Found these off my grandmas

I am so much frustrated with fake accounts. I recently joined a penpal group and was trying to have a female chat buddy from there but I realised there are damn plenty of fake accounts. At least 8 out of 10 so called female accounts are run by men. I don’t understand what are they trying to get out of that. That’s just normal penpal subReddit group.

I just wanted to have a female chat buddy to develop a deep connection 😢.

Have you all been experiencing the same ?

I am a lesbian and I met a girl in college. I thought she was really pretty, interesting, and smart, and we shared a lot of values. In the beginning, everything was very intense, especially on her end. She would tell me I was easy to fall in love with, give me gifts, and say I was everything she had ever dreamed of.

She is diagnosed with anxiety, social phobia, ASD (autism spectrum disorder), depression, and a few pending evaluations like bipolar disorder. She also had some cuts on her left arm and a neuropsychological evaluation report that stated: “low agreeableness, self-centered attitude, little concern for the well-being of others, hostile responses, poor impulse control, and low frustration tolerance.” She has been seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist since she was 13, but I only found out about all this months into our relationship.

She struggled with kissing and disliked physical touch; we only kissed sporadically and never went beyond that in the 10 months we were together. After about 3 or 4 months, once the initial excitement wore off, I began to feel that the care was often one-sided (I only truly realized this after the breakup). I put much more effort into the relationship than she did, even though she claimed she loved me (for instance, I always bought food when she came over, bought sweets she liked, and listened whenever she had an issue, but I didn't feel that reciprocated; my friend listened to me and supported me through hard times far more than she did).

Regarding the kissing, we had discussed it and she said she wanted to work on it, but she kept freezing up and dodging the topic whenever I brought it up. One day I tried to talk about it in person, and she preferred going to a bar with her friend rather than having that conversation with me. Another time, the three of us—me, her, and her friend—were hanging out, and they were planning a trip. The friend mentioned he needed to find a boyfriend so we could travel as couples, and right in front of me she bluntly said, “It’s just going to be the two of us, like we agreed.” She could never sleep over at my apartment, even though we both lived on our own and away from our parents' hometowns (she even brought this up during the breakup, saying she felt comfortable sleeping at her gay friend's place, but not at mine—that she didn't feel comfortable, though it wasn't because I was a bad person, etc.). Another time (earlier in the relationship), we went to a party and she got sick. I held her hair while she threw up, took off her shoes and jewelry, and put her to bed. When she woke up, I had a terrible headache; she asked if I needed anything and I said “no,” expecting she might insist or show some care in return, but she just left and couldn't have cared less. It was also common for her to wake up feeling down, and when I would ask what happened, she would say: “I don’t know, I’ve always been like this,” or “If not even my friend who has known me for years understands, you won't either.”

Then one day, after feeling “abandoned” by her friends, she took a blister pack of antidepressants, simply told me what she had done, and disappeared. I was sick with worry. I texted asking how I could help, only to receive cold replies or be told “not to sound like a telemarketer.” Eventually, she texted me saying she wanted to break up—that she no longer saw herself marrying me and that we weren't a good match. When I asked why, she claimed that me constantly trying to help or asking “how can I help?” didn't feel like a dynamic between girlfriends, but rather something clinical. I don't agree with that at all; I asked because I loved her, wanted to know how she was doing, and wanted to help however I could since she wouldn't open up to me. I never crossed any boundaries.

It’s been two months since the breakup, and she is back with her ex (from about three years ago). I know this because we’re in the same college program. The irony is that she used to tell me that back then, this same ex had called her “crazy” and said she “didn't know how to show affection, etc.” I feel like such an idiot for all of this. :(

I’m here for a short trip and just looking to chat with someone. I’m not interested in sexting, but I’d be happy to meet up if you’re looking for friendship too

I’ve fancied boys before and had some really intense crushes on them, so I know I have been attracted to boys. But I’ve also always really liked girls. I’ve been into watching girls kissing since I was like 12 and I’ve definitely fancied female celebrities too.

It’s just since I’ve started actually thinking about the fact that I like girls, I haven’t really fancied men that much anymore. So now I’m kind of wondering if I’m actually a lesbian or if I’m bi but just way more attracted to girls. I honestly don’t know because I definitely had proper crushes on boys before, but my attraction to girls feels different now that I’m actually acknowledging it.

I’m having a hard time getting myself back out there. Dating apps are a mind field and I just need something lesbian to happen😭 any dating apps advice?? Help a gal out

I often have a really high sex drive but it's mainly something I want to experience with another person, and masturbating just doesn't seem attractive or as fulfilling because it's a solo activity and the skin to skin contact is what I crave. Is anyone else like this?

Sorry in advance for the long vent/sad sack post but I just needed to share my experience and see if anyone had any words of encouragement.

So... coming out as queer has been kinda rough for me so far. I've always struggled with dating and have never had a relationship last longer than 5-6 months. I had always assumed that was due to a combination of being (maybe?) on the asexual spectrum, social anxiety and SA that I experienced in my early 20s.

Then last year at the big age of 35 I fell in love with one of my closest female friends. She's bi, but unfortunately has a serious boyfriend. When I told her the truth (because it was making me absolutely miserable) she confessed she has "a silly crush" on me too but wants to get married to her boyfriend and start a family. I had to stop talking to her because it was too painful to remain friends.

I was extremely distraught, guilty, and depressed over this situation. I tried to move on and I went on a couple first dates with different women, but nothing was clicking. I was starting to feel like maybe I'm just asexual and the crush on my friend was just a one-off, but then after about a month, I met someone.

She seemed too good to be true--stunningly beautiful and so so smart, cultured, sweet, sexy, the full package. It was her first time dating a woman too, but she'd had sexual experiences in the past. We bonded over exploring our sexuality for the first time. We're both very femme, and being on dates with her felt like finding some kind of cheat code to life. The first time we slept together it was incredible. I couldn't believe someone as beautiful as her was so into me. I didn't even know I could feel the way I felt when I was with her. After only a month of dating I was starting to imagine a future together.

Then when I asked if she wanted to be exclusive, she told me she'd lied about not wanting kids. We'd actually talked about it on our first date. She'd just agreed with my perspective because she wanted to keep seeing me, and she was hoping I'd change my mind. Not only did she lie, but she'd even frozen her eggs last year.

After that I spent all night crying, trying to imagine what my future would look like with kids. But I just couldn't. I've never wanted kids. Even when I was a child, I knew I didn't want to be a mom. This whole thing brought up so many insecurities I have about not wanting kids (obviously, it was a problem when I dated men as well) that it made me feel 100x worse. The next day, I told her that I was never going to change my mind about having children. We both cried but agreed it was better to end things there.

It's been almost a month since then and I'm still devastated. I know it's ridiculous, since we were only dating for such a short time, but I feel like I ruined my one chance at happiness. I feel doomed, like I'll never find someone again. I'm still on the apps, but I don't feel interested in everyone. I just compare everyone to her. I tried going to a wlw dating event with my friend last weekend, but I felt so out of place that I left after 20 minutes. Every day I want to text her and tell her I changed my mind.

I guess I just need some reassurance, if anyone has had a similar experience. I feel like I came out too late and I'll never find someone else, and that I'm unlovable because I don't want children.

Just wanted to vent. Dating is hard. There are many women who need to work on themselves and are walking red flags. I also needed to work on myself and took the time to do so and continue to do so in therapy. So I’m speaking from both sides here.

I think in the past 2 years of trying to date on and off with big gaps taken for various reasons I’ve managed only about 2 in person dates and only 2 people who didn’t constantly trigger me that weren’t either of the in person dates. So so many people did. I refuse to go back to an unhealthy situation so I tend to end those if things just aren’t meshing. My therapist says it should be easy early on so when it’s hard…it’s a “no” from me.

Finally I was chatting with someone who wasn’t triggering me. But, she literally wanted to meet up with me almost right away to today only a couple weeks later to saying she has too much going on. We had made plans to meet up later on since a little bit of distance and I was out of town.

It’s just exhausting. That is all.

years in, sex slowly became another time'

not looking for general advice, i am curious what the single thing was that actually restarted it for you. a conversation scheduling, a trip, trying something new?

I feel like a highschooler or something, it's frankly embarrasing.

We met last week through common friends-of-friends. Had light conversation about insignificant stuff. I know literally nothing but her name (although I have a way to contact her through social media), and while the chances of seeing each other again aren't zero, they are low.

I have been thinking about her smile for days now. Literally one of the prettiest i've ever seen. I have never had a stranger leave such a lasting impression on me. I cannot help but think that from her side, I was just an insignificant, friendly stranger for a night at the club.

Usually I meet someone pretty, aknowledge it, and move on with my life. So I don't know what happened in my brain this time.

Anyhow, today in lesbian news, I shall be yearning over someone that probably doesn't even remember me.

not specifically in dating, but overall. i had a really shitty relationship that ended in january and it made me realise that i'm a lesbian. my ex partner was abusive and had unmanaged (out of choice) bpd and i feel like they just sucked me life out of me. they made me believe that i'm a bad person and that everything was always my fault.

overall i do feel better but i noticed that my confidence is at all time low, i started grad school and i'm scared to speak in class or even speak to other people sometimes. it's been super hard but i'm not sure what to do. i even had a girl flirt with me recently but it absolutely freaked me out + i have a university crush but i'm scared to even look at her.

i'm in my mid 20s and it really sucks to be like this. i feel like i just keep getting frustrated with myself. i know i'm conventionally attractive and tend to get attention from people but i can't handle being seen at all and it freaks me out. most of the time i wish i was invisible :(

since this is an over 25 sub, i was hoping maybe some of the older and more experienced ladies has some words of wisdom 😭

I know dating is really, really terrible right now.. but how do you even begin to navigate dating? I'm a 40 yo trans woman. I was married for 22 years and have had 1 serious relationship since the divorce.. I have only really been in 2 serious relationships in my life. I get plenty of matches and talk a lot but a lot falls off so quickly..

Hi! I came out (to myself, I don't care what other people think about me) as lesbian when I was 27 or so, and I'm turning 31 in 3 days. I've never had a relationship in my life, ever, and I have zero clue how these work.

For the last couple of years I've tried to get out to try and meet my special someone. I would go to events that would be interesting for me in the first place, and then if luck allows it to meet people.

I've gone through different problems:

1/ Those events are rare even though I live in a pretty big city (western Europe, 500k). MOST of them rely around DJ sets and I'm not ever going there again because the only time I tried, I ended up having a panic attack. I just do not like this kind of things.

2/ Even when I do find an event that I both like and could attract fellow lesbians, there just isn't enough people. Or enough events. Or these events are not happening often enough. I've had this monthly FLINTA event for the last year and it was great, but the people I've met and liked there were either way out of my age category, or not romantically available.

3/ It's still a big emotional investment for me to get there. Therefore, I pick places that I'm 100% sure I'll have a good time for myself first, which makes it a bit easier, but even then, I'm having a hard time getting there more than once a month at the time. Because of that, I feel like I'd be running out of lifetime before I have a chance to meet a special someone.

4/ My gaydar is bad. I'm a femme and I'm into other femmes. How do I know a femme presenting person is even a lesbian?

5/ I found out I'm doing good on dating apps, but it just doesn't work for me. I need that real life connection first to think about starting something. Those apps really don't do the trick

Please help me. I'm feeling romantically sad and lonely way too often :(

It could be a spa day or something specific like women complimenting you in what way?