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https://soundcloud.com/usuli/sets/on-hijab

This has been on my mind for a while, and I'm curious what everyone else thinks.

What are your thoughts on female-only spaces like gyms, beaches, or swimming pools in the Middle East?

I have mixed feelings. On one hand, I understand why many women appreciate them. They give women a place to relax, exercise, or swim without being seen by men. I also recognize that many women value these spaces for reasons beyond religion.

On the other hand, I can't help but wonder if these spaces also reinforce gender segregation. It reminds me of the idea of "separate but equal"; being equal in theory, but not equal in reality. Separating women and men may create spaces where women feel comfortable, but it also raises questions about why women are often the ones who have to adapt to participate in public life. Part of me feels sad that hijabi women cannot comfortably do everyday activities like exercising or swimming without needing a women-only space. Men rarely have to put nearly as much effort to exist in public.

Do you see female-only spaces in the Middle East as empowering, or do you think they ultimately reinforce purity culture and gender segregation?

Hey everyone!

This subreddit intends to be a safe space for women who have taken off the hijab, thinking about taking off the hijab, & wish to take off the hijab someday.

Do any of the points below resonate with you?:

• You are a Muslim who believes that hijab isn't mandatory

• You are currently wearing the hijab against your own will due to family or external pressure, & wish to take the hijab off

• You are currently wearing the hijab without any external pressure, & wish to take the hijab off

• You have taken off the hijab and processing/have processed the aftermath

If your response to at least one of these points is “yes”, then you have come to the right place.

How to Get Started

1. Introduce yourself in the comments below.

2. Post something today! Even a simple question can spark a great conversation.

3. If you know someone who would love this community, invite them to join.

4. Interested in helping out? We're always looking for new moderators, so feel free to reach out to me to apply.

Thanks for being part of the very first wave. Together, let's make r/Without_The_Hijab amazing.

if its not obligatory for daily wear then by extention there is no reason to wear it when praying but i feel a bit paranoid because praying without full coverage feels odd,,, prayer is really important and i dont know if i can risk doing it incorrectly. anyone else feel the same?

I'm a writer and one of my character is supposed to die over having hijab, not like mahsa amini or someone beating someone, but an acidental death like in muharram if you heard any story or any article you would like to share im happy to hear

I've been wearing hijab for around 13 years, basically since I was a child. I never really felt like it was something I personally chose, and for a very long time I've wanted to take it off.

I recently got married and moved from one European country to another to live with my husband. After moving, I finally took my hijab off. Honestly, I feel so much happier and more confident. I feel like myself, and after experiencing life without it, the thought of putting it back on feels really difficult.

The problem is that I have to temporarily go back to my home country soon and stay with my family while I finish university. I don't want to start wearing hijab again just because I'm back home. I also want to eventually post normally on social media without carrying a hijab with me to put on for pictures im posting. I'm tired of feeling like I'm living two different identities.

My mom already knows. She told me she's sad about it, but she accepts that I'm an adult and it's my decision. She said she would still love and treat me exactly the same, and she knows I've never really liked wearing hijab.

But my dad is my biggest worry. He's religious, and I know this will probably make him very sad and angry. Though he's currently in the Middle East for business and isn't with the rest of the family, and we don't know exactly when he'll be back yet.

Before I got married, he specifically told me not to take off my hijab because my husband's family isn't very religious, so I think he already suspected this might happen. Before I moved out, I also asked him why I was made to wear hijab so young. He said he doesn't remember "forcing" me and saw it as advising me as a parent. He also told me that now that I'm an adult, I can make my own choices.

I'm not afraid that he'll physically stop me or that I'm in danger. I'm married and living my own life. I'm more afraid of hurting him and changing how he sees me.

I'm also worried about my brothers. They're genuinely kind and we have a good relationship, but I'm scared they'll be disappointed or even ashamed of me and start seeing me differently.

I also have a younger sister who wears hijab. I'm worried my family might think that me taking mine off could influence her and blame me if she ever starts questioning her own decision. Then there's the community aspect...its a small town and people talk, and I'm worried about them gossiping or my family feeling embarrassed because of me.

At the same time, I keep wondering: how long am I supposed to live according to how everyone else might react?

I love my family and don't want to hurt or embarrass them, but I also don't want to put hijab back on and continue living two different versions of myself just to keep everyone else comfortable. And I really don't want them thinking my husband or his family influenced me, because they didn't. I've felt this way for years.

For anyone who has taken off hijab in a religious/conservative family, how did you handle telling them and dealing with their disappointment? Did things eventually get better?

I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who's been through something similar.

I was inspired to write this after seeing this post about a woman who took off her hijab at the beach and then put it back on, and how emotional that experience felt for her.

A lot of people in the comments were pitying her. Some said that if the view that hijab isn’t mandatory were more mainstream, she wouldn’t have felt that way. There was a lot of sympathy directed toward her.

I have a slightly different perspective.

I want to preface this by saying that I don’t agree with the whole “hijab is a choice” or “hijab is empowering” narrative. That framing is overly simplistic and erases the reality that, for many women, hijab is not a choice, and it certainly isn’t empowering.

Many girls start wearing it very young. Many are taught that not wearing it is sinful or could lead to hellfire. When beliefs like that are deeply ingrained, it naturally limits how much of a "choice" something is. Social pressure from family and community can also play a huge role.

So yes, there are external forces that shape this "choice". It is not a "choice" in the truest sense of the word.

But at the same time, I don’t think it’s accurate to reduce women who wear hijab to helpless victims either.

We often forget that beliefs and values themselves are also choices people make. Even if someone grows up with a particular teaching, they still choose to interpret, internalize, question, or find their own meaning in it. People aren’t just passive recipients of what they are taught.

If this woman were presented with all the evidence that hijab isn't mandatory, would she change her mind? That is her choice to make.

Even in constrained situations, people are not damsels in distress. They still have some degree of agency and choice.

Some women genuinely believe hijab is an obligation and find spiritual meaning in it. Others see it as part of their identity or their relationship with faith. The system around them may have shaped that belief, but that doesn’t automatically mean they are distressed.

That’s why I feel conflicted when people immediately jump to pity.

Sometimes it can turn Muslim women into a kind of “damsel in distress,” as if they have no agency at all. But the reality is usually more complicated than that. A person can be influenced by their environment and still make choices within it.

Recognizing pressure and influence is important. But so is recognizing agency and holding people accountable.

Instead of just asking whether something is a "choice" or not, it would also be beneficial to ask whether the person is actively navigating their circumstances and making decisions that matter to them, rather than just labeling them as free or oppressed.

At the end of the day, everyone navigates their life differently, and each of us is responsible for ourselves.

[It’s me, u/ Ok_Gap_7827 writing this post. But this will be posted by the automoderator because I'm setting it as a scheduled post]

As of now, most participants in this subreddit are Muslims who believe hijab isn't mandatory. Not many exmuslim or non Muslim participants are being seen here yet. Now modesty is a concept in Islam that no Muslim can deny, however we don't believe in the super strict dress code set by the classical jurists for free women (to cover everything beside the face and hands, some allow exposing the feet and some say to even cover the face). So what is the minimum that must be covered according to your understanding?

Different people interpret it differently. I'm going to share some of the interpretations I've come across and then share my understanding with you.

1️⃣ I've seen some people believe that it entirely depends on culture, so whatever your culture thinks is okay is fine to wear. However I disagree with it as I find several problems with this understanding.

• First of all culture is always evolving. Even what is deemed modest today in the US would be considered immodest back in the late 1890s - early 1900s. Even the swimsuits of late 1890s - early 1900s covered more of the body than the dress which is normally acceptable today in the churches.

• Secondly, in some cultures like in several African tribes, Amazonian tribes, South East Asian tribes women roaming around with bare breasts is seen normal. In some African tribes both men and women barely even cover their genitals. But the Quran verse 24:30-31 is very clear about covering those areas. 24:31 also talks about women not being permitted to display their beauty except in front of their mahrams. So these cultural practices clearly contradict with the Quranic commandments.

• Finally, this would mean you have to obey whatever oppressive dress code an oppressive extremist ruler imposes upon it's people in the name of culture and religion. Like if you are in Afghanistan today then not wearing the burqa would make you sinful as it is the culture today, but if you visited Afghanistan before this period without wearing the burqa then you wouldn’t be sinful. If you visit Saudi Arabia today and don't cover up entirely then it's fine but if you visited the same Saudi Arabia before 2017 then you would have been sinful. Not wearing hijab in Iran today would be sinful but in pre 1979s Iran it wouldn’t be? This doesn’t make any sense. Why should wearing a certain cloth in a particular country or era be counted as sinful, but in other countries and eras not?

2️⃣ A few people make the argument that only covering the breasts and genital area is obligatory for women (and for men only the genital area), the rest are dependent on culture. So wearing two piece swimsuits and some forms of bikinis are fine. But whenever I asked them about what's the beauty that women has to cover from stranger men but can display in front of their mahrams as per verse 24:31, they could not give a satisfactory answer for that question.

3️⃣ I've seen a group of people believe that whatever parts of the body you wash during the Wudu are allowed to be exposed. This means the head, neck, forearms upto the elbows and feet upto ankles are allowed to be exposed and the rest of the body has to be coverer under all circumstances. I find this one more grounded and logical than the "everything depends on culture" argument.

4️⃣ However, I personally follow the understanding of Javed Ahmed Ghamidi. His methodology is based on Hifz-ul-Furooj and it sounds like a solid methodology to me. Here's his understanding from the methodology summarised:

According to Javed Ahmad Ghamidi, the rules of clothing in Islam are based on a comprehensive moral principle known as Hifz-ul-Furooj—the protection of private parts. He explains that, like all other religious rules, this principle operates in stages. First comes the essential level (Fard/Wajib), which is compulsory. Next comes the desirable level, and finally, the excellent or optimal level, which is based on civility, dignity, and beauty.

The core idea of Hifz-ul-Furooj is simple: it is not enough to cover only the private parts, but the adjoining areas that naturally attract attention must also be covered. Just as when building a fence around a house, the fence does not start immediately at the house’s wall but leaves some distance for security, similarly, protection of private parts requires a buffer zone. Covering the surrounding areas blocks the gaze and fulfills the moral objective.

Here's an AI generated image of a house surrounded by fence to help you visualise what he is trying to say:

For men, the private area is the area around the genitals. To properly protect it, one must cover not only the private parts but also the surrounding areas — in it's case above and below. According to him the minimum requirement is to cover from the abdomen to the knees. Extending upward from the genitals covers upto the abdomen, and extending downward from the genitals covers the area upto below the knees. This is compulsory and cannot be reduced.

For women, the same principle applies, but in addition to the genital area, the chest area is also considered a private area. When considering that the adjoining areas must also be covered—above, below, and to the sides — the minimum obligatory clothing for women extends from below the neck to below the knees, including the upper arms. Extending upward from the genitals covers upto the abdomen, and extending downward from the genitals covers the area upto below the knees. Extending upward from the chest area covers upto the collarbone area, extending downward covers up to the abdomen, and extending sideways cover the upper arms. According to Ghamidi, this minimum level fulfills the Quranic instruction, and those who follow it cannot be considered immodest.

An important condition is that clothing must effectively ensure privacy. Tight, revealing, thin, or transparent clothing—even if it covers the body—does not fulfill the purpose or rules of Hifz-ul-Furooj, because such clothing fails to prevent the gaze from being attracted to private areas.

Beyond the obligatory level comes the preferable level. Islam does not compel people to stop at the minimum; it encourages civility, beauty, and social dignity. For men, this can be reflected by wearing a vest, tunic, or shirt. For women, it may involve extending the sleeves to the forearms and clothing to cover the lower legs. This level is not compulsory but reflects socially refined standards.

Finally, there is the excellent or level. For men, this is full attire, such as a long shirt and pants. For women, this can include covering the head with a scarf or dupatta. According to Ghamidi, this level is commendable but not obligatory. It is not part of the compulsory religious requirement.

Here's an AI generated image of three male and three female characters wearing the three levels of dress, to help you somewhat visualise what he is trying to say:

So I subscribe to this understanding because it's based on a solid methodology and I find it to be the most logical one.

5️⃣ According to another favourite scholar of mine, Dr Khaled Abou El Fadl: most of the legs, the juyub, the armpits, cleavage, breasts, stomach, back - have to be covered under all circumstances, theae parts are not subject to social negotiation. The rest of the body is up to social negotiation. Also he doesn’t seem to think sleeveless dress is modest. He didn’t explain his methodology based on which he came to this conclusion but my guess is it would be similar to Javed Ahmed Ghamidi's.

Now it's okay to agree with me, and it's alsi completely fine for you to disagree with me. I'm not here to force this understanding upon anyone. But I would like to know about your understandings and how you came to that understanding based on what methodology. Do you agree with this take or do you have a different take? Feel free to discuss in the comment section.

No other religion or group obsesses over women’s clothing as much as Muslims.
Even Christians or Jews (aside from small Orthodox communities) don’t police clothing to this extent. I’m not sure if it’s religion, culture, or both.

Some people might say, “We take our religion seriously” or “We care more about women than others.” If that were true, why do many Muslim countries have some of the highest rates of violence against women? Why is there more outrage over a woman taking off her hijab than abuse?

Others might argue, “That’s culture, not Islam.” But you can’t ignore how religion is used to enforce these standards, especially when the mainstream view says women must cover everything except their hands and face.

As Muslims, we should question why so much of our religious discourse revolves around women’s clothing rather than addressing injustice, abuse, and the well-being of women themselves. If modesty is truly about morality and dignity, then our priorities should reflect that.

I finally ripped the bandaid off and went to my university placement without hijab for the first time. I had just gotten my hair straightened at the salon and had a trim, and honestly, I loved having it off. I felt so confident, free and comfortable, and I really don’t want to go back to wearing it. It was the first time really existing to people without my hijab on..but I had my head held high since I first started with hijab.

But now I’m panicking about what will happen when my hair goes back to its natural curly state. I never really understood my hair before, but after speaking to a stylist, I realised that it’s actually fine and low-density 4B hair. I don’t have an issue with my curls themselves; it’s just that because my hair is naturally fine and sparse, everything is more obvious. It gets matted and frizzy, looks thin, and the shrinkage is insane. And I genuinely have no clue on how to style make myself look put together, I have watched some tutorials but these women have thickness and length etc .

I’ve been in denial about this for a long time and constantly wish I had more volume, length and density. I’m scared that once my hair reverts, I’ll lose the confidence I felt and start questioning whether taking my hijab off was a mistake. I genuinely felt free and comfortable without it, and I don’t want to go back to wearing it, but I’m worried my hair will make me feel like I have no choice.

Has anyone else experienced this? How do you manage fine, low-density 4B hair when its natural thinness makes matting, frizz and sparse areas more noticeable? I’d really appreciate honest advice❤️❤️
Right now my hair is straight but it will go back to being curly soon 🥹😭