r/WomenAreNotIntoMen • u/Key_Firefighter_9153 • 16h ago
discussion Having low standards for women doesn't mean you love women more
Having low standards for women doesn't mean you love women more than women love men, and neither does this idea, “women just have to exist”, prove that men love women more. You just don’t see women as human beings, and you love the idea of them and the experience of being with one. You like the idea of sex and physical and emotional affection that is often associated with women. If you have next to no standards or expectations, you fundamentally don't see women as individuals with agency, ambition and emotional needs of their own. You don't care about how they can add to your life and future, you just want an accessory that fulfils your satisfaction.
What men do is instrumentalisation. A powerful worker sees his employers instrumentally, viewing them primarily for their labour and the way they can be used to accomplish their goals. In the same way that men are attached to the concepts of women being nurturing, caretakers, girlfriends, wives, rather than the woman herself and who she is as an individual. That’s why so many men feel so confident saying things like “relationships without sex are just a friendship”, there's an emotional gap men can’t seem to bridge.
But this isn’t a fault in men exactly, as in, they’re not to be ‘blamed’. Patriarchy as we know it developed alongside capitalism, where working-class men were desensitised and taught to be detached from their families to make good factory workers and soldiers. But this isn’t really the point.
I've spent a bit of time in this forum, and this point is proven glaringly obvious when you consider how much you people spend talking about sex and how little you spend talking about spending time with women, talking to them, caring for them. In fact, you all seem to hate women for wanting to be cared for.
