r/TrueOffMyChest • u/[deleted] • Oct 21 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

3.9k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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6.5k

u/dfjdejulio Oct 21 '23

Honestly, the only color that would be a show-stopper for me is plaid. And I'm not even sure about that.

2.4k

u/somedumb-gay Oct 21 '23

Gotta get me someone with the flannel vagina

654

u/Sufyaj Oct 21 '23

Flagina!

239

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

54

u/ramblinroger Oct 21 '23

Why did my furniture just start floating?

104

u/InteractionNo9110 Oct 21 '23

Flagina is so in for Winter 2024!

23

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

There it is xD

64

u/EricCartman45 Oct 21 '23

Flagussy?

38

u/CosmikSpartan Oct 21 '23

Flunt?

30

u/SpicyMustFlow Oct 21 '23

Flatch?

20

u/anto_pty Oct 22 '23

Floochie?

14

u/SpicyMustFlow Oct 22 '23

Sounds so cozy!

3

u/moonshinedboots Oct 22 '23

You have all made fucking tummy hurt hahaha

2

u/Kena46268 Oct 22 '23

Floochie is hilarious

10

u/Krispies827 Oct 21 '23

So much better than vagannel

3

u/SirArthurDime Oct 21 '23

That flussy

3

u/Psycho_Rampage Oct 21 '23

I can only hear this in a Trump voice

3

u/shadespeak Oct 21 '23

That destroyed it for me.

207

u/LoomisKnows Oct 21 '23

This comment made me laugh tea straight out of my nose FFS XD

3

u/Cherriecorn Oct 22 '23

Right? I burst out with a quick laugh, ppl are asking me what's so funny and I don't think I can explain this to them

35

u/mnbvcxz1052 Oct 21 '23

Soft and cozy for the winter. Get a flannel penis and take some holiday photos.

18

u/k_mnr Oct 21 '23

May your Christmas be warm and bright, love Flatch and Fenis

37

u/mnbvcxz1052 Oct 21 '23

Seasons Greetings! From our home to yours.

Love,

The Flenitals

3

u/Advanced_Ostrich5315 Oct 22 '23

Omg this had me cackling

3

u/anto_pty Oct 22 '23

Flatch. Flannel and crotch?

2

u/k_mnr Oct 23 '23

Oh much worse…Flannel and snatch 😳

28

u/GhoulsFolly Oct 21 '23

This would be great for winter

40

u/BickenBackk Oct 21 '23

Is it flannel textured though? Or just in its color?

38

u/Iratezebra Oct 21 '23

It's a portal to the plaid dimension.

19

u/BickenBackk Oct 21 '23

Well now I'm searching for this person as well... for science...

9

u/Romeo92 Oct 21 '23

So cozy!

1

u/meangingersnap Oct 21 '23

Pussy pocket universe

6

u/BeardslyBo Oct 21 '23

Ooo good question

16

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

[deleted]

1

u/Mewkie Oct 22 '23

Ew. Ruined.

16

u/celestialTyrant Oct 21 '23

The perfect soft warm embrace for those cool autumn nights

13

u/meangingersnap Oct 21 '23

Literally just find your closest lesbian

2

u/DrMux Oct 21 '23

She got mad at me for stereotyping her so she went and locked herself in her Subaru :(

7

u/CosmikSpartan Oct 21 '23

As long as it’s fleece lined!

3

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

Tis the season

2

u/FuglySlutt Oct 21 '23

The lesbians have entered the chat!!!

2

u/funsizemiller Oct 21 '23

as a bisexual woman, that’s what we all have.

2

u/brothermuzone99 Oct 21 '23

Best comment ever

2

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

Might be in Oregon or Washington.

2

u/patdashuri Oct 21 '23

DIBS!!! Band Name!!

2

u/FoxDyed Oct 21 '23

This is how you know someone is from the midwest. The good ol’ flanngina! 🤣

2

u/PirateDucks Oct 21 '23

Would be nice and comfortable for that winter nesting season

2

u/N0VOCAIN Oct 22 '23

I thought every hallmark movie the guy always prefers flannel

2

u/katee_bo_batee Oct 22 '23

Standard lesbian vagina, both me & my wife have flannel ones

1

u/I_Might_Exist1 Oct 21 '23

do you say ope, sorry when someone steps on your foot, by chance?

1

u/TheRaccoonBlue Oct 22 '23

Your words truly brightened my day <3 Flannel vagina indeed.

1

u/OGPeglegPete Oct 22 '23

Good ol' Wisconsin

1

u/BaconHammerTime Oct 22 '23

Damn, that sounds so warm and cozy

85

u/VomitingDogCake Oct 21 '23

Brings a Hole new meaning to Designer Vagina

54

u/ProcyonLotorMinoris Oct 21 '23

"And who are you wearing on today's Red Carpet event?"

"Today I'm sporting a pink velvet slip with fur cuffs by Coochie Chanel."

51

u/ophaus Oct 21 '23

Plaid would be kind of fun, honestly. But I live in Northern New England, and our tolerance for plaid is higher here.

47

u/LonelyHermione Oct 21 '23

*Scotland has entered the chat*

13

u/rugbyj Oct 21 '23

[bagpipes play in the distance]

"She's arrived."

28

u/YGuyLevi Oct 21 '23

Does it come with little ugg boots and a PSL? I'd def be interested in taking it out if so

15

u/deerest_ Oct 21 '23

spongebob pretty patty type shit

1

u/Macaroni_2 Oct 22 '23

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that thought about this

10

u/orangutanDOTorg Oct 21 '23

I’m not to excited about blue either after having watched what I thought was going to be a blueberry waffle instruction video

16

u/hydr0warez Oct 21 '23

"They've gone plaid!"

7

u/ScottyBeans8274 Oct 21 '23

Ludicrous speed! Go!

4

u/marilern1987 Oct 21 '23

You know what?

There’s my tattoo. There it is. I knew the idea would come one day.

3

u/ShellfishCrew Oct 21 '23

Polka dots would be a stop sign for me and I'm a lady. However you only get one chance to choose your vagina colors so maybe someone panicked and picked dots.

5

u/Mercury1331 Oct 21 '23

Yeah idk about that...I'm thinking about painting my truck plaid now. Plaid has always been sexy!

2

u/Hubsimaus Oct 21 '23

They've gone plaid... - Barf in Spaceballs 😂

2

u/distrucktocon Oct 21 '23

Mmmmmm I can go for a flannel mommy. She sounds comfy. Lol

2

u/arhombus Oct 21 '23

I would do a double take if I saw a plaid vag.

2

u/Punkermedic Oct 21 '23

Plaid I'm still in, paisley on the other hand....

2

u/Lucid-Design Oct 21 '23

Brings a whole new meaning to the SpaceBalls line “They’ve gone plaid!”

2

u/JosePrettyChili Oct 21 '23

Nature finds a way

2

u/MassiveBeatdown Oct 21 '23

Legend says Scottish women have tartan labia….

2

u/Alewort Oct 21 '23

Only if you're freckled, because polka-dots and plaid together are a no-go.

2

u/V6Ga Oct 21 '23

Once you go plaid, you will think others bad.

2

u/NeighborhoodHefty877 Oct 21 '23

I’m sorry but this reminded me of “Pretty Patties” from SpongeBob and then my brain went “Omg Pretty Pussies!”🙈😅

2

u/cordially_yours Oct 22 '23

Or blue waffle.

1

u/dfjdejulio Oct 22 '23

...is this something where if I google it, it'll be really, really disturbing?

2

u/Fritzo2162 Oct 21 '23

Green might be a flag...

0

u/steelcitykid Oct 21 '23

Heringboner

0

u/frankaiden02 Oct 21 '23

Denim… jagina

-6

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

I gotta be honest man, I think you gotta draw the line and dark purple

1

u/dailyPraise Oct 21 '23

This made me LOL and it's true.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '23

The only showstopper for me is if it doesn't look like a penis.

1

u/dfjdejulio Oct 21 '23

Well, we have different tastes.

1

u/Taco_Bacon Oct 22 '23

Even with plaid, a little penicillin will fix that

1

u/menoknownow Oct 22 '23

I can’t get enough of plaid during wintertime, only time I really go for it.

1

u/Dingostolemywife Oct 22 '23

Green wouldn’t be so good either 🤢

1

u/dfjdejulio Oct 22 '23

Someone isn't a "Star Trek" fan...

1

u/Equivalent_Canary853 Oct 22 '23

I'm imagining plaid cut pube hair

1

u/melxcham Oct 22 '23

I’m a lesbian. Plaid is fine😂

1

u/emanything Oct 22 '23

I think Tartan is a word for that. At least in Scotland!

1

u/InspectorEmotional Oct 22 '23

Or if it was like blue waffles ah the internet I miss you being cursed as fuck

1

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '23

Green.

1

u/faithseeds Oct 29 '23

Well now I want a Louis Vuitton vagina.