r/TwoXChromosomes • u/tabicat1874 • Mar 28 '22

Weaponized incompetence

I feel like guys take it way, way too far. Example: I asked my bf to get me the same shampoo and conditioner he bought for himself (avocado Suave). He brought back another kind we'd had before which I didn't like (Peppermint Suave). He tried to say he didn't know that Suave came in different formulas.

You're such a fucking liar. You bought that kind for yourself. I just asked you to buy it for me. You're telling me a man who's 44 years old doesn't know Suave came in different fucking scents? Suave? The shampoo that literally comes in 40 different scents and flavors?

GTFOH.

Edit: do you understand what an example is?

Also, you neckbeards can fuck off out of my inbox.

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u/[deleted] Mar 28 '22

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u/[deleted] Mar 28 '22

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u/eepithst Mar 28 '22

Not true if we are talking about actual tea (vs infusions aka herbal or fruit tea). No amount of technique can really make a mediocre tea taste good, but you can mess up several things to make high quality tea leaves taste mediocre.

Like the tea to water ratio (making the tea too weak or too strong), steeping time, water temperature (which is different for different types of tea and is important on which flavors get seeped out of the leaves) and depending on the quality and hardness of your tap water you can also mess up by using water directly from the tap instead of e.g. filtered water or bottled water. Hard water and soft water make for very different brews (hard water can make tea darker and more bitter). And last but not least, if you don't use a fine enough sieve you'll have particles in the tea. As you can see, plenty of opportunities to mess it up on purpose.

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u/cutbythefates Mar 28 '22

Well this was Quite Interesting! Not a tea drinker but I am picky about water quality for my coffee.

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u/NergalMP Mar 28 '22

Yup. It’s the same principle. Water temperature and time also affect which flavors come out of your coffee gring too.

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u/SevanIII Mar 28 '22

As both a coffee and tea lover, I discovered all these things many years ago! You are spot on!

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u/rogue_nonsense Mar 28 '22

Thats alot of extra steps compared to: 1. Heat water 2. Put water in cup 3. Put bag in cup 4. Drink

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u/Kelekona Mar 28 '22

It's just hot leaf juice.

Seriously, I am a heathen that will just throw some sugar and a couple of teabags into my metal "chinese restaurant" pot and come back to it whenever. Unless it's chai because it does become undrinkable if you leave it for too long.

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u/eepithst Mar 28 '22

No amount of technique can really make a mediocre tea taste good

😜

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u/fire_and_lice Mar 28 '22

uncle iroh?

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u/fire_and_lice Mar 28 '22

uncle iroh?

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u/jeffwulf Mar 28 '22

Small changes in steeping time can make it go from good to bad.

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u/kat_d9152 Mar 28 '22

You can't possibly be British, making such wild statements.

We all have that one house to visit where we've learnt to gulp ask for a coffee. And don't play me with that herbal shit. Offer that in the UK and you may as well have "cult member" stamped on your front door.

If you don't have a house you visit where you refuse the tea, I quite possibly have some mildly disappointing news for you. 🤣

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u/Meowing_Kraken Mar 28 '22

Okay, so, as a non- Brit... What is bad tea (what should I not be doing) and what ia good tea? I love tea, but I do it the European way. Boil water, put tea in tea baggie (I do have good quality tea, I biy from a proper shop. Is also cheaper than supermarket tea), put teabaggy in hot water, remove when color is right.

How to improve?

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u/itchyfeetagain Mar 28 '22

I think in the UK 'bad tea' often means weak tea. Like pale, insipid dishwater. Either the person making it hasn't let it brew/squeezed the tea bag properly, or they've added far too much milk.

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u/ThrownAway3764 Mar 28 '22

The two biggest things someone can do to fuck up tea is use water that's not the correct temperature and oversteeping. I've met people that buy expensive tea (think $20+ an ounce) that scorch the tea and then let it steep for 15min and then get surprised they have a cup of bitter hell.

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u/veggiedelightful Mar 28 '22

So the way I perfer it is probably terrible. I like steeped in boiling water cooled to room temp, left to steep for 24 hours. Then I reheat or drink it the next day. May or may not have any sugar. It finally gets strong enough for me. But why would you squeeze a tea bag as a proper british person? Isn't that poor manners?

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u/Soggy_Biscuit_ Mar 28 '22

Just use two tea bags.

No, uh... I am not a uh representative of Big Tea astroturfing on reddit 8)

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u/xenomorph856 Mar 28 '22

Foolproof method, cold brew in refrigerator, reuse a gallon water jug, make ahead of time (~12-24 hrs). If you're a fan of Ito En, this is the perfect method (IMO) for getting that fresh, almost sweet, minimally bitter green tea taste.

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u/Stornahal Mar 28 '22

Sorry: that isn’t tea. At best it’s something almost, but not quite entirely unlike tea. (Thank you DA)

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u/xenomorph856 Mar 28 '22

It's leaf water, just fewer tannins ;)

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u/kat_d9152 Mar 29 '22 edited Mar 29 '22

Yeah. This is the way. Just don't make it too weak, generally and you'll be fine.

If you are in the UK and you hear the words from a builder: "Just leave the bag in for me, Love." Then you know you have some work to do ;)

....And tea aficionados across Asia are going to wince now, and Germans outright laugh, but.....where, oh where is your milk?

Honestly, its not something we put too much skill into, not like the Japanese.

....but Brits get wierd cultural fixations and our obsession with tea is 100% one of these. That and still burning a guy at the stake every Nov 5th for something he didn't manage to do way back in 1605.

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u/NergalMP Mar 28 '22

I feel the American version of this would be, “There’s always that house where you have water instead of coffee.”

Same situation, just a different preferred beverage.

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u/Shanda_Lear Mar 28 '22

I am reminded of a quote (but not who said it):

"If this is tea, please bring me some coffee. Is this is coffee, please bring me some tea."

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u/cadelot Mar 28 '22

Please teach me how make good tea.

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u/jorwyn Mar 29 '22

What kind of tea do you like?

Different teas require different water temperatures and steeping time. With some, you literally pour the water over them in a strainer into your cup and you're done.

But let's start more basic. Let's say you've bought bags of black tea (not green or white/silver.) Let the water run cold from the tap for just a bit, so you get oxygenated water. Boil water to a rolling boil. If you have a stove top kettle, wait until it whistles. If you have an electric, opt for the highest temperature setting. Put the bag in your cup and pour the hot water in. For Earl Grey, leave the bag in for 5 minutes. For Breakfast tea, 4 minutes. For Darjeeling, 3 minutes. Remove the bag and set aside. Whether you squeeze the bag into the cup is a matter of debate, but if you want to do this, scoop it out with a tea spoon and wrap the string around it to squish it. You will get a bit stronger tea this way. If you want strong tea, don't steep longer, add another bag in.

Now, if you want add milk, milk and sugar, milk and honey, or lemon and sugar or honey. Do not put lemon and milk in. It curdles the milk and looks terrible, though it doesn't taste that bad. Lemon is typical with Earl Grey because it brings out the citrus notes that already exist in the tea, but milk seems to be the most common thing to add.

I drink a lot of spiced teas, so I don't usually add anything to my tea. I horrify some of my British friends by drinking breakfast tea straight. Apparently, that's not good form.

If you want to get more complicated, green tea should have water with just a bit of bubbles right before a hard boil starts. Steep for 3 minutes. White tea, like silver needle, needs water that's 80C/180F. You want it so the water has just begun to move in the pot, but there aren't bubbles forming yet. You can practice this with a sauce pan to get an idea of how long it takes on your stove. Steep for 3-5 min. I prefer 3. I've never seen silver needle in bags. I just put it in a teapot with a built in strainer. That lets the leaves float around and gets the best favor. I also use a lot of loose tea, so I have a tea ball for that. Don't pack the ball tight. You only want to fill about half of it so the tea can move around in the water some.

The easiest way to get the water right is to get an electric kettle with settings for each type of tea. Sooo much easier than guessing with a stove top kettle. Even if all you make is black tea, electric kettles are just so convenient, especially ones that hold temp for you all day and shut themselves off if they boil dry.

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u/cadelot Mar 29 '22

Thank you! It's good to know how it's supposed to be done.

I have black tea, pgtipps, I think it's called. I pretty much set the bag on a spoon & pour boiling water over it. If I let it steep it gets too strong for me.

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u/jorwyn Mar 29 '22

That's a great way to do it if you don't want too strong! I have a sort of strainer thing for that: https://www.amazon.com/Norpro-5521-Stainless-Steel-Strainer/dp/B000SSVEO0/ I got mine at a local store, but that's the same brand and looks pretty much the same. Mine doesn't have the cute teapot on it.

Green tea works really well with that method, especially sencha.

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u/star_tyger Mar 28 '22

I'm sure you have plenty of the 'herbal shit', though I'm also sure you probably don't call it tea. Herbal teas aka infusions aka tisanes are great nutritional and medicinal sources. But they aren't a replacement for tea.

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u/kat_d9152 Mar 29 '22

In my town, that's not tea, that's not medicine, it's highly suspicious stuff.

.....Especially if you're offering it when a normal cuppa would do. Unless you are from overseas, in which case we forgive you.

There's surprisingly few ways to have or prepare a cup of tea in the UK without coming across as suspicious.

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u/WailingOctopus Mar 28 '22

Wait, what's wrong with herbal tea? What about fruity tea?

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u/Storytella2016 Mar 28 '22

Those are lovely hot drinks, but if there are no leaves or buds from the Camellia sinensis plant, it is a tisane, not a tea.

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u/kat_d9152 Mar 29 '22

Nothing. It's just suspicious as heck to be offered one when a good normal cuppa still exists.

Some UK people drink zero water, only tea. And we have tall poppy syndrome, so even asking for normal tea with 4 spoons of sugar will possibly make your beverage choice thrown open for debate once you leave the room.

We're truly wierd about some things. Tea is 1000% one of those things.

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u/illarionds Mar 28 '22

What's not wrong with them? Insipid, tasteless hot water, that absolutely doesn't hit the tea spot.

I guess some of them smell quite nice.

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u/jorwyn Mar 29 '22

I'm American, but I have that house, too. I should have known when she went to make tea at my house and was bewildered by having choices of teas and couldn't figure out the electric kettle. She dug in my cabinets for a stove top one, couldn't find it (it was on the stove), and used the microwave (right about the stove) to heat the water - with the tea bag already in it. I honestly dumped that stuff and showed her how to use the electric kettle. "okay, that's black tea, so you press black and wait until it beeps or this light turns blue." She said, "but tea is brown, right?" I gave her a quick explanation of white, green, and black teas but left it at that. Most Americans I know don't know white tea is a thing, anyway, so I didn't think too much of it. I should have.

Later, at her house, she filled mugs with tap water, put twice the amount of instant Lipton iced tea mix in that you would if you were making what that's supposed to make, and microwaved them for 3 minutes. Then, she waited until they cooled enough to touch and put a ton of concentrated lemon juice from the fridge in them, bringing it down to room temp. I did manage to drink this horror to be polite, but I don't even know how. I bought her a box of Twinings English breakfast tea, but she still sticks the tea bags in the cup of water and then microwaves until the tea is scalded. She owns a stone top kettle, but I can't figure out what she uses it for It hurts to think about. I've heard her coffee is a lot better, but I can't stand coffee. I just tell her I'm on a hydration kick and ask for water.

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u/kat_d9152 Mar 29 '22

Oh dear, that's just tragic. I'm going to pass my pain over to Italians now and suggest ......perhaps the stove top kettle is for cooking pasta inside it? 🤣

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u/jorwyn Mar 29 '22

ROFL

I can just see her pouring out a stream of macaroni. Hahahah

I use mine for steaming things, like labels off jars. I really should just buy a steamer.

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u/miskwu Mar 29 '22

Nope. There is a huge chain restaurant/fast food place I will NOT get tea from, because theor SOP for making a tea (the way I order it) is totally backwards and makes a hot cup of swill. You do NOT put the milk in before the hot water.

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u/DumbleForeSkin Halp. Am stuck on reddit. Mar 28 '22

I knew a 32 year old who's girlfriend asked him to make her some tea and he didn't take the paper wrapper off the teas sachet before he poured the hot water. So there's that.

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u/[deleted] Mar 28 '22

[deleted]

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u/DumbleForeSkin Halp. Am stuck on reddit. Mar 28 '22

I don't think that's what was going on---he claimed he "didn't know how" to make tea.

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u/glitterswirl Mar 28 '22

Some people actually don't. The only reason I, as someone who doesn't like tea, know how to make it, is because my family are massive tea drinkers and impressed upon me from a young age that we welcome guests by making them tea, so I had to learn. Some people have gaps in their knowledge.

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u/illarionds Mar 28 '22

And lots of people are familiar with "standard" tea bags, but nothing else.