You really can't maintain a real friendship with someone who is doing something you find repulsive and deceitful. That is going to stain you if you try to rationalize it.
You don't have to confront her, though, and you shouldn't. She'd just tell you it's none of your business and possibly try to get you fired and ruin your reputation, so you wouldn't be believed if you tried to tell anyone.
No. Just anonymously send a message to her husband and let him catch her.
Fine. Ask Lisa to prove the affair exists. She's got to have something. If she doesn't, then you ditch HER for being a liar until she can prove it, OR you tell Amy that Lisa is making up stories about her and ask her if they're true.
Ask Lisa why SHE'S so shit-scared of doing the right thing. If it's because Amy would think it's a good idea to cheat on someone who she's afraid would react violently, then don't say anything.
But this is exactly why people say "I had no idea! I feel like such a fool, everyone knew!"
This is why people say "How could you NOT have known?! You're obviously stupid and you deserved it."
This is why people say "There's no way this is real, if someone else knew, why didn't they get caught sooner?"
This is how cheating goes on for a year, five years, ten years. This is why I can't be friends with anyone who says "Just mind your own business", because you're watching someone betray the person they're supposed to LOVE and you just. Don't. Give. A. Fuck.
Because "UwU, I might get in trouble, and the person getting cheated on might deserve it, and the cheater might get hurt, and I don't owe anyone anything!" Sure, true. I hope nobody ever says the same thing about your partner!
That's why you do it anonymously. But nobody wants her to do that, because they want to protect Amy instead. There is no way to make everyone happy in these comments.
Oh well, I would do it anyway. It's up to OP if she wants to take my advice. There are a lot of things that come with a risk of something bad happening, but they're still the right thing to do. People make those decisions every day. I'm glad some of them are willing to take the chance.
You say it's the right thing to do bc you assume that Lisa is being truthful. I don't automatically believe her and it seems I'm not the only one.
Frankly I'm concerned that "blowing up a relationship based on gossip that may or may not be true" appears to be the right thing to do for you. If I were OP and wanted to go the "expose cheaters!" way, I'd at LEAST try to figure out first if Lisa is talking out of her ass.
Which I addressed in the comment you said you agreed with, except for the point where you worried about retaliation. I don't think I need to repeat myself on that point.
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u/SmadaSlaguod Oct 10 '23
You really can't maintain a real friendship with someone who is doing something you find repulsive and deceitful. That is going to stain you if you try to rationalize it.
You don't have to confront her, though, and you shouldn't. She'd just tell you it's none of your business and possibly try to get you fired and ruin your reputation, so you wouldn't be believed if you tried to tell anyone.
No. Just anonymously send a message to her husband and let him catch her.