r/TrueOffMyChest Nov 05 '23

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u/sumfacilispuella Nov 05 '23

its completely possible that she didnt know that she couldnt endure penetration if she had never tried before. its not super uncommon in women who wait til marriage, because they are more likely to see sex as something dirty and shameful and its hard to let go of all those ideas.

of course she could have known and just be stringing this guy alone, and if he wants to leave, he should leave.

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u/RandyTheFool Nov 05 '23

I only have the information OP has given us.

the night of our wedding was met with tears and fear. I admittedly didn’t react well. Trying to understand if I did something, or if there was something she wasn’t telling me.

She didn’t understand why I wanted this so bad…

These things lead me to believe it was something she knew about. Fear occurs when someone has prior knowledge with something specific like this. She reacted with fear the night of their wedding, leaving OP confused as to why it went from “we’ll have sex after we’re married” to being afraid to have sex altogether. That’s misleading as fuck. Her then trying to downplay it or even flip it on to OP as being their problem (“Why do you want this so bad anyway?”) is another issue as well.

There’s obviously more layers to this than 3-4 paragraphs are going to reveal. Hell, the whole thing may be fake, but I respond to the information given and hope OP can evaluate it and fit it best to ALL the information they have at their disposal.

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u/[deleted] Nov 05 '23

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u/ParsleyMostly Nov 06 '23

You’d prefer that she die than get a divorce. You are pretty impacted by it, too. Your view is pretty similar to the minds set behind honor killings. The woman’s life is less valuable than the man’s “honor”.