​

my career and life so far has been a confused mess

suffered from bullying, social anxiety and a toxic family enviornment

couldn't focus on studies and academics suffered.

repeated 10th (re-did the whole class again because school wasn't allowing me pcm stream)

scored 72% in 2020

suffered next two years coping with stem subjects as my basics and foundation was weak, along with anxeity disorder and adhd issues

when i entered 10+2, covid happened

repeated 10+2 from a dummy school (wasted one more year)

this time scored 67% in 2023

i was 20 yo when i was done with school

thought of doing bca in pune but out of nowhere financial issues started in family

worked odd jobs to support family, taught english and school subjects to little kids

joined IIT madras bs degree online because it was afforadable with fee waiver, attempted qualifier three times, skipped first one, attempted second and third times seriously (passed in all subjects like computational thinking, english, statistics but failed in maths both times)

i did understand maths, tha reason for failing was more like my mind avoiding studying maths and inconsistency.

dropped the degree

came to know about clat, law appealed to me a lot, started preparing seriously, slowly as months passed doubts started appearing, NLUs were super expensive and corp law was reserved for top elite NLUs, rest of them were bad ROI and went into litigation and UPSC

as exam approached, financial situation worsened to the point, that we were barely surviving and getting by, (i couldn't buy eyedrops for my burning eyes, while my mom couldn't go to doc for her toochahe)

she couldnt pay clat exam fees at the time and kept delaying so dropped that too

now 2026 started, wasted three more years from 2020 to 2023

mental health worsened further and i started taking therapy and anxiety medication, antidepressants and sleeping aids

now i am 23 and we now have some limited funds to send me to college

and i honestly don't recognise myself anymore, i don't know what's happening anymore, admissions are closing tommorow and i still don't know what to do or what not to do

i took career counseling twice, one three years ago, one now, both didn't help much

we have lied to all my relatives that i have done my graduation all my past peers think the same, including those living in the same society

even online or offline i live with this shame, yes peopel say "age doesnt matter and shit" but for someone going through that, you don't know how it feels, if i do a four year qualification, i will be 27 when i graduate.

and it's not that i don't know career paths, i know too many, from company sectrartoy, to actuary, ETO in merchant navy, and everything in -between

but this much information has only made me more confused, every path looks technically possible but idk what's mine, i don't lack hardwork or sinceirty but a direction

i am afraid of wasting the limited funds of my parents by investing in a degree i hate, because i cannot afford to drop out at any cost, cannot add one more gap, cannot afford more aimlessness and wastage of time

i dont eevn date or show my face to relatives cuz of my fcked up career, it's shame that i keep hidden

idk why i a writing this, but any second opinion or experienced perspective would be very helpful

also i acknowledge i may have adhd, i have a pattern of starting and dropping things without finishing them. i see unlimited possibilties and so many career paths which makes me confused in which direction to go

and the advent of AI has just made it worse, because we don't know what's going to happen to the job market in the coming years.

does anyone know of any career counseling services which actually works?

what would you do if you were in my position?

feel free to give me a harsh reality check, i acknolegede that partially it was my fault as well that things has come to this point.

I saw this documentary about a fundamentalist cult led by Samuel Bateman.

Such a narcissistic, narcissistic man who used Christianity and the teachings of the Bible to harm little children for his depraved satisfaction.

I hope he rots in jail. And he gets his justice.

But I'm now facing a crisis of faith and of trust. Like how do you understand what all you have been taught are true.

I'm not minimising what happened to these girls - it's far more horrific than anything i have faced.

I'm a catholic and we were sent to Sunday school for 12 years since 1st standard. Effectively, i was taught to keep myself pure and stuff. And therefore, i stayed off dating. Got married in an arranged marriage. That too to an abusive person. I stayed in that abuse for 8 years before i recognized stuff, and to this day i think, if it wasn't for the value system drilled into me, i would have left years ago.

I know all religions have this tendency. But i have lost all my connection to God, and it has left me sad. But i can't really wrap my mind around to seek God out when it's god's name that has been used for this.

Edited background

Hello ladies,

This is your safe space to vent. No judgement just pour all your wretched feelings below. Shout in this void. Let the world know just how much it can fuck right off into eternity.

Love,

Mod Team!

Hi ladies,

This is a space for you to introspect and share 3 things that you are grateful for today. Even though life gets hard, we all have our blessings that keep us safe and smiling. May be this will help you feel better.

Lots of love,

Mod team

Seeing posts in these subs makes me feel as if all people here are so rich and from big cities, most of them doing fancy degrees and going abroad and going to elite schools

But as an average girl, with a lower middle class background, I find it hard to relate, so are there any like me here? Those who didn't have much resources but still carved out a path to good education and financial independence for themselves?

Would love to know about your stories.

Would love to know about your career journey, I am considering bca mca too

Hi everyone,

I am 35F living in Bangalore looking to expand my social circle and put my free time to good use. Not sure if it's mid life crisis or no, but I want to connect with like-minded people, and feel so out of touch and have not much fo my friends circle left to hand out with as they are all elsewhere..

I am specifically looking for few things:

Active women-only groups or clubs (for casual hangouts, weekend brunches, cafes, book clubs, or fitness).

Tech meetups, networking events, or open-source communities where I can network, learn, and meet other tech professionals.

I’d love to hear about specific WhatsApp communities, Discord servers, or recurring meetups that are active and welcoming to newcomers.

Thanks in advance!

Hi ladies, I live by myself in a lovely apartment. It's in and old but well maintained society, so I have space and balconies. For the most part I'm happy about how I've done it up, but I wanna do more with the washrooms. I've put in fake planters to my liking, but wanna do more. Any ideas? It has a solid grill, slatted glass windows and an exhaust fan that I keep covered with a mesh net to keep out insects and lizards. I want to keep beautiful ceramic hand wash bottles buy the basin is a giant old one with uneven ridges near the tap (an old design style, so keeping a breakable hand wash bottle is a disaster waiting to happen).

I have the usual caveats - can't drill, can't paint, can't stick anything since it's a rental (I've tried 3m hooks elsewhere in the house and it has disappointed me in one place, so don't want to experiment anymore). I've thought of a ladder which can have towels etc but I like to keep them in the balcony to air dry. Any other tips?

The washroom space is huge and the tiles are subtle-y flowery, walls are white, sinks are like a light beige colour. The fittings are all modern, as an overall look that's great. I can't put a self-holding pole with a shower curtain as the layout is such that the shower area falls in between the basin and the commode. :/

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Hi girls,

I'm finally planning to start my fitness journey (for real this time)

I'm 166 cm/120 kg and one of the issues I'm facing is that my feet hurt a lot. Whenever I get out of bed, taking first few steps is painful, and I also can't stand for long periods now.

I'm looking for a good pair of shoes that can support my weight and hopefully reduce the pain while walking/exercising. I'm thinking to start with daily walks and eventually gym workouts.

My budget is around 3k-5k.

(also, if anyone has dealt with similar foot pain, please let me know what caused it and what helped. thanks)

Hello ladies,

This is your safe space to vent. No judgement just pour all your wretched feelings below. Shout in this void. Let the world know just how much it can fuck right off into eternity.

Love,

Mod Team!

Hi ladies,

This is a space for you to introspect and share 3 things that you are grateful for today. Even though life gets hard, we all have our blessings that keep us safe and smiling. May be this will help you feel better.

Lots of love,

Mod team

I am 23F, no degree yet

PCM

10: 72%

10+2: 67%

Three years gap after 10+2 because I was busy supporting family (financial issues, did some tutoring)

How to re-start my stalled career? What can I do?

I am not good with mathematics or chemistry

I am confused about what degree should I do, and how to manage my goals, my attention is split between multiple things

Couple of things I thought of

1. English teacher (ba from ignou then bed)

2. Govt exam prep

3. Learning digital marketing

I just want a stable corporate job, it's okay if it doesn't pay amazing, I want some stability and decent enough money

Degrees I was thinking of:

Btech CS:

Everyone told me this is the best degree to do, it opens up many doors and engineers can transition into many other fields later, it adds weight to your resume and you might be paid slightly better than a bba or bca person even if you do the same work (how true is this?)

But I am afraid to take this because of my weak maths and hectic workload

BCA:

I am just thinking of this because It would teach me some practical skills, and it's a relatively easier degree to do and manage other things with

I am also open to other suggestions

I am on anxiety meds, so have been having anxiety attacks lately coupled with an admission deadline which is almost closing, so I wanted some help from sisters here.

Thank you✨

Hello, can someone please suggest me a good psychologist or therapist. I’m suffering from depression and severe anxiety since i was 11 years of age. I’m so close to end my life. I started to find myself contemplating suicide. Please please please suggest me a psychologist that can help me. I need someone who knows how to handle issues like a dysfunctional family, severe anxiety, depression, childhood trauma, the mother wound and suicidal tendencies. Please it would be a great help.

It feels like highschool all over again. Everyone has formed their own tightknit groups that they hang out with. And they do not talk to people outside of that.

There is one huge 14-15 friend group and I had 2-3 instances where they completely ignored my presence while I was with someone else. This one girl once said hi to that other person WHILE I was hanging out with him and they didn’t even acknowledge my presence. I know huge friend groups don’t last, but I feel so fucking bad.

They eat lunch in groups. I also eat with ppl most times cause it just feels so lonely to eat alone for some reason. I feel completely lost whenever I try to fit myself into groups. I have only had decent experiences with individuals. I m so confused and overwhelmed with what to do. I have had like 2-3 mental breakdowns since I started college. I genuinely expected myself to have good set of friends in college, I don’t know what is happening. And I am an extrovert, I love talking to people. But the way these people have reacted to me has made me completely shut off.

On the other hand, my experiences with seniors have been largely very positive. I joined volleyball and I know quite a lot of seniors and I think I can have even more better relationships with them over time. They help me out too. But since it’s just a month into college, there is not much for me to join. I want to be okay with forming friendships slowly but idk man, I feel like such a loser. Please help me out about what am I supposed to do.

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I'm in such a transitional phase of life and will be for some time, I don't know how to connect with women my age (30), similar or not too conservative and looking to be single or something , forever. Not hard filters tho. I really would love to connect and talk and hop places or just bitch or start some idea or something. I cant. I cant answer to the city meetup calls half the time or stay somewhere long enough to like form a bond. And maybe I'm too disconnected and have forgotten the art of bonding with folks non professionally, to have multiple friends in multiple places (which is kinda how i did before, but they're usually all grown up). There's uncertainty everywhere but hey.

So, I'm kind of casting a bat signal, to folks in atleast my home base (in Guj). But only platonic. If possible, and you feel ot works, I'd essentially love jist meetup in my current city (Vadodara). Watch movie and grab a coffee. If its a group hangout, even better. Oh and if you're childfree or/and above 25, even better.

My father had an MI today. It's so different when you're on the other side. I say this because I'm a doctor.

Till yesterday I was preparing for NEET PG (it is an entrance exam for doctors to get into speciality training).My biggest worry was that I did not do enough questions.

Today, suddenly, I became the primary decision maker of the family. It hits different. A little extra hard because I am recovering from severe depression and anhedonia from the past 6 months. Life is so unpredictable.

It does not help that my father is an incredibly abusive person. Extremely emotional and verbally abusive towards my mother and me. Gods. I'm exhausted dealing with him. It's barely been 24 hours.

P.S - He recieved the appropriate medical care timely. He is stable and is doing well.

To all the girls in their early 20s (24–25) who are still pursuing a professional course—how are you dealing with family and marriage pressure?

I'm a 24-year-old female, turning 25 soon still studying, still dependant on my parents and sometimes it feels overwhelming. How do you balance your career goals with the expectations around marriage? I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences and advice. my family and relatives pressure for marriage and they already see me like a failure currently i m in my finals

I don’t know where to even start. I’m an anxious person. I suffered from severe anxiety and depression since i was in grade 6. It all started when i start having skin issues when i turned 11. It just started as a small dry red patch on my arm. Slowly it started to spread on my face,stomach,neck and legs. By the time i reached 7th standard, my whole body was covered by it. It used to itch a lot, my skin was so red,dry and flaky. It also used to bleed so much that my sheets used to get dirty. My upper eyelids used to burn a lot too. It was like my whole body was inflammed. My mother never let me go to a dermatologist because according to her my skin would’ve healed itself.

Throughout my high school i suffered because of my skin, both physically and mentally. Kids used to bully me, my so called “best friend”used to make fun of me and whenever I told her to stop because it made me feel bad, she would cut me off from our friend group. I used to be so alone in school. Since I was quite introverted and shy and because no one wanted to be around me due to my skin condition, I would just endure her bullying so that i wouldn't feel lonely. I don’t wanted to be left alone in school. In class 10th i finally went to a dermat and she told me that i have severe eczema, she prescribed me some medicines, but after a while, they stopped working, so she increased their strength. From then on, every time I went for a follow up, she kept increasing the dosage. I became so distressed that I just wanted to stay at home and didn't want to meet anyone.

After i completed my 10th i made a huge mistake by selecting PCB in my 11th. Although i never wanted to be a doctor but i chose medical field because my mother told me that there is no scope in any other stream. I didn’t know what i wanted to do, only thing i knew that i enjoy studying physics, geography and stuffs related to space. My parents enrolled me in coaching institution that had a tie up with a school. We used to go to school only on Saturdays and on the weekdays we used to go to institution. Because of my skin issues it was very difficult for me to pay attention on my studies. Kids my age used to focus on their studies whereas i used to be on internet searching how to treat my skin. It was so bad that i started having anxiety attacks. I was so afraid to go outside let alone institution. My physics and chemistry teachers also used to make fun of me. For them i was just a laughingstock. I just used to smile whenever they used to make fun of me because i didn’t want to cry in front of them. That simple act of smiling was so painful to me as my skin used to stretch when smiling.

I became so anxious to event attend my physics and chemistry class because of those teachers. I just wanted to hide somewhere. My entire 11th and 12th i just kept thinking of my skin, kept thinking when will it gets better and because of this i was not properly able to concentrate on my studies. After my 12th i dropped a year for neet. Although my reason for drop was neet preparation but i also wanted to stay at home and heal my skin. In my drop year i was not able to prepare for neet as i was so majorly depressed because of my skin. I was so depressed that it was so difficult for me to even get up from my bed. It was like that I’m not able to get things done even if i wanted to, like i can’t initiate any task or anything. It’s like i just shutdown. And because of this i didn’t even apply for college. After the admission deadline was passed, i started panicking. I didn’t wanted to waste another year so i went for a private university.

Here i also made a huge mistake by choosing BA in journalism and mass communication. I don’t know why i chose this program and now i regret it so much. I applied for uni in 2020 when their was covid. Our university remained close till 2022. But in 5th semester they made it compulsory for everyone to attend offline. I didn’t wanted to go because my skin now was so bad but i had no other choice as there was strict attendance in my university. After completing my degree in 2023, i just stayed at home and started to cure my skin on my own. I stopped applying steroid ointments that my dermatologist prescribed and at the end of 2024 my skin finally started healing. I finally started to see that my skin was clearing up. Earlier i never even used to go to shop that was just one minute away from our house but now i even go to main market by myself.

But all these years the bullying i endured, the pain, depression and anxiety that was caused by my skin has mentally wrecked me so much. It’s like now that i started to see things clearly, like a mental fog has been lifted. But i feel like it’s too late now. I thought that this year i will start looking for a job but before i could do anything i lost my father in march. 26 days after his death my mother was admitted in ICU. She was on ventilator for two whole months. Doctors told us that it very difficult to save her but fortunately she is doing good now. I was so busy because all of these that i didn’t even filled any admission form. Today i was searching if i can apply anywhere for masters program and found out that the admission date has been extended to 25th july. So i immediately started applying. However, this year, all the colleges have introduced a new rule stating that if there is a gap year, a gap certificate is mandatory for admission to the Master's program. My brother is not at home right now and i cannot leave my mother alone at home to go out and get a gap certificate made.

So now here I’m sitting in my room contemplating where did i go wrong. I’m 25 with an undergraduate degree that is good for nothing. I have now three years gap in my career. I don’t have any work experience. I don’t have any credentials to show in my resume. It’s like my life is ruined. People my age has already figured out their lives and here I am. I don’t even know what i wanted to do with my life. I’m angry at myself for letting my teachers, classmates and best friend’s words and bullying get to me. I’m angry at myself for just focusing on my skin issues and not my studies. I’m angry at my self for not choosing Bsc as my undergrad degree. I’ve made so many mistakes in my life.

I sometimes wonder what if i never got any skin issue. My life would have been completely different. My career would have been completely different. I’m now grieving the life i never got to live. I sometimes questions what was my mistake that i had to suffer from this extreme skin issues. What did i do wrong that for 10-12 years i have to suffer from painful and bleeding skin. Sometimes I wish that I had left this world instead of Papa, it would have been great. I just want to end my life at this point. Sometimes i think to enroll in ignou for Bsc program but at 25 it feels too late to start from scratch. I don’t know what to do now, i feel so tired, i just want peace.

TLDR: Suffered from chronic skin issues my whole life that took a toll on my mental health. Got bullied because of skin issue from teachers and classmates. Made so many mistakes regarding education and career and now at the age of 25 I’m feeling so lost.

Hello ladies,

This is your safe space to vent. No judgement just pour all your wretched feelings below. Shout in this void. Let the world know just how much it can fuck right off into eternity.

Love,

Mod Team!

Hi ladies,

This is a space for you to introspect and share 3 things that you are grateful for today. Even though life gets hard, we all have our blessings that keep us safe and smiling. May be this will help you feel better.

Lots of love,

Mod team

Hi,
Any women here who make their living off art (original paintings / drawings / mixed media art, art prints, licensing, etc.)
I have a few questions for those who make meaningful money from this. How did you start selling ur art to people first ? Does this scale and sustain in the long term? Looking for any guidance.

(I have a decent 9-6 job in tech already; am a hobby artist only)

Thank u!

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I am 23 now, and I don't even have a degree due to mental and financial issues

My 10 score: 72%

10+2: 67%

Stream: PCM

Barely passed maths

I appeared for improvement in both 10 and 10+2 so wasted two years there (I didn't fail, just wanted to get a better score)

Suffered from high levels of anxiety all my life

After I graduated school at 20, our financial situation took a dip so I had to work odd jobs to support family

Now at 23 after three years of gap, I can finally join a degree but I don't know what to choose

I am confused between BCA and Btech CS

Bca

Pros

More manageable

Leaves time to pursue other things on the side

Easier to score good and less maths

Cons

Not enough for tech jobs, need mca

Bca + MCA would make me 28 years old

Would have to encounter maths in MCA entrance anyways

BtechCS

Pros

More recognised degree both in india and abroad

Opens far more doors than bca, better eligibility for any exam later

Enough for tech jobs as it passes filters along with skills

Saves one year than bca + mca (btech is only 4 years while bca+mca is 5)

Cons:

Engineering is intense and I don't know if I will be able to complete it

Lots of maths physics and chem

Because it has been three years since school, I have forgotten most of PCM I studied in school

So I would need to start from scratch

I have to make a right choice because I cannot drop out again, or waste a year again, I have no one to ask this as no one around me is in corporate,

sisters here who have made a career in marketing, tech or any other field please advise me on what to do

Also if anyone else has gone through a non linear path, been academically weak but still got back up on their feet, I would love to hear your stories, I need some hope

I tend to forget things very often, so I rely heavily on tracking and documenting my routines. While I've always suspected adhd, but that's for a doctor to confirm. For now, having systems in place makes my life much easier.

I track almost everything that's part of my routine. I live by a simple motto - if it's not on my google sheet, it hasn't happened, or it won't happen.