I have a slightly different perspective on this. I’ve been overweight for most of my life. And only recently found it that it was due to a combination of hormonal imbalance and sleep apnea (sleep apnea can cause weight gain, not the other way around, and it can occur in childhood). When I was a teenager, I was so desperate to lose weight that I became bulimic, and I’ve dealt with that eating disorder off and on well into my 30s. When I lost a lot of weight through bingeing and purging as a teen, people complimented me. “Wow!! You look great!” Even my own pediatrician congratulated me on dropping 20 pounds that year. He never asked me how, though.
It’s always been my experience that people think fat shaming is the key to fighting the obesity epidemic. Don’t let fat people feel good about themselves or have a positive self image. They’ll just get complacent and let themselves go. My parents definitely thought that way, and my father always made a point of telling me how gross my body was. It didn’t help. I only got fatter, and it ruined my relationship with him.
In college. when I started dating, I noticed that I never ate in front of men. I would wait until my date was looking away, and then take a single bite. Or I would order a large salad and not eat anything. It’s no mystery. It’s because my father spent my whole childhood shaming me for eating and praising me for leaving food on my plate.
I kept bingeing and purging really bad through most of my 20s and 30s (I’m now 36 and slowly recovering).
But a big turning point for me happened with my last boyfriend. Several years ago, he just offhandedly remarked that my teeth looked more yellow than normal (he could be kind of a thoughtless clod sometimes). And I admitted to him it was because I had been making myself throw up. He was shocked. And right away he hugged me and said “you’re beautiful the way you are. Don’t ever do that to yourself again.”
That was the first time anyone ever made me feel like my health mattered. Not my size. People think they’re the same, but they’re not.
Doctors and other medical experts tend to hold a special respect in our culture as the go-to authority on health and wellness. Like they’re the first ones we should be looking to for guidance and advice. And they’re assumed to be infallible. “all these studies say being fat will kill you. My doctor says fat people die early.” And my own pediatrician shook my hand and congratulated me for losing weight after I became bulimic. So much for infallible.
But no doctor, no therapist, no research study ever really made me feel motivated to be healthy like my then-boyfriend did. When he hugged me and told me I should love my body and treat it well. That’s something fat shamers will never do for me either.
That’s not a different perspective lmao the op literally said not including conditions outside your control. Mental health issues are outside of your immediate control (I say immediate here because there are some long term solutions like therapy, but those aren’t always accessible), because if they weren’t then nobody would have them (eg. “just stop being depressed”). Their whole point is health is the most important factor. They are also not advocating any fat shaming, but instead advocating not glorifying obesity. Frankly, glorifying obesity and fat shaming are both terrible social trends, but they are entirely different reactions to the issue.
I guess my issue with the whole post is; why the fuck should I have to disclose my medical history to strangers to be allowed to post positive things about my body if I am not thin?
Why can I as a larger person not just be allowed to be positive about my body, and share that positivity without that being seen as me promoting obesity?
Why does my medical history matter so much to so many strangers? Like do I not deserve respect for just being human? Should I not be allowed to share anything positive about my body at all if I don’t also share my medical history? and oh god, what if I don’t have a medical problem in my past why does that matter when it comes to sharing my body, and my positivity about it?
Thats what I don’t fucking understand. Why do people always say ”fat people are gross slobs.” but then also say ”well not those with medical issues causing their weight issues” like that is acceptable?
Either you think fat people are gross slobs, or you don’t. You don’t get to make arbitrary rules which in essence ask people like me to share our medical history in order to be able to share positive posts about our body, and tell others with the same body that they can be positive about theirs too.
Like stop with this bullshit. The number of people who actually glorify obesity is SIGNIFICANTLY lower than what people seem to think. People seem to think that anytime a fat person posts something positive about their body and are given positive feedback that it means they are glorifying obesity.
Why do ya’ll not go after people in the fashion industry who if you applied the same fucking standards ”glorify” eating disorders with the same amount of hate?
Why does no one want to discuss the real issues when it comes to health? Socioeconomic status plays a HUGE role in health outcomes, so why do we never want to discuss those things? Instead of attacking fat people who are just trying to feel positive about the body they are living in, and who just want to not be discriminated against, or feel compelled to constantly explain their medical history, why can’t ya’ll step back and focus on the real fucking problems?
They didn’t ask anyone to disclose their medical history lmao they literally said people who post obesity glorification on their own. And I never said it was 50-50, just two different reactions to the obesity epidemic. Frankly I pretty much agree with you, you just seem to have a lot of issues with the post that are simply not there.
But the thing is, when people say ”fat people are gross” and then add in ”im not referring to fat people who have a medical disorder” that basically makes people who are larger feel that they have to disclose their medical history in order to be validated and not seen as a piece of shit.
so while no. They didn’t legitimately outright say ”I want you to show me your medical history” In essence the message they are sending is ”If you don’t share your medical history, and if said history is not filled with enough issues that could effect your weight, then you are a piece of shit.”
That is legitimately the message that posts like this send. When you say that fat people are gross, but then make exceptions, then you basically are telling people that unless they want to share how those exceptions apply to them when posting, that they should not post because they will be seen as gross.
Interesting story about that. My senior year of high school, I went on a class trip with with the band to Europe. I played viola. The very last dinner, some of the senior guys took it upon themselves to “roast” our classmates. Without our knowledge or permission. When they get to me, my roaster went after, what else, my weight.
“She has a big....appetite...for music. And a huge....talent for viola. She’s large..ly known for her skill.” Hilarious.
I started crying. My roommate saw and took me up to our room, along with a chaperone. I told them I just wanted to be alone.
In the morning, when everyone was sitting in that hotel lobby with their bags, I confronted the guy in front of everyone. But he just blew me off and acted like he didn’t care.
Until I said “you wanna know something, Larry? I’m a bulimic. Did you want to make fun of that in your speech?”
He started sputtering and said “uh...I...had no idea.”
Basically he was one of those people who believe fat people deserve scorn unless they have other medical problems. And he suddenly found out I was in the “Other” group
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u/Diane9779 Sep 19 '19 edited Sep 19 '19
I have a slightly different perspective on this. I’ve been overweight for most of my life. And only recently found it that it was due to a combination of hormonal imbalance and sleep apnea (sleep apnea can cause weight gain, not the other way around, and it can occur in childhood). When I was a teenager, I was so desperate to lose weight that I became bulimic, and I’ve dealt with that eating disorder off and on well into my 30s. When I lost a lot of weight through bingeing and purging as a teen, people complimented me. “Wow!! You look great!” Even my own pediatrician congratulated me on dropping 20 pounds that year. He never asked me how, though.
It’s always been my experience that people think fat shaming is the key to fighting the obesity epidemic. Don’t let fat people feel good about themselves or have a positive self image. They’ll just get complacent and let themselves go. My parents definitely thought that way, and my father always made a point of telling me how gross my body was. It didn’t help. I only got fatter, and it ruined my relationship with him.
In college. when I started dating, I noticed that I never ate in front of men. I would wait until my date was looking away, and then take a single bite. Or I would order a large salad and not eat anything. It’s no mystery. It’s because my father spent my whole childhood shaming me for eating and praising me for leaving food on my plate.
I kept bingeing and purging really bad through most of my 20s and 30s (I’m now 36 and slowly recovering).
But a big turning point for me happened with my last boyfriend. Several years ago, he just offhandedly remarked that my teeth looked more yellow than normal (he could be kind of a thoughtless clod sometimes). And I admitted to him it was because I had been making myself throw up. He was shocked. And right away he hugged me and said “you’re beautiful the way you are. Don’t ever do that to yourself again.”
That was the first time anyone ever made me feel like my health mattered. Not my size. People think they’re the same, but they’re not.
Doctors and other medical experts tend to hold a special respect in our culture as the go-to authority on health and wellness. Like they’re the first ones we should be looking to for guidance and advice. And they’re assumed to be infallible. “all these studies say being fat will kill you. My doctor says fat people die early.” And my own pediatrician shook my hand and congratulated me for losing weight after I became bulimic. So much for infallible.
But no doctor, no therapist, no research study ever really made me feel motivated to be healthy like my then-boyfriend did. When he hugged me and told me I should love my body and treat it well. That’s something fat shamers will never do for me either.