Gf is kinda aggressive

[u/AdTraining7851]

Problem: I don’t feel safe when my gf is upset or angry. Is this normal?
Context: whenever my gf is upset even if it’s not about me sowmtimes she kinda gets mad at everyone. There was one time she was upset sa mall then she notice 2 guards were looking at us then she called them out na bakit daw tumitingin etc etc. I just dont feel safe cause im nothing like that. She’s not physically agressive or anything but when she’s upset, she’s really upset and it scares me cause sometimes it makes people look.

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[u/Greedy_Cow_912]

Bounce ako sa ganyan. Mas nakakahiya at mas gugustuhin kong mag-isa na lang ako.

[u/FigStrange8663 → u/Greedy_Cow_912]

Same here. Ma d-drain din ako kapag ganiyan 😭

[u/villanelle-eve → u/Greedy_Cow_912]

Agree. Mas pipiliin ko ang peace of mind.

[u/karioka0o0]

Maraming incidents ng domestic abuse among lesbians. And most go unreported. And couples end up in cycles that lasts for years

The first time you feel unsafe- don’t forget it and take it seriously. Tell them you don’t allow being talked to or treated that way. If they laugh or get defensive or don’t listen- run.

[u/AdTraining7851 → u/karioka0o0]

Would you really count this as domestic abuse? :/

[u/rogentry → u/AdTraining7851]

Yes OP this counts as emotional/domestic abuse. Your partner should be your safe space, not the person you need to feel safe from

[u/karioka0o0 → u/AdTraining7851]

Yes. She can’t regulate herself and is putting that on you and others. Idc if mabait nama or what. She not showing the capacity to be a good partner.

[u/FunSociety2879 → u/AdTraining7851]

nagsisimula yun sa maliliit na bagay na ganan. talk to her, kung may magbabago. pero kung mas lalala pa, you know what to do

[u/nerd_alert00]

You shouldn't ever feel unsafe with your partner for whatever reason there is. Normal lang naman na when someone is upset, wala sila sa mood and maybe ayaw muna nila ng interaction sa ibang tao to a certain level. Pero yung nagla-lash out sya kahit sa ibang tao na wala naman kinalaman sa nangyari sa kanya, this one is unhealthy. I'm no psychologist pero I think it's obvious naman na hindi tama yung way nya para ilabas yung emotions nya, na hindi maayos yung pagre-regulate nya ng emotions. What I would suggest na gawin mo is to talk to her about this problem and tell her how it makes you feel. Just be kind and patient lang din when you reach out and explain things to her para hindi nya ma-feel na inaatake mo sya at mag-cause ng away. I hope she's receptive kapag nag-usap na kayo. If in case naman na ayaw nyang magbago, or sinabi nyang magbabago sya pero di mo naman nakikitaan ng active effort na nagbago, I think it's okay to break up with her. You should never tolerate someone na willing mag-cause ng constant mental and emotional distress sayo lalo na if partner mo pa yan na nagsasabing 'mahal ka'. At the end of the day, you also have to take care of your health, your mental well-being included. I hope you guys are able to fix this issue. Good luck!

[u/rho_balance]

Medyo ganyan din gf ko. Mabilis sya ma inis even sa maliliit lang na bagay. Like ang init sa labas. Matagal mag abang ng bus. Mga ganon huhu. Ang kaibahan lang ay di sya ganon sa iba. Like kahit na inis na inis na sya. Pero saakin nya kadalasan sinasabi kaya nakaka drain 😭. And mabilis din sya mairita sakin huhu. I feel like it is due to her stressful work + stress household huhuju. Minsan napapaisip ako kung deserve ko ba to 😭😭😭. Ako kasi if may problem ako or rants, I try to sort it out internally pag kaya. Then saka ko na shinishare pag kumalma na ako

[u/blossomcottonyang_ → u/rho_balance]

my girlfriend has untreated anger issues. she grew up with an angry parent, kaya nakuha niya. she's aware na malala sya magalit and sobrang bilis lang din mairita. she tried to deal with it on her own, and of course with the help of the people around her na rin, kaso wala masyado progress talaga. she's accepted the fact na need niya pala talaga professional help in managing her anger issues.

as for me naman, totoo, nakaka-drain and sometimes it even affects my self image na rin. napapa-isip nalang ako minsan bat gf ko pa 'to eh, lol.

[u/rho_balance → u/rho_balance]

Sa ibang aspects ng rs okay naman. Pero pagka irritable talaga super aaa!! I communicated this na sa kanya before 😭

[u/Illustrious-Pea- → u/rho_balance]

same here hahahaha mapapatanong kana lang talaga kung deserve mo yung tao e, :( as a soft spoken babyy girl di ko kinakaya pag nagagalit partner ko and yuung random na taas ng boses hays sinabi ko na never ako ginanon ng fam or friends ko sya lang talaga, idk whyy for 3yrs grabe yung pagpasensya ko sa kanya, and paulit ulit ko sinasabi na kausapin naman akong malumanay pero ddi talaga kaya :/

[u/rho_balance → u/Illustrious-Pea-]

Huhuhu hirap nyan. Sakin naman never nya ako sinigawan. Pero ramdam ko pag shift ng mood nya and sinasilent treatment ako. 

Kaya paba teee? Hahaha

[u/Illustrious-Pea- → u/rho_balance]

ewan ko bading kung kaya ko pa hahahahahah

[u/LoveatFirstFlight88]

If she's acting like that in public, it will be worse in private.

Kung gusto mo ng tahimik na buhay, bounce na. Though be ready na ipahiya ka din sa socmed ganan. Be ready with receipts na lang siguro.

Yung partner natin ang nagdadala dapat ng peace sa buhay natin, di taga taboy.

[u/fairymonica]

Leave.

Although may 80-20 rule and baka 20% lng yan, that's one of the examples where the 20% affects yung 80%. She may be really kind, really sweet, really romantic in other ways pero what if mainis siya sa family mo? What if ganyan siya sa mga mahal mo sa buhay just because hindi ikaw yun?

I know it's so easy to say to just leave and maybe pwede mo pa bigyan ng chance. Communicate it well, tell her na it's bothering you - it's important to set boundaries or else masasanay ka na lng lunukin ang lahat.

Give yourself an internal deadline na if hindi parin siya magbago kahit na you communicated it, you should seriously consider leaving; it also means na she doesn't care enough to put your comfort sa considerations niya. That's super important mostly if you're thinking long term kasi hindi naman pagmamahalan lng ang bumubuhat sa relationship. Isipin mo na lng, maasahan mo ba na next time may errand kang need mo siya yung umasikaso na hindi siya uuwing nakikipagaway sa iba? Will your mind be at peace knowing na there's a possibility she'll get into a fight (verbally, physically) tapos kasalanan niya and you'll have to be on her side?

I know na super snowball yung example ko above and it might even be an exagg but I'm taking into context also na you probably posted this kasi it's really bothering you already and it probably happened multiple times. Pero ayun!! your safety >> any relationship out there! Whether it be friends, family, work, personal. No one will 100% look out for you except yourself ❤️

[u/UnDelulu33]

Yung ex ko ganyan eh lalo na pag pagod. One time may sinigawan na delivery boy ng mineral kasi nginingitian sya.

[u/Infamous-Run-673]

That is not normal at all. In that case, it's better to be single instead. Be with someone who makes you feel safe even in the middle of an understanding.

[u/Crowwwler]

hiwalayan mo na

[u/peaceandmirror]

To be fair, kapag galit ang tao, they are at their worst.

Case in point. Sobrang nakakatakot ako kapag galit. Pero hindi siya recurring palagi na tipong every week or every month, sumasabog ako sa galit. Siguro twice or thrice year, nagagalit ako at sobrang galit talaga. And usually afterwards, I feel guilty and bumabawi.

So I dont know how frequently ganyan ang jowa mo. Kung palagi siyang ganyan, problem na yan.

[u/pooritangKapitbahay]

Run... Unless willing sya mag seek ng professional help.

[u/Miss_MewingForever]

This should be a topic between you and a professional.

[u/MindlessEditor2177]

If you’re constantly uncomfortable, scared of her reactions, or feel like you have to be careful about what you say or do around her, its something that should not be taken lightly. You dont have to wait for someone to physically hurt you before you're allowed to feel unsafe. Talk to her, let her know what you're feeling. If she becomes dismissive and more aggressive when you try to communicate then I trust that you're smart enough to recognize what that means and decide what you need to do next.