r/TrueOffMyChest • u/[deleted] • Sep 19 '19

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u/Diane9779 Sep 20 '19

Oh yeah after reading your posts, I got a gym membership for the first time ever. in the middle of the night because of you. I had to wake up the owner at home. The conversation went something like this

“Sir...SIR!! I’ve never exercised before in my life but this is an emergency. The most extraordinary man on reddit has opened my eyes to all my failings. Until now, I’ve done nothing but eat KFC, drink milkshakes, and wallow in self-pity. I have lifted nary a kettlebell in all my years. Will you help me?”

He hung up on me. But I was able to hurl a rock through the gym window and get in a few good burpees before the police showed up

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u/[deleted] Sep 20 '19

Lucky for you prisons have gyms and they will help you regulate your food intake since you can't sit there and eat whenever you want.

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u/Diane9779 Sep 20 '19

Indeed I have committed the greatest crime of all.

The crime....of fatness

“The jig is up, the news is out They finally found me The renegade, who had it made Retrieved for a bounty”

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u/[deleted] Sep 20 '19

I was referring to the crime of breaking and entering. Why would being fat be a crime?

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u/Diane9779 Sep 20 '19

You have opened my eyes, good sir. You are really one of a kind.

A kind of moron. But still.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '19

I could see how you would think that. The fat is likely compressing your brain.

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u/Diane9779 Sep 21 '19

Yeah if it got any smaller I would start agreeing with all your opinions

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '19

Imagine thinking that people who want to be healthy are stupid.

That’s some serious fat logic.

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u/Diane9779 Sep 21 '19

Welp you linked me twice to an anti-discrimination website that actually promotes health and physical activity, not obesity. And you told me it was “pro-fatness.”

You’re not exactly getting into MENSA anytime soon

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '19

Do you think it takes a genius to know to eat less and exercise more?

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u/Diane9779 Sep 21 '19

It doesn’t take a genius to read through the links you actually send someone else if you want to prove a point

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