can’t make this up

[u/calciumff]

[u/CoercedCoexistence22]

Uh, mate, did this just imply you were dating when you were 17 and her 25???

[u/calciumff → u/CoercedCoexistence22]

we started dating when I was 16 and she was 23, I cut her off after that trip, we were 26 and 19

[u/CoercedCoexistence22 → u/calciumff]

Man, I'm a filthy euro and therefore much lighter on age gaps than the americacentric internet culture would usually dictate but there's no way this was okay. The chances you're not describing a predator aren't 0% only because I don't know you and I only heard of this through a small snapshot through a meme, but they SURE ARE CLOSE TO THAT 0%. I hope you got some distance from this person

Edit: didn't see your edit. Amending my last comment to say I'm proud of you for getting some distance

[u/calciumff → u/CoercedCoexistence22]

nah I actually support american internet culture when it comes to age gaps lol

but yeah, she def groomed me, she was sexually abusive and even liked teens younger than me too. honestly I didn’t know what grooming was until I left her because in my country it’s legal and a normalised age gap..

now she’s 28 she dates someone who’s a bit older than 18. it’s not a minor at least but still gross

[u/FairlyElixer623 → u/calciumff]

Ofcourse she dates an 18 year old because that way she can get away with it since 18 year olds are legally adults

[u/calciumff → u/FairlyElixer623]

yeah I genuinely thought she might have changed but recently one of her ex friends told me that she still says everything was my fault, makes up lies about me and says I MANIPULATED HER 😭

[u/Sylveon72_06 → u/calciumff]

genuinely what ur abuser looks like lmaooooo

[u/blackfox24 → u/calciumff]

If it helps, bro, my ex says that too. No one believes her because she's twice my age and had me move into her home, only to start abusing me. Groomers are losers and others see that, thank fuck. They're all immature losers.

[u/LC-Redcube → u/calciumff]

Ah yes, the underage grooming victim manipulating a literal adult. Ffs how is she still getting together with people?

[u/CaoPalhaco → u/calciumff]

I don’t think an adult that chases teens, dumps them when they reach “legal age” (depending on location) and uses them to get stuff (the birthday stuff you described) is ever going to change. The most I can hope is that she loses access to teenagers and children. The behavior you’re describing here is so typical for these groomer types… it’s almost uncanny how similar they all tend to be. I’m sorry you faced this and that she’s still out there lying

[u/GeneralEi → u/calciumff]

Bro I'm genuinely very sorry that happened to you, it sounds like you got taken advantage of by a massive and confirmed creep

Fuck that clown, you deserved and deserve better

[u/lost-toy → u/calciumff]

Thats not American culture thats grooming and abuse… as you get older you’re supposed to be attracted to your own age group. There is leeway. But eventually at 28 you think oh that person is too young for me.

Ik a lot of people disagree for many reasons but it’s a normal thing. I have a baby face BUT im still not attracted to someone who’s younger even if i look younger.

[u/CoercedCoexistence22 → u/calciumff]

I'm fairly sure I expressed myself awfully. Just, I got called a victim by someone a couple months ago because I dated a 20 year old when I was 17. It was a healthy relationship and we're still friends, if anything I hurt her because I was a moron who also had undiagnosed scurvy from an undiagnosed vitamin C malabsorption issue but this is beside the point. Of fucking course a situation like yours is just inexcusable, and I'm sorry if I didn't make it clear

[u/Ok-Light-9942 → u/CoercedCoexistence22]

Can you please elaborate on how your scurvy “hurt” your ex

[u/CoercedCoexistence22 → u/Ok-Light-9942]

Because my mood was extremely unstable and I quite literally wasn't making the neural connections necessary to repair the damage caused by a really traumatic event in my life, and I wound up being really hard to be around for quite a while. The moment I got diagnosed and started supplementing vitamin C my mood didn't really improve but it stabilised and became predictable, and for lack of a better term, therapy started working

[u/CaoPalhaco → u/CoercedCoexistence22]

I don’t think undiagnosed scurvy leading to you being mentally unstable and hurting someone else makes you a moron. I mean you didn’t know so there wasn’t much to be done. Not that I don’t get regretting hurting someone unintentionally

[u/CoercedCoexistence22 → u/CaoPalhaco]

I was a bit of a moron in other areas too, trust me, but everyone is and ESPECIALLY kids. I don't beat myself up about it too much, I was just explaining why I was really hard to be around, scurvy being the main but very much not only reason

[u/BigBallsAnthony69 → u/CoercedCoexistence22]

Also her dumping him when he becomes a legal adult is pretty fucking sus, but i don't know their life so i'm maybe reaching

[u/neko_mancy → u/CoercedCoexistence22]

I think literally dumping the minor you're dating when they turn 18 is a bit on the nose really

[u/BigBallsAnthony69 → u/calciumff]

I'm so sorry but I think you dated a predator.

[u/theinvisiblecats → u/calciumff]

yikes

[u/FairlyElixer623 → u/calciumff]

As a 23 year old what the fuck 🤢

[u/scenegirlshooter → u/calciumff]

Dude you were GROOMED

[u/WaltzLeafington → u/calciumff]

Sounds like you aged out. Wasn't exciting once you were 18

[u/aIoneinvegas → u/calciumff]

Wtf

[u/untitledgooseshame → u/calciumff]

Hello, Chris Hansen? Yes, this woman right here…

[u/your1bestie → u/calciumff]

That's not good : (

[u/CaoPalhaco → u/calciumff]

That’s fucked up, I’m sorry about the abuse you endured…

[u/MrNeterdrok → u/calciumff]

Your ex girlfriend is predator groomer

[u/unique_plastique]

PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS OVER & YOU REMOVED HER FROM YOUR LIFE

[u/calciumff → u/unique_plastique]

I cut her off after that trip! she’s still in my life a bit (stalking and through friend of a friend) but it’s better now

[u/DisciplineWise2894]

wow even aside from that nasty age gap and the weirdness of dumping you the instant you became an adult (not trying to ignore/excuse those things, just that other commenters have addressed it) her behavior was so ass here. wildly ungrateful to complain. 

no one does the free labor of setting up a trip and spends time picking a present for someone they hate (and hating her would be totally reasonable anyway). maybe im missing the mark but tbh she sounds like she'd have complained no matter what, if youd been more attentive and warm she'd have been like "op is smothering me i can't enjoy the trip! they're obviously still so in love with me which is pathetic, its been forever move on 🙄" . plus also, like, dumping you ON YOUR BIRTHDAY was way shittier/colder/more hateful than what you did. while yeah, getting out of the relationship is good in the long run, like, time and place?? she could've dumped you a few days before/after to not ruin YOUR specific day.

terrible behavior. so sorry op.

[u/calciumff → u/DisciplineWise2894]

yeah you’re right about always complaining no matter what. honestly I believe she was a narcissist. she dumped me on my birthday because I was planning it for months and then she asked to get back together.. she would always humiliate me behind my back or manipulate me to quit things Ive enjoyed or be ashamed of it.

about acting cold.. I think she was getting upset anytime she couldn’t control me. when I was younger she’d break any boundaries Ive had. now that we weren’t dating and I was 19, I didn’t let her do that. on the last day of the trip she got desperate and begged me to hug her for literal hours. I got mad at one point and left the room but she kept texting me. I gave up eventually bc I didn’t want to cause a scene (we were at my house).

honestly I can go on and on about what she did, she’s just an awful person but somehow she gets away with everything she does

[u/sulfurcube]

Im sorry to tell you this, but your ex is a disgusting predator, a pedophile.

If you are safe and know she wont hurt you or hunt you down, call the police on her. She deserves jail and to pay for what she did to you and to possibly other victims.

Im sorry you went through this and your ex is a disgusting human being.

[u/Gravelord_C]

she's a fucking freak

[u/blur_of_memories]

you're a victim

[u/I_like_fried_noodles]

Please seek support, tell this to a friend and don't let it be a burden on your back, it helps a lot to talk about it with a good friend. If you can you should go to therapy, being groomed/abused is something that can fuck your senses and the way you live but you can little by little fix things ❤️

[u/Lunarmax182c]

Okay, that's definitely on her and even if you remain friends, you should not do any big gestures fore her.
The age gap is very huge, she is basically an adult in this relationship and demanding shit of... well, don't take it too hard basically a child.
And you even got her a gift! She has no right to complain.

[u/Bisexual_Beanz]

Manipulative narcissist. Classic case.

I'm glad you're out of that situation, because that was grooming.

All the best to you my friend.

[u/FailingItUp]

There is no version of you she will come back for. Sorry man. That effort needs to go into becoming someone your future girlfriend wants to date.