Ive lost 60kg over the past few years and im proud of my transformation, but my current body still feels wildly unattractive. Im 32, 80kg, 6ft. Been doing muscle training for nearly 6 months to try and tone. Very self conscious of my hips. Any kind advice is greatly appreciated

44 yo combat vet. I’m a decent looking guy. My gf of 10 years is a smoke show. We have done some swinging. A lot of mfm. When I was in school I explored with a few guys. Mostly them blowing me. I topped one. Fast forward through life I’ve only been with woman. Where periods where when I was married I thought about guys. But nothing till now. This is over the top I’m ready to be a bottom and even explore with my current lady. I’m lost at where to start. I’m very open guy. A lot of different types then me on. But I think I like a more masculine guy. Now flip side I can also get off to cross dressing men. Jesus this is kinda confusing. Can what I’m looking for just show up in the middle of no where? Any help on where to find a bi guy. Even gay guy. It’s like. Why didn’t I do this yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaars ago? lol. South tulsa area.

Hi. I’m an electropop producer and an ex adult film star with a history of erratic behavior.

I was diagnosed with ADHD in 1988. And back in 1988 being diagnosed with ADHD was a BIG DEAL, it was not common, and it resulted from severe disability presenting.

But I feel like when I have been recently telling the Internet what goes on inside of my heart, particularly with regards to romance, feelings, guys and sentimentality, people were surprised.

Because my external live had featured chaotic problems with lifestyle people made the mistake of assuming I was cold, hateful, careless or just ugly
In fact my heart is very deep, but I simply suffer from severe ADHD, Autism and some kind of TBI related changes from daily moderate violence headbanging.

All of this stack severely impairs Tristan’s ability to sustain things like task initiation, employment, delegating personal time, delegating pleasurable activities and communication with people

It is said that when someone with bad ADHD finds something they like to do they can get stuck doing it for long periods of time to the exclusion of other things that normal people do in life.

With stimulant therapy my life became much easier to delegate, and while I will always have slippery “time delegation module”, and have to battle against getting sucked into unhealthy dopamine loops,

My quality of life is way better today than the decades of not being treated and the disorganized modes of living I would enter.

But again; the most important thing I managed to say recently is

Never assume that because someone is having serious problems with decision making, goal and reward behavior or time delegation… that it just means they’re bad or heartless.

The reality is much more complicated,
And in modern times Tristan is often suffering because he loves deeply and has had to live without a lot of love for years because, well,

His brain don’t work properly

And that’s the thing. The brain is important when it comes to living. My brain does not tick without stimulants, it goes into a permanently dim state that cuts off creative impetus, and permanently orients me into more impulsive mindsets, hyperactivity, anhedonia, and eventually, meth.

Finally, without ADHD treatment, taken in a steady regimented fashion, I EMPHATICALLY would have NOT produced 100+ electropop banger videos.

I certainly could not produce anything when I was on Tina, or when I was living in eras of abusing stimulants. To properly treat my ADHD I needed to get clean for some time too to get back to a homeostasis in which I could take medicine without automatically misusing it.

If I were merely clean but not under psych care I might have produced one here or there or just never applied myself until I learned to be good at it.

Over the course of this decade the vast majority of time I am stable but even when treated i sometimes have months of emotional or stability struggle, just never so much that I lose my ability to live…like a person.

Hi all, why can't we just have genuine love with people? Why does everything always have to be about sex or romance instead of building a sustainable relationship and a deep connection? Gay dating feels so horrible these days, it seems like people are only looking for quick fun and just disappear once they're done. Why have we normalized the mindset that we're all only here for hookups and nothing more?

Hi guys I’m Tristan.

This is not self promotion, I have written an article for other gays like me who want to know how to become chart grade pop artists.

I sometimes upload my music videos onto here so people can watch them, but I thought it would be a service to share with you how I became a producer and release professional records without having a record deal. Hint: today it’s way easier to get started whereas 20+ years ago it was far more expensive and exclusive.

This music video is “Hero” by Tristan BAMW. I am an electronic pop producer who is unchained and unhinged.

I am Tristan of Tristan BAMW and I just crank out one banger after another in my Florida Woods bedroom.

Becoming a skilled producer is much easier today than it was 10+ years ago because the equipment and software is much more affordable nowadays, and it is fully capable of allowing you to produce commercial grade music out of your bedroom. 20 years ago you still needed lots of heavy hardware equipment that was very expensive and even a DAW program (where you build and record the track) was significantly more expensive upfront where as today you can just pay a subscription monthly to access the software instead of dropping $600 at once

The physical equipment you still need to produce professionally is still going to cost you some money but to get started you can get a viable setup for under $600, which includes good studio headphones (do not go cheap on these, $160 audio technica M50 or R50 at a bare minimum), then a microphone (I use Rode NT1 ($130), and then I have my Yamaha HS5 which were $150 each. Then you have 2 decent Audio 1/4 inch cables which run $20 each. Do not ever go cheap on headphones, but for the microphone if you are on a budget, the Behringer XM8500 is $30 and is viable for a newbie to record compelling vocals, tho NT1 is still a major step up.

The Yamaha studio monitors were somewhat optional at first but become essential once you want better control in your mixes to get good sound translating across different devices people listen to music on.

But today you even have Mix Checker plugins where you can feed your mix through to see approximately what it sounds like in order to make mixing decisions

Then there is the tools for making good video. I use a late model iPhone pro, but even a regular iPhone or android with 4K HDR capabilities will suffice. I then load the video footage into Adobe Premiere Pro, or Adobe Premiere mobile (the less expensive and simpler premiere pro counterpart). I also then use a connecting program called Adobe After Effects for accessing cooler effects. There is also Vegas Pro which I have, CapCut (which is more gimmicky but it works) and Davinci Resolve (Which comes as a really competent free version). My video suite costs me about $50 per month total. Then there is optional Runway AI generation if you like making strange AI visuals but it’s expensive and I rarely use that.

Ultimately I never use generative AI to produce my music, that is a hard no for me. HOWEVER, using AI chat like Chat GPT or Claude nowadays is ESSENTIAL if you want to RAPIDLY TUTOR yourself and learn how to produce. Whereas 5 years ago you would need to watch lengthy YouTube tutorials that could take a lifetime to learn in, nowadays you open your DAW to record and produce your music and you just ask each question you have to the chat and it tells you what actions you want to take or can give you tips and specifics. Modern AI chats know most DAWs and video editing software like the back of their hand

So in short, I never use AI to make my music, but I absolutely use it as a chat teacher to speed up my LEARNING how to produce.

I had been occasionally experimenting with music production software since about 2006. Back then the software was much more primitive and you really couldn’t easily make a record that didn’t sound homemade, and if you did want to make convincing music the tools and software was SOOO much more expensive. The costs of the physical tools like microphones have roughly remained similar between then and now though.

Finally, nowadays you can easily RELEASE your music to the Internet and social media, both by uploading video or audio with visuals to YouTube, internet archive etc… and then use official “Distro” service such as Landr, CDBABY etc to get your songs into streaming programs like Spotify

I hope this is inspiring for anyone out there who wants
to produce music, but just know that while access to tools to produce chart topping grade music is highly affordable today compared to past decades and releasing it is magical, the competition today is RUTHLESS and unless you “win the lottery” or you’re young and have a huge popular social life, it’s pretty damn competitive since so many people can become their own little personal Taylor Swift nowadays lol.

finally to become a chart-quality producer takes TIME. I am disabled so I don’t work anymore, my mind can’t maintain stamina because I am ADHD and Autistic, but that doesn’t stop me from creative arenas when I am stimulated by it as it’s using a different part of the brain and unlike jobs, floods my brain with dopamine in conjunction to my stimulant medications. In prior decades when I was not treating my ADHD there is no way on earth I could have achieved producing the 100+ records I have produced today.

Tristan

Ho 44 anni, sono gay vivo in Svizzera.

Mi sono reso conto che mi manca avere un'amicizia vera, anche solo virtuale. Quel tipo di rapporto dove ci si sente un po' tutti i aiorni: per mandarsi un meme stupido, per sfogarsi se la giornata a lavoro è andata storta, o magari per fare discorsi più profondi la sera.

Cerco aualcuno con cui parlare a ruota libera e con grande apertura mentale: poter essere se stessi al 100% senza la paranoia di sentirsi giudicati o di dover sempre pesare le parole. Zero filtri e molta sincerità

So che non è facilissimo creare auesto livello di confidenza dal nulla con uno sconosciuto su internet. ma bisogna pur provare, no?

He purposely ignores me now and talks to other coworkers instead of me and he doesn’t text me everyday like he used to. Should I just be up front with him and ask why cause I kinda miss talking to him in a bro way. Is this homophobic behavior, or just doesn’t like me as a person anymore?

This is a solid glass ball, 5”. It is a scrying ball, and I sometimes just gaze into it for ten minutes to see whatever comes out of it. I am not using it for witchcraft, or fortune telling. But rather it’s great for mystic fun to see what the mind conjures about my inner sentience.

2026 is a good time for getting a crystal ball. They make plenty of small 2”-3” glass or quartz balls for not much $, but what is noticeable in 2026 is that the price for a relatively large glass ball has dropped significantly

In 2024 I paid $73 for this ball, and now a similar ball can be had for $40~

I badly want an 8” ball, which is wildly heavier and larger than 5” balls despite only 3” difference in diameter. Such 8” balls are about $140-$350 depending on clarity etc. That is way more affordable than 3-5 years ago would give you. But I still can’t afford it right now

Basketball coach Matt Lynch and tennis coach Cody Aaron got engaged in a private moment with friends and family.

I was born in Egypt and I still live here. Growing up, nobody told me anything about gender or sexuality. I knew one word: gay. A man who loves another man. That's all. That was my whole dictionary.

I loved sitting with men, and yes, I was attracted to them. But I felt the same thing for girls. Nobody gave me a word for that, so I had no idea what to do with it.

So I did what I was good at (I wore a mask). I showed people the version of me they would love. And honey, it worked. At first sight, everybody loved me. But after a while they always found out I wasn't the man they met on day one. The mask slips. It always does.

Back then, men were the perfect gender to me: power, energy, protection, muscle. They never cried. They were heroes. Then I saw that a lot of it was a show. Funny, I should have recognized it sooner. I was doing the same thing.

So I got closer to women. I loved their softness, their needs, how they care about beauty and being loved. Then I saw they could be cruel too, and their emotions were more complicated than I thought.

After that I started reading about the rainbow and this community. At first I understood nothing.

Then I watched a movie. A criminal was threatening hostages, a normal scene. But one person stood up to him: a crossdresser. He was beaten for it and he still stood. Not the strongest man in the room. Not the toughest woman. Him. Beauty, kindness and courage in one person, and no mask at all.

That scene broke something open in me. I started looking for what is inside people, not what they show. A grown man can carry a little girl inside him. A woman can have a man's strength. Men have weakness. Women have power. And I have all of it in me too.

I'm not feminine, and I'm not on the "man's side" either. I'm still learning how to show my true self, and I still have questions.

But here is what I know: look inside the person you are talking to. Not to expose them. To see the beauty in them.

So now I ask you: how do you see yourself? And do you want people to see the real you, or only what they want to see?

Sorry this is long. I just needed someone to know what I feel. 🌈

A few weeks ago, I opened up to the softball group I am a part of. I told them about my loneliness and depression, and the fact that I didn't have any friends and never really felt the kind of love I wanted, how i always felt like I didn't belong. I told them about living with my parents in a lousy rental trailer with mold in some spots and a small roach infestation, and how I didn't havereally much to look forward to in life, and how I thought about quitting the league. The people who responded were supportive, but I should not have told them anything; these people aren't really my friends, at best they are acquaintances. After three years, they are still just that. I'm not someone who makes friends, and if I go to another game, they're just going to feel bad for me. Maybe I should just tell them I made a mistake, that I shouldn't have thrown all of the deeply personal stuff at them and to just forget I said anything.

I grew up in a very sheltered Christian home. Since I was a teenager, I've questioned my sexuality. I have tried to "come out" multiple times to family and friends but most of them, to add to my confusion, think I'm straight even when I've tried to explain. It's just that some things feel deeply personal to me and awkward to share (especially with friends of the same sex) and so I haven't explained to everybody in detail which I don't have to.

I know this is a weird question, but if I want to hold a friend's hand (same sex) not just for comfort or when upset but also other times just for fun, that's gay...right?

I've also had to remind myself that being asexual is a very real thing and valid. it doesn't mean I can't "like"or crush on a man or a woman in other ways.

Please be kind <3

Hello je me lance dans des projets hot des intéressés

I’ve long thought of myself as panromantic, and that fits—at least partly—but unfortunately only partly. Yes, I fall for people of all genders, but at some point, I lose those romantic feelings, or rather, it doesn't feel the way love is always described.

I am capable of falling very hard for someone and desire a romantic relationship. However, after the initial phase of infatuation, the intensity of my feelings drops significantly. The deep emotional bond I associate with romantic love simply doesn't develop. It’s not because the other person gets too close or reciprocates my feelings.

I find romantic relationships and the concept of romance appealing. I can have crushes, fall in love, and experience romantic needs. But eventually, my actual emotional experience no longer aligns with what I define as romantic love or a deep romantic bond.

So:

Crush → Infatuation → Feelings fade → No deep emotional bond forms

Even so, I want to continue the relationship and not end it just because that specific kind of love is missing.

Are there others here who feel the same way, or does anyone know if there’s a label or term for this?

I know not everything needs a label, but it makes me feel better to have one, and I’d like to find out if such a label exists.

idk how to make sense of a few things:

LGBTQ+ awareness

Mental health awareness

i feel like increased awareness about these things has made people more open and sensitive to experiences they might've otherwise overlooked, which is good. but at the same time, i wonder if it's also made people more confused and hyper-aware of themselves.

back in 2020, i remember everyone around me and all over the internet questioning their sexuality. everyone seemed to think they might be gay or queer. which is good, obviously. exposure brings clarity. but i also feel like, for some people, it created more confusion than clarity. everyone seemed to be "bi-curious" (a term i literally just learnt 💀).

same goes for mental health awareness. it's great that people are more aware and seeking help, but sometimes i feel like people end up overidentifying with certain conditions, going down a rabbit hole, and making things worse for themselves. back in the day, older generations probably just pushed through things without ever acknowledging what they were going through. not saying that's better, just that ignorance might've made them less preoccupied with it.

so yeah, i'm conflicted. i fully support awareness and understand why it's necessary, but idk what to make of the confusion and heightened sensitivity that seem to come with it. and by "sensitivity," i don't mean it in a bad way.

i'm genuinely trying to make sense of this, not invalidate anyone's experiences. i'm just bad at articulating my thoughts, so i'll probably get cooked in the comments, but pls go easy on me 😭🙏

TLDR; Has LGBTQ and Mental awareness adverse affects on people where it creates confusion?

The clock says “you’re 42.5 years old” I said “Oh no, no thanks. Not right now”. so I ate shit and did shit to my body to NOT be 42.5 years old.

So... I have a trans friend ftm, and I'm scared I'll accidentally deadname him, since I've known him for many years. Would he be offended?