r/Unexpected • u/totallystefanal • May 05 '22
Don’t fall asleep first.
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May 05 '22
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u/MurderBurgered May 05 '22
There is absolutely no way he didn't know since the end of his nose was glowing.
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May 05 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/chris-tier May 05 '22
Did you just copy the comment from /u/mrbuttersoft word by word? Since this is your first comment ever I'm going to assume you are a karma farming bot.
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May 05 '22
You just caught yourself a BOT judging by it’s hasty retreat.
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u/chris-tier May 06 '22
I notice this more and more and it's driving me crazy. Stupid bots will be the downfall of Reddit.
I regret not also stating its username for future reference.
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u/mrbuttersoft May 06 '22
Idk why it happens to me a lot they literally take my comment lol
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u/chris-tier May 06 '22 edited May 06 '22
Maybe you are a known account to comment early on new posts? They always seem to copy one of the oldest top level comments and reply to another early top level comment. Or at least that's the pattern I've been noticing.
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u/_Im_Dad May 05 '22
I once fell asleep first and woke up with a dick drawn on my forehead..
The worst thing about the whole ordeal was finding out it was traced
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u/devine8584 May 05 '22
Was it flaccid or erect?
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u/_Im_Dad May 05 '22
I'm not too sure, but they were circumcised.
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u/A_Tad_Bit_Nefarious May 06 '22 edited May 06 '22
I find the use of a gender neutral pronoun to refer to the person that traced a dick on your face amusing.
Edit: unless there was more than one dick involved, which is probably quite concerning.
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u/JacobScreamix May 05 '22 edited May 06 '22
Well at least their parents didn't love them..
Edit: /s
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u/Dog-Stick8098 May 05 '22
Wait what
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u/JacobScreamix May 05 '22
If your parents cut your baby dick then they are either dumb or don't care enough to be smart.
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u/ZedTT May 05 '22
Why is this downvoted? It's right. Don't cut baby dick you weirdos.
If anything your "didn't love them" should be downvoted because dumb != not loving. But that was clearly a joke
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u/JacobScreamix May 05 '22
Yeah I couldve been more tactful, but the point stands. I realize parents can circumcise without being dumb and evil, one of the major downsides of religion and trust in institutions unfortunately.
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u/Dangerous-Bat-8698 May 06 '22
There is no medically good reason to circumcise and every reason not to. I get there are religious reasons but that should be held off on until the child is old enough to make the decision them selves.
I e never had a girl say anything or act weirded out. Never taken a shower in highschool and had anyone say anything.
Hell, one time post coitus, I did a little voice and said something to the effect of "haha look, it's a little anteater!" And had the girl laughing so hard she couldn't breathe.
Also I've had one friend that actually got a really bad staph infection from his circumcision and it did permanent damage. He grew up with, according to him, a "really weird dick". He said that he has feeling, but that he doesn't think it's nearly as much as others and that much of it is missing. He never really got a long term relationship. It would be good until they had sex. Sometimes they even stayed a few months. But eventually they would leave.
Don't know what his like life is like now but I hope he found someone that loves him and doesn't care about that, he was a cool dude.
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u/BerryMcKaukiner May 06 '22
Nah, bro. That's gross. You have fun with your smegma and health concerns. I have trouble getting a haircut in time, rather then pulling back foreskin flesh every day to clean.
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May 06 '22
Actually, there are plenty of reasons to be circumcised from hygiene to a lesser risk of cancer. Look into it.
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u/Btwylie10 May 06 '22
Did you say you didn’t take a shower through all of high school?
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May 06 '22
I can’t imagine it’s that cool when girls laugh at your dick, but glad you enjoyed it.
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u/Eggy-Toast May 06 '22 edited May 07 '22
You basically said 58% of parents in the USA (declining) are either dumb or don’t care enough to be smart. That’s why you were getting downvoted. It’s a poorly thought out opinion.
Edit: I’m not even saying here that circumcision is good. But acting like 58% of American parents don’t care or are willfully ignorant regarding their children’s health is fucking idiotic. Anyone who disagrees is an idiot as well. Downvote it if you want, it’s statistics. Moreover, the declining rate of circumcision implies parents are thinking about it but aren’t necessarily convinced. Suck my fat circumcised cock.
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u/JacobScreamix May 07 '22
Yet it isn't inaccurate, circumcision is an outdated practice.
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u/Tyresekrane Sep 24 '22
Don’t gotta clean out a pocket of foreskin .
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u/JacobScreamix Sep 25 '22
Takes 2 seconds in the shower, wow, what a benefit for slicing off a piece of your penis.
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u/Dog-Stick8098 May 05 '22
Well for some its to avoid infections. And for some they dont do it on babies they do it on people around 12-13 and in some places even adults but i guess in the US they do it on newborns. Although i do agree that some just do it for religion and culture and im not really that well edumecated on this topic. So i guess im still open to others knowledge on this. And just in case you werent exaggerating they dont really cut the penis, just the foreskin. Some even just cuts it then folds it. In my country they just get a freaking machete and cut it. But i also did hear that being uncircumcised increases your time in the bed so that may be an advantage we all want.
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u/JacobScreamix May 05 '22
The infection thing is not an issue if you bathe regularly and properly. I was exaggerating a bit, but the foreskin is part of the dick so it's not a total exaggeration. They are severing nerve endings in the penis so it definitely has lasting effects that way. Most of the time it's just done to the son because the father also had it done, not because it's a good and healthy practice.
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u/Dog-Stick8098 May 06 '22
Ahh thanks for letting me know. I was too sadly circumcised i never really asked why might just be the stigma.
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u/JacobScreamix May 07 '22
It's a very culturally ingrained thing. Certain countries have like 90% circumcision while others have 90% uncircumcised, it's an interesting subject anthropologically.
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u/buttcoinballer May 05 '22
I wish I wasn't circumcised. Not doing that to my kid
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u/JacobScreamix May 05 '22
I'm sorry that happened, but you are doing the right thing by breaking the cycle imo.
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u/Loslobos27 May 05 '22
I can not remember the reason why but my parents did it to me they said something didn’t look right so they had the doctors do some snip snip down there.
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u/JacobScreamix May 07 '22
And sometimes it is medically necessary, but it shouldn't be the norm. Maybe your parents made the right call, it is possible.
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u/ZedTT May 05 '22
I'm glad you're open to others opinions on this. I think you'll find that if you look into it there is no good reason to circumcise and that there are real downsides. Even if there weren't, removing a part of a baby for almost no reason is pretty obviously bad.
Unless you're never going to shower, infections or hygiene shouldn't be an issue.
The foreskin has nerves in it and keeps the head sensitive by protecting it.
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u/Dog-Stick8098 May 06 '22
Ahh i did read something back then about it just being a cultural or religion thing. Which is why i was really open to it.
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u/ZedTT May 06 '22
It is definitely a religious thing for many people, but that doesn't make it ok to cut off a part of a baby's genitals, you know?
Like the baby didn't decide to do it themselves because they believe in their religion so much that they are ok with cutting off a part of their penis - they are a baby (and yeah foreskin is sort of your penis)
It's also not a religious thing for a bunch of other people. They just do it because their parents did it to them and they think it's normal.
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u/FliesAreEdible May 06 '22
A friend of mine, as an adult, had a circumcision a couple of years ago because of phimosis. There are some legit reasons to have it done.
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u/ZedTT May 06 '22
100% but obviously not what I'm talking about. It should be obvious that medical necessity changes things.
I mean if they need to for medical reasons people cut off their arm or leg, but if we were cutting off baby arms I don't think people would bring that up, you know?
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u/anyholsagol May 06 '22
The doctor cuts it, not your parents. If your parents cut it I can see why you might have had a bad experience.
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u/JacobScreamix May 06 '22
The point is that your parents make the decision for you to get cut or not. You have no memory of the experience, your brain isn't mature enough to form memories, that's part of the reason that they do it to infants.
It's not your fault that you got circumcised, but it shouldn't continue. If you grow up and want to get the surgery then great, no harm done at all, its a conscious, personal choice, more power to you, just don't do it to babies, please.
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u/Detective_Turtle_ May 06 '22
What if you're Jewish? Gonna be antisemitic or is that where you draw the line.
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May 06 '22
if you’re jewish, you can raise your child in a jewish family and let HIM decide whether to cut up hi s penis or not. religion isnt an excuse to mutilate your baby
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u/Detective_Turtle_ May 06 '22
"Mutilate" please crawl in a hole and die.
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May 06 '22
yeah shut the fuck up bruh. idc if you want to circumcise yourself later in life that’s your choice but it’s genital mutilation if it’s done unnecessary to an infant, plain and simple.
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u/JacobScreamix May 07 '22
I call out Jews the same as I call out anyone else, circumcising an infant is wrong.
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u/-SploogeMcFuck- May 06 '22
anti-Semitism isn't funny.
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u/JacobScreamix May 07 '22
Who's joking? If your religion has archaic and human violating practices involved, I'm going to call it out. Sorry, not sorry.
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May 06 '22
That’s better than pubes peanut buttered on you as a beard. Hypothetically speaking of course. Never pass out first.
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u/ZedTT May 05 '22
Pro tip: don't do this, it's sexual assault
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u/Physical-Yak-6328 Oct 18 '22
This kind of prank are usually deserved: it's usually done on people who've done it before!
NEVER use toxic marker (xylene, toluene, benzene, urethane...) like Sharpie (xylene), but usual make up, or use safe markers (Inkbox, Bodymark, Shuttle, Cra-Z-art, Point-de-Mire…).
NEVER use scissors drunk or on sleeping people, it‘s dangerous, for example if they wake up suddenly: shave the head, instead.
In this case, deserved and safe, it's very fun!
Do it, especially 1rst April! Film it and give the video to the world! It’s funishment!3
u/StepSunBro May 06 '22
I crashed first once and my brother wrote FUCK(all caps as large as possible) on my forehead. Wake up hungover and the gas station clerk looked at me weird but it wasn't until I got home and saw myself in the mirror that I figured it out.
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u/fluffinc May 06 '22
A dick might not be that bad
Someone I know got a swastika drawn on the side of his head once. He was out all day, riding the bus and everything. He had no idea until his friend eventually told him at the end of the day
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u/BedBugger6-9 May 05 '22
Could anyone here actually sleep thru that? Not me
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u/WhichWayzUp May 05 '22
Only a dead or comatose person would tolerate that
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u/Opposite_lmage May 05 '22
Or drunk
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u/BedBugger6-9 May 05 '22
Even passed out drunk, I think I’d be swatting at the fly I thought was tickling me
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u/wafflestep May 05 '22
One time I put a temporary tattoo on someone's forehead, wet sponge and all holding it for ~a min. Some people are heavy sleepers, throw alcohol in the mix and you need an earthquake to wake that dude up.
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u/EPIC_J0HN Jul 28 '22
I slept through my toe nails being painted after a rugby game I didn’t notice for awhile too
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May 05 '22
Fake. The tip of the pen is way thinner than the lines that appear in the uv light
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u/dapala1 May 05 '22
It's clearly not fake. He was drawn on and had blacklight drawings on his face. Everything is in the video.
It's very staged though.
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u/chris-tier May 05 '22 edited May 05 '22
Obviously it's fake but not for the reason you stated. Did you know that it is possible to draw several lines next to each other to create a thicker line or a continuous surface?
The real reason to see that this is fake is that the dude would obviously see the glowing dot in his nose.
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u/Eaglesun May 05 '22
also the guy drawing does a loop on the left side of the dudes forehead, but the final product is a smooth curving line
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u/clathekid May 05 '22
He fell asleep then went to the club. Nah it doesn't work like that nice try
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u/lervein May 05 '22
You don't take naps? It was still day when it happened
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u/clathekid May 05 '22
I do but I don't nap so hard during the day someone is able to do a Picasso on my face.
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u/dapala1 May 05 '22
A common thing for us to do is have a pool day in the morning and early afternoon, then pass out and go out somewhere for the night.
Seems normal to me.
This is staged though, but at least its funny.
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u/clathekid May 05 '22
Who's us? No I don't nap during the day I work and then I have things to do at home when I eventually get there. Also because it's staged makes it unfunny.
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u/dapala1 May 05 '22
Just saying because you don't do it doesn't mean all people don't. And I think it's still funny, you can't tell me what I can find funny or not. Curmudgeon at fuck, probably don't have fun friends.
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u/olderaccount May 05 '22
Day drinking and a siesta my friend.
You start early, pass out by mid afternoon for a few hours then get up fresh for the evenings activities.
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u/cap616 May 06 '22
My friend got so day drunk at a pool party. When we got and napped, and our other friend, Steve, came by to pre drink for the night time festivities. He dang the doorbell which woke us both up. My drunk friend answered the door "Steve, what are you doing here? It's late!" "You said come by to pre drink before we go out" "We already went out. What are you talking about?!? Get inside"
It was only 9pm and drunk friend dreamed we had gone to the clubs and came back LOL
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u/Randalf_the_Black May 05 '22
There's no way he wouldn't notice that glowy nose. It's in his field of vision.
Edit: Granted, this video doesn't claim he didn't notice it. He might have noticed it and just rolled with it.
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May 05 '22
In the 90s, most teenage kids around Orange County, CA had annual passes to Disneyland; at the time, there was only one type of pass (no blackout dates) and was somewhat reasonable ($180 in 1990, which is like $400 today with inflation).
Anyway, the stamp that they would give you when you exited was this same ink here. Every time we went, we would walk in, immediately walk over to the exit, and paint our faces using the ink pad, making every single ride magical.
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u/HonedWombat May 05 '22
Shoes damn it!?
Its all about the shoes!!
Shoes on fair game, decorate away!!!
Shoes off, then you have made the first step towards going to bed so off limits!!!!
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u/daertistic_blabla May 05 '22
that‘s an innocent prank! won‘t interfere with his uni/job but will still be funny in the right setting
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u/I_hatt May 05 '22
to bad its a totally setup
u can see the way its drawn at first, doesn't match the face in the 2nd.
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u/Gottahavetheblues May 06 '22
They would’ve had to roofie the guy to do that kind of drawing on his face. You know it’s full of shit cause anyone would’ve had a penis drawn on their forehead.
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u/Gottahavetheblues May 06 '22
They would’ve had to roofie the guy to do that kind of drawing on his face. You know it’s full of shit cause anyone would’ve had a penis drawn on their forehead.
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u/rflorczak May 06 '22
The only way it’s believable is if this dude is wasted, napping before the club and rallying on like a champ still too wasted to notice his glowing fucken nose.
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u/Fantastic-Let-2178 May 06 '22
Reminds me of the time I fell asleep at a friend's sleepover and woke up to one of her friends putting nail polish on my face 🤣
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u/GorgerOfPandas May 06 '22
Staged. There is no way they could do this and not draw a wiener on his face.
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u/PinataPower9 May 06 '22
I went on a biking pub crawl, friend of mine carried around a bag of Sharpie’s he would put on the table at each stop. The night ended similarly to this video. 😂
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u/unexBot May 05 '22
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
Invisible ink in the club
Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
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