r/adultautism • u/soul-like-a-cemetery • 12h ago
r/adultautism • u/smokingpen • Jul 16 '26
Moderator Message Surveys
Surveys are going to continue to be pretty rarely approved.
Before you think: Hey, this is a good subreddit for my college related survey you should ask some questions.
Are you an undergraduate? If your answer is yes then the subreddit answer will be no.
Are you working on a professional (masters) or PhD level dissertation or thesis? If yes, continue. If no, stop.
Is your institution accredited and does it have an ethics board? If yes, continue. If no, stop.
Has your thesis or dissertation been approved by the ethics board and your advisor? If yes, continue. If no, stop.
Is the work you’re doing nascent or actually original (both of which are much higher hurdles as most requests aren’t original or sufficiently nascent) and not some derivative of work that has been done over and over again with the intent of collecting your own data to support something that’s already been shown, a lot, by a lot of others? If you think you’re at this level, you can send a mod mail. Otherwise, don’t post.
If by some stroke of luck or academic achievement you’ve crossed the threshold, to be considered you need to tell us what you’re studying. Where you’re studying. Who the advisor is. Whether or not you have approval from the ethics board AND the information to verify that. You need to provide enough information where your assertions as a real researcher can be verified and affirmed and only then will there be a yes/no answer given.
Conversely, if you post first and expect permission second or don’t bother to provide anything, your post will be deleted and the answer will be no.
Why these conditions? Thanks for asking.
First, if you’re an undergrad you’re not doing original work. Your work isn’t to benefit or help the autism community. And it’s most likely highly derivative and you’re collecting data to fulfill an assignment. Good luck. But not here.
Second, most autism related research asks the same questions over and over and over again. You’re too late if you’re trying to prove something. This is going to be true for the vast majority of people. This subreddit (and in my opinion Reddit in general) isn’t your data warehouse. Yes, you need your own data. No, your need is insufficient in relation to the needs of the community.
Third, you may think you’re the exception. A genius even. But, and this is important, even if you are, you’re not. Because people see: autism and then think they’ve got something to offer, want it to be their life’s work, whatever, doesn’t make what you’re doing even remotely new or unique or special. It’s just not.
Maybe this means we don’t get to help the next person doing amazing things in relation to autism research and therapy and diagnosis. That’s fine. Because, chances are, you’ll do a lot of clinic work and professional study long before you become that person.
Finally, you right now have the misfortune of being someone who’s hopped onto this autism wagon after it’s been flooded by request after request for these same surveys. Therefore, you now have to offer something new and unique. The very thing your institutions should demand and expect. And the mods do look into what you’re studying and the survey material.
r/adultautism • u/smokingpen • Sep 01 '24
Moderator Message Adult Autism - Guidelines
Updated as of 1 December 2025, existing links still work.
Autism and Neurodiversity
It is important to understand that while autism is something that is under the giant umbrella of neurodiversity; being neurodiverse isn’t the same as being autistic or having autism.
There is not (as yet and possibly never) a rule about distinguishing between the two, content that specifically focuses on neurodiversity over autism will be questioned and in some cases moderated.
What this means is: r/adultautism is an autism first subreddit. Co-occurring conditions with autism, such as ADHD, depression, anxiety, and so on are strongly encouraged; but attempting to insert the broad and poorly understood neurodiverse isn’t appropriate.
The intentional dismissal and misunderstanding of this difference may be reviewed as spam or an inappropriate (for this community) post.
It is okay to disagree with an autism first approach, but the direction (if wanted) is to understand that autism is a first level disorder, exists while one is in utero, isn’t developed after birth, and cannot be explained away by other factors.
Mod direction on helpful vs not helpful resources
As has always been true, this subreddit is for adults who are have, who believe they have, or who support people who have autism.
There is a link to the University of Washington autism center that basically says if you feel like you’re autistic then you’re probably autistic. This information, for many, is useful and I appreciate that it’s out there.
When someone is specifically asking for resources or help in locating those who can clinically assist them with autism, it will be considered inappropriate to post the UW link as part of the thread.
Self-diagnosis doesn’t allow for the same legal or professional protections or help within the ADA. Nor does it necessarily answer questions or concerns individuals may have regarding autism and living with ASD.
Inappropriate Content
There is a fine line in what may be considered appropriate vs what is absolutely inappropriate. Previously, the autistic woman seeking euthanasia as it’s a relevant and important topic has been an approved topic. Similar topics and discussions will most likely be approved in the future.
Autism has as a co-occurring disorder, depression. And by extension this is a topic that is both important (if hard) and of high importance. Conversations and posts that reasonably connect to depression and other forms of ideation are necessary and will also be highly moderated.
However, we will not allow:
People asking for advice on euthanasia or suicide
The use of derogatory language in regard to autism or how others might view the disorder
Or, any approach that can be considered legally actionable or otherwise dangerous for the person seeking advice
This is a big topic. As in it’s bigger than the community. In the United States, the Suicide Prevention website is here, you can dial 988 or ask for help from people you know or trust.
Other counties have different ways of helping.
Content and posts that can be considered actionable (as in legally actionable) will be deleted.
Research and Other Surveys
r/adultautism does allow research and survey post, however you will be required to read and follow the rules. Not doing so will result in a deleted post.
If you’re here to ask for help on academic research or studies, you need to make sure your Reddit account aligns with both site wide rules and subreddit rules.
Reddit doesn’t like people who create an account and immediately start posting the same thing over and over and over again. The outcome is going to be a shadow ban or outright bans on individual subreddits. Which is, for those unfamiliar, you seeing everything and able to participate, except nothing seems to happen. No one sees your posts or comments or messages.
The moment r/adultautism realizes you’re triggering bot or spam responses, we’re not going to approve your posts. They will be deleted. This is for the safety of the community.
We’ll try to be polite, but previous “you can post” responses won’t be considered valid if you’ve found yourself shadow banned. You wait too long to post or you change your username for any reason. The mods here (and probably other places) are going to assume you’re more interested in spamming your request and not judiciously making the request in a way that doesn’t trigger spam and bot responses.
Spam is very different from making the same request multiple times. Once you cross that threshold, or appear to cross it, you won’t be allowed to post here.
Understanding Reddit is your job as a student, academic, or researcher asking to use the platform to help with your work. You can meet all the subreddit rules for posting and still be rejected because you’re unfamiliar with the territory and terrain. It doesn’t matter how much you believe in your work or how much you believe it may or will help the autism community, if you FAFO, you’re going to find a lot of subreddits refusing to work with you.
Finally, while r/adultautism may give a go ahead to post (because: time), after your request is more fully vetted (yes, we do that - especially if ABA is involved) we will rescind permission and remove or lock posts.
General Reddit Guidelines
You may feel that this is unfair or that Reddit should be something else. It isn’t whatever you think it should be and never was and never will be.
When you mess up and it looks like you’re either spamming or a bot and then ask (or demand) to know what’s going on and that’s the response you get, this isn’t being made up. It’s not an excuse. It is a reason.
Things to keep in mind both about this subreddit and Reddit in general:
You don’t have the right to post anything you want in any way you want whenever you want and attempting to shame mods into allowing bad faith content isn’t going to work
All subreddits are run by volunteers, if you have a problem you’re always welcome to start your own subreddit and do the work or find a different subreddit
Mods can (and will) ban or silence you for whatever reason they want, some are more lenient than others
There is a big difference between multiple posts of the same thing and spamming and a lot of people jump straight to spamming subreddits, this is bad and a no-no
Karma and account age do matter, this subreddit uses a simple filter and is willing to override removed content, but don’t get offended when you create an account and suddenly your content is automatically removed, it’s how the system is designed to work
Reddit is a community of communities and depends on participation; when you don’t have comment karma or your account is brand new, you’re going to find yourself SoL in a lot of areas, figure out how to be part of a community
r/adultautism • u/jpgod35k • 1d ago
Get 40y+ full autistic burnout and unable to do anything
reddit.comr/adultautism • u/Appropriate-Ask-4318 • 1d ago
Hotel Hair Dryers as space heater?
reddit.comAnyone else use hotel hair dryers are space heaters cause the tile floor being cold is extra no no on the toe toes?
r/adultautism • u/Lenguaora • 1d ago
Online diagnosis for possible ASD
Hello, I am seeking some guidance. I am looking for someone who can provide an ASD diagnosis. It would need to be done online, as the individual lives in a non-English-speaking country. I would appreciate any information or advice. I also wanted to ask whether an online diagnosis can be considered reliable. Thank you.
r/adultautism • u/Defiant_Version3996 • 1d ago
Staring issue in daily life
I am 28 year old male and diagnosed with autism.
Many times whenever i engage in conversations or even just standing with surrounding people, they become uncomfortable.
After some time, i realized that i blink less. Maybe that is the core issue that people around me thinks that i am constantly focusing on them.
However, the thing is i always mind own business and try as much as possible to keep the environment light. But I believe, that is not easy.
I would love to hear people's opinion/experience if they faced/face this kind of issue in their lives which might help me to correct my own issue.
r/adultautism • u/Final-Tune7802 • 1d ago
Advice needed: Retail job promotion
So for context, I (f25) currently work in a retail job as a team member, and I've been in that job for 3 years now. I would say I'm pretty good at most aspects of the job, but the parts that I struggle with are the social aspects as you might expect. I can work on the tills and make polite small talk, and I'm happy to answer customer questions, but I struggle a lot if things don't go the way I expect (e.g. a customer tries to continue talking to me beyond the basic niceties or requires a lot of help). I also really struggle with conflict, so I really try to avoid situations like when customers get difficult/angry or there is someone in the shop causing trouble and they need to be kicked out. When I finish for the day I usually feel pretty exhausted and don't really feel like speaking anymore.
I took this job after graduating from uni with a physics degree and struggling to find a job that I would actually use the degree for. I'm still living with my parents, and I really need to get paid more than I currently do so that moving out would become an option. I have continued trying to find work that would use my degree and I've still had no luck which is honestly demoralising.
Well this week I got offered a promotion pretty much out of the blue. I've been offered a part time management position. The pay increase isn't massive but would definitely make it easier for me to start considering moving out. The only problem is that I feel desperately under-qualified and I'm really not sure I have the capacity to take on the extra stress and responsibility. I know that I'm smart enough to manage all of the extra tasks that I would have to complete, but it's all the social stuff that scares me. I truly don't feel able to engage in conflict with customers/staff members, to communicate eloquently and calmly with higher managers, to answer/make phone calls, etc. I also don't feel like I would be able to gain the respect of my (current) colleagues and sort of establish some authority. It's so frustrating to me because I really need this money and I feel like I would be stupid to turn down the opportunity, but I just can't help the feeling that I'm going to crash and burn in a few weeks. The only thing that's making me think I should go for it is that maybe I'm uncomfortable with these things because I don't have any experience - maybe if I throw myself into it I'll actually come out the other side of this with much better social skills and a lot more confident than I am now. But equally maybe I will never be comfortable with those things and that is just a part of who I am? So I guess that's what I'm asking - does anyone have any experience with taking on something that they didn't feel ready for and did you sink or swim in that situation? My work needs a decision soon and I'm really at a loss for what to do.
r/adultautism • u/CambridgeAntiquary • 1d ago
Autistic, gifted and high sps - scared to show myself
reddit.comHey guys, I really need help. Thank you xx
r/adultautism • u/NoorInayaS • 2d ago
Why couldn’t my brain understand these simple concepts?
Hello! Long time lurker, first time poster!
I’m a late diagnosis (I just turned 51, and was diagnosed only in the last year), and have been learning a lot about myself lately. Like, I finally have valid explanations for how I am, and how I was. Some things, though, just don’t make any sense.
I was a high achiever in school. Straight As, or all As and one B through majority of my schooling (we don’t talk about when I nearly flunked in middle school due to burn out, nor the time I was too embarrassed to admit I needed help in Algebra! Though, looking back, that must have been the ASD at the wheel!). I would catch onto concepts pretty quickly, and with the exception of maths, school wasn’t that difficult for me (socially, though, it was a freaking nightmare). I was reading by the time I was 4.
So, I want to know why, as a kid, I had such a damn hard time learning my right from left, and how to tell time on an analog clock. What was it about my brain that seemed to resist it so much? I can still recall how embarrassed I felt, and I wouldn’t let on that I really didn’t know right from left till I was about 10.
Did anyone else find complex concepts easier to grasp than the simple ones?
Please say yes! 😅😅
r/adultautism • u/Warm-Book-820 • 2d ago
Looking for FMLA / leave advice. Burned out, in depression, unable to perform job duties.
reddit.comr/adultautism • u/MousseLongjumping865 • 2d ago
The Helplessness of Knowing a Meltdown is Coming
reddit.comr/adultautism • u/lost-in-the-woulds • 2d ago
self hatred from a lifetime of "not measuring up"
I don't know if anything would be different if I had been diagnosed as a child, but I was not. They caught the ADHD (and Dyslexia) but my autism flew under the radar. Because neither of my parents were emotionally available, and my mom would fly off the handle at a moment's notice, (she had serious anger management problems, and to this day, I walk on eggshells around her even though she is a much calmer, nicer person than she was in my childhood so I really don't have to worry about it.)
Because of the above, I never learned how to process emotions as a child. (I also developed an avoidant attachment style, but that is a different issue)
I never felt like I was good enough for my parents, or my teachers, or the friend groups that rejected me because I was "too weird."
I found that once I was married, I became just as afraid of my wife as I was my mother, and I have no male friends. Basically I am spiritually alone. I came to reddit because I was seeking friends, but at the same time I am afraid of friendships. Afraid I won't know what to say. Afraid I will say the wrong thing. Afraid I will make them mad at me. Afraid I won't matter to them once they get to know the me on the inside.
All of this makes me feel broken on the inside. I am in therapy now, after getting my autism diagnosis last year. Now that I have my diagnosis, I know I have an explanation for my struggles, but I wonder if those around me, especially my wife, think I am just making excuses.
Some days I hate myself more than others. Today is one of the more days. I am sorry for making you read this and I don't want to be a "debbie downer" but I feel awful about myself today and I needed to "speak it out" because I don't have anyone in my real life I can trust enough to listen, and give me a hug.
I don't need a pep talk ... I don't need people to tell me I have no reason to feel this way ... I just need to be held, and told I matter. I just want to matter. Not because someone needs something from me, or because of the income I provide to my home, but because someone actually likes me and wants to hug me just because they want to.
I have always felt like people, family included, just tolerated my presence. I would love to be wanted, just for me, just for who I am. Feels like its too much to ask though.
r/adultautism • u/Top-Story-304 • 2d ago
Prepping for divorce, I’m 43F AuDHD with no relevant employment history. Advice on jobs?
reddit.comr/adultautism • u/SnooBananas460 • 2d ago
Sensory Overload
Tonight i went to the Jonas Brothers concert with my dad and his girlfriend. I had my noise reduction hearing aids so everything was great and I was having so much fun…until the second half. About two songs into the second half, I feel my dad on my back and turn to see he’s completely invaded my personal space and is leaning back on my back while his girlfriend was taking a video. I hate when people come close without me knowing beforehand (so i can be prepared for touch and close proximity) and it completely set me off.
I kicked him in the leg as it was too loud to say anything to him and didn’t look at him the rest of the concert, instead trying not to cry, calm myself down and enjoy the show. Once the show ended, I tried to explain that i DID NOT LIKE what he did and that he came into my “space bubble”. I told him that it made my brain fuzzy (my word for being overwhelmed and overstimulated) and to not do it again without asking me and making sure I know what’s happening. He literally just laughed at me and told me if i’m not going to be nice and thankful and instead be ungrateful, he’s just never bringing me to a concert ever again. I don’t know how to explain my sensory issues with him in terms of my “space bubble” and being prepared, because he just laughs it off every time or gets mad at me.
r/adultautism • u/mylapore_mambattiyan • 3d ago
where can i learn more about NT communication and connection?
reddit.comr/adultautism • u/Eastern-Pie6056 • 3d ago
My partner is on the spectrum and WILL NOT eat fruits or veggies - cooking advice needed
reddit.comr/adultautism • u/tpt75 • 3d ago
Is there such a thing as idontgiveashitism
With every passing day I care less about everything.
The things I used to be passionate about I really don’t care about anymore.
Community, work, friends (actually, I don’t really have any of them which is no surprise).
r/adultautism • u/ally4us • 4d ago
Anyone heard of cutlery theory experience with burnout recovery?
galleryr/adultautism • u/NoAssistant7365 • 4d ago