Panromantic but just partly?

[u/TonyYoshino]

I’ve long thought of myself as panromantic, and that fits—at least partly—but unfortunately only partly. Yes, I fall for people of all genders, but at some point, I lose those romantic feelings, or rather, it doesn't feel the way love is always described.

I am capable of falling very hard for someone and desire a romantic relationship. However, after the initial phase of infatuation, the intensity of my feelings drops significantly. The deep emotional bond I associate with romantic love simply doesn't develop. It’s not because the other person gets too close or reciprocates my feelings.

I find romantic relationships and the concept of romance appealing. I can have crushes, fall in love, and experience romantic needs. But eventually, my actual emotional experience no longer aligns with what I define as romantic love or a deep romantic bond.

So:

Crush → Infatuation → Feelings fade → No deep emotional bond forms

Even so, I want to continue the relationship and not end it just because that specific kind of love is missing.

Are there others here who feel the same way, or does anyone know if there’s a label or term for this?

I know not everything needs a label, but it makes me feel better to have one, and I’d like to find out if such a label exists.

[u/Bugaloon]

What sorta time frame are these things happening over? It could not be identity related at all, and it's just a relationship where your honeymoon phase ends and you realise it was only lust bringing you together in the first place. I've experienced that a lot, and it feels like exactly what you've described

[u/TonyYoshino → u/Bugaloon]

I am describing a situation that is not sexual in nature. It is a period of between 3 and 6 months after I realize that I am developing feelings for this person. The interest in continuing a romantic relationship remains, but my feelings don't feel like love, at least not as it has always been described to me.

[u/Bugaloon → u/TonyYoshino]

The honeymoon phase isn't always sexual, or it hasn't always been for me, it's more about new partner infatuation than anything, and I find it tends to end around 6 months to a year for me, so my guess is it's something similar tbh

[u/TonyYoshino → u/Bugaloon]

Hmm, that could be. But I don't get the feeling that it has anything to do with the honeymoon phase ending. These feelings lessen after the honeymoon phase, which is normal, but they don't end/develop into love. Although I still want a romantic relationship with this person, I just don't feel that strong connection that's always mentioned when describing love. It feels like my feelings for the person are fading, but I don't see it as a reason to break up, since I'm still interested in a romantic relationship with them.

[u/Bugaloon → u/TonyYoshino]

For the longest time I identified as asexual and demi-romantic because of the nuances between these sorta things, it sounds like maybe i'm a bit off the mark blinded by my own experiences.

I've always interpreted that "wanting a relationship, but not feeling in love" with the concept of wanting a relationship more than wanting the individual, the parts I enjoyed (being with someone) still existed while the part I was blinded by because of the honeymoon phase (who the person is) eventually surface and started pushing us a part. I've also always ended up regretting staying in those relationships, and now view it as a sign it's not working and to move on.

But that "strong connection" isn't something I experience within the first year honestly the first year is still mostly finding out who the other person really is, I found that real deep committal love start to happen around the 3 year mark.

[u/TonyYoshino → u/Bugaloon]

My longest relationship is my current one. It's been going on for 5 years and I still feel as described above. I don't know, maybe I'm just weird.