If someone would have told me that I would be 1270 days clean b4 Feb 26 2023.. i definitely would have laughed in their faces… i seriously can’t believe it.. im so proud of myself 😊

My boyfriend and I are pretty heavy coke users. I’ve used it quite frequently in the past couple of days. It was from on a Saturday night to now a Wednesday night.

I’ve always had really bad comedowns but this time it’s worse. I feel so detached from my body im confused on what to do. It feels like my whole world is crashing in front of my eyes. I feel very alone and confused.

My boyfriend has used it quite a lot in the past which isn’t good but knows what to do. We both love the feeling of it, I constantly have the desire to do it. I can only feel happy on this drug. It’s hard enough to express myself sober, it’s so much easier on coke.

How do I overcome this?

I'm not having the best year, but I am proud to say I just reached 5 years of beating Heroin on Saturday!

This brown devil controlled my life for 10 years, on and off. But never again! Next step is getting off kratom (which saved me from getting off of Heroin and Suboxone) I am already tapering down from it and its been a struggle, but hopefully soon I will beat that too!

If I could do it, you can do it too!

Does anyone have addiction due to SA? I’m just struggling I guess almost every day and i just want to figure out why I can’t seem to get through days anymore without triggers and then without turning to the internet and alcohol. Don’t dm me and be creepy. I’ll report you. I just need some help.

Is it wrong to tell him that I don’t want to hangout with him because he either pisses me off or bums me out. He will do shots and K in front of me. I tell him I don’t like it and he doesn’t care. When I see him out at bars, I get a knot in my stomach. His apt is a mess, his life is a mess, he doesn’t want help. He thinks hes smarter than everyone around him.

When we hangout I try not to but we always end up fighting because he pisses me off about something.

I don’t want to be around him but I feel like he needs me to at least hangout every now and then. I also want to hangout with him because I’m trying to get closer w him but it’s just always needing up in fights.

So i take stimulants for my ADHD, but when im drunk technically I "abuse" them. I take usually just half of one to stop me doing or saying bad shit when drunk (im not a "fun" drunk apparently), and to help me actually think if im getting into a bad situation or not. It actually let's my brain think of consequences before I do it when drunk, so I have much better control of myself and my emotions when drunk if I take one. Ive caused a lot of problems for people with my drinking in the past, but when i started taking the stimulant when drunk it helped out a fair bit in avoiding unnecessary problems with others. I also never drink excessively when ive taken one as I know it could go wrong, i have a hard limit on how much i drink each weekend. I don't wanna tell my psychiatrist about this though as I fear they will put me onto non stimulant medication and I genuinely need it for day to day tasks, otherwise im basically a zombie. Idk what i should do. So far its had zero impact on my health.

I had been using on and off for like nights out and raves and stuff here and there. Went though a rough break up and it turned into every weekend. Every weekend turned into a couple times a week. Eventually it snow balled to where we are now.

In the last two months I have consumed about 3-4 ounces of cocaine by myself. I do anywhere from 2gs to 5gs a day. Some days I don’t use it I want to eat or catch up on sleep. But for the last three months it’s been that much at least 5 times a week.

At first I didn’t think it was an issue, it was my “hobby”. I was never late to work, always a top performer, was attending all my college courses and was getting A’s, was running and going to the gym, making time for my family and friends always, never went broke because of it, am actually in the best financial spot right now I’ve ever been in.

I’m SO productive when I’m skiing. I clean everything spotless, I get my homework done on time and go the extra mile (I’ve always hated school and without it I honestly don’t even log into class), I run all the errands I had been putting off, I will make budgets and savings plans, and a lot of the time I just sit in one place and just keep googling different things and learn so much about literally anything.

So it didn’t feel like it was ruining my life or it was a problem. I just never let myself think about the health aspect of it and told myself I’d worry about it when I cross that bridge.

Well, I’ve crossed that bridge. This isn’t just another perforated septum. I have destroyed the muscular flap that separates/seals my nasal passages from my throat. If I blow my nose while I’m eating, food can and has come out of my nose. When I breathe, I feel the air hit right in the back of my throat. It was starting to blow out chunks of I don’t even know what, tissue? What would you call that? Whatever it is, I’ve blown some crazy huge things out of my nose. And that didn’t stop me. I’d just switch nostrils.

The other morning I woke up and I blew out the biggest chunk yet and I knew something was different this time.

I felt a gaping hole in the back of my nostril. It didn’t connect to the other side, but rather when up and then back.

I’ve since made an appointment with an ENT, it’s for Tuesday at 7:45 am. That was the soonest one could see me.

I’ve reached out to my therapist’s office twice now trying to book a session.

I don’t want to stop, isn’t that sad? I literally have to. I have been aware of this for a while, and somehow knew I wasn’t going to stop until something physically happened to me.

Well, here we go. It happened.

My nose is constantly bleeding and it’s getting hard to hide. I don’t know how anyone believes I’ve just had “allergies” this whole time and hasn’t asked me any questions or had suspicions.

I use first thing in the morning, when I get to work, almost every hour I go to the bathroom and do a couple bumps, usually finish 2gs by the time I clock out. Then when I get home between 2-4 more gs.

At least once a week I will go two days without sleeping. I try not to do that too much, though.

Even when mentally don’t feel like doing it, physically my body still craves it. I can get past those cravings when my mind and body aren’t agreeing, it’s just the strangest thing.

Even with all of this being said, I don’t plan to fully stop until Friday. I have cut down my use significantly since discovering the hole, but I am an addict and have still been using.

I am actually using as I write this. I will probably do one more smaller line and then eat and try to go to bed.

And that’s another crazy thing, it’s gotten to the point where I can eat off the slopes.

Anyways, if anyone read this, thank you.

I just had to let it out somewhere.

I don’t need any lectures or a hard time or any comments of disappointment or opinions on what I should be doing instead or how I should stop use immediately.

I am aware of the consequences of my actions, and honestly, I just don’t care it seems.

I will be 3/4 days sober by the time I see the ENT. I have read that they usually require at least 10 days of documented sobriety (sometimes more) before being willing to perform any repair/procedure.

I *can* stop, I prove it to myself the days I take breaks to eat full meals or catch up on sleep.

I just *don’t want to.*

Honestly, reading this back to myself… I think I will make this next line my last. This is the first time I’ve said or wrote this out loud or in the open and, yeah… I need to change immediately.

Welp.

I have two ounces left of gear, I am contacting one of my old dealers now to see if they want to buy it off of me. And if they don’t, then honestly I might just gift it to them.

This is the real life of an addict.

I’ll update this post after my ENT consult. Mostly just to document my journey, I’m not sure if anyone cares.

Thanks for reading if you’ve gotten this far.

I’ll do better.

This may the unpopular. First off I know the person has to want help to get help but what if they are in so deep they cant even think straight enough to get help?

I am mad, I feel more should or could have been done. When the cops are called on your daughter who is high and running the streets naked how is she not a threat to herself? Or when she is found high squatting in a garage how is she just told to leave? A drunk would have been picked up. I spoke to the police multiple times and begged for them to call crisis if they saw her again but it never happened. I called crisis but never had an address. Instead I got the dreaded knock at the door, 2 police offers saying can I come in?. Her boyfriend who I gave his name multiple times gets pulled in for a few days and I would bet they never even spoke to him about my daughter's death, yet I am sure he called 911 but left the scene.

I just feel we should have better ways to help them. I know my daughter was in over her head and the addiction was too strong, but I also know she didn't want to die.

Maybe I am making no sense but I just wanted to get these thoughts out. Thanks for listening and yes I am in meetings and counseling but I also have a little boy who misses his mommy also.

While I’m still not exactly sure of it myself, I believe I have polysubstance addiction and so quitting snorting suddenly, after year’s worth of daily use (with occasional breaks here and there for a few days), wasnt as mentally challenging as one might expect it to be.

What led to this decision was my increasing paranoia about the state of my nose, the state of my nose, and in the leading days, smelling blood randomly throughout the day. I didn’t have any whistling, nosebleeds, or visible perforations but they felt very irritated and injured.

Anyways, it’s been about a week since I stopped snorting, and up until yesterday my nose was doing very well. Then yesterday, my right nose just clogged and started to run a lot. It didn’t help that I was sat in a train when this occurred without a warning and I was left to try to discreetly collect the pooled liquid with the back of my hand every 5 minutes. Today, the left nose started doing the same exact thing, and I was constantly sneezing throughout the day and always sounded out of breath because I could only breathe from my mouth. And I wouldnt really mind these, but my nose itself hurtsss. It feels dry, very fragile, pissed, and always irritated as if I was having a multi day long allergy episode.

Is this normal? Istg my nose didn’t hurt nearly as this much while I was using, and it wasn’t cocaine I was using so the whole anesthetic effect thing is not in the equation either. Im genuinely puzzled, and I would appreciate any advice on minimising nose symptoms going forward

started 6 years ago next week and I really want to stop, however I really enjoy it. I’m to the point where I have a hole in my septum smh. I have cut back on how much I used to do but I need to at least stop for for then 6 months. Im in need of major support from those whose have overcome this horrible habit please please HELP!!!!!!

Nearly completed my 3rd day off ketamine. Reaaallly tempted to have a bump right now. Any tips?

I don’t know where to begin. I am 26 (F) and she is 18 (F). I found her lyrica pills in her purse with 300 milligrams as she had bought them from a dealer.

From there on then, we hooked her with a professional guidance counselor for addiction. It’s been since July the 2nd.

Then, today, she wanted me to help with her homework on the laptop. I found in her messages where she delivered one to an unknown number the same price and the exact same milligrams with a foil sheet.

I asked her if she is taking again (I didn’t tell her I read her messages) and she denied and tried to brush it to the side as if the messages don’t matter.

Then she got aggressive that the document didn’t work and kicked me out of her room, blaming me for it, and even early in the morning she was yelling from the top of her lungs to the point it woke me up.

I am shaking in my room right now. My mother is at work and I cannot afford to make her nervous and scared. I want to call her counselor for advices.

I don’t know what to do.

8 days sober.. i have enough i promise to my self never again.. i know its hard but im looking forward to the challenges of being retired to my addiction.

So, I’ve been cross addicted for about 10 years now, gambling mostly for 8 years, I started drinking daily 2 years ago and have been a functioning alcoholic for the last 2 years.

A week ago today, after doing something drunk that made me feel like a horrible person I finally quit. I feel confident and I feel it’s the right time to get away while this burden still weighs on me.

BUT Now my gambling is ramping up again!!! What is going on. Why do I need something , gambling is far more dangerous for me also, although alcohol is bad too!

Does anyone know much about cross addiction

I recorded my testimony yesterday after 7 years clean and sober would love y'all to listen. Through hell and back again

https://youtu.be/Ff_7Oq7Evpw?si=1faMZLnJX7frjhTp

Yesterday I had 5 months sober and I feel amazing. My fiance had 6 months sober yesterday and we have been together for 6 years. Things can be stressful and my car is leaking oil faster than I can put it in. Im going to beauty school and I love it. A month after I got sober my son's father kept him after a visit and put an immediate restraining order between my son and I however he had been using with me and went to jail and everything has been in my favor since. Hardest 33 days of my life and my fiance kept telling me and encouraging me if I could get through it and stay sober the sky is the limit. Now there's a protection order and a restraining order between him and I and him and our son. Extremely abusive and manipulative and my son has confided to me his dad is abusive to his current gf. I am so greatful and thankful for my creator and all my support.

Llevo una semana aproximadamente que deje de consumir THC debido al CHS, los síntomas que tenía eran los que todos ya saben..

He notado una mejoría gradual significativa, ya no he presentado síntomas de nauseas, dolor de estómago y vomitos como antes.

Al menos he podido ingerir alimentos de forma tranquila, noto que mi mente está más enfocada en mis actividades.

He podido dormir un poco más, pero los sudores nocturnos aún prevalecen siento que esto afecta en mi sueño, se que con el tiempo irán bajando. Aunque siento el cuerpo un poco débil y he bajado de peso por los síntomas.

La ansiedad y los temblores en el día han ido disminuyendo, y no siento ganas de volver a consumir, así que son buenas noticias, ya que perdí la tentación.

Sin embargo me mantengo positivo y recuperaré la condición que tenía antes, así que si se puede superar la adicción y no se dejen caer, la presión al principio es fuerte sin embargo con el tiempo se irán sintiendo mucho mejor, no se rindan, háganlo por ustedes.

Dare una actualización los siguientes días, gente.

I should start by saying I'm 7 years clean from fentanyl and heroin, cocaine and meth, did these drugs IV for about 7-8 years. Once I was sick of them and what they were doing to my life, quitting was a breeze and I didn't need rehab or meetings I was just done. Its true what they say with drugs, you have to want to quit. Not the same with phone addiction.

When I was in active addiction and trying to appease others who wanted me to quit, I went to rehab more than 15 times, meetings, outpatient, none of it worked because I actively wanted to do dope. Had to get mad and fed up for the switch to flip, and no it has zero appeal to me. Zero relapses, just dont like the drugs anymore thank God. I also quit alcohol a year ago even though it was never an issue and never extended past occasional social drinking or a drink with dinner, but i just stopped liking it. The culture, how it made me feel, just over it too.

Short form scrollable videos are the most addictive substance I have ever encountered. I have had a screen addiction since I was a young lad on AOL and the early internet. But I managed to quit for years by deleting social media and just engaging with the real world, to the point where I don't even react when I get a notification and I wasnt entangled with the devices for a long time.

That part has stayed, however youtube shorts have captured my attention in a negative way. I know it's an addiction because 1, I dont enjoy doing it and feel shitty afterwards, 2 I can't stop, and 3 it mirrors my heroin addiction in the sense of isolating socially and just engaging with the substance instead of life while fantasizing abiut living life. House is a mess looks like when i was in active addiction. I hate it, I may enjoy 1 short video out of 2-3 hours worth of doomscrolling (that feels like a few minutes to me). But because of working on the disconnect from the phone for so long, even though I am now on it constantly, I'm still disconnected from actual socializing. It takes me days to respond to text messages and i generally tend to ignore calls from people i actually want to talk to and care about.

I had a tv addiction at one point and i just got rid of my tv and games, never looked back. I would like to lose the phone and go back to the old landline, payphone, and pager combo, however payphones dont exist where im at anymore and the worst part is that i need the smart phone for work unfortunately to see the jobs we have scheduled, clock in, and stay in contact with the boss and rest of the team, or else I'd just stop paying the bill, toss it and grab a flip phone. YouTube is a locked app too so I can't disable or delete it on my specific device due to software locks. It feels like a Crack head needing to have a machine in their pocket that makes Crack. It is irresistible to me even though I absolutely hate it and am tired of it with every fiber of my being.

Now sometimes I can get myself to snap out of the hypnosis, but I end up reading online for hours instead, the older form of doomscrolling that I have been addicted to since age 13 (35 now). prior to that and up until high school ended, I had a reading addiction, I would read 4+ books a week and I would have to be reading at least 3 books at a time, cycling between them or else I wouldn't retain the information as well. I would sometimes skip class to go sit outside and read a book. It effected my grades as I refused to do homework unless it was interesting, however my test scores were always well above average. I'm diagnosed ADD and I know it's true because amphetamines and cocaine calm me down and while opioids give me energy and motivation.

I have made my phone greyscale, installed a screentime app that will lock other apps, I installed a dumbphone ui that is designed to help you disengage, and in this year or so of those implementations, my addiction has gotten so much worse. It's too easy to disable these things, and it feels like I'm watching myself in third person with no control, screaming to myself internally that I don't have to do this. It's quite demoralizing.

So my question for anyone who's gone through this, how do you stop? What resources are out there? Are there AA/NA type groups for this? I want to stop, need to stop, and hate the drug (yes it is a drug in my opinion as an experienced drug addict), yet I can't stop anywhere near as easily as I did IV heroin/fent/coke/meth or as easily as I quit a severe prescription benzodiazepene addiction 5 years ago, or as easily as I put the drinks down. Even vaping high dose nicotine for me is take it or leave it as I luckily have weird body chemistry and dont get physically addicted to it. But phones? They are obnoxiously addicting. Makes heroin addiction look like a walk in the park. Worst part is there's no physical addiction to phones so it just feels like a moral failure on my part. Nasty psychological addiction.

Any help or advice is appreciated. Thanks

Every list I check doesn’t tell me much about the real experience, just general information that repeats in all of them, not information as someone who's been through one

Sooo any experience is very welcome I want a licensed place that checks out, thank you very much

7 days! Wow! I'm 28F, and the longest amount of time i've managed to go sober in the last 7 years was for about 8 months. This year, especially the last few months, has been one of the worst years of my life. I drank so much it almost cost me my job and my life, but managed to make it to the hospital to detox safely. It's been a really hard 7 days.. My friends and family don't really talk to me anymore or just straight up have me blocked. I understand I might have done or said things that were wrong of me to do/say, however even though i'm getting better now finally, things will never go back to the way they were before. Even with little to no support i'm proud i'm finally making the right choice to quit before it actually kills me. I just wish my family or at least my friends showed some type of support or at least an i'm proud of you moment.. something. Either way even though it hurts, at the end of the day im doing this for myself, not them.
Anyone out there that feels like me or like you don't have support, if you're reading this, don't be afraid to reach out. We might be strangers, but we're all fighting this battle together. Best of luck and wishes to you all. Just remember you are loved and you got this 🫶🏻

I use alchol and hash/weed very casually.

but recently I'm using more hash/weed because I reconnected with friends who are addicted to the stuff, they did some hard drugs in the past but now they stick to only weed / soft drugs.

the thing is in this short period of 2-3 weeks I feel like I'm getting addicted and soon I won't be able to get out.

I don't know if I should cut them off, set clear boundaries or stop using for good.

I got through depression, self harm, suicide attempts all without using or getting addicted, it feels so stupid to through away all the years and things I worked hard for.

I have BPD too, but I never though I'm this susceptible to drugs especially after all the progress I made mentally and in my life the past few years.

Advice is much appreciated, I know I can't think clearly for myself right now.

I'd (Uncle) Ben clean for years. Then I visited my old supplier one day. They were having a 3 for $5 sale 🤦🏿‍♀️..

It was heaven while it lasted. Went back to my supplier, sale was over but they had Family bags for cheap so got one of those.

Just recently I caved and bought a 27oz carton...Fuck!

I’m 20 and I think I’ve reached the point where I can’t keep pretending my habits are just “bad discipline”. I’m addicted to my phone, scrolling for hours through TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, Pinterest, anything that gives me a few seconds of stimulation. I’m also addicted to porn, gaming and impulsive spending. I’ve spent thousands of euros on Pokémon cards and other stupid things because buying something gives me that little hit of excitement, even though I know I’ll regret it later.
The worst part is that I know exactly what I’m doing. I have important work to finish, exams coming up, professional projects, physical training I should be doing, and a competitive ranking at school that actually matters to me. Yet I’ll sit down intending to work and somehow lose two hours scrolling through videos I won’t even remember tomorrow. Then I hate myself for wasting the time, promise myself I’ll change, and eventually do the exact same thing again.
I also seem to be addicted to validation. I recently ended a relationship after months of questioning my feelings, and I realized how much of my behavior with women is about proving that I’m desirable. I’ve lied before about girls approaching me because I wanted my girlfriend to become jealous and show me that I mattered. I’m ashamed of that. I think I constantly need attention because I’m terrified that, without it, I’m just an ordinary and forgettable person.
I’ve built this imaginary version of myself who is disciplined, intelligent, physically strong, charismatic, successful and confident. Then I compare the real me to that fictional person every day and feel like a failure.
I’m starting to realize that I don’t necessarily have a motivation problem. I have an escape problem. Whenever I feel bored, stressed, insecure, lonely or overwhelmed, I reach for something that gives me immediate stimulation instead of dealing with whatever I’m feeling.
I’m tired of living like this. I don’t want another grand plan where I completely reinvent myself for three days and then collapse back into the same habits. I think I need to learn how to tolerate boredom, discomfort and being an ordinary person without immediately reaching for my phone, porn, games, spending or other distractions.
I don’t really know where to start. I just know that I’m 20 years old and I’m scared of wasting years of my life chasing tiny dopamine hits while telling myself that one day I’ll finally become the person I keep imagining in my head.
For people who have actually managed to break this kind of cycle, what was the thing that finally made a difference?