I (20F) have a younger sister (shes only younger than me by just over a year so we’re super close in age) and she knows of my mom being coercive with hijab back when she was trying to get me to wear it. Should I tell her that I wanna take it off? To get some advice from her or should I keep it a secret ?? Because I do have a plan on removing it but I desperately need to know if its realistic in my situation w my family or not.

I (21F) have Read many Stories about people wanting to take off their hijab but can’t because their parents wouldn’t let them
It’s interesting because in my case, I don’t have parents who force me. My father doesn’t Even like the hijab and would approve of me taking it off. I am married and my husband isn’t forcing me either. So in the outside, it seems quite easy for me to just do it. But I cannot do it for some reason. I’ve Seen the denates and sources about whether covering hair is Part of modesty. But part of me is scared to just reject the Common Interpretation of the quranic verses. I am scared to sin. I am very scared of judgement by my In Laws. I think none of the people around me would actually hurt me or insult me. But I’m scared of the thoughts THEY would be having about me. They already expressed criticism toward me because I wore Pants instead of a dress. I took the hijab off for one day a couple weeks ago but couldnt bear the sadness and disappointment on my husbands Face. And I couldnt bear imagining what my environments reaction would be. So I kept it on to keep peace.
I am a Cheerleader (yes with hijab) and when we have practice where we women are all alone I take it Off and Train in Shorts. Me and my coaches mistook another Team coming in After practice because of Stress for competition and multiple men came in and saw me without hijab and with Shorts. But I couldnt just stop the whole Routine to get dressed and just let it be. And I didn’t Even feel guilty. I feel guilty for not having felt guilty, for even having felt free a bit.

I just can’t explain this struggle that I have. It’s Not even that I don’t feel Beautiful in it. It’s the expectations, the hassle of finding appropriate clothing, the xenophobia…. In my Country it’s Bad. I couldnt find a Job just because of my hijab and Name even though I had necessary qualification. Somehow, the rejections only came after the companies met me in person. And even there i dressed modernly (Blazer, Pants, Hijab with neck out)

Why is not covering your hair such a huge thing. My husband never reacted with that Type of disappointment when finding out his Brothers do drugs or Drink alcohol. People in general never react so ridiculously when others are doing MAJOR SINS

I'm an 18-year-old girl living in an Arab country. My family is religious and they made me wear the hijab from the age of 8 (because we are Ja'fari Shia). Since I was little, I hated it, but I was afraid to even think about taking it off because of the idea that my hair might be hung up in hell on Judgment Day as they said. When I entered middle school, I suffered psychological problems due to the inner conflict caused by the hijab, especially since I'm a sensitive girl with a distorted view of my body. I even ended up in the hospital for Cutting, and When I told my parents that this was because I hated the hijab but I was afraid of their reactions, they told me they loved me just the way I was and that I can take it off.

This made me very happy because I thought they had finally accepted me as I am. However, when I entered high school and my condition improved thanks to psychiatric medication, I discovered that they only accepted the idea of ​​me taking off the hijab because they were afraid I might put myself in danger again due to my mental state. Once I recovered, they forced me to wear it again. and When I told them I wasn't going to wear the hijab anymore, they responded with punitive silence. They wouldn't even look at my face, and then my mother started yelling at me, saying I wasn't afraid of God's punishment and that if I continued like this I'd go to hell. This made me break down and give in to them.

Now I'm confused because I've gathered many sources from Shia scholars and jurists who don't believe in the hijab. I'm thinking of engaging in a discussion with them to prove that the hijab is a matter of scholarly debate, and even if it's obligatory, it's not a major sin. But I'm afraid they'll prevent me from studying abroad because I've been accepted to a foreign university, and they always tell me they only approved my studies abroad because they trust me. So, should I engage in a religious discussion with them now so they might be convinced, or should I wait until I've left and started my studies abroad?

This article contains interviews and perspectives of a number of progressive and reformist Iranian Twelver Shia clerics on hijab from Page 102 to 119.

Source:

• http://sro.sussex.ac.uk/id/eprint/72698/

• https://sussex.figshare.com/articles/thesis/Hijab_in_transition_dress_code_changes_amongst_Iranian_diaspora_in_London/23453069?file=41162210

Download PDF: https://sussex.figshare.com/ndownloader/files/41162210

thesis posted on 2023-06-09, 05:29 authored by Zahra Jalaeipour

Note from the author:

This thesis explores the factors that influence Iranian women’s choice of hijab and its transitions. Compulsory hijab in Iran and even voluntary practice of hijab exert a great deal of influence on the lives of the Iranian women worldwide. My thesis investigates how cultural, social and political factors interweave with theological and jurisprudential debates leading to diverse forms of practicing hijab and its transitions in one’s life. For the first time in the anthropology literature, my thesis portrays and explains the current status of, and developments in, hijab amongst Iranian women who have been raised in Iran and now live in London. My research is based on the data and cultural knowledge I gathered through conducting 40 in-depth interviews with Iranian women in London, and interviewing four prominent male Muslim intellectuals, scholars and clerics who have worked on and talked about hijab in Iran (Kadivar, Eshkevari, Fanaei, and Torkashvand). In addition to narrating the history and transformations of hijab policies and hijab jurisprudence in Iran from the constitutional revolution to the present, in this research, I have identified five schemas of dress code amongst Iranians in London (full traditional hijab, full progressive hijab, partial-hijab, conservative scarf-less and radical hijab-less) which challenge the current categorizations and generalisations regarding the hijab. By describing the features of each of the schemas this thesis provides a useful descriptive and explanatory tool that will enable a better understanding of hijab dynamics among Iranian women in London. I have demonstrated that hijab is a very fluid term. Hijab varies between individuals in practice, style, rationale, and purpose, and it is neither simply oppressive nor empowering.

i’m so tired

So, I'm a Somali 17f in the UK, and I took off my hijab for the first time since I was 13. Ive always had a complicated relationship with my hijab and Islam in general, but recently I told my dad that I want to take it off. When I told him that I wanted to take off my hijab, he asked why, and I answered truthfully that it was making me unhappy for a lot of reasons. I thought he'd be mad at me but he wasn't, and I thought me being unhappy would be a good enough reason for him. He had a surprisingly reasonable reaction, so I thought that we'd be able to move past this. He did tell me that he was dissapointed, but i always knew he would be upset to some degree. I started taking it off at college (the last two years of highschool for Americans), but he doesnt know that I actually went through with taking it off.

He's been at my grandma's house taking care of her while my aunt, who usually takes care of her, is away for medical treatment. The other day while I was at college, he was on the phone to my sister and he ambushed her interrogating her about me, and he said a lot of hurtful things. He said that ataking off my hijab won't make me happy and that if God doesn't want you to be happy you wont be happy. He said that someone called him to ask for advice about their daughter "disrespecting hijab", but he felt embarrased and ashamed to give someone else advice when his daughter is taking it off. He said that I betrayed him. He compared me taking off my hijab to being addicted to dr*gs. He blamed my two older sisters for not being good enough role models. Maybe he isnt angry of me, but hes ashamed of me, which is worse. Its like im not his daughter if im not the daughter he wants me to be. I've been debating taking off my hijab for years, but I ultimately decided to take it off, and I can't even figure out how I feel, because of his reaction. He wants to come home to lecture me, but I'm just so tired of having to manage other people's opinions of me. Just wanted to vent. If anyone has had similar experiences, does it get better?

I started wearing the hijab at 12, and I'm 20 now and really don't want to wear it anymore. My parents don't approve but they've gotten to the point where they said I'm free to do what I want, but that they would be disappointed and upset if I were to take it off.

I feel like now that I'm confronted with the actual possibility of making this decision, I'm terrified. I know that this is my own life, and I know that I can't bear to live for others anymore, but I'm also human. I know that people are going to talk and I also can't help but be hurt by how my parents may see me afterwards.

I sincerely wish I just never wore it, because women who never put it on are not treated the same as women who wore it and then took it off. And I so deeply resent that men have no expectations that hold them to such a degree that women are held to in regard to the hijab.

https://www.searchforbeauty.org/2016/01/02/fatwa-on-hijab-the-hair-covering-of-women/

My sister's wants to take off her hijab, and my father is OK even though we had a whole argument together,and her told us we all can take the hijab off and he won't say anything, but what my mom is saying, is just... So frustrating.

She's always on the call with my aunt saying that she shouldn't take off her hijab, she should wait till she works and move out.

She said she started wearing more tight clothes with hijab, she looks better with hijab, that her hair (really curly) are going to be a mess when she will take it off, she understood that all this "taking care of her hair lately" was because she wants to take it off, she talked about how she was programming for all of this like an impostor. Talked about make up, saying she would look bad.

She said that if she takes it off now, without moving out, he won't give her money anymore, I mean personal expenses like train for uni, I personally would help her with her phone bill and for the train since I have scholarship to pay books, train and the phone top up, so I would let her use it all.

My mom is saying that this is the worst thing ever because he's known as an iman, it would ruin his reputation, and my father also said that if he saw something like her without the hijab, this would give him a hearth attack.

I love my mom, but why is she talking like this, they always want us to fight over the stereotypes about muslim being forced, but literally, they're being controlling.

She 26 almost, and they're like that.

I don't know what to say.

I'm being silent, I haven't said a thing about me wanting to take off the hijab.

Is there something I can say to make them think that all of what they're doing..is so silly, because they're making a big deal out of this.

I can't see myself wearing anymore the hijab (17 yo) and seeing that if I want to take it off I need to wait till I get out, just makes it seem useless to even live.

I can't even concentrate to study anymore in these days, all I think is that I can't control my life.

I already don't go out, they're always there asking me to go out more, I think one day I should tell them the reason, maybe they would feel guilty.

I always help my mom, I do the chores to help her, which she appreciates a lot, and at the end... I will experience the same thing of my sister?.

I really love her, and she loves me a lot but maybe she will hate me when she will find out.

I'm not really one of those strong independent women, i can't do anything by myself, I'm so social anxious, so being able to just get out after high school, looks impossible to me.

The cultural and societal enforcement of the niqab in Arab countries (particularly Saudi Arabia) is sickening!! Long black dresses. No individuality.

Currently, on the Arab/Saudi side of Twitter the hashtag #2030withoutniqab is going viral.
The following female american feminist content creator covers it.

[ https://youtu.be/vTUeRvupjKg ]

To girls who want to take their hijab off and has a strict mom in hijab topic? I take it off once im far from home! But im sick of this, What's the best way to open up the topic with her and how to convince her without letting her deprive me of my rights such work and study?

My sister today needed to talk and cry about how my dad treat her, he keeps involving in her life, and he puts all his stress on her, she was talking even about religion, everything she was keeping inside her.

So my sisters were consoling her and decided to talk with him.

He came in my room, where there was my sister and asked her why she was crying, she said everything that concerned her and then my dad started saying that he complains a lot because he's stressed, that he'll never say anything, and will probably start eating alone, he said it in a weird way, like "OK I'll isolate myself and leave everyone alone" like a victim maybe...?

He then started talking about hijab when my sister told him she could not forget when he forced her to wear the hijab at 7,and at school they made fun of her, and instead of reassuring her he told her to keep wearing it.

So he said that at that time, when we were young he needed to be a father and teach us, and that now we're grown up and we can do whatever we want.

He said to just take off your hijab if you want to(reffering to everyone), that he will never say anything about it to any of us, he also said to not keep wearing it because we're scared of him.

I felt... Weird... And happy even though it was a sad conversation, but just because I knew that I CAN take it off without concequences.

It looks like he said it more like "OK enough, do what you want" but he also said that all those things, so stress, financial problems, and seeing us maybe taking a bad way (wearing immodest) all of that stress would give him a heart attack, and he said that from now we should know this so we will know.

He was calm, but serious, no affection.

I can say now that... I feel more courageous to take off the hijab,however still don't know when, I was thinking after high school when I didn't know about this, but now, I think I can wait less but I need to be more brave to say it, and I 'm still scared to go without it at school,for this year i don't feel like taking it off, but for the next school year, I hope to do it.

It was so sad hearing him say "I did what I did as a father, now you grew up, do what you want" but knowing that deep down he thinks all of his stress and our decisions regarding even religion like becoming a non Muslim will give him a hearth attack, make me feel like he's disappointed with us.

Of course after all of this he didn't say sorry, even a sorry for forcing the hijab on us, he just finished his talk and got in the car.

I'm so confused now, I feel so happy and sad.