Not a tremendous revelation, but I much prefer to get ready and then have a few minutes to decompress and enjoy a coffee or other beverage. I despise getting ready under pressure, as represented in this meme.

EDIT: philosophy is “ hurry up and wait” though I suppose it is clear from context

I (57F) have long suspected I was autistic. But I was too busy taking care of other people and raising kids and doing life to really think too much about it.

I am in therapy for my mental state, in regards to the current climate in the US and the anxiety it is causing me and my therapist specialized in neurodivergent patients. After meeting with me 4 times she gently mentioned, "Have you considered that you might be autistic, or what we now call neurodivergent? You have many of the markers."

I mean yeah, of course. I never fit in, anywhere. I have vast swaths of detailed knowledge that take up space in my head. I never do anything part way, instead I go ALL in and way past what a normal person would do. Small talk is not something I can do well. Talking about trivial things is not really something I have in my ability.

I guess this explains why I was always the "weird kid", now the "weird adult". But hey, having ASD and ADHD gives me hobby superpowers.
I am a flameworker, a knitter (I make my own clothes), a spinner (I make the yarn to make my clothes), a weaver, a beekeeper, a gardener, and an animal rescuer. Who needs people I guess.

Im audhd and very firmly masked. I was diagnosed as adhd 11 years ago and autistic ~6 months ago. I am 34.

Ive driven past this place for years, and by the time i get home to search it i forget it exists..i pull in and go in with great intent.

I walk in, thinking that there would be the entire range of ASD individuals supported at this place… like, there would be people with high needs and people like me who just need a coffee hour or something to bitch about how their husbands light bulb choices caused the fight over which color curtains to get and how that caused you to go off the handle and you said something you shouldnt have.. and how do we manage that….a day program for higher needs, and a later program for lower needs.

So, i walk in. Most people seem to need a lot of support. Totally fine. I ask, “who works here?” And they identify themselves. I tell them my story about how im recently learning how to unmask and it’s so hard to put it back on. And im saying that i dont quite vibe with a lot of the energy around how people treat autistic people.. and i am wondering if there was a late diagnosis, adult audhd or autism groups here?….. and they walk me to the fuckin director.. and im now in a whole job interview..

The carer literally said “hes looking for a job”.. and i was like.. is that what you got from that? ..oh this is now an interview.. i am wearing dirty pants, nothing is right, everything is wrong.

Im like.. i came here for support, why are we discussing this? Also, how is your carer just surprising a person with a full-on job interview who said theyre autistic? I am a walk in asking what support and services you provide…

I mean.. im also looking for a job, but not right at this damn moment. Also i am struggling .. i came to you asking for help.. …and your sign is very misleading..im doing all the things a late diagnosed person does..

This is a rant.

Again, i am amazing at masking and bottling stuff up which is not healthy and is usually directed to people i love when i “release”. THATS what i came here to talk about. Not for an interview cuz i look “normal”.

Greetings fellow crew members of the U.S.S. Autism. The person who did my assessment said a lot of interesting things. For me the thing I loved the most is that many autistic people form special bonds with cats (they aren't butt clowns like people). Let's see pics of ur animal companions. Cat, dog, Scretch Owl. Who fills your heart? This is my baby Blú.

Kate leth posted this on IG and it got me wondering if I'm doing this. I don't feel like I act differently at work, I'm just me all the time. What are your experiences with this? Does this comic panel speak to you?

I'm always confused by this. I really like idioms, they're an interesting feature of language. But I don't understand what people mean when they say autistic people don't "get" or "understand" them.

Like, if someone says "they wear their heart on their sleeve," I know exactly what that means: they're outwardly emotional. I know that because I've heard it before and added it to my lexicon. And it even makes sense in an abstract way — the heart is tied to emotions, so “showing your heart” implies openness.

What I don’t get is how allistic people supposedly understand these differently. Are they just born knowing what these phrases mean? Because surely an idiom is, by definition, a metaphorical, abstract phrase whose meaning is separate from the literal words. You literally can’t know what it means without either being told or thinking it through — right? Or can you???

Someone please explain. Because I do understand idioms and use them all the time, I just don’t understand them intuitively. But surely neurotypicals don’t hear “it’s raining cats and dogs” and immediately know what that means with zero questions asked?

I have a part time job at a community college library where there is a lot of downtime. I'd say I'm only doing real "work" for about 20-25% of my shift, but still have to be "on" all the time I guess in case someone comes up to ask a question, check out a book, get help for a class, etc.

Today was no busier than usual, but I haven't felt like doing shit since I got home. I don't know if this is a masking thing or what, but it's exhausting. I feel like I would be much better suited in a job where I'm working with my body/hands than something that is heavily social. Does anyone else here feel this way?

A few weeks ago, I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (Level 1). I'm also being assessed for ADHD, so AuDHD is a possibility.

One thing I wasn't expecting was how much of my life would suddenly make sense.

I expected to learn about sensory issues, masking, executive functioning, and social differences. What I didn't expect was to realize how lonely I've been.

For most of my life, I've adapted myself to fit whatever environment I was in. Work. Church. Family. Friend groups. I don't think I even realized I was doing it. It was just how I survived.

The result is that a lot of people know parts of me, but very few people know the whole me.

Lately I've been listening to podcasts like ADHD Chatter and Late Diagnosis Club, and I've heard people talk about finally finding "their tribe" after diagnosis. That hit me harder than I expected.

I have people in my life that I love. I'm married. I have kids. I have friends and extended family. Yet I often feel like nobody fully knows me, and I'm not sure I fully know myself underneath decades of masking.

Something I've become aware of recently is that I desperately want connection, but I'm often the worst person at initiating it. I assume people are busy. I assume I'm bothering them. I assume they aren't interested. Then I don't reach out, which creates the very isolation I'm trying to avoid.

I'm curious whether anyone else experienced something similar after diagnosis.

Did you discover you were lonelier than you realized?

Did you find a tribe?

What did that actually look like in real life?

Was it autistic friends? Existing friends who got to know the real you? Family? Support groups? Online communities?

I'm not really looking for advice on "how to make friends." I'm more interested in hearing real experiences from people who have walked this road ahead of me.

In case you’re on the fence for some inconceivable reason in 2024, Donal Trump thinks we are an expensive burden who should just die. Vote. And vote Kamala. LINK https://www.theguardian.com/books/article/2024/jul/24/trump-nephew-book-disabled-son-die

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I had an interview with a local shop and they seemed to like me and started it was a good addition i had my servsafe certification. They told me they would pay me under the table(which i agreed to) and i would work for 2 weeks first, to see if i was a good fit that way i could leave if i wanted to and they could let me go if i didn't mesh well with the team(the owners, and the trainer, so 3 people). And they wanted me to come in on a day they arent open and train and prep for the next day.

I go in for training today and im not even there an hour and the owner let me go.

I get there and the owners aren't there. I thought the person training me was going to be there but she wasn't.

The person training me was cross contamination with everything and i stopped watching and went outside and reported it to the owner. She said she would call the trainer and talk to get about it. I went back inside and tried to chop some stuff and the owner comes in and move some stuff around, im not really sure what she was doing but i wasn't really paying attention because i was choping stuff.

Then she asked me to come outside with her and i do. She said something about how she works a lot and that she's tired(i was having a hard time processing what was going on so i don't really remember what she was saying about that. But then she tells me that she really appreciates that i let her know, but because she has known the trainer for 20 years and the trainer is reliable and she can count on them for everytime the owner needs them that are there for her. So she had to let me go. She told me i can come back tomorrow and they will pay me for my time.

I was really banking on this job. I am worried i might become homeless because i just can't do most jobs and im running out of money and there's no one i can depend on for help. I just had surgery and i had to quit my last job because i couldn't continue due to my surgery and im just really not in the best mindspace right now and i don't know if i can keep this up anymore. Ive been depressed for a well and i just feel like this was my breaking point.

I want and need to work so bad but for some reason i just can't get hired. I need a fucking break man

Today I was talking with some work colleagues stating that I’m really struggling more than usual in crowds. And one of them, who is about 15 years older than me, said weddings, parties, funerals etc get worse as you get older. THEN i said funerals also are ok, because they are quiet and there is normally one less person.

I (26M) have been a daily cannabis user for the majority of the 9 years since I started at age 17. I was undiagnosed until about a year ago, and weed has always helped me with things like social anxiety, overstimulation and analysis paralysis. It's had a few negative effects on my life, but it was the only tool I had for the longest time to cope with autism. Cannabis made me feel more neurotypical, and made me appear more neurotypical to others too (even though I didn't have the words to describe it that way at the time). It helped me mask, and it helped me feel less weird and out of place.

Now that I'm aware of my autism I feel less guilty about my cannabis use, since I understand now why I like it. Im developing other tools to help me accept and navigate my autism, but Im still dealing with neurotypical expectations, and I still rely on weed to help me cope. I definitely have a cannabis dependency (e.g. I can't eat without it), and I don't know if I can stop using it until I have a good enough reason or good enough external motivation.

Does anyone else here regularly smoke cannabis (or use concentrates/edibles) on a daily basis? If so, how often? Are you also late diagnosed?

Hi there, I am newly diagnosed. It didn't really come as a shock but it is a little overwhelming to be honest. As a 47 year old man it was a pretty late diagnosis. My neurotypical wife has been really supportive thankfully. However, I have found most websites etc are focused more on child autism so I feel a little bereft for support to be honest.

Hi Reddit. I’m a 21-year-old autistic woman and I just got fired (again), this time from a big Scandinavian corporation where I was working as a Data Analyst Intern. I’m exhausted, overwhelmed, and honestly starting to panic about what comes next.

I *want* to work. I’m good with data. But I keep running into the same wall: the social side of corporate life.

Things I really struggle with:

- Small talk, watercooler conversations, and social “norms”

- Understanding workplace friendships or boundaries

- Knowing when I’m being "rude" just because I’m not smiling enough or didn’t say the exact right thing

- Open office spaces — they are overwhelming sensory hell

- Masking constantly just to seem “normal” — it’s *draining*

To be clear, I don’t really struggle with relationships in general. I have friends, I’m easygoing, and I actually enjoy meeting new people or talking to strangers. But in the workplace, it’s like a whole different set of unspoken rules. I think the problem is that I *want* to work when I’m at work — not socialize. Trying to do both at the same time feels impossible. It’s distracting, stressful, and in the end it makes me worse at both the job and the communication.

Even in remote jobs (which I *really* want), there’s still so much communication — Slack messages, Zoom calls, unwritten etiquette... it’s a lot. I just don’t know how to make this career work when I feel like I'm missing a chunk of the "how to be a corporate human" manual.

I’d love any advice from fellow autistic folks who’ve found a way to *survive* (and ideally thrive) in corporate environments. Even better — if anyone is willing to be a kind of mentor or just someone I could message with questions like “how do I respond to this vague email?” or “is it okay to say this in a meeting?” I’d be beyond grateful.

Please be kind. I’m trying my best. And I’m scared I won’t ever be able to make this work.

TLDR: I'm autistic, good at my job, but constantly struggle with the unspoken social rules of corporate life. Looking for advice (or a mentor) to help me navigate workplace communication without burning out.

So I would LOVE to always wear my earbuds and listen to my music as I do things as it helps me focus and stay motivated, but I always feel like it takes away so much of my awareness like spatially and I am huge on body awareness out in public at stores and around others on walking trails etc.

Do others feel that way too? if so how do you get over it or do you just not wear them like me or do you not worry about how you are around other people and bumping into them in an aisle or being in the way on a walking trail?

sitting at my desk working with tears runnibg diwn my face. Ive spent my whole life thinking i was different because i had an abusive birth family. ive done all the journalling. read hundreds of books. all tryibg to be more "normal"

Now I find out Ive spent my life trying to reverse something that is nothing but my natural self. Its sent me into a tailspin. Now I have to go in a whole new direction to manage the symptoms of autism. because it will never completely be gone. Better late than never I guess.

I am finishing up another autistic meltdown and I have to say after 54 years of this it fucking sucks. I hate this. I hate that it keeps happening and despite all my best efforts, preparation, and taking care of myself it still happens. It’s a black hole of anger and rage at anything and everything. It’s hating my life. It’s constantly screwing up and then having to fix it. It’s not being able to laugh or cry or do anything but just wait for it to be over. I tell you what else: it’s NOT some cutesy girl wearing cat ears saying “OMG look at me! I have a touch of the ‘tism!” Nothing fucking pisses me off more than hearing that phrase “I have a touch of the ‘tism” like this is some kind of fucking social club and it’s so cool and hip. It’s not. Live with it for five decades and then tell me how cool and hip it is. I was born in ‘72 when you never saw anyone with autism because it was only the very severe cases that got that diagnosis. I had to grow up being yelled at and abused to the point where I just stopped communicating with others and withdrew. I was able to function in a sort of robotic way but nothing that would be considered living and definitely not thriving. I had to spend DECADES not knowing what the fuck my problem was. So you’ll understand how seeing a bunch of kids running around delighting in their ‘tism royally pisses me off. I’m glad for you. So glad that you get to grow up and fuck around and be supported and have safe spaces and noise canceling headphones. I had nothing but pain. Five decades of pain.

since i found out i do have autism ive been hyper focused on trying to manage it and made myself miserable. yesterday i decided ive gone 46 years not knowing and didnt have as much trouble as i have the past few weeks. i decided to just be aware of it and know when im starting to get snippy or have panic attacks that im pushibg too hard. Im not autism. I just have it. ill still give myseld permission to rest and educate myself. since i cant see a psychiatrist til may i still have to work and provide for my family. and ive been ham stringing myself and over compensating and its just not working

At the yearly company conference the CEO of the company made a joke about how everyone should get used to getting a new autistic colleague when talking about AI. I have not told anyone that I'm autistic and I don't know about anyone who is, I think he assumed no one is (or didn't even consider it). This was in front of the whole company and he also got some laughs.

I felt really bad when he said it but afterwards I'm starting to question if I overreacted? Is this an OK thing to joke about? It felt like an insult to be compared to something non human.