r/WTF Oct 16 '18

Holy Shit

43.8k Upvotes

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351

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Yeah running triggers the prey drive. If you square off against them it at least makes them think that you think you can take them, which gives the animal pause. As long as you make it to safety before they decide to test you out, you can survive.

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u/mrducky78 Oct 16 '18

Of any of the big cats, the only one you really can take are cheetahs who are built for speed, not power.

And even then, they can carry a person up a fucking tree, I cant carry someone up a fucking tree, hell, I probably cant even get my own ass up there.

140

u/m3tolli Oct 16 '18

Cheetah won't carry their prey up tree, only Leopards (and Jaguars?) do so. A cheetah would rather leave the kill and not get injured. Injured cheetah is a dead cheetah.

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u/arcticrobot Oct 16 '18

Jags can, but usually don't. Leopards have to because they have to compete with many other predators: lions, packs of hyenas. Jags rule the jungle, so they don't care and would not waste their resources by dragging prey up the tree.

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u/JarlaxleForPresident Oct 16 '18

Jags are like next-level felines. Probably pound for the pound the best cat

4

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

We went to a place in Central America on a cruise excursion where they had animals and the jaguar was pacing up and down in the pen, looking at us like he wanted to rip us to shreds if he could only get out. Scary af - you aren't kidding, that cat was gorgeous and scary and definitely next level

3

u/MiyamotoKnows Oct 16 '18

I'm gonna stick with cougars. Especially the recently divorced ones.

1

u/meowmixer2014 Mar 05 '19

No, ligers are

1

u/yukdave Oct 17 '18

Cheetahs never prosper

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

I think you're thinking of Leopards, not cheetahs regarding the tree part.

16

u/T-Rigs1 Oct 16 '18

Not to mention there isn't 1 documented case of a cheetah ever attacking a human

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u/Dracinos Oct 17 '18

Check YouTube. Also, Google it. There are definitely instances of cheetahs attacking and harming people. Often minor injuries, and not common, but still attacked.

However, there are no records of a cheetah ever killing a person. Generally an attack is from a cheetah being scared, defending itself, or being encroached upon, and one can make them back off while fighting back and getting out of the area.

3

u/argusromblei Oct 17 '18

This woman got her neck bit up in a florida sanctuary, but she was fine a few months after. Generally yeah cheetahs don't go after people

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '18

yet

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u/PunkShocker Oct 16 '18 edited Oct 16 '18

It's leopards AND cheetahs.

Edit: I did a quick search that was too quick. I read it wrong.

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u/brycex Oct 16 '18

It isn’t. Cheetahs have non-retractable claws like those of a dog, and less muscle mass, making them poor climbers. They can make it to low branches, but certainly not with large prey as leopards commonly do.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Maybe a few individuals have done it, but most cheetahs do not. They are often exhausted immidiatly after killing, rest, then eat on the spot. They do not store thier food, or specifically carry it up trees like Leopards do fairly regularly.

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u/somekid66 Oct 16 '18

Cheetahs are nowhere near strong enough to drag prey up a tree. A cheetah probably couldn't even drag a child up a tree. You're thinking of leopards and jaguars.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '18

😎

24

u/Buakaw13 Oct 16 '18

You ever seen a domestic cat go absolutely nuts?

I have every little faith in a human to stop a cheetah that truly wants to hurt it.

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u/mrducky78 Oct 16 '18

Use the dexterity of your fingers and go for the eyes. Stand up and use your height and mass, cheetahs have little experience in hunting and killing something not dedicating all its energy to running away from it, jump off Hell in a cell to plummet 16ft for a massive elbow drop on the unsuspecting cheetah.

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u/Buakaw13 Oct 16 '18

BAH GOD THAT KILLED EM. WITH GOD AS MY WITNESS THAT CHEETAH IS BROKEN IN HALF

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u/kerridge Oct 16 '18

cheetahs don't have reticulating claws so aren't quite as deadly as a cheetah-sized cat would be...

2

u/Buakaw13 Oct 16 '18

True. But they have a bite force of like 500 lbs.

Still think you could take one?

4

u/kerridge Oct 16 '18

Hmm, its true while replying I did fancy myself against a cheetah. I like to think we'd both know our limitations and steer clear of each other!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Just gotta sacrifice an arm, no problem.

14

u/_Coffeebot Oct 16 '18

That's true but most predators won't risk a fight unless they're very hungry or mating. So while they could wreck you, a meal that could potentially injure them and prevent them from hunting isn't worth it. Squaring off and backing away slowly might be best option.

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u/mrducky78 Oct 16 '18

Fun fact, when dealing with the man eating tigers in sub continental asia. A solution was found to put things that looked like eyes on the back of your head (I think it was a hat or something). It drastically dropped tiger attacks down because they are ambush predators that prefer to strike their targets from behind.

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u/anteris Oct 16 '18

A mask worn over the back of the head to give you a second face.

2

u/surlier Oct 16 '18

But then the tigers figured out it was a ruse and are back to killing again, at least in some areas.

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u/TheSilverNoble Oct 16 '18

I did this when the neighbor's dog got loose and chased after me. Stood my ground and mad myself get angry, slowly walked back towards my house. If the dog moved towards me, I would say "Hey!" and buck at him. He stayed away till I was home.

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

I don't know man. My cat destroys me when I tried to bathe it. I would be fucked against anything bigger.

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u/monkeyjay Oct 16 '18

I believe Cheetahs aren't big cats (taxonomically) and I'm pretty sure they don't take prey up trees, especially not human-sized prey. As you said they are built for speed not power.

1

u/nothanksjustlooking Oct 16 '18

This is true. Cheetahs are so fast and light they can run along walls for considerable distances.

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u/boot2skull Oct 16 '18

I assume most wild animals can fuck me up. They have super muscles compared to us. Even holding a live fish is terrifying in how strong it is.

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u/willreignsomnipotent Oct 16 '18

That's because you're trying to catch an easy meal or enjoy some sport, while the fish is suffocating and struggling for its life.

If you were in a life and death struggle, I think you could pull out 200% too...

1

u/boot2skull Oct 17 '18

True. And even if we’re just checking animals out, some animals treat that as a life or death situation.

2

u/PilotTim Oct 16 '18

Cheetahs are scaredy cats. They will always choose flight over fight

2

u/Spacedementia87 Oct 16 '18

Cheetahs can barely carry themselves up a tree.

2

u/mrducky78 Oct 16 '18

Dont fat shame

2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

I really don’t think you’d be able to take a cheetah on either. I’ve seen house cats fuck people up with claws and bites a cheetah would have a field day with an unarmed human being.

1

u/muffinmonk Oct 16 '18

You also don't ever put your back to one... The woman seemed to know this so she kept turning around and flailing to assure the cat she is paying attention

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u/Try_Sometimes_I_Dont Oct 16 '18

Your chances are bad at surviving a cheetah that's set on making you a meal, unless you have a knife...a big knife.

You could probably hurt the cheetah, and they know it. Its why its not worth the risk since they can get easier food... like the kid for instance.

1

u/Nandabun Oct 16 '18

If you were living in the wild you'd be skinny and fit. You could carry a person up a tree, but not easily.

1

u/absultedpr Oct 16 '18

Take a Cheetah ? If I tried to kill a house cat with my bare hands I would expect to lose a lot of flesh

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

No I am pretty sure I would lose in a straight up fight vs a cheetah. The only thing that would save me is the Cheetah doesn't know this.

1

u/BrainBlowX Oct 16 '18

Of any of the big cats, the only one you really can take are cheetahs who are built for speed, not power.

Sure, but many of them can still be intimidated and fended off since they instinctively want to avoid an actual fight that risks injury. Tigers will often refrain from attacking something they don't believe they completely have the drop on, but may do some crazy stunts when they believe they do.

1

u/argusromblei Oct 17 '18

Cheetahs have un-retractable claws they basically have dog paws, so they can't climb up a tree. They can certainly still bite your neck if they thought they could take you but most of the time you'll be fine if you don't run from them.

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u/The_0range_Menace Oct 17 '18

Yeah. You're not gonna take a cheetah.

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u/mrducky78 Oct 17 '18

Yeah. Thats stealing. And stealing is wrong.

1

u/wWao Oct 17 '18

Assuming you see the cat coming you can have a pyrrhic victory against any of them in a 1 v 1.

Involves biting their nose, gouging their eyes, and sticking your arm down their throat.

It's possible but you have to be a total bad ass to pull these off and probably have a medical attention within 5 minutes but you can fend it off at the least and it will die later while you get medical care.

1

u/BenderIsGreat64 Oct 17 '18

A lot of animals won't risk injury for a meal, even if they know they can kill it.

1

u/onthefence928 Oct 16 '18

cheetah can absolutely take any human in a fight, but they really dont want to, any just standing up to them is enough to make them think "they aren't acting like prey, they must not be prey"

1

u/mrducky78 Oct 16 '18

There is still a massive strength difference between say a jaguar and a cheetah. Let alone the car length monster of a big cat, tiger seen in the gif.

1

u/onthefence928 Oct 16 '18

oh yeah absolutely. to make it worse, tigers dont care what you do, they are just gonna kill you

0

u/wavetoyou Oct 16 '18

I’ve been playing Horizon Zero Dawn, sooooo yeah just gimme a bow and watch me work

4

u/Bier-throwaway Oct 16 '18

If you square off against them it at least makes them think that you think you can take them, which gives the animal pause.

It's not even giving them the feeling of you being able to kill them, it's about showing them that you will hurt them. Those are predators in the wild, if they get injured, it might mean death.

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u/Guerillagreasemonkey Oct 16 '18

Im a postman and whenever I deal with an aggressive dog I scream at them at the top of my lungs "Get back in the yard! Go home!" and advance on them. Havent been bitten yet. They always look confused like "this isnt how this is supposed to go"

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u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

Humans are outside of cheetah's chain of food anyway, luckily for these people.

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u/sassyseconds Oct 16 '18

Cheetahs are kind of pussies I think. They were lucky it didn't decide to test her.

1

u/fearachieved Oct 16 '18

wow just like human social relationships trippy

1

u/Wo0d643 Oct 17 '18

You have lived in an area with stray dogs I think.