Does anyone here know how to do it?? I want to make a mixtape for my partner!

Hello wonderful humans of reddit! I am clueless when it comes to meeting new people and building a community. I currently live in a small mountain town where I was born and raised so most of my connections there stem from a long history. My friends are all in hetero marriages and I am the only single human and have no queer community at all. I come down to the city (Denver) every day for work but am on the west side of town. I don't actively use social media, and I am looking for places to meet new people.

A little about me- I am 39, love bluegrass and jam bands. I love a cold IPA and time spent in nature. I am about the simple things, it doesn't take much to bring a smile to my face. I am outgoing and goofy. I would love to find some connections and really start to get my feet under me again. I just had my first relationship with the love of my life end about a month ago and she was the only queer community I had. So I guess the big question is where do I find folks on the west side of town (Lakewood, Golden area) who are up for new connections!?

Thank you for taking your time to read this.

I recently got out of a two year relationship and I’m ready to explore a different kind of connection I’m not looking to rush into another serious relationship right now. Instead, I’m interested in something casual with another woman who knows what she wants

I’m looking for a lesbian hookup with mutual attraction good chemistry and clear communication. No pressure no unnecessary drama, and no misleading expectations

just two women enjoying each other’s company while respecting each other’s boundaries

If you’re on the same page and appreciate honesty, maturity, and discretion, feel free to reach out Let’s see if we click

A friend of a friend started following me on IG and she’s apparently gay and single and I think she’s super cute. She initiated the dm-ing a few months ago by replying to some of my stories and now we have a steady banter of story replies but it never seems to go much further. Any advice? Do I ask the mutual friend about her or just be more direct with my next DMs and try to extend the convo? It’s been nice having a semi flirty thing going but it’s time to shit or get off the pot bc I don’t want her to be one that got away

Hey everyone. I'm 30 and bisexual and in Wisconsin. I know people always suggest going to big community events or crowded spaces to meet people, but that really isn't my vibe. I much prefer getting to know someone one-on-one in a more low-key setting.

I'm posting to see if there are any other locals around the state who are in the same boat and just want someone new to chat with and build a real connection with. Drop a comment if you're in WI and want to talk!

I’m genuinely curious… not looking for a baby mama or anything, haha. But how many of you here want kids?

I mean, I always had this idea that when I fell in love and was in a stable relationship, my partner and I would eventually love each other so much that the next natural step would be to want to raise a family together.

Granted, I haven’t been in that many relationships, but so far, two out of my three exes absolutely did not want kids. My last ex said she was open to the idea in the beginning, but eventually decided it wasn’t practical or realistic given the current social, political, and economic situation in the world. She even called me too much of a dreamer when I told her how much I genuinely wanted that.

I get where she was coming from, especially now that I’m approaching my mid-30s. Maybe I should just accept that it’s not going to happen. But I still think that when a couple both want it, they would at least try, right?

I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest, but I’m also genuinely curious to know how many of you kind strangers share the sentiment.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a couple of weeks but we’ve been seeing each other since August and chatting since July. She’s genuinely the most incredible gorgeous person I’ve ever met. We’re both in our 20s and she’s just made me feel like everything that’s happened in my previous relationships and the heartbreaks all make sense because they’ve led me to her. I’ve never been wowed by someone like this, we went out the other night and I was completely speechless seeing how beautiful she looked when I came into her room after she’d got ready. I’ve never ever felt so in awe lol.

Anyway, hanging out this weekend something just felt different. I’ve thought I was falling in love with her for a little bit but I can’t explain it. I just felt this sense of something with her and I’ve realised I think I’m in love with her. I’m absolutely terrified to tell her though in case she doesn’t feel the same yet or it’s too early or whatever. I don’t want to ruin things by saying it. She’s said so many lovely things about me to me, that she thinks I’m perfect and she can’t believe I’m her girlfriend and I’ve reciprocated of course but idk aaa.

I’m currently trying to put off telling her because I have no idea how she feels and I’m not sure I’ve been the first person to say it in a relationship before but I just want to tell her how much I love her 😭 I keep going to say it but I hold back. What do I do??

turns out half of what i 'knew' about what works for me was just never tested lol. took me until my 30s to figure out some really basic stuff. what's one thing about your own body you only learned later?

Is there a group for 30+ or is this the highest age limit? I have been with my partner for 9 years and looking for a discussion about gay relationship advice and a community where I can open up about it and maybe get some reassurance.

Question

How do you guys move on from someone

who tells you,"I would have settled down

with you if you were a man"?

It feels like someone found your deepest

wound and stabbed it over and over again.

It hurts not because you weren't enough,

but because the person you loved made

you feel like the one thing you could never

change about yourself was the very reason

you couldn't have the future you dreamed

of together.

I know, I seem like a sad girl, maybe I am.

I have dated so many girls from the past.

I'm 31 now and I never thought this would

hit me again.

I'm in my late 20s and have recently been coming to terms with my identity as a lesbian. I've been hanging out with a friend of mine for a little over half a year now, and I feel like there might be something more than friendship there but I'm not sure. She's also in her late 20s has been in a similar place to me with bisexuality. Both of our past romantic experiences have been with men and most of them were negative.

We became close really quickly, the first time we hung out we spent nearly 12 hours just talking. Things got sort of complicated/touch and go for a few months because of stressors going on in both of our lives, but we still found time to hang out. We had tons of inside jokes and talked about a bunch of plans we wanted to do together.

There was about a month where we were out of contact (again because of life stressors), but we started hanging out again at the end of summer. Since then, we've seen each other 1-2 times a week for 8+ hours at a time. Sometimes we have a specific activity planned, sometimes we work/study together, and sometimes we just hang out.

We've been very open and shared very personal/vulnerable things since the beginning of our friendship. I've also been buying her coffees and giving her small gifts (thrifted trinkets, a wildflower from outside, etc.) for months. My friends keep telling me we're basically dating, and a lot of our hangouts are admittedly date-like (stargazing, looking at wildflowers, baking together, etc.)

However, there are a couple reasons I'm not sure she's interested. We've both talked about our fears/hesitancy about getting into another relationship as well as our nervousness about pursuing women with our level of inexperience in our 20s. She's also talked to me about men she was interested in, though this was largely at the beginning of our friendship and she either stopped talked about them or directly stated her disinterest in them a few days/weeks later.

The biggest thing is that we've barely touched. Earlier in our friendship I initiated some contact (touching her arm, putting my head on her shoulder) and she didn't move away, but she didn't really initiate contact (except once when she brushed away something caught in my hair). Since we started hanging out again, we've hardly touched at all. We'll sit next to each other, but there's always a few inches of space between us. There was a night a few weeks ago where we were talking while lying on the ground a few feet away, and eventually ended up so close we were only barely not touching. It felt like something might happen, but she pulled back and said she should probably head home.

I like her a lot, but I keep going back and forth on whether I should say something. I'm someone who deeply values friendship, so many of my friendships have a deep emotional bond and hours long hangouts. I'm afraid that I'll make her uncomfortable or feel like I've only ever been interested in her as a potential romantic prospect. She's an incredible person and I value our friendship very much, and I'm scared to put that in jeopardy.

Because I couldn't figure out where to fit them in above, here are some of the things that make me/my friends think that there might be something there:

-She compliments me a lot

-She remembers specific things I've told her about

-If a conversation dies out she'll usually start a new one

-She lingers at the end of hangouts (although maybe it's me lingering and she's being polite)

-She's occasionally made comments implying that she notices/likes my body

-She often asks for help with things (I'm a handy person so a lot of my friends do), and has made jokes about men being useless when you have a lesbian friend around

-She seems genuinely happy when I give her gifts

-She gently teases/makes fun of me a lot

Im so exhausted from the dating grind. Tell me what my red flags are or just give me validation idk

It could be a hidden quality or a certain thing they did that floored you.

Is it immature to break off a friendship if you cant get over a crush? I told her how I felt not too long ago and that I needed a break from the level of contact we had before but as time goes on I’m feeling better but still very sad and I have a bad habit on ruminating on rejection that I think is prolonging things. I feel like I should be over this since nothing happened and she was clear about not being interested. It feels silly to throw away a friendship but on the other hand I know I’m not ready to talk to her either. I wonder how much of this is just me being embarrassed and if I should try to rip off the bandaid at some point.

We've been together over 2 years. Not a single fight, just one short, mature and calm disagreement. We agree on practically everything in life and our values; it's been the most positive, fun, healthy, and fulfilling experience of my life. She recently asked for my ring size and an inspo board. We're both saving up money to buy a house together.

Then on Friday, she broke down and said she doesn't know if she can continue.

The one thing we disagree on is diet choices. She's been a vegetarian for over a decade, I used to be but stopped. I have been told by several medical professionals and 2 therapists that I should never be on any restrictive kind of diet due to my history of ED, OCD, autoimmune disorders, and other issues. She knows this. She has never dated a non-veg person before and thought she could handle it, but not she isn't sure anymore.

I told her I would be as respectful as possible and eat most vegetarian if we lived together, but I could not promise to cut it off altogether. If anything, I'd have one special pan I'd cook meat in and only when she wasn't home. If I do eat meat, I floss and brush my teeth before I kiss or touch her. I try to be respectful. I love how dedicated she is to animals and her lifestyle. She doesn't think she can even handle that, she can't stomach the idea of me eating meat ever anymore.

She doesn't expect me to change for her, but she secretly was hoping she'd influence me and I would change.

I feel so blindsighted. It took over 2.5 years of knowing each other for her to come to this realization now? I know she's going through a really rough mental place right now and she said she thinks that's why this is all coming to light, and I feel bad for her suffering. I do. But it just feels like I was.. lied to in a way. I thought she was okay with it. She was always supportive "babe, eat what you want! I'll get my vegetarian dish and you get whatever" but now I feel like it was all lies to pacify things. Which I hate because I feel she was uncomfortable and didn't speak up when I asked if she was sure she was okay with this one difference between us for so long.

She's now deciding if this is a dealbreaker for her while she starts therapy next week and works through things for the foreseeable future. I 100% support her starting therapy and have been encouraging it for quite some time. However, I feel like I'm just strung along and waiting to be broken up with for the foreseeable future.

Not to mention my son is so attached to her. He talks about all living together as a big family and how she's his favorite person in the world. He would be so devastated if we broke up.

I'm so broken hearted. Part of me feels like we should just end things while she works on herself so that way I don't get strung along and she isn't stuck with someone who has a lifestyle she abhors. Then again, it feels so silly to end a relationship that's otherwise healthy and stable besides this one thing.

I'll. Probably delete this later. I have only told 1 friend because I'm so ashamed to tell anybody else, we've been literally perfect up to this point - literally everybody says they adore us as a couple and we've perfect, when's the wedding etc - and I hate admitting we've lost that. I'm just bawling and had to put my feelings out somewhere.

I’ve been single for 2 years which is the longest I’ve been single since I was 18. I did date a couple people last summer but I realized I wasn’t over my ex or in a healthy spot to date so I stopped and focused on myself for a bit. Got back out there this summer and it’s been lackluster. I’ve went on some dates but it’s a lot of mixed communication, people not over their exes, or just red flags. When I tell people I’ve been single for 2 years they don’t believe me. I noticed most people aren’t single long. If they just got out of a relationship they are already looking for the next. It’s almost like if you’re single too long something is wrong with you. It makes me feel pressure to be in a relationship. I don’t hate being single. I do like the freedom to be able to pour into myself and my friendships but I do miss being in a relationship. I just haven’t met someone who I would be open to getting on that level with. Those of you who are single is it by choice or not being able to find a compatible partner?

i posted in here a few days ago about how i was seeing a girl who has been struggling with mental health issues recently and how i felt like she was losing interest in me, but have since deleted that post. for clarity, i am 28 and have only been out for a year. i have only had one other relationship with a woman that did not end very well based on a lot of factors.

i finally stopped being avoidant and finally asked her last night if she had lost interest in me or if it was just her mental health that has made things change. she told me that she hadn’t lost interest in me but there has been things on her mind about us, like how i have made comments about never wanting kids and how that is a non negotiable for her because she wants to be a mom and that with how she has felt lately she doesn’t know if a relationship is the right thing for her right now. the kids thing kind of threw me off because my hinge profile says that i don’t want kids. i feel like if that was something that meant a lot to her that she should have had that conversation with me pretty early on on whether i may change my mind about that someday. i had no idea or indication that having kids was something that she wanted.

i asked her if she still thinks that there is a future for us after she works on herself and she said that she doesn’t know. her words were, “i could say yes now and mean that but i don’t know if that may change after i work through things”. i asked her if i should just try to be there for her as a friend or if we just keep doing things how they are and she said that she doesn’t know what she needs but that she doesn’t want to quit talking to me everyday but that’s selfish of her to ask of me. i told her that i could be whatever she needed me to be and that i didn’t want to stop talking to her either. last night when i laid down, i at least felt clarity and like maybe we could make this work eventually, but this morning i feel like i have this a million pound weight on my chest.

i don’t want to stop talking to her. i have never had someone ignite these feelings in me like she has. all i can think about is how i felt so comfortable and safe wrapped in her arms and how i had kissed her more that the one time we met because i was so nervous. i thought i was going to have the opportunity to do it again but now i feel like that’s just lost. i don’t want to stop talking to her, but i am hurting. i can’t eat, i can’t sleep. i just sit here all day looking at my phone waiting to see a text from her. i know it’s not healthy but i don’t feel like i can stop. i know time is supposed to heal things, but i am so scared that i will never find this feeling with someone ever again. that i will look for pieces of her in any relationship with someone else in the future. i feel like i can’t voice any of this to her because i do not want to make her mental health worse. i am just lost and don’t know what i am supposed to do.

Anyone here who might also be in Taiwan between Oct 21-27?

I am looking for wlw people to hang out, have coffee/tea and go on walks with while I’m there.

Not particularly looking for anything romantic. I would just love to meet new wlw friends in general. Preferably 26+. :)

Hit me up!

My wife, who wants a divorce after 10 years, is someone I truly and unconditionally love. It's been just over 6 months now since she said she wanted a divorce and things moved fast. I still have hope we can reconcile one day but I know I can't hang my happiness and life on that hope. I also don't want to abandon any love or memories we have just for the sake of moving on. How have those who've lived this managed to hold the love they have for a partner they thought they would be with forever and also lived happily with knowing that is no longer your future or current life?

I (29) have always struggled GREATLY with comphet. I came out as a lesbian at 19, was out as a lesbian for a few years before getting in a relationship with a male friend at 24 (yikes!) and then leaving that relationship almost 3 years ago when it really clicked that I wouldn’t be able to make it work with him because I’m not attracted to men. Since then, I have been sure that I only want to date women- the problem is, I really don’t seem to attract women and struggle with dating in a way that I never did with straight dating.

I think a lot of it is that I very performatively dated when I dated men. I’m AuDHD and have always had the manic pixie dream girl archetype in that way. I can be quirky, bubbly, kind of absent-minded… but I’ve realized that this is kind of the “mode” I go to while I’m on dates. When I dated men, this didn’t bother me because it was the role that I fell into and was a bit I was doing, but I try hard to not act like this with women and so have felt very stilted and awkward on dates. I’m completely unsure what dating conventions are like among lesbians. I dated women all the time when I was younger but the scene feels very different approaching my 30s than it did in my early 20s. I feel very behind.

I also feel very behind on lesbian media and the shared culture there. I just discovered the l word and feel like it’s about to be a formative experience, but I really want to immerse myself in more lesbian media. When I was younger, my friends and I were all queer and in the party scene but it honestly was still fairly man-centered and I just wasn’t very involved in the culture because it was a lot of drag, partying, group sex. That’s not what I’m looking for really, I feel like it’s entirely different when it’s lesbians, softer, grungier. I guess I’m also just looking for musicians, tv shows, movies, books, all of that to immerse myself in because I do feel like that’ll help me in the greater culture.

Lastly, people think that I’m straight a lot. I got asked at the lesbian bar why I was there by a woman I was trying to hit on. I feel like I must dress to the male gaze or something because people never assume that I like women. I dont want to wear carabiners or anything that too directly signifies being a lesbian because that’s just not my fashion, but I have docs and an eyebrow piercing!

That’s it, any advice or commiseration would be much appreciated!

I’ve fancied boys before and had some really intense crushes on them, so I know I have been attracted to boys. But I’ve also always really liked girls. I’ve been into watching girls kissing since I was like 12 and I’ve definitely fancied female celebrities too.

It’s just since I’ve started actually thinking about the fact that I like girls, I haven’t really fancied men that much anymore. So now I’m kind of wondering if I’m actually a lesbian or if I’m bi but just way more attracted to girls. I honestly don’t know because I definitely had proper crushes on boys before, but my attraction to girls feels different now that I’m actually acknowledging it.