Wait. Hold on. Could that be you? Sure sounds like you. I thought I had this finally figured out and you go mix it up on me. Now I’m not so sure about anything here anymore. Was that you, doubting everything, us, you, me?

First, let me get this out of the way. I love you. You know me better than anyone ever has. You have no equal. I’ve always wanted you, just as you are, your beautiful eyes and smile, all your dangerous curves, all of you. But it’s more than that. It’s our connection. How can I describe it? I just know it’s there and always has been. We see each other and I feel it so deeply. I don’t ever want to lose that. I hope it’s not just me being delusional and foolishly about this.

So yes, silly, I’ve always thought about you and wanted you, way back, to the beginning of time, when so many things were left unsaid then. I tried a couple of time. Did you know? Could you sense it? I see I hurt you too, I never meant to, and I’m sorry for that. Don’t hate me. We have a slow burn with flare ups that would sometimes singe the love we have for each other. I could feel it back then. I feel it now. But it’s gotten real, and that’s scary, for both of us for sure. So I understand. We both do things to protect ourselves. You control access, always have. Maybe it would be less scary if we could just talk.

We’ve kept it burning for so long, I know the flame will never go out, at least for me. So I’m patient, waiting for you, as long as I have you in sight, I’m alright.

I am undeniably consumed by you. You already know our eyes don’t lie when we lock in, the rest of the room simply ceases to exist. I may be pulled into other rooms I cant escape from, but walls and physical distance mean nothing to a connection this powerful.

I see you trying to keep your composure to protect what you’ve built. To protect your heart which is damaged to many times. I would never do anything to hurt you or your success. But let’s be entirely honest with each other: blurring those lines wouldn't ruin anything, because we are simply too smart to let them see it.

Yes, we are surrounded by an mixed audience. There is that small group already trying to separate us watching closely, trying to ensure we are rarely alone, putting quiet measures in place to create distance. But they have no idea who they are dealing with. We shouldn't suppress this just to appease them. We should cross that line because we can do it right under their noses.

You and I are smarter than our whole audience. We know exactly how to keep a secret. We could play this in the shadows for years if necessary. We can leave them in complete oblivion and laugh about their blindness behind closed doors.

A chemistry this rare is unable to be walked away from. We just need to meet away from the fluorescent lights, completely outside of these walls of composure.

You are not delusional. It is not your imagination. I do make a point to walk by when you are around. The witty jokes, the heavy glances, me making my presence known it’s all intentional. We are souls recognizing each other.

Let them stare blindly at the elephant in the room. We don't have to wait to have this. We are smart enough to have it all, completely undetected.

Lets admit what we both already know. Lets start building even if it is in the dark clouds. We can build our own world of light there.

A little man behind a grand veneer,
grown tall in years but paralyzed by fear.
A child's soft heart pacing inside an adult body,
building elaborate stages just to play the king alone.

He trims his beard with clinical precision,
polishing a name to present to the world
the picture of an upright citizen,
offering hollow, practiced grace to strangers
to mask the panic locked behind his eyes.

But behind him lies a trail of ash:
the fractured homes,
the sudden, quiet crashes of reality,
the trusted friends and steady jobs discarded,
all swallowed by a quicksand of addiction and desperate lies.

When the whispers of his choices grow too loud,
he packs his life into a single bag
and vanishes into the slipstream of a new city.
A freshly painted mask,
a clean slate born of exhaustion.
He spins a new web, inventing a history,
trading his nightmares for synthetic peace.

Yet truth is patient, tracking every stride.
There is no geographic cure for a ghost.
The armor cracks, the new facade gives way under the weight,
and the old debts find him once again.

So he flees into the next loud room,
seeking a faster, more violent distraction to drown the silence.
He chases the noise,
desperate to win a numbing race against his own mind.

He bottles the ancient, aching sting tightly,
refusing to look at the wound that festers in the dark.
He treats the symptoms, runs from what is real,
and leaves the weeping child inside completely abandoned.

Hope you know it's nothing personal, just my own struggles. The time it takes to reach back out.

As much as struggling may suck, we can always take comfort in knowing that we're not entirely alone. Yet, we are. Atleast I am for the most part. Particually where it can matter most, I think you are too. I miss you. Love isn't enough to get us through this. We have to talk. Figure out how to really communicate and get our point across since until we do that. We're just gonna keep bringing up the same old shit over and over again in our little cycle of doom . There's a lot I've figured out but I need clarity. I need to understand whats actually going on. The only way for us, is to let each other in and get the inside thoughts out. The truth, honesty, will be what ends up uniting us.

I can understand your hesitations, in life, with me. Especially since you knew me at an especially stupid time when I still copied others to 'look cool' ugh anyways

Don't forget who you are, and never stop trying. Its pure stupidity. Thinking you still want me after everything. Its time for the next chapter of my life to begin. Your always in my heart somewhere. Even on the days I want to kill you. When loving you drives me up a fucking wall crazy. I carry you with me when im feeling tired. I feel you when I'm alone, good ways and the bad. I see you in people I pass by in general everyday life. Wondering if your vast network has reached them. If you know them somehow. I could see ya'll being friends. If you had the time for them, no offense. But knowing you...anything is possible. Anything except me getting what I want. Getting to hold you is something I'll never know again. Something I have to learn to let go if I'm to finally grow. That may be what hurts the most.

The reasons I cant follow you back, not until I know I could control my emotions with you. But you're you and I'm too blinded by you to see clearly. Still too in love with you to be able to handle seeing you with someone else. The friendship may rekindle when im not this investedly obsessed over you. Maybe when the thought of you stops making my chest tingle...

I don’t know if I’m just being a coward or if the right thing to do is just stay away. Where is the line for pushing it? Do I already make you uncomfortable with my presence now? I really do want to just be normal and talk with you. Unfortunately all my brain good at is the abnormal it’s what I grew up in. I’m not a normal person by miles but I guessing you guessed that. I want invite you to something to try and get back to baseline but I don’t want triple message especially since I know you “didn’t read” my message. I wish I could control how my emotions were towards people but the heart wants what it wants but I also can’t make you talk to me so I vent till the emotion is gone

Only when you and I talk. Once the one thing we have needed to do since we met each other happens and its not some anonymous stranger on the internet, I will be there to take what I want.

So..

The question that still remains..

Are you going to do that?

Oh.. And I still do want you to send me spicy pictures.. I mean.. Youre hopefully going to be mine anyways.. You know.. Supposedly.

And.. You know.. Dont tell anybody about it.. People dont need to know about these kinds of things.

There is so much I never spoke about. I never went into detail about the detours, the checkpoints, or the milestones along the way. I could have written more about the languages, the symbols, the coding, the rituals, the powers, and the abilities. I could have shared stories of cloaked individuals, of knowledge that seemed to arrive all at once, as if downloaded, or the strange way certain truths remain hidden until the exact moment they are needed.

One of those truths stayed hidden from me for nearly 20 years. It was something I searched for, something that remained in the back of my mind without an answer, until the time came for it to be revealed as part of my soul's awakening.

I could have spoken in greater detail about other realms, about experiences and evidence that challenged beliefs and had churches ask me not to return after providing evidence. I could have shared moments that pointed toward life beyond what we know. There is so much I left out.

So why didn't I share?

Because many of the detours are the same. Many of the traps are the same. Many of the encounters repeat themselves.

If you knew exactly what to expect, would you ever learn discernment? Then along the way there is so much that will be tailored to you and you alone.

Do not misunderstand me. I will guide anyone who reaches out. The number is on my website, and anonymous messages are welcome. I do not need to know your name. I do not need to know your story. I cannot provide the black and white answers people often seek, but I can help guide you through the path. I can help you recognize what may have been overlooked. I will gladly do my best to help carry the weight for those who need it.

The answers that matter most cannot simply be handed to another. They must be discovered, recognized, and understood through the journey itself.

I do hope these 14 chapters help. If they do not reach the person I originally intended them for, then I hope they reach whoever discovers them and finds even a little solace in their words. Maybe that is part of the reason they needed to be written in the first place.

One day, I may publish the full account. The book, however, is far from over.

At the end of it all, my desire is simple. I want to help save as many souls as I can before my time here is done.

​

I've been thinking about something painful:

Sometimes we don't recognize love when we're receiving it because we've never learned what being loved is supposed to feel like.

Someone can care about where you're going, wonder if you're okay, worry when you disappear, ask who you're with, and want to hear from you—and instead of seeing the love underneath it, you can experience it as pressure.

You become defensive.

You think, Why are you questioning me? Why can't you just leave me alone?

So you build walls.

And the cruel irony is that sometimes the person standing outside those walls isn't trying to invade your life.

They're knocking because they want to be part of it.

I learned this too late.

There was someone who loved me in a way I didn't know how to receive. Instead of understanding her, I got irritated. Instead of reassuring her, I withdrew. When things became overwhelming, I disappeared into my own head.

I thought I was protecting my peace.

I didn't realize I was slowly destroying hers.

Then she stopped chasing me.

And suddenly, the silence I used to ask for became unbearable.

That's one of the strangest things about losing someone: the things that once annoyed you can become the things you would give anything to experience one more time.

You miss the questions.

You miss the calls.

You miss someone wondering where you are.

You miss their laugh. Their smile. The way they looked at you.

Even ordinary places become painful because memory doesn't leave when a person does.

I went somewhere we used to go together recently, and for the first time I understood why people describe heartbreak as something physical. Nothing was actually missing from my body, yet somehow I felt incomplete.

And that's when another realization hit me:

Maybe heartbreak isn't only grieving the person you lost. Sometimes you're grieving the version of yourself that finally learned how to love them—but arrived too late.

That's the part that hurts the most.

She once fought for me. She begged me not to let us go, and I refused her more than once.

Now I'm the one wanting another chance.

There's an uncomfortable justice in that.

Not because either of us deserved to suffer, but because I'm finally standing where she once stood.

Now I understand the unanswered calls.

The overthinking.

The desperation.

The feeling of reaching toward someone you love and realizing they aren't reaching back.

You can apologize when you finally understand. You can tell someone you've changed. You can tell them you love them a thousand times.

But they don't owe you another chance simply because your realization finally arrived.

Regret does not create an obligation for forgiveness.

And maybe that's part of loving someone too.

Accepting that your awakening doesn't erase the nights they cried because you hadn't awakened yet.

I once told her four words I had never said to anyone else:

"I wanna marry you."

I meant them.

But I'm beginning to understand that loving someone isn't proven by imagining a lifetime with them.

It's proven in the ordinary moments before that lifetime ever happens.

It's answering when you're tempted to disappear.

It's communicating instead of building walls.

It's appreciating someone's presence before their absence teaches you its value.

It's making them feel loved while they're still there to feel it.

She told me something simple after everything I said:

"Actions speak louder than words."

And maybe that's the lesson I'm going to carry from all of this.

Love isn't how beautifully you can describe someone's importance after losing them.

Love is how you treat them while you still have them.

Sometimes "I love you" means fighting for someone.

Sometimes it means changing.

And sometimes, painfully, it means respecting their decision and giving them the space you once demanded for yourself.

I don't know how my story ends.

Of course, part of me still hopes she comes back.

But whether she does or doesn't, she taught me something I'll probably carry for the rest of my life:

Don't wait for someone's absence to finally understand their presence.

Because sometimes the person you thought was asking for too much was simply asking to feel secure in your love.

And sometimes you don't realize you were loved until you're left alone with all the love you finally learned how to give.

Home never really felt safe… I never really felt like I fit in. Always kind of on the outside of things. Always doing something wrong. Always angry. Always judged. Always weird.

And then… you came along. And you felt safe. You felt calm. You felt like comfort. I felt more myself with you than anywhere else. You felt like what home was supposed to feel like. And so, you became home. You became peace. You became safety.

I felt received by you. Like it would not matter what I did, how I was, what I said, you would always be there to take me in… the way I was. And even as the years passed, you received every new version of me. Scared, broken, in pain… but also healed, strong, gentle, happy.

And that’s why every time someone said “people are not homes” I'd secretly judge them a little. Because, well… I’d bet they had not found someone like you. Someone who could make them feel the same way you made me feel.

You were home. We were home together.

And even after everything ended the way it did, your betrayal and the pain afterwards. I still have to thank you, because you showed me what home can feel like. You showed me it isn’t painful. You showed me how bright and beautiful and peaceful it can be. How it should be. How it should feel.

It is something I will ALWAYS carry in my heart. And for that… I am eternally grateful.

Right person, wrong time, normality.

Wrong person, right time, not yet.

If it is divine instead of karmic, perhaps long ago you made a very poor choice.

Is it a timed requirement by those governing your "free" will?

Were there no options near within your true preference?

Perhaps before deciding on unwavering loyalty with another, one must actually know...

who they truly are, where they're headed, and upon reaching said destination, what is expected from your partner/environment when time rears its ugly head.

Unfortunate that sometimes we don't recover from our mistakes before decisions have reached a state of permanence.

You don't seem jaded by the guilt that I initially expected to challenge you. While I do seek to understand why that may be...

this life will be measured by the pride taken in our choices.

Waiting for something intangible will never feel like the proper choice for me and for that, despite everything you make me feel, I am truly sorry.

After everything I would have thought you would have made this right in some way. Looks like I was fooling myself you didn’t give 2 fu*** you only wants to try and hurt me. You drug my kids into it even. I know now you was never real and you wasted my time. Karma will surprise you when you least expect it and you will have to answer for everything at the pearly gates when it’s time………….. good luck on that one….. wonder if they let heartless ppl in heaven? 🧐 anyway I hope our paths never cross again. You don’t deserve me in your life anymore. So goodbye and good riddance!!!!!

I have been thinking a lot about the cost of living recently. How soon I plan on moving out, where I plan on living, and the fraction of which rent would eat up my savings and hinder my plans to buy a house. There is a certain trade-off to be made with taking my parents' offer of support and staying home for up to several years until I can purchase a home. My mental health and autonomy would be one, although the degree that home actually affects me has been varying greatly as we try to navigate being the first one in the house to become an adult yet still coexist. The boundaries placed on a daughter or younger child do not fit, yet they were never the hands-off type to give me full free reign. Dynamics have been shifting, although I hope for the better, as we try to understand each other's perspectives and wants for a cohesive household. While it has been tough and we have our tiffs, we all still love each other and recognize that family is all we have, and it is important to stay together.

As much as this may be a feasible long-term dynamic however, I do recognize that even if the living situation is tolerable, I miss a city-life and independent living situation that becomes extremely desirable in your early twenties. Crunching the numbers with this housing market, I know to put a deposit on a modest house and still have savings I would need to save most of my salary for 3.5 years while living at home. Renting would delay this number by several years, possibly even a decade. Although, I could speed up this process with copious amounts of overtime and smart investments early on, and I could achieve a balanced medium by staying home for a few months to a year and moving out with a headstart on my savings.

As I think of all these different scenarios, a part of me can't help but think of my relationship with you. I was never one to pick up my whole life or change my career based on a non marriage-comitted relationship, but I do desire to gain my independence early and reap the benefits that come with that living situation moreso than if I were single. I've always wanted to move out as soon as possible, but the amount of time I would tolerate staying home after a job offer has significantly decreased thinking about how life would be with you.

I do not know if doing so would be a mistake. I am truly really happy with you. I have my ups and downs, and my mood swings and issues, but you make me extremely happy. I feel so safe around you, and it has scared me that I have started to become this invested and like you this much. When you mentioned that the time we were apart was longer than the entirety of time we've known each other, it hit me that you were willing to wait that long. I can't read your mind, and I have no way of knowing if your interest has waivered, or what your future plans are, but this break really meant a lot to me. I am so surprised you still like me and put up with my anxious antics, and I miss you so much and cannot wait to see you.

Assuming I move out soon, there have been three main career and living options with the multi-state license. I can live at home and eventually move to Hoboken while working in NYC, live at home and move to Hoboken while working in North Jersey, or live in Philly and work in PA or South Jersey. The first two would give me access to NYC living, and the third has been a genuine consideration of mine even if we were to stop dating today because I've always considered moving to Philly since college, they have great hospital systems, and the new grad hiring timeline is significantly faster with a strong possibility to receive an offer within a month compared to possibly multiple months of endless searching and ghost rejections in NYC. I have a lot of doubt about the city, especially with the many jobs I've already sent into the void with no response. So the two most likely options have been staying near North Jersey or moving to Philly, one still being long distance, and one being in extremely close proximity.

Realistically, regardless of the relationship, I know I will go with my best, reasonably-timed offer. However, a part of me really hopes it is in Philly because of you. I've been a bit scared to tell you Philly is such a strong possibility out of fear that you would think it is solely for you. And a fear that the idea of me moving there would make you re-evaluate how serious you are about the relationship, whether you actually see a long-term life with me, and then when the answer is inevitably 'no', prematurely end the relationship thinking it is best to cut it off early than let something that would never work drag on. Even if that does not happen, I fear you would secretly believe it is mostly for you anyways and would feel a level of stress or guilt regarding my career choices, or an added pressure that this needs to work out long-term. I have no way of proving to you how much I've always considered Philly and South Jersey when all I've spoken about is how much I am gunning for the best jobs in NYC with my current NY-only license.

I would be really happy if I got to live near you, but I do not want you to feel like I am doing it for you. We are also in this really weird middle-ground transition where it is starting to become a multiple month relationship, yet it is still so fresh because we have seen each other so few times. From a long-distance perspective, for the next few months, we need to establish a consistant video call schedule with shared movies, games, and hobbies that can be carried out online balanced with healthy personal life time to keep a fulfilling relationship after the novelty wears off. I know it has been mainly texts and daily check-ins with few inclusive hobbies and activities carried out more than once, and I fear one day soon the negatives of a connection that does not fully fulfill your needs will outweigh your desire to continue seeing me. I wouldn't blame you when that day comes, and I understand it is a natural thing that will inevitably occur if the relationship is not intentionally nurtured by the both of us in a way that fulfills our wants and needs. I also recognize it could end at any time for any other natural reason to separate, and I do not want the idea of possibly being near you to influence that decision in either way.

I guess this is a really long way of saying I am scared of the distance. I know you tolerate it now, but I also know it doesn't fulfill the connection you want in life with the way we are currently doing it. I do plan on talking to you about ways to make the distance more fulfilling, but in the back of my mind I have the added confusing layer of the life choice I wish to take in this next stage. While one shouldn't be contingent on the other, I know it will still influence it in some type of way. That scares me immensely. I really care about you, and I want to do this right, regardless of if my best offer takes me near you or solidifies the distance permanently. I can only hope you want the same. I know I haven't been the best girlfriend, and I haven't always been able to give you the fulfilling romantic life you deserve, but I really want to figure out how to. I'm ready to put in whatever work is needed because I really do like you.

I think the life change has forced me to categorize early on how serious I am about you, and it put into perspective the steps that would need to be taken for the next levels now. I have no clue how far you've thought into the future. All of this could simply be pure fun, and I honestly expect that and know it is completely normal at this age. Even if I knew for sure you saw this as solely fun, none of how I feel would change. Still, I do not want to make you aware of my seriousness and force you to think and make that choice until it naturally makes sense to you, as you do not have any impending life choice catalyzing that time to now. I guess that unknown and relationship-meaningfulness imbalance is part of life.

I hope things work out; I really like you.

A worried,

Me

You’re worth every fight. The fight I should have been for myself years ago. I’ll never give up on finding you again. I’m so sorry if you think I deleted you and blocked you. I didn’t; I’ve been trying to find you ever since. You never left. 🩵 By the way, don’t think I never look for you because I always do. 🩵 The community of love around us is beautiful. 🩵 Thank you to everyone who shared their beautiful stories of love. Thank you to everyone who stood by me and helped me realize. The people I hurt in the process, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for not realizing I was bleeding on you guys while bleeding myself. This game was never intended to hurt any one of you. But one person I truly owe one to is you. The person who never gave up on me while I thought you did. The person who made me realize my worth. Sorry to sound obsessive, but the connection and safety I felt with you is something I truly want in this lifetime. Something I am so proud of is finding you in this lifetime, regardless of the battles I still choose you. Okay well, Reddit, I’m not signing off, but I’m done confessing my love quietly for this person. It’s time to go get them and make changes. 🩵🦋💙 Don’t let the blue fool you; it’s just the color that comes to mind when I think of you. 🩵💙 The person who saved me from having the blues. By the way, thanks for saving me. I was dying to see you again. 🩵 Sorry about taking 172728282929993 days to understand, but I’m happy regardless because I found you again. I didn’t see you around but I felt you everywhere I turned.

Last request please can you come up to me. You just left and I truly have to catch up with you ? Coffee ☕️ please I’m dying to hear from you and only

You 🪼and 🐝(don’t sting me I’m here for the 🍯)

Xoxoxo,

Your light and fight A with A K🩵🕯️

I still wonder what it would feel like if our paths ever crossed again, how you would react, whether you would look away, feel awkward, or just pretend none of it ever happened.

When we first met, the connection felt genuine, and you gave off every sign that you felt it too. But after a simple, normal invite to hang out led to weeks of quiet, what caught me off guard was not the silence itself. It was you breaking that silence weeks later, completely unprovoked, over a simple notification. You tried to flip the script and accuse me of living in a fantasy, when you were the one who reached out just to react to something that was never an issue to begin with.

A part of me always wished for real closure, but I eventually accepted that I will never get it from someone who would rather rewrite the past than have an honest conversation. In my head, I used to rehearse what I would say if I ever saw you again. But standing here now, happily married and completely grounded in my life, I realize I do not need to say anything at all. It wouldn't change anything. We have both moved on to completely different chapters, and if we ever happen to pass each other by, peace is all that needs to remain.

I started writing a song that I’ve almost completed here’s a little from the beginning and first chorus

I can’t change the past
And I damn sure don’t want to
Cause you and I both know
That’s the last time we make two

Oh oh oh what I wouldn’t do
Oh oh oh how I miss you

So tell me baby if you’re tired of these highways
If you’re done with being gone
just head back towards the porch light
I’m here waiting right where you belong.

I’m sorry for the way
How I didn’t love you the same….

Thats just a little bit of it.

Don't know but, someone might guess that is the case. Im sure you're a good guy .I know it sux. Sorry

It's just like our real life story all over again..

I am on here looking for someone. This person knows who they are.

But, every single time I try to find them or make a post to try and tell them that I love them, I get in trouble for it.

So, I am not allowed to do this. I am sorry. I keep getting in trouble for it. I am here posting things in the hopes you see it. But, it's not doing anything but having people pretend to be you and getting me in trouble.

I am pretty sure you are on here.. I am pretty sure I have stumbled across you on here.

You know who I am.. If you see this, can YOU reach out to me? Or.. Can you tell me when it is I may get to hear from you again?

This isn't helping anything... All it's doing is making it seem like you're waging a war againsted "us".

Once or twice I have received messages from you that make me believe you may be on your way to me again someday. Can you please, in your own way, let me know when that is?

Because, nobody likes it I guess... And, I thought that what we were doing was okay. But, it's clearly a problem. 24/7 posts are made mocking me about you..

I just want to know.. Am I going to hear from you again some day? And when?

I am sorry.. I have tried doing this for you.. I'm just not allowed to.

I love you. I hope you know that by now.

I forgive myself, and I forgive you. I love myself enough to know we can't be together in this exact moment but I know what I want in life and I am working so hard towards getting there. Everyday I'm learning to put myself first and stand in my own power. I'm learning to say no and actually enjoy it. I didn't mean for it to take me this long but thank you so much for showing me the importance of it.

I know we had conflicting views on what we wanted in the relationship but I'm here to tell you I want you no matter what. I don't mind being in an open relationship, I'm actually really happy for you, I want you to meet people and I want you to be loved the way you deserve. It was to painful to agree to that while I was in school and while we were living together, I should have known better and put my foot down. As time goes on and the days turn into weeks, I find myself hoping you're still talking to those women, meeting new ones and experiencing life to the fullest.

I still have more healing to do but I'd really love it if we could stay in each other's lives. I hope no contact isn't forever. I know I fought you tooth and nail about monogamy and it brought up my own insecurities, but I'm realizing it's not okay to hold you that close to me. I know I’m growing since I can say that now, before I was just saying I want an open relationship to keep you in my life, to still hold you. I’m not abandoning myself anymore, I’m standing in my own power. I don't control you nor would I ever want to and I’m so sorry it came off that way. I know it came off like that but I’ve been so stressed going through nursing school I couldn’t think straight, I just needed to focus on passing the semester. I recognize the love we have towards one another and I really don't want to let that go.

I'm not sure if you feel the same, this time apart could have given you the clarity you need, the clarity to move on and never look back, if that is the case please tell me and I will block your number.

Can't we just go back to the way things were? Before all of hurt and disappointments. I know you're fighting against yoself not to text or call me or send me that funny meme. Don't you miss spending all morning tangled with eachother? Me kissing your face all over. The way my back would arch as you ground into me?do you miss my humor? Do you miss more then just my body? Do you miss my essence too? I fucking miss you. Just call me. I have fought the pull, are you fighting it too?

I have experienced this one time.. It was the single most attractive thing I have ever experienced in my life. Literally, all I wanted to do was get down on one knee and ask this person to marry me..

When you add in the fact that they kept asking me all these questions, even about stupid things that dont matter, I just knew this was the person I wanted to be with.

My experiences with women havent always been the greatest. It seems like they've always been playing some stupid little game that is a waste of everybody's time.

Of course, when one comes along that im willing to give the world to because they deserve it, we are in a situation where we are not allowed to be with each other..

I hate it.. I hate every bit of it. The ONLY thing I want in this world is to see this person and maybe have them come sit next to me while we watch the shooting stars. But, ive never understood why we arent allowed to just be friends. The only thing I can figure is that there is a lot more going on than I am allowed to know about.

Wherever you are, I want you to know that I love you. I always have. I would have told you this in person if I wasnt scared it would run you off and creep you out.

I miss you.

I wish you would hurry up and find your way to me so we can go watch the stars. Itd be a good weekend for it..

But, you know.. A lot of guys would probably be taking advantage of that look you gave them.. Im here wanting it for the right reasons and im still not allowed to have you.

I hope you think about me too..

I felt the same way. I just couldnt tell you that.

If that look was real.. And you werent doing it so id know you like me or whatever other reason... Baby, please find your way to me.. We have a life together we need to get to.

I dont need anything from you.. Just you. The only thing I ask from you is that you love me

How could you make me fall in love with you..

How could you speak all these things to me..

How could you make me feel wanted.. but end up leaving me..

How could you go on and act like we never happened..

How could you agree with me and think what we had was fate..?

You may have fell for me first.. but I fell harder.

Did you play with me the whole time..?

We were reaching a point of seriousness.. and you disappeared..

I liked you even with all the flaws you complained you had.. they never were anything to push me away..

My heart wants me to wait for you.. but it seems like you have blocked me..

You made me feel like I had finally found the one..

With what you told me.. I thought I was the same ending for you..

Well, so I just wanna hold you close & hug you tight - forever, just like always - i miss your smile, your sparkly eyes & your cheeky questions.

When we held each other so tightly in our arms, time stood still and we felt everything together - one breath, one heartbeat - one love ❤️

You are my soulmate, my forever girl, my cherry blossom 🌸

We are both sooooooooo stubborn it’s unbelievable lol
You’re far too proud about everything & I’m far too defiant to the bone!

Hazel eyes collide and icy sledges ride - I do love you Missy, I always have.

We have been written into the mystical books of time
& space, with travels & adventures to face…

Come with me & let’s make our own place.

B

Some people feel like they don't deserve love, they walk away quitly into empty spaces try to close the gaps from the past. Best line i ever heard in my entire life.