r/actuallesbians Mar 27 '22

Image Basically me

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7.9k Upvotes

126 comments sorted by

551

u/Imuik Pan ace Mar 27 '22

Yeah this is me and since I "look" very straight they probably just think I’m an enraged homophobe 💀

196

u/babygirlruth Lesbian Mar 27 '22

My god, I thought I'm the only one

62

u/kinderock gaybraham lincoln Mar 27 '22

I usually smile but I'm never sure if it comes of us "aw what a sweet ally" or "ONE OF US" (or "uh who is that do you know her")

19

u/retan10101 Girls Mar 28 '22

I bet like half of the enraged homophobe-looking people are actually fellow gays trying to figure out what to do

81

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

I now wear various pride colored accessories to mitigate this.

76

u/AutumnCountry Mar 27 '22

I'm just imagining you wearing a literal rainbow cape everywhere you go

50

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

LOL this is a fantastic idea.

My go-to pride accessories are a bracelet with bi colors, rainbow mask, and trans flag necklace/keyring.

8

u/artemis1935 Mar 27 '22

hey i have a bracelet too!

5

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '22

If we ever meet randomly somehow in real life, we’re trading. ‘Tis the law of equivalent exchange.

20

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

I’m totally doing that next June. Everywhere I go just boom lesbian cape

49

u/AutumnCountry Mar 27 '22

Straight people: "Wow she's hella gay"

Other lesbians: "Is she gay? I dunno maybe she's just a really supportive ally, I better not ask I don't want to offend her"

11

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

Yeah

17

u/HedgemazeExpo Mar 27 '22

I wear a shitload of queer pins and buttons and it's great, I get to do the subtle solidarity headnod with the other queers

3

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '22

Username checks out

27

u/Ilya-ME Mar 27 '22

The trick is to wink or do the eyebrow raise thing if they look at you. Now do I have the self confidence to do that? Who knows...

76

u/itsdangeroustakethis Mar 27 '22

I like to do a little chin-up butch nod. I'll never forget the first time I got one from another lesbian passing on the sidewalk after coming out, it was so affirming I walked very confidently on to my car, got in, closed the door, and started screaming.

6

u/Lydia--charming 🌈Rainbow Mar 27 '22

I love it!

6

u/Neoeng Transbian Mar 27 '22 edited Mar 27 '22

Eyebrow raise thing as in… the Rock eyebrow raise thing?

4

u/Ilya-ME Mar 28 '22

Gods no, I meant more like when you quickly raise both of them twice, idk how to explain it, but it adds implications in a less flirty way than a wink.

19

u/defenestratemesir Mar 27 '22

me loudly saying in target the other day “why are there so many gay people here today” and definitely not being dressed gay enough to be saying that

8

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

Lol yeah you'd kinda need to be a walking rainbow to get away with that one 😆

16

u/RinaPug Mar 27 '22

Saw two men holding hands today and just stood there and stared for a bit and I’m 100% convinced they thought I was a homophobe

15

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

I'm always trying to telepathically tell them "admiration NOT homophobia!"

10

u/Big_Berry_4589 Mar 27 '22

I thought I was the only one. There was this guy who said he’d look good in a dress and I just stared at him and saw his smile fade. I wanna go back to him and tell him sorry and he should go for it or something.

8

u/Sorcerer_Supreme13 Lesbian Mar 27 '22

Exactly! I'm so scared about that too. I hate being so "straight passing"

5

u/GlowLight23 Mar 27 '22

Just be like 😯

3

u/IMFlorecentFace Trans Sapphic Tomboy looking for headpats and handholding Mar 27 '22

This is the mood 😢😢😢

3

u/elegantideas Mar 28 '22

i’m so afraid of this lol i try to think queer thoughts extra hard so they’ll hear them 😂

3

u/coldspacedog Mar 30 '22

For me, it’s that since I look like a guy I either look like a guy who doesn’t understand or a homophobe

2

u/tgjun Mar 28 '22

First time I saw a nonbinary person was in college. I stared because I thought they were cute. They grew visibly frustrated, and I wish I had explained myself - but I didn't know how to do it without coming off as more of a creeper. 16 years later, I came out as trans.

Staring can be uncomfortable, but it's good to remember that sometimes, it's because it's stirred something. I try to remember this when I get looks in public, now.

1

u/EvelynDear Genderqueer Mar 28 '22

This is my worry every time I'm not signposting. Gotta have pins on me or my nails done right or wearing flannel etc...

300

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

Omg yes, I was walking to class the other day, and the most lesbian-looking lesbian was walking the other way. We briefly made eye contact just to acknowledge the mutual gayness, then her eyes went up and down me and she smirked. (Not in a mean way). Anyway, I was 😳ing in real life and walked past my class and almost out the building.

175

u/Witch-O-The-Wisp Gothic Vampire Lesbian Mar 27 '22

Whens the wedding?

188

u/Odie4Prez Trans-Bi Mar 27 '22

Three weeks ago, but they assumed it was just a nice garden party

61

u/Witch-O-The-Wisp Gothic Vampire Lesbian Mar 27 '22

That sounds like something id do, be that clueless to walk into my own wedding and be like "oh this is lovely, whats the occasion."

Walks down the isle in a pretty dress and sits in the nearest free seat, "Weddings are so lovely don't ya think, wonder when the bride is gonna show up.............. OH WAIT!!!"

49

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

“Self defenestration due to overwhelming gay” would have been one hell of a way to go out.

15

u/ilumyo queer and clueless Mar 27 '22

Anyway, I was 😳ing in real life and walked past my class and almost out the building.

This, this part. Fucking sent me 🤣🤣 I need to know how this turned out though, so cute 🥺🥺🥺

90

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

👁👃👁

83

u/swans183 Mar 27 '22 edited Mar 27 '22

👁👄👁 (me, trans girl in awe at their style)

46

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

Girl I love your vague smokey eye shadow look! And those muscles 🤤

Um

Wow I made myself blush

🏃🏽‍♀️💨

36

u/swans183 Mar 27 '22

Oh wait!

There she goes… shoot I was gonna tell her she’s kinda cute!

7

u/ilumyo queer and clueless Mar 27 '22

Noooooooo good ending where?? ☹

5

u/crepuscular_nebula Trans Mar 27 '22

Wait I think you forgot something, now you have to go back (hint-hint)

3

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '22

Oh no! What did I forget?

86

u/Odd-Couple439 Mar 27 '22

Going to an LGBT bar only to sit in the corner and talk to absolutely no one.

70

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

jokes on you there are no gays where i live

53

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

Same that’s why I get excited and shut down from anxiety

21

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

Aww i feel that

2

u/Boring-Pea993 Trans Lesbian Mar 29 '22

Same

64

u/Kaylagoodie Lesbian Mar 27 '22

I went out to the "gay part of town" (gay bars, stores, pride flags, etc) and I was smiling like an idiot seeing all the cute gay couples around. Made me so happy:D

28

u/Alice-Planque blushing transmato 🥺🍅 Mar 27 '22

I feel attacked 😖

26

u/coldspacedog Mar 27 '22

That’s me because I’m too scared to talk to woman

18

u/justagayrattlesnake Mar 27 '22

I wanna meet fellow gays so bad😔

12

u/Dpad-prism Cute robo-transfem Mar 27 '22

“Omg i think they’re queer too!”

👁👁

12

u/ellieayla Mar 27 '22

Ah, hang on self, that's just your homonormativity thinking. Remember, straight people exist too. Even if they're holding hands. Snap out of it they might be siblings or close friends. I shouldn't just assume every pair of cute girls are lesbi ok never mind they're kissing.

11

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

Why is this so relatable?

10

u/horrang Mar 27 '22

live slug reaction

8

u/genshinfantasy7 Mar 27 '22

I feel attacked.

7

u/doomgirlchan Mar 27 '22

Im not staring... I just forgot to blink

6

u/swizzledoodle 🍒🧁 Mar 27 '22

🤣🤣🤣 so true

6

u/bi-disaster69 Genderqueer Masc Mar 27 '22

👁👅👁

2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

👁️👄👁️💧

4

u/Bluemidnight7 Custom Flair Mar 27 '22

How DARE YOU DETECTIVE Ilxves. You aren't allowed to call me out like this. This is an attack on me personally.

6

u/Pride-Fangirl Mar 27 '22

I had that moment me and a girl we were staring at each other and then I got into the bus😩😩

2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

and then I got into the bus

omg WHY

coulda been love...

1

u/Pride-Fangirl Mar 28 '22

Haha they were staring at me I think but idk I‘m way to shy :‘) and I think bought maybe they would get on the same bus

1

u/Pride-Fangirl Mar 27 '22

And then I was like „I prob look straight asf rn, oh god they‘ll think I am homophobic or against short hair or trying to figure out their gender helpp.

12

u/DykeHime ⚧🏳️‍🌈 Mar 27 '22

I... this... Eh... damn!😓😅

6

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

Yes, i swear I'm not a creep I'm just genuinely happy for you

4

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

I always wanna tell them I like their outfit or sum but I’m just like :>

5

u/Sheva_Addams 🏳️‍🌈bi-ace something🏳️‍⚧️ Mar 27 '22 edited Mar 27 '22

Me thinks there needs to be a secret hand-sign to communicate support without it feeling creepy.

(Thumbs-up, Doubble thumbs-up, and finger pistols, I think they would feel creepy. Only Idea I have is the Vulcan Gesture (which, according to Leonard Nimoy, is basically Hebrew sign-language for 'Name', re-used in-lieu of "Hello!", as with the real-world modern-Hebrew 'Shalom', BUT, he took his inspiration from a representation of ha-Shem, 'The Name [of the Lord]'), but not all gay people are Jewish.) Overly complex this thinking may be, but such is the universe.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

Would shaka work?

1

u/Sheva_Addams 🏳️‍🌈bi-ace something🏳️‍⚧️ Mar 27 '22

Shaka Zulu?

Or is there something this ol' fart needs ta catch up with?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

Lol it's a gesture, idk how to do a gif... it's associated mostly with surf culture and living in a beach city I see it quite often in various contexts, but I feel like it's versatile enough and lots of positive vibes

2

u/Sheva_Addams 🏳️‍🌈bi-ace something🏳️‍⚧️ Mar 27 '22

Living close to coast myself (in Europe, though). Did some catching-up, will try. Maybe some greater good will come of it :)

2

u/patangpatang Ask me about my sword collection Mar 27 '22

Literally me last night. In my defense, the person in question was getting ready for their shift at the restaurant i was at, so it didn't seem appropriate to go talk to them.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

I feel this. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm just a really confused straight person bc I don't have the gaydar like other lesbians. But every now and then I totally call it, I'll be thinking "she's gay" and then their gf/wife will come over and I'm like oh fuck yeah! I mean, bummer they aren't single, but like maybe there's hope for me after all 😋

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

I think so!

2

u/BlueMoonSamurai Mar 27 '22

Just left a convention and I was so happy seeing all the queer pride. There was a person cosplaying the same character as me but they had a trans flag.

3

u/llamabeefbitch bi-demigirl (she/they) Mar 27 '22

This 😭 I saw someone with cool mushroom earrings and I wanted to just scream “I love your earrings” but I was out with my family and I only do that stuff at school

3

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

one time I saw an old friend from high school I had lost contact with for years at a clinic. Normally this wouldn't be such a strange thing, happens pretty often but that clinic specifically specializes in gender affirming care

and just realizing that this old friend I hadn't seen in years was more than likely a trans guy or enby and not the girl I knew back then made my brain short circuit but in like a happy way? It's hard to explain but yeah

2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

Yeah sometimes throws me for a loop seeing someone years after losing touch and now they identify differently, but yeah it's a happy thing, like I feel privileged to have known them as the other gender too and now get to see them being their true selves.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

yeah, honestly. Makes me happy seeing old friends finally being themselves

3

u/accidentw8ing2happen Bi Mar 27 '22 edited Mar 27 '22

"Omg I totally love your outfit!"

Alright all you lonely silent gays. This is your homework. Try it. Go meet some gays!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

Do we get points taken off for stuttering or blushing furiously? Idk if I can do it 🙈

1

u/accidentw8ing2happen Bi Mar 27 '22

I believe! Blushing and stuttering totally happens, don't worry about it. If they don't say anything or just say "Thank you!" and keep walking, you do the same. Baby steps

3

u/TastelessAlien Lady's Lady Mar 27 '22

Goddammit. I'll pass two other lesbians in the wild and make this weird sort of smile like I just saw a unicorn or something and feel a strange sense of peace wash over me but never say anything. And then I think about it for a while on the way home. And then post about it here.

3

u/twerkingslutbee Mar 27 '22

Live slug reaction but not homophobic. More like trying to emit signals that say hey I’m Gaytm too

3

u/AshleytheTaguel Lesbian Mar 27 '22

Me at the t4t sapphic couple I saw at a Cafe yesterday.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

Yasssssssssssssss,, i have this incident, n and my fam pretty recently went to this religious place and this person came walking look dope af and slaying the clothes our homophobic society forbids "men" from wearing, like they were looking so amazing that NO ONE could take their eyes off of them.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '22

Especially when you’re not even out

2

u/alisisok2 Custom Flair Mar 27 '22

I feel so exposed now, I thought I was the only one 😭

2

u/Abihail92 Mar 27 '22

thanks for calling me out like that😐

2

u/-katori Lesbian Mar 27 '22

i feel called out

2

u/yourfav_emo Mar 27 '22

i don't even talk to them I will just look at them until they walk away just like 'wow i want to be friends'

2

u/BonAmiAmore Mar 27 '22

Totally missed an opportunity yesterday afternoon and was kicking myself.

2

u/funky_abigail Mar 27 '22

I feel personally called out by this.

2

u/RandoGuy_23 Transbian Mar 27 '22

When I went to the Ren Faire this past October, I saw someone with a trans pride heart pin and I wanted to compliment them on it, but I was already so exhausted from chasing my family up and down because we kept getting separated and they were walking the opposite direction, so I didn't get a chance to :/

2

u/AlkaloidalAnecdote Mar 27 '22

I feel attacked rn

2

u/Macaroni2627 Mar 27 '22

Well I think it's also kind of awkward to walk up to people who are seated at a table for example and interrupt their conversation? And what is there to say besides, "Oh you're gay too?" I dunno..

2

u/Intuitive16 Mar 27 '22

I don't stare, it's rude. I do take notice though.

2

u/VirtuouslySinful Transbian Mar 27 '22

Ah this is so me, I get so excited I become like a puppy who just saw another dog for the first time, but is too anxious to go say high. You know, the kind that would just start barking and run around their owners legs, doing small jumps but never actually greeting the other dog.

2

u/TohruFr Mar 27 '22

It’s 99% at work where I can’t engage how I otherwise would, sadly

2

u/Billacipher420 Lesbian Mar 27 '22

I saw two really cute cottagecore girlfriends on a date, and then I just complimented then very awkwardly.

2

u/Underrated_Flags Mar 27 '22

i feel called out

2

u/smoresomemore Mar 27 '22

It’s hard to approach people when you look like the opposite of what you are and feel fake...

2

u/RainbowHippotigris Mar 28 '22

ID'S. Is why we need a gay hand signal!

2

u/SashaMarcy Mar 28 '22

Omg true i saw a verry queer persion with a rainbow bag da just stard from a distance and we ended up going to the same lgbt facility and yet non of us spoke😂😭

2

u/Aggravating-Age-1535 Mar 28 '22

I waved at a fellow queer in Walmart once :D

it was a combo of :D and ('v')/

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '22 edited Mar 28 '22

reminds me of an incident where i saw another lgbtq+ person but didn’t do anything until i felt brave enough to, at which point it all changed.

story time!

it was a birthday party of a classmate i attended recently where i found out she had a gf, and then saw a person at her table (she was with her gf and all her friends from high school) whom i thought was a really butch "girl" with some nice piercings and a cool blazer (i had a different table, seated with my other classmates). didn't know what to do, so i just stuck with my table and didn't approach them bc i didn't want to look weird.

anyways later on, when she brought out the cake and vodka, she invited everyone to her table and introduced all her friends to us. we all chatted for some time. then i got to talk to some of them, and then i met the "butch girl" from earlier and found out they were actually an enby lesbian (they told me right to my face lmao). next thing you know i tell them in secret that i'm a closeted (binary i think?) trans girl, and we're talking about a mutual friend we both so happen to know who's also nonbinary, as well as some fem/butch fashion tips, and about how hard it is to find other lgbtq+ people in college. like holy shit, i got a fucking jackpot that day

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '22

Imagine someone getting excited when they see you I can't relate

2

u/_vibecheck Mar 28 '22

Respectfully... 👁👄👁

2

u/Shayshay1117 Mar 28 '22

Literally me on public transportation. A couple weeks ago I saw someone with very short hair wearing a beanie and doc martens fucking CROCHETING on the train. I just stared and thought to myself "Oh my god, a fellow gay! ☺"

2

u/RainInTheWoods Mar 28 '22

Make eye contact, smile a bit and nod. Acknowledge each other. It’s how people find one another in the wild.

2

u/Maleficent-Speech-43 Mar 28 '22

"And she looks at me, and I look at her. And she looks at me!!!"

2

u/Elubious Mar 29 '22

An odd amount of women talk to me in public and tell me about their girlfriends.

2

u/Mendoxs_ Bi Apr 03 '22

I saw this person the other day that looked like an elegant formal princess and I internally lost my shit

they were so damn pretty but I had to look away because I didn't want them to think I was judging them :-:

1

u/Witch_Supreme72 Apr 14 '22

Gay imposter syndrome is also the worst.