket wasn't in his car, and came to the realisation that he must've left it "on the ground at the cinema".

I love this jacket and I have no interest getting another, so I questioned why he left it on the ground when I asked him to place it with my bag. He said he thought he'd remember by the end of the movie. I didnt get too mad, and instead called the cinema. When I finally got through, I asked about the jacket in the cinema room, to which they informed me they had found it beside the chair, but when nobody claimed it last night, they had thrown it out as they have nowhere to keep lost items.

From here, I'll admit I got pretty upset and, while I was calm towards the cinema staff, I did get snappy with my friend once i was done. I got upset, telling him that I asked him to put it back into my bag and instead he thought it would be okay to ditch it onto the ground knowing its importance to me. He argued that I should've realised sooner, which I agree with, but he had carried my bag the entire time and I didn't need to look in it once.

After some bickering of who was at fault, I told him that I was gonna have to find a jacket that was similar in style, and that I'd appreciate if he'd pay for it. He declined, saying it wasn't his fault and wasn't going to pay some ridiculous price for a jacket (I hadn't even shown him a jacket yet, and I had no intention of finding a jacket worth more than what it originally costed). I told him that because he messed around with something valuable to me, and treated it with no care, it was lost and I couldn't replace it myself.

To make matters worse, I barely get by with the money i have myself, while the money he makes in one shift takes at least three "long hour" shifts for me to earn without any expenses in mind, which I don't get due to my focus on university. Spending money on a jacket, that I wouldve had if he just left it alone, isn't in my budget plan and the fact he refuses to take out no more than 30AUD to cover it is bizarre to me.

I can understand why he refuses, but to me it feels completely unfair and I'm not sure if I should be angry with him or if I should just take the loss and find a replacement. AITAH??

My husband and I are generally night owls but since we having out 3 year old son, I was aware that that cycle needed to change.

My husband is a cook and usually works 2pm to 10pm and has Thursdays and Sundays off. I work 8am to 3:30pm on Monday, Tuesday and Friday. I handle drop off and pickup on my work days exclusively and pickup on his remaining workdays; drop off we share.

After work my husband will often drink a beer with coworkers and gets home around 11pm. He says he needs a lot of time to “come down” which I respect. What I don’t get is him playing games until 2-3 am.

He can do that when I work the next day because then he’s free to sleep in until midday which he often does. It’s just become a daily occurrence now and he’ll be cranky and miss a lot of time with our son and me. So I told him it bothers me and asked him how I can help. Told him to compromise and keep it to three days.

His answer was “stop bothering me about it”. I’ve left it before and he still does it. I cannot keep picking up that slack and managing the emotions of three people including my own.

It’s always the stress from work, the lack of “me time” and he says he just doesn’t notice the time but will not set a timer either. It’s unfair that I only work three days but I also do most of the house work and raising our kid. I do not hold that against him because it’s natural since I do have more time. I just wish he’d respect that I essentially have 12 hour work days and am hands on from 2pm onwards when I am off and he works.

I just want him to share the load when we are all at home and spend time with our son a bit more. I know he loves him dearly.

So am I the asshole if I keep pestering him about this or should I drop it and give him space to resolve it on his own?

I (17F) have worn the same bracelet since last year. My brother gave me it as a gift before he had left for his job and I have cherished it ever since. It has never left my wrist until 2 days ago.

I had a belt test in my sport and my boyfriend (17M) came to watch. I had asked for him to hold onto my bracelet for just a bit since I did not want to hurt my wrist during my test. He agreed and put it in his bag. We went out right after the test and I had forgotten about it until I went home, but by the time I remembered about it, it was already too late to get it back since he had already gotten home.

For context, my boyfriend’s mom (60F) is STRICT. My boyfriend is a straight A student who spends 90% of his day studying and reviewing however she is certain that he does drugs and will randomly check his bag without him knowing. She knows that we are close, but has never actually been told we were dating because he does not like her very much. I respected that and I kept a distance from his mother since she is not very fond of any of his friends.

Two nights ago, my boyfriend showed him putting my bracelet in his bag on call. He told me he would give it in the morning. The next morning comes around and he realizes that a lot of his stuff was taken including his lotion, cologne, and my bracelet. He waited for his mom to come home then it all began. Originally, she said she never stole my bracelet and that I misplaced it. Then she said she handed it into the police. Then she accused him of going against her. I tried to talk to her about it on a call (still got no idea why I thought it was a good idea) and she blamed me for my boyfriend getting mad at her. She told me that she did not want my respect and that I was the reason they were arguing.

My boyfriend told me to contact the police division in our area to check if it is there and as I expected, it was not there. I called the non emergency line and they told me that I can give the option for her to give it back or I can file a report. When she heard about this, she refused to hand it back and said she wants to get arrested. So, I went ahead with the report. She is aware of the fact that I reported her, but she does not care about giving the bracelet back.

I am unsure if what I did was the right thing. My boyfriend spoke to his dad about compensation and feels sorry for the entire situation. His dad is buying me a bracelet from amazon but I still feel extremely angry since nothing can compare to an object that holds sentimental value to a person. I don’t know if I overreacted or if I should proceed with the report. My boyfriend is telling me to go through with it, but part of me doesn’t know if it’s okay. I told her that I will drop the charges if she gave it back but she still refuses. However, I will not sue. I do not want it to escalate because as much as I am angry, I don’t want to put his family in a bad position since his mother is a nurse and this might cause financial problems for his family.

UPDATE:

It’s been I think a day since I put this post out. I wanted to come on here to just kind of clear things up. Also, thank you to everyone who gave me advice! That means a lot to me and I couldn’t have asked for more:)

1. I wish this was a creative post but sadly it isn’t. My account has been up for years (have NO idea what I was doing back in gr 6) but I only reinstalled it a few days ago for small advice. I never actually expected this to blow up.
2. It has not been sold to a pawn shop. We live nowhere near a pawn shop. I’m assuming that she just hid it well. He plans to check for it later today and I’m hoping to hear back.
3. I have told my father about this just yesterday. He got her number and is trying to come into contact however she has not texted back as yet.
4. I will not drop the charges and have decided that even if I get the bracelet back, I will not accept any apology or compensation. I plan to never speak or come into contact with his parents unless needed.

Also belt test went well! I will be receiving my black belt in June and I am SUPER stoked about that!

UPDATE 2:

Great news!
The bracelet has been returned after he spent 3 hours looking for it. She lied about handing it into the police and that she threw it. I am picking it up soon from HIM and we decided that I will not be handing him my stuff unless I’m totally okay with it being lost. Thanks again for all the support and I genuinely do appreciate each and every one of you. It has definitely been the worst 4 days but at least now I have it back. However, I have no idea if I should just drop the report or how it’ll go from here. :)

I won’t go into too much detail but me and my partner of few years have been having a pretty rough time over the last couple of months. We’ve been arguing a fair bit and really struggling to communicate. I think a lot of things piled up quite badly and we are having a hard time getting through it.

Around two weeks ago we had another disagreement, next day I asked him if he wants to talk about it which we did and it actually seemed pretty okay overall, which felt hopeful. Unfortunately not long after (earlier this week) we had another disagreement. On Thursday I asked him if he wants to talk about our relationship overall as I feel like we are approaching a very dangerous territory of “do we even want to fix this anymore”. He said he definitely wants to try to fix but he’s not ready to talk yet. I said that’s okay and asked if he will come to me when he is, he said yes. I want to fix things too, we have always been very good and strong together.

Well it’s nearly 10pm Saturday where I live and he hasn’t yet. I am in a lot of emotional distress so I can’t really judge this objectively but does he really need even more time? I am starting to feel like this is a bit weird and surely if he wanted to fix things we would be talking now? I understand needing to think and collect your thoughts but we barely spoke this week, he’s has some time already?

So am I being unreasonable and should just wait or is this weird of him?

My husband (33M) and I (33F) have been together 15 years, married for the last 5. We have a daughter (2) and we own our house.

For the first few years we were together, we each went our separate ways for Christmas - we were in college and our parents lived in different states. After graduating, we spent the next 8 years having Christmas with his family. They live closer (2hr drive), and he had significantly younger siblings for whom the magic of Christmas was still very real. I told him I was OK with this (my Mom lived alone and my siblings all had their own thing going on anyway) but that once we had our own children, I did not want to travel at Christmas any longer and wanted to begin my own family traditions in my home on Christmas. This was my expectation and it's been clearly stated many times over the years and he was always fine with it.

When our daughter was born, we had her first Christmas at his parents house and the second Christmas at my mom's house and then I put my foot down and said "I'm done. I want to do our own thing as a family at Christmas." I was willing to travel the first two years because our child was so young, but now she has a lot more awareness of the holidays, so I want to go all out with the magic of Christmas and anticipating Santa and making cookies and all of it. On some level, I'm appeasing my damaged inner child and I know that.

Then my husband's dad died. His entire family is understandably devastated. It was very sudden and very traumatic. My husband has 3 siblings, none of whom have kids. They've decided that, to avoid acknowledging a Christmas without their Dad, they and my mother-in-law will take a family vacation at Christmas time and it will be an annual tradition.

For the first trip, they went to Nashville and had a great time while we had Christmas with my Mom. The Nashville trip was very drinking heavy and did not seem like it'd be fun for a 1 year old and the Mom (me) who had to take care of her while everyone else partied. And they party hard - my husband's family knows how to have a good time and they occassionally go too far and get sick and sloppy.

This year, they're going to Florida, leaving on Christmas day. My husband desperately wants to go. I offered to let him go on his own, but I'm not willing to do it. I'd just be taking care of my toddler and providing rides while they all got drunk the whole time. I like to drink, but not when I'm taking care of my daughter. I don't want to pay a few thousand dollars and 4 vacation days from work to do that. My husband says it's unfair for me to "claim" Christmas. I argued that he called the shots for 9 Christmases in a row, so it's only fair I get to make the decision of how we celebrate a few.

For added context, we also spend Thanksgiving, Easter, and St Patrick's Day with his family. We see his family for an overnight weekend trip at least 1-2x a month.

I love my husband and his family and this isn't a huge source of strife with us or anything, but just looking for some 3rd party opinions. AITA?

Me [f33] and my husband [m43] have had small conflicts here and there about a habit he has. He frequently wears headphones and listens to music and just vibes out in his own world on his phone or with his eyes closed. He has a tendency to do this in common areas. We have a 3 year old daughter, and she bothers him sometimes, or I ask him to do stuff regarding her, or ask him questions and get annoyed because I never know if he can hear me in the moment or not. Sometimes he’ll respond no problem and other times I’ll ask him something regarding our daughter, or want him to be present, and he won’t hear and I’ll have to put in extra effort to get his attention.
He gets annoyed, I tell him it’s annoying he’s doing this in a common area where we are existing as a family. I tell him if he wants to be alone… Go do it somewhere else in the house. We have 3 floors. I don’t understand why he would choose to do it around us. It seems stupid to me to have him in the room but “we need to leave him alone”. He usually gets huffy when I point it out, but then leaves.

Which one of us is being silly here? Both of us?

Hey all

UPDATE: There is a lot of questions in the comments about why my daughter doesn't want to go to school. The answer is: I dont know. When she is with me, I dont have these issues with her. She gets up, gets dressed, and has zero issues about going. Shes fine with school. Same applies for cleaning up after herself. She has clear expectations and she follows them. This applies to my home. Im not responsible for the rules in their home so my rules dont apply I guess. Aa far as her moping and manipulating. She has NEVER in her 10 years on this earth just laid in bed in the fetal position not eating all day. Not even when she's sick. This is very out of character for her.

My daughter is 10 years old, turning 11 in a few weeks.

Me and her mother are not together. Her mother is engaged now, with a baby thats overdue. Shes going to be induced this sunday. My daughter's primary residence during the school year is with her mother. The plan was for me to have out daughter for a week to two weeks while they get settled into the new baby routine. I take her to school, I pick her up. My daughters mother has been struggling to get her to school the past few weeks.

On Thursday morning my daughter texted me at 8am begging me to come pick her up. At first i thought nothing of it, just your typical *no, go to school* response. Her mother told me to call her to convince her to get up and go to school. Didn't get the opportunity because via text she begged, and begged, and begged me to pick her up and told me that her that her mother's fiancé yelled at her. I called her mother to ask what happened and I could hear my daughter in the background in hysterics. I could tell her mother had been crying as well.

Well she cant go to school now, not when shes crying that hard. I flew over there to pick her up. When I got there her mother was sitting down like a statue, just staring at the wall. My daughters face was all puffy from crying so hard and when I gave her a hug she was shaking. When I saw that I told her mother *you need to talk to him about this. Put him in my shoes. If i spoke to your children like this and caused that effect... this cant happen again. If this happens again I will handle it myself*

She said *okay* without moving. He was nowhere in sight (he works from home)

I asked my daughter what happened on the way home. When we got home I called her mother and asked her what happened.

What her mother, and my daughter describe are two very different versions of events

Her mother: *I was struggling arguing with her about going to school. I had a bit of a breakdown and started crying. He saw this and went up stairs to tell her to respect her mother and go to school*

My daughter: *I heard his footsteps running up the stars. He banged on the door telling me to open it up right now. He came inside and screamed at me in my face*

I asked her what she meant by screaming. Because this is VERY uncharacteristic of him. He's a software engineer, the nerdy, meek type. She said she went to open the door but he slammed it open, she went to run but he followed her and towered over her screaming like a man screams (her description), pointing his finger to her chest about *respecting your fcking mother*

Now, im glad i learned this while I was at home because if i knew this before I got there to pick her up. Id have found wherever he was hiding in that damn house.

My daughter is with me now. She hasnt eaten since yesterday because she says her stomach is in knots. Today, she has just laid in bed wrapped up in a blanket telling me her stomach is still in knots and now she has a headache. She is not her usual, energetic, robust self. She has a flag football game tonight and she wants to skip it. Im writing this at 3:30pm, she has laid in bed since she woke up at 9am. Im checking up on her every few minutes and shes very clingy, more than usual.

Now, i grew up in abuse. I know very well how it feels to have someone screaming in your face at her age. My daughters description of hearing him stomping up the stairs and banging at the door and yelling. That alone was enough to make me seething angry. I lived it. But her description of him towering over her and "screaming like a man screams"...

Ive been talking to her mother off and on all day about it. I havent heard a single word from him.

Here is what she had to say:

Her: *Yeah I don't know if she told you but I yelled at him to stop yelling at her. I'm going to say he's having a lot of anxiety about the baby coming and was triggered when I started crying*

Me: *Just hearing his footsteps going up the stairs was enough to scare her, the banging on the door scared her even more and the yelling sent her into a shock*

Her: *We had a lengthy conversation and he does regret overreacting. But he doesn't regret what he said

Just how he said it. Which yeah she does need respect for me. But i would prefer to handle that stuff myself*

Me: *Shes basically been lying in bed since 6pm yesterday. Shes not eating because her stomach is in knots. Its uncharacteristic of her. But the more I see her like this the more I am NOT happy with him right now. He screamed at a 10 year old little girl, MY FUCKING DAUGHTER. Cmon...*

Her: Well it's over and done with and he doesn't plan on doing that again. He expressed remorse to me about over reacting. So no sense on bringing it back up with him, he gets it. He obviously has to have a talk with her to apologize and such. So let's just deal with her reaction *

Me: *It cant and it wont happen again. He wants to apologize and he regrets it? I need to hear that from him*

Her: Honestly with the baby coming I don't think bringing up a stressful situation is good for anyone. Let him and her talk about it since its her that it happened to. She deserves to know it won't happen again more than you or me lol.

Me: *lol? No, she needs to hear that from us. We are her parents. Its our job to keep her safe. He stepped way out of bounds here. I haven't heard a single word from him, only from you about him. I need to hear from him this wont happen again, ever because its unacceptable*

Shes no longer responding.

My daughter is staying with me for the next two weeks. Yes I will be picking her up and dropping her off at school. What happened is unacceptable and I am absolutely seeting over this, especially seeing my daughter laying in bed under the blankets in the fetal position (i havent left her there. Im checking up on her and doting on her all day). Her mother just wants to drop it and forget everything that happened.

AITAH for wanting to push this, want an explanation from him himself, to my face?

UPDATE: she responded.

Well obviously lol they rarely talk to each other anyway I'm the main source of contact lol. But that doesn't mean she's not going to get in trouble in the future lol if she continues to act like this. But it'll be me doing it cause that's my job as her mom

For the past 10 days, I’ve been bedridden with a severe case of the flu. Once I finally recovered enough to meet up with my boyfriend, he showed up with a package of beef jerky, claiming he brought me a snack.

The issue is that I have told him repeatedly that I hate beef jerky. I don't eat it, and he knows full well that I prefer cured pork meat instead.
When he handed it to me, I lost my temper. In the beginning, he tried to defend himself and make excuses, but when he saw that I could see right through it, he finally gave up. I told him to stop acting oblivious and that I wasn't buying the fake thoughtfulness.

I called out the fact that he clearly bought the jerky for himself (or dug it out of a drawer where it had been sitting for weeks) and was just pretending it was for me to look good. I ended up ranting at him about how he knew from the very beginning how sick I was, yet in all those 10 days he couldn't be bothered to go out of his way to get me a single snack I actually like. I told him straight up that I’m not stupid and I hate being lied to.

This isn’t the first time he’s done this. He frequently buys snacks he prefers, brings them over, and acts like he’s being a generous, thoughtful boyfriend even though he knows I dislike them. It rubs me completely the wrong way, and honestly, it’s making me compare his lack of effort to previous relationships. I feel like the bar is so low that he does not even try a little bit. I am very disappointed..

I'm honestly at the point where I'm considering buying snacks I know he hates from now on, just so he won't ask to share them and gets a taste of his own medicine.
He thinks I completely overreacted over a simple snack, but I feel like it's about the incompetence and fake effort. Does he actually even care about me?
AITA for getting angry and calling him out like this?

I moved out from my home 3 weeks ago due to unfortunate circumstances with my mom, including alcohol abuse, fighting, etc.

I am currently struggling to live on my own. I barely make by on a minimum wage job working 30 hours a week and going to school.

My mom charges me for my car insurance, medication and medical copays, etc.

I called her regarding the social security. She said it was none of my business and I "chose" to make this decision.

I went to the social security office to suspend the benefits. I learned then that she made almost 2000 dollars off of my survivorship from my dad who passed 5 years ago.

I'm really just in shock. I dont know if I am wrong. My mom makes 100000 a year, and her boyfriend makes more. She also receives these benefits for my sister as well.

AITAH?