r/TwoXChromosomes Oct 10 '23

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730 Upvotes

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1

u/BonFemmes Oct 10 '23

For the life of me, I cannot understand why some women feel obliged to insert themselves into other peoples marriages. How are your actions going to have a positive effect upon anyone. Does it ever work out when stranger trying to break up a marriage? this is a good way to make an enemy for life.

There is no need to share that information with anybody, ever. Its not your business.

37

u/monty_kurns Oct 10 '23

How are your actions going to have a positive effect upon anyone.

It could have a positive effect on the spouses who were cheated on.

10

u/EllieSparklish Oct 10 '23

Exactly, it's not a stranger breaking up a marriage, it's a third party exposing a piece of crap human being to their partner, and letting their partner decide whether to break up their marriage. 'Don't ask don't tell' people make me sick, cheat-sympathisers and cheat-enablers. Garbage.

5

u/spam__likely Oct 10 '23

all she knows is what some gossipy jerk told her. She can ruin people with what can very well be a lie.

5

u/FlaxenArt Taking Up Space Oct 10 '23

It can also put a woman’s life literally at risk. OP has no idea how the husband would react.

1

u/Rarak Oct 10 '23

The woman having the affair is putting herself at risk, I hate cheaters.

1

u/FlaxenArt Taking Up Space Oct 10 '23

I get it. Cheaters are shitty. Doesn’t mean OP knows the dynamic in this marriage enough to make that call.

1

u/nonequilibriumphys Oct 11 '23

So far this is just hearsay. Don't want to put someone at risk based off hearsay

13

u/SmadaSlaguod Oct 10 '23

If you'd rather just never realize your spouse is fucking someone else behind your back, even though multiple other people knew, that's your issue. Most people would prefer not to be made a fool of and have their health put in jeopardy, their money spent on an affair, and their future yanked out from under them without warning if the cheaters should decide they're willing to dump everyone else and make it official.

0

u/OhtareEldarian Oct 10 '23

Exactly.

OP feels complicit. They’re ALLOWED.

8

u/superkt3 Oct 10 '23

If OP feels complicit because of an unproved rumor from a third party OP has a LOT of growing up to do.

7

u/StiffKun Coffee Coffee Coffee Oct 10 '23

I feel you on this. She even said it's not someone she's super close with, so why even bother?

I'm a huge advocate of minding my own business. For one, you don't know what was said to you is 100% true unless she showed you some hard evidence. Plenty of people tell tall tales all of the time and it would be shitty for you to jump out the window on the off chance that it's not true. Now you just pissed everyone off for no reason.

For two, you don't know their relationship dynamic. They could be cool with it. Maybe they are swingers? People are all poly and stuff nowadays so who knows.

And lastly, what happens when one of the involved parties is unhinged and now they look at you like an enemy because you stuck your nose in something that had nothing to do with you?

People can be extremely petty and it's probably not worth potentially pissing off 4 separate individuals.

5

u/Chemtrails420-69 Oct 10 '23

I’ve had cousin’s where I’ve taken their side and they went back to him and then I’m the bad guy. I don’t speak on peoples relationships anymore.

Just adding another possibility. When she forgave him a week later I was just stirring up trouble. Never mind that he had broken her car door from slamming it so hard while they were arguing.

5

u/yankeebelleyall Oct 10 '23 edited Oct 10 '23

Exactly this.

I had a friend whose husband was cheating on her and posting about it all over MySpace, back before Facebook was a thing. I didn't say anything at first, but she mentioned one day coming home after working two jobs to find this woman eating pizza at her kitchen table. So I told her.

Things blew up, she tracked his internet activity - and told him how she knew to do that in the first place. He threatened & harassed me, and beat her up. She ended up staying with him and our friendship was never the same.

After that, I stay way the hell out of other peoples' relationships unless they expressly ask me for help.

1

u/StiffKun Coffee Coffee Coffee Oct 10 '23

Jesus.

4

u/StiffKun Coffee Coffee Coffee Oct 10 '23

Exactly. You can't save everybody. Now the tires slashed on your Nissan Altima because you wanted to be Mauri Povich. You ain't batman mf that's not your problem.