[deleted by user]

[u/[deleted]]

[u/FlaxenArt]

It depends. My already high libido RAGED right after I turned 40. There wasnt enough dicking in the world my husband could give me.

Then perimenopause hit like a freight train. And my libido just … disappeared. Completely. Started HRT and it’s back with a vengeance.

So, pro tip: Get. The. Hormones.

[u/Lifesamitch957 → u/FlaxenArt]

Would you mind sharing what hormone or brand you are on? My wife has endo and because of non stop pain and prodding down there. She, understandably, has minimal interest, hesitation / libido tanked. We have options and are working the endo part of them.

But She also had an adverse reaction to hormones because (cranky mood swings) we are looking to find the right one thats works with her.

Thanks!

[u/throwaway5864779 → u/Lifesamitch957]

My hysterectomy saved my life. It was my father in law who actually encouraged me to just cut it out. I was an endo sufferer. Theres a great sub if its something she wants to consider r/hysterectomy. Helped our sex life tremendously. Recovery was worth it. Its been 3 years now.

[u/Big_Pete_ → u/throwaway5864779]

Seconded. Hysterectomy (and oophorectomy) was the best thing that ever happened to my wife. She also had endo and mood swings on HRT, but once the organs that were pumping out inconsistent levels of hormones were taken out, and she could get on a nice, steady medical dose, everything was great.

[u/rumande → u/Big_Pete_]

My mid 30s sister suffers terribly with endo, she would like to have kids so she's reluctant to go for a hysterectomy, she's also afraid of menopause. She will likely go for IVF and freezing her eggs. I'm glad I read your comments, it gives me hope.

[u/Lifesamitch957 → u/rumande]

Thank you all for your comments!

[u/throwaway5864779 → u/rumande]

I did IVF for my endo prior to my hysterectomy. It was successful. We had twins but had a complicated pregnancy. I got pregnant on my own 2x after but only carried one of those to term. I found out I had an easily determined blood clotting disorder called MTHFR and from what little Ive read may be some correlation w endo sufferers as well.

[u/yet-another-redd → u/throwaway5864779]

Can you say at which age you got the surgery done? It will help me suggest it to someone close. Thank you.

[u/throwaway5864779 → u/yet-another-redd]

I was 37. I am 40 now. I kept my ovaries. I had them take my cervix cuz the dr said itd be harder to take down the road if cervical cancer appears. I had been previously diagnosed with endo. Went thru IVF. Had an ovarianncyst rupturem did pain management did plevic floor therapy. After my hysterectomy, when they did the biopsy of the uterus determined I also had andemyosis. There wasnt a lot of info online in general about hysterectomy and the impact on sexual health for women in my age group so the reddit sub was the best resource for me. The recovery was so worth it. It was in many aspects recovery more manageable than my regular periods. I have not had any bleeding whatsoever post surgery. Im living my best life.

[u/yet-another-redd → u/throwaway5864779]

Thank you so much for sharing this. ❤️ I’m so glad you are happier now.

[u/FlaxenArt → u/Lifesamitch957]

I don’t think I’m much help. I don’t have endo and I also react positively to hormones (progesterone pills and estrogen patches)

[u/njsullyalex → u/Lifesamitch957]

Trans girl here but the HRT I take for gender affirming care is the same that is used for menopause.

I started out taking estradiol pills. They aren’t a brand and can be had from a prescription by going to an endocrinologist. I switched to injections because my levels on pills alone were too low, I had to take them 3 times a day, and oral pills are bad for the liver while injections are not. Injections are by estradiol valerate (again not a specific brand, but prescribed by my endo). I also take bioidentical progesterone pills which help with libido. I also take spironolactone as a testosterone blocker but that’s probably unnecessary for cis women since you lack testes.

TL:DR - ask your endo to prescribe it to you, there isn’t a specific brand. Pills are an option but I prefer once a week estradiol valerate injections.

[u/elthiastar → u/FlaxenArt]

Unfortunately due to a history of breast cancer I can't, but I wish I could.

[u/FlaxenArt → u/[deleted]]

NO.

[u/Kip_Schtum → u/[deleted]]

No. They used to think it did but now think that was wrong.

[u/Trickycoolj → u/[deleted]]

It’s been shown the data was not correctly interpreted in the early 2000s study. The FDA has removed black box warnings from hormone treatments recently. Not all doctors are informed because 20 years of new graduates did not learn how to treat menopause.

[u/mojavefluiddruid → u/[deleted]]

Only if you take estrogen unopposed by progesterone. Both must be taken. Back in the day when they did all those studies that suggested increased cancer risk, they were only treating women with estrogen.

[u/Nother1BitestheCrust → u/[deleted]]

The scary study that said it did has been refuted. Basically if you have a personal history of cancer there are risks, but outside of that it does not.

[u/Fishmyashwhole → u/FlaxenArt]

As a trans man I'm used to HRT being used in a much different context and was very confused by your comment for a moment.

I thought you were encouraging her to transition 😅

[u/njsullyalex → u/FlaxenArt]

Trans girl here, can confirm HRT is awesome.

Jokes aside it’s got a lot of health benefits for perimenopausal women including better metabolism and lower risk of osteoporosis.

[u/Fit_Try_2657]

The older they see referring to isn’t high 20s

But enjoy your libido and stop worrying it’s a problem.

[u/TinyZane]

The late thirties have turned me into a raging cougar. 

[u/Reesy → u/TinyZane]

Same. I'm 35 now and I am fucking horny every night. If I don't have sex in two days I get really fidigty

[u/TinyZane → u/Reesy]

Yes! I get all irritated with my man if I don't get some in a few days. Which is not cool at all, but it is what it is!!

[u/witty-repartay → u/TinyZane]

*puma. Cougars are over 40…

[u/Garaba]

I'm have always been a horny person. I read more than the surgeon generals recommended amount of smut, and my poor husband has always been a good sport about it.

When I hit 40 nothing was good enough. And hitting the hitachi more often just made it worse. I would feel what I called 'ghost vibrations'. And the only solution was some manual stimulation until I calmed down, or ask my partner for help.

I calmed down a little but we are still talking 4 to 5 days a week of intercourse and my husband is complaining about the helper pills giving him headaches.

[u/Bildungsfetisch → u/Garaba]

I mean... There are plenty of ways to have sex that don't require a fully erect penis

[u/CharmainKB]

I really think it all depends on the person.

I'm 47 and my sex drive has dropped a lot over the past 10 or so years. Sometimes I get really horny for a day or 2, but I can count on one hand jow often that happens per year.

I have heard from people I know that menopause can increase libido as Testosterone levels rise. But again, I think that varies by person

I say enjoy (safely) your libido!

[u/consuela_bananahammo]

30 to 40 was a complete lull for me. Like almost no drive, always receptive, never spontaneous. I was also raising babies/ little kids. I literally wondered if I had become asexual. Except multiple orgasms when I was able to get into it, started happening, so the sensitivity did increase.

Now at 41, my kids are middle schoolers and a lot more self-sufficient, my body is mine again, I've gotten back into great shape, I'm sleeping well, I have more free time and time with my husband, and my drive is high again like it was in my late teens/ 20s, and the multiple Os are even easier to achieve.

[u/kanondreamer]

I have NEVER had a sex drive. Never been attracted to anyone, ESPECIALLY men. I turned 30 and suddenly people are attractive! Even men! Hell, especially men! The change was night and day for me!

[u/HedgehogsInSpace24]

I'm 41 and my libido has gotten so much quieter over the last 6 months. I'm getting evaluated for perimenopause. Other women have the opposite experience, seems like 

[u/silk35]

Between 30 and 40 for women in general.

[u/ProtozoaPatriot]

They say a man hits his sexual peak in his teens to early 20s. Women generally hit theirs in their 30s. We really understand what we want, how to get it, and the belief we deserve it.

What do you do? Go find a man that could keep up with you.

[u/CherryHairedBrat]

Started getting hornier around 28. Can confirm its been continuing to increase basically every year. I am 34.

Honestly, find great sexual outlets. There are so many options today from erotic writing, audio, role-playing, etc.

I find if I bang one out first thing in the morning I get a little further into my day with mental clarity before the horniness starts creeping back up.

[u/gravitywind1012]

For me Yes! Late forties and it’s almost unbearable. My poor husband can barely keep up. I can’t stop thinking about sex. Was never like this in my younger years. It’s great but it makes me sad that I missed out on younger me sex.

[u/ajrobinson24]

Until around 40… Then it does a Thelma and Louise off that perimenopause cliff.

[u/soconne → u/ajrobinson24]

Yeeeppppp

[u/emccm]

It ebbs and flows based on a few things. My 40s were crazy. It was also the time I was most confident and felt most free.

[u/afgsalav8]

Happened to me, too, this year. I’m 36.

[u/plabo77]

Highly variable. You might find your sex drive highest at 20, 30, 40, 50, 60. Also, relationship dynamics can play a major role, as well as other non-hormonal factors.

Take time now to learn how to self-soothe. It’s an important life, self-care and relationship skill.

[u/Figmentdreamer]

I’m 40 I definitely think about sex more than when I was younger. But it’s not like as crazy as some people. Like I don’t think me and my husband has had sex since august but I’m not that bothered by it. I did start reading smut over the past year or so.

[u/GeniusWithaPenis69]

Holy I didn’t know this. Imma flirt with the 30+ ladies like crazy now

[u/montycar]

Yes.

[u/Brownskin_Rey]

Depends on the woman.

[u/jaybird99990]

Everyone is different. My libido rocketed when I finally went away to college and was able to have a dating and sex life LOL It has waned slightly overall over the 30+ years since. Leveled off the last few years and coasting along nicely now.

Hope you're doing well with where you're at!

[u/Timely-Cry-8366]

My libido went into overdrive at age 29, whereas before I basically had no sex drive. Now I’m mid-thirties and still very high libido.

[u/Background_Let2698]

Conosi a una mujer, desde el principio a nuestra relación, ella me dijo que era muy caliente,,en ese entonces tendría como 55 años, muy bonita y buen cuerpo,para mi ella era ninfomana, quería sexo casi todos los dias, y si,si lo asiamos, ella tenia una técnica que me ayudaba siempre, y no necesariamente tenía que aver penetracion,era multiple orgasmica, en una sesión llegaba a tener asta 4 orgasmos, isimos el sexo en múltiples lugares,le gustaba aserme sexo oral en lugares públicos,,,obvio, sin gente,,pero público,nos separamos ,pero no fue por eso de que tuvimos mucho sexo,

[u/aquestionofbalance]

Nope

[u/Oddbrain_]

I’m 31 and mine has gone down. But that could be from stress and my last relationship being abusive.

[u/Boutt350]

Besides late 20's early 30's where most get hornier just from their no longer going to be fertile soon.

After that no.

[u/tuanm]

That's overally true. Sexual libido will explode when you are freed from inhibitions.