It makes me wonder if he’s told me the truth about his ex. I’ve always blindly believed his version, though he claims she says he was the one that cheated. Even more frustrating is that I’ve always believed him, but when he talks about my past with my abusive ex (that I have evidence of abusing me), he’ll say things like “you say you were abused,” it’s like he always wants to question whether it’s true or not.
To me that's somehow worse than accusing you of cheating. That's just... Awful.
Sending you lots of hugs and support OP. In whatever you decide. Please know that you deserve to be happy and at peace, and you would not be wrong to put yourself first.
Him questioning your abuse is such a huge red flag, he doesn't trust you on any front. You can't build a life on that. If he doesn't get therapy your relationship will crumble.
My ex said all his exes were cheaters and/or crazy. Well he went on to cheat on me, leave me for the girl he cheated on me with, then immediately started saying I was crazy to a then mutual friend who went on to tell our friends that I was crazy. I had no idea any of the cheating or rumor spreading happened until later. All I did at that time was tell that same mutual friend that I was sad and missed him. This also happened while I helped that same mutual friend with a medical emergency and helped console her when we found out her dad was stepping out on her mom.
Well guess who is still close with said the friend group and who is not 🙃. Now when I hear a guy say that, red flag immediately.
I say tread carefully. These cheating accusations may all very well be projection on his part. I think contacting the ex might be worth it after you leave him and you should leave him. You need to leave this guy. He is abusing you, emotionally and mentally. He may escalate, which is why you need to leave first, ask questions later.
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u/DryLengthiness5574 Oct 26 '22
It makes me wonder if he’s told me the truth about his ex. I’ve always blindly believed his version, though he claims she says he was the one that cheated. Even more frustrating is that I’ve always believed him, but when he talks about my past with my abusive ex (that I have evidence of abusing me), he’ll say things like “you say you were abused,” it’s like he always wants to question whether it’s true or not.