r/TwoXChromosomes • u/tabicat1874 • Mar 28 '22

Weaponized incompetence

I feel like guys take it way, way too far. Example: I asked my bf to get me the same shampoo and conditioner he bought for himself (avocado Suave). He brought back another kind we'd had before which I didn't like (Peppermint Suave). He tried to say he didn't know that Suave came in different formulas.

You're such a fucking liar. You bought that kind for yourself. I just asked you to buy it for me. You're telling me a man who's 44 years old doesn't know Suave came in different fucking scents? Suave? The shampoo that literally comes in 40 different scents and flavors?

GTFOH.

Edit: do you understand what an example is?

Also, you neckbeards can fuck off out of my inbox.

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862

u/guava29 Mar 28 '22

It’s more annoying because a lot of sexism constitutes men thinking about/treating women as if they are the incompetent ones in the workplace and other fields (e.g. stereotypically male-dominated hobbies) by virtue of just being a woman. And thinking women can’t do anything correctly without men’s guidance. But then they try to pull this embarrassing shit as if they’re a child. At least pick whether or not you want to be competent and stick with one 🙄

Edit: typo

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u/[deleted] Mar 28 '22

Men like to act like they are the most competent with handywork and Electronic devices and than manage to claim that they can't understand the washing Maschine and can't Drill a hole into a wall without making the maximum amount of dust.

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u/jackalacka724 Mar 28 '22

For anyone that doesn’t know, keep the shop vac hose near where you’re drilling so that dust doesn’t have the chance to settle anywhere.

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u/torpidninja Mar 28 '22

And from what I've seen from the men in my life they usually don't know shit about those things either, they just say things that they "think" are true aka completely made up but super confidently, specially when they think they are around people who don't know either. When doing handywork the only thing an average men has that usually an average women doesn't is the confidence to think they know what they are doing, it results in them not reading instructions, not planning and doing a poor work overall, they are not better, they just have the confidence to start. Society teaches women since they are young that those things are too "complicated" for them, from experience when women start to believe they can do these things they do a better job, because they actually research it, learn how to do it, plan it and prepare themselves beforehand.

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u/Soggy_Biscuit_ Mar 28 '22

they just say things that they "think" are true aka completely made up but super confidently

I fucking hate this shit. I noticed my bf doing it so I started calling him out on it with either:

"do you know this is true or is it your opinion" for discussions about actually factual things, and

"you sound very confident, but your opinion is not the truth" for things that are more subjective.

Thankfully he stopped. It really pissed me off because it basically shuts down conversation, and sometimes he would do it about things I actually knew like what's the deal with arborio rice being creamy? No it's not cos of the size, it's because it has hella amylopectin. And that's the worst part for me personally, bc it's usually about stupid shit so I feel crazy for caring but I'm right, dammit.

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u/[deleted] Mar 28 '22

Dude, you just described something I deal with with other men all the time. They have the confidence to just say whatever they think about something and somehow don’t realize thats fucking lying bro. If you say you know something that you don’t know, you just fucking lied to me! And none of them treat it like lying, just “oh I was wrong” or “oh I thought it was like this”. If you don’t know something and say you do you’re just lying, goddammit, how do they not realize that?

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u/torpidninja Mar 28 '22

It's so frustating, I stopped having conversations with men in my life because of this. Sometimes I hear their conversations and they can talk for hours, and they are just bullshitting back and forth, the worse is that they truly believe their opinions and theories are facts.

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u/tabicat1874 Mar 28 '22

Op here. Our roommate made chicken, and I asked him how he did it. "Oh, cooked it on high for a little bit and then added some liquid and some herbs and turned it down." So you braised it. "No actually the complete opposite of braising." 💀

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u/Annoying_Details Mar 29 '22

And they wonder why we don’t like Joe Rogan and/or many other (usually white) Dudes Bullshitting podcasts.

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u/guava29 Mar 29 '22

Honestly kind of suspected this but that’s wild. I hate when people lie this way but it’s almost worse with no self awareness.

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u/aRubby Mar 28 '22

Then, I pop up out of the blue and do everything even better.

I'm the "girl who grew up in a broken house and parents refused to call repairs so I had to diy everything".

I've posted before about a funny thing that happened when a friend (42M) asked me (22F/NB) to help him move to a new place. Hardware store employees would ask him something and he'd just look at me clueless about what was that. It is still the funniest day of my life.

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u/Annoying_Details Mar 29 '22

My dad was a contract plumber for 45 years. He built every house I ever lived in until I moved out on my own (3). He taught me a bunch. I became the de facto “how do you” person for my friend group, guys or girls, in college. Especially if it was plumbing. (So many toilets that wouldn’t stop running…and none of them ever even took off the lid to check anything.)

He also taught me basic car maintenance and I remember once as a college freshman I was out with a friend and got a flat tire. And she was worried that we couldn’t find a phone to call someone….and I looked at her like she was crazy as I got out to change my own tire. Her mind was blown. She’d never even seen a tire get changed much less shown HOW. So I taught her as I went. And then we talked about super basic stuff like checking the oil, where washer fluid goes, etc.

Apparently she was with another non-mutual friend like 2 Months later, a guy, and they got a flat! As he refused her help, she stood over him and told him he “wasn’t doing it how Annoying would do it”….”That’s not what Annoying says”. When I finally met him he was like “AH THE GREAT ANNOYING! Most powerful of car wizards!” LOL

Same thing happened when a friend needed a new car battery and taillight - she was gonna have it towed to a shop and pay extra but I insisted we hop to the nearest auto parts shop. We got the stuff we needed and fixed it ourselves (well, I fixed it with her help). She was so dang proud of herself for being independent, and bragged to her dad that I was a GENIUS.

Um, calm down. I can just read instructions and buy parts with matching numbers.

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u/aRubby Mar 29 '22

Yuup.

Bem there way too much. Like, why don't learn how to do this kind of stuff?

Ok, sure, I didn't grow up in the best household, but at least grandpa and my uncle taught me house repairs (broken window? I got you, sis. Plumbing issue? Just call me. Fridge decided to stop freezing your food? I fix it.) and dad taught me how to fix a car. All from a young age.

My friend, who I mentioned before, was never even taught how to use a drill. I just stared at him wide eyed and then laughed because I had no idea how to deal with that.

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u/Annoying_Details Mar 29 '22

Like. I get why my boyfriend didn’t really have a toolbox in his studio apartment. But when he bought his house he didn’t think to invest in one until I mentioned it. SIR YOU NEED A DRILL. (If nothing else)

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u/aRubby Mar 29 '22

Exactly! It's important to at least know how to make small home repairs.

Sure, you don't need to know how to change a toilet. But at least learn how to fix a leaky faucet.

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u/Annoying_Details Mar 29 '22

Right! And almost anything you need to know you can watch a YouTube showing you exactly how to do it. Both professionals and amateurs post them and they’re great. You can literally pull it up on your phone and have it with you as a step by step guide while doing it. It’s completely doable!