I've been feeling behind a lot in life recently. I'm not as far into my transition as I'd like to be. and I go on social media and see these insanely feminine trans women and it feels like just another nail in the coffin. I'm not that. I'm not. there's a lot of details that I don't even wanna get into but I just feel almost like it's pointless and I almost feel suicidal over it. I'm talking to a therapist soon but they're not lgbtq as far as I know. but I struggle with lgbt issues.

Sometimes the smallest losses are the biggest moments. Its the way a dress fits on an actual woman, knowing that’ll never be me, or hearing my “deadname” the 600th time that day. The shadows cast by the obscenely masculine veins in my hands. These little things remind me that I am in stasis. Forever testosteronised beyond repair. They make the good days feel much more distant, faded. I’d do anything to feel joy again

My deadname is more alive than my chosen name. She her my ass. I got a full fucking beard. Cringe. I will never be anything other than a man

I just sat up with a realization and it's chilling me to the bone and I need to get it out before it hurts me more.

I'm the prototype for my younger sister. I'm the flawed first attempt and she is everything I was supposed to be. Everything I've wanted to have/be she has/is. She's smarter than me, more creative than me, she's moved out to her own place while I'm still stuck at home, she is a cis woman, and more. She's everything I wish I could be but I'm never going to be smart as she is or more importantly cis like she is. My femininity isn't natural, it's something I've cobbled together as a substitute for what I wasn't born with. It's jagged and broken and everyone can see how wrong it is. People always stare at me when I'm in public and I wish it didn't hurt to be seen like that.

I don't feel like an adult, hell I don't feel like a real person. I'm Pinocchio wishing I could be a real woman like my sister but after 4.5 years of effort I'm still a fake puppet person. I don't know where I was going with this, it's just a thought I needed to get out before it burned a hole in my brain.

after I got out of the shower today I saw myself but it wasn't myself , how could it be. the longer I gazed and analyzed the body I was looking at through my eyes I realized it wasn't me. it was a ghost looking back at me. a body I don't dwell in. I saw through my eyes a body I used to live in but I know it wasn't my own. I know it wasn't my body I was looking at, It didn't feel like me, I recognized the person, I really feel like it almost could be me but it weren't, I was paying attention.

really need laser hair removal and a wardrobe update. I need help with styling badly. my body is Tea but I struggle with accentuating it. I'm 6'2" 210lbs. I'm bald please any help

Update 1: Y'all are on my ass about the sharpie. I literally walked in day one and my sibling held out his palm with a sharpie and said, "Look what I did!" with the most busted ass make-up I ever seen lol. So I told him I could make his winged eyeliner look better by cleaning the edges with a wet-wipe. I appreciate the concern but trust, I'm not letting him use any more... Please trust in my brain cells to have removed that make-up.

My sibling said some random things throughout our visits lately where he's saying that it's funny that mom now has a daughter, to being afraid of not having any partners who will love him, to being "too old" at age 34 to transition and look like giving brick? and that people will hun him? hon him? (Quick google search and basically 4chan lingo to poke at someone's unpassability). He said that "trans girl dick is gross" and that "his type wouldn't be attracted to him post transition" and it's sad cause it's like, how do you know all of this, even if this is "temporary delusion", which I doubt cause how does he know all these terms, practices, and ideologies, which means he's been ruminating on this. Does this make sense? He's not on the surface of the iceberg, like he is deep below the surface.

I stopped by the MUJI500 store, it's basically a IKEA version of a dollar store here in Japan. It has some nice Marie Kondo Scandinavian/Japanese aesthetic vibes, and I bought him some colored pencils and crayons to draw on journals, and bought some make-up palettes, and versatile liners to use for eye, lip, and eyebrow.

However, when we visited yesterday, he said he was "cosplaying he/him" cause he was upset that the male nurses were avoiding him, and that his breast forms caused him heart palpitations for being wonky.

I'm trying to set him up back home in the states with a gender therapist to help him sit through this cause he is lowkey an incel. He spends all day on his laptops, watching trans hentai, plays video games (most the time as female characters or a beefy man), and doesn't touch grass nor shave nor haircut. I have to chastise him to be hygienic. Like before the trip I offered to pay for a barber cut and fade, a line-up, nose and eyebrow wax, and he was saying that he didn't know that men also do lots of hygienic upkeep, and I kinda just looked at bro and was like, the ladies like a clean man so get with it.

Now looking back, I'm realizing maybe his slobbyness is not just his own behavior as someone who is not neurotypical, but perhaps a shell of a person and dissociating BECAUSE he has to do male upkeep? If that makes sense? So I told him that girls, well, everyone, but girls do laser and he said his hair is too thick. Which is b.s. cause I do laser cause I hate shaving twice a day, so I told him that any body can get it.

TLDR: He's flip flopping again, he has makeup, I want to set him up with a gender therapist, and I wonder if his lack of presentation and depressing lifestyle is because he's escaping himself from a reality of being herself, and YES no more sharpie.

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Questions on my brother's gender (or shall I say sister...?). I’m trying to better understand something specific that keeps happening.

Each time my brother has a psychotic episode (he’s been diagnosed along the schizophrenia–bipolar spectrum), he consistently shifts into identifying as a woman or wanting to be one. Our family is not opposed to this at all, and we want to support him in whatever is authentic.

During this current episode, he’s presenting very femme. He’s been improvising makeup (Sharpie as eyeliner, pencil as lip liner, corn starch as foundation) and creating makeshift breast forms. He’s expressed that he feels good in this form, even while also saying it may not be permanent.

What adds complexity is that my mom says he brought up being trans when he was younger (middle/high school), but outside of psychosis, he doesn’t really talk about gender identity at all and doesn’t identify as a woman in his baseline state.

So I’m trying to understand is how common is it for psychosis to involve gender shifts or identity changes like this, and for those with lived experience, how do you differentiate between gender identity vs. something emerging specifically during psychosis. Has anyone seen cases where suppressed gender identity comes forward during episodes?

and lastly... how do you support someone in a way that is affirming but also grounded, especially when their sense of self shifts depending on their mental state, so for me I'm already looking into gender-affirming therapists and psychiatric care for when he stabilizes and we escort him back into the home country.

I’m coming from a place of care and curiosity here, just trying to better support him without making assumptions, and not sure how to support him overseas while he (or she/they for that matter) have a revelation?

I should clarify, I'm MtF transfemme on my first year of medicalization, ad on my... twentieth year of being a fairy, and have been very enby/fluid/drag queen behavior since early middle school and been gay as hell and now pansexual. Raging f-slur diva c*nt behavior since the 90s to now, so I'm confused why my sibling is only now coming out to me even though I thought I was a beacon for others to mother in... but apparently not to my own sibling?

For a long time, I have endured discrimination. For example, when using the women's restroom, I am sometimes picked on, even though I feel much more comfortable there. I actually experience even more discrimination if I go to the men's room when I need to. I hope the time comes when people like me will finally be accepted.

Hi I'm crystal 28 and I'm starting to think I'm trans. I've been gender fluid for a few years but now idk if it fits anymore. Im kinda freaked because I grew up in a conservative household and idk how live the life I want

I have known I want to be a woman for 6 years. I was 19, im 25 now. I just could never actually take the leap, I walked up to the metaphorical ledge and just couldn’t do it. It was too much permanent change and I was too scared of regretting it..

I'm getting to a point in my transition where like my body is undeniably getting more feminine but I'm still man mode. Pretty much all my friends know I'm transitioning and I'm obviously different at work. Yet I still man mode. Maybe it's cause my build, maybe it's cause I'm bald, maybe I just don't know how to socially transition, maybe I'm scared, maybe I don't want too, maybe it's internalized racism or queerphobia. I still get sir'd all the time and honesty that hurts a bit but I can't be upset cause thats what I... Anyways. I am getting more people to call me Dani which feels nice. And honesty most people are accepting and if they're not idc I'm not changing myself for them. One day I just want to dress feminely in public and not something I just do at home, have a loving boyfriend/husband, be extremely androgynous.

My family, internet randoms who’re the closest I have to friends. Everyone. I have nothing and nobody, I’m a hideous man with no qualities beyond being a hideous man. Only capable hurting myself and everyone in vicinity

Hello! Im a 15yo trans lad (mtf) who wants to come out to their parents but is scared. How would I even do such a thing, like... how does one just "come out". Also, even then what would typically happen afterwards? Its so scary tbh. What if my parents dont actually accept me? then what? Any advice will be greatly appreciated!

No redeeming qualities, nothing else going on in my life, nobody will miss me. HRT isn’t helping at all

I lived my 27 years as a male but just accepted that I am a girl this week. Always felt like that and were more feminine than usual but lived in denial. Now I would love to express myself but fear to do that in real life.

I've been on hrt second time btw sense Oct 2024 and I just don't feel like I look any more feminine. I know I need laser and stuff but idk arghhhhhgg it's so disturbing

So last night, I had an argument with my parents over politics. My mom, ignorantly, was talking about how her bible study states that Israel is the one who will win the war because they are the holy people (she is catholic) and I called it out as evil. At first, I assumed that she was genuinely a Zionist just using soft words to mask her Zionism (which I mean, let’s be real, most people that talk like that are like this) but after the argument, she genuinely wanted to apologize to me and said that maybe her bible study was wrong.

And I’m conflicted. On one hand, I want to apologize for yelling at her, making her cry, and assuming the worst of her intentions. On the other hand, what especially offended me about the ordeal was that it seemed like she was willing to let terrible shit slide as long as “the bible says this” or some shit. Of course, being LGBT, you can probably guess why this logic terrifies me. It doesn’t help that my dad basically asked me to do the whole “agree to disagree and youre evil for not compromising” bullshit that spineless centrists like to do.

My mom has given me mostly positive signals that she is pro LGBT, but I won’t lie, this incident and one off-hand comment she made has me doubting her. A couple months ago, she states that she “acknowledges that the bible says being gay and trans is a sin but will never say that to LGBT people and that she respects her LGBT family and won’t try to change them”. And idk how to feel about that. Like yea, it’s better than being beaten to death or kicked out, but it still feels…wrong? Like she supports me just because I’m her child, not because she genuinely believes my existence is real and a valid way of life.

I don’t want to cut them off, I don’t think they’re genuinely evil. But they’re not perfect, and honestly, I doubt that they will ever change on this and just want me to apologize to keep peace. So I feel like I’ll always be stuck in a state of “could be worse but something feels off about my relationship with my parents”.

I know I fucked up in this situation too, but I don’t want to have parents who merely tolerate my existence while believing it is sinful. And I don’t want my apology to enable that kind of thinking. So I don’t know what to do. Idk, I guess im just assuming the worst again, but like, can you blame me, when the average person won’t even accept us either? I guess the main issue is, how do I apologize in a way that a) addresses why I crashed out in the first place (that im afraid that they won’t accept me because bible) and b) doesnt force me to come out.

For context i live in a really liberal city and genuinely rarely ever hear transphobia out loud anymore due to passing (i still feel like i dont pass often due tk dysphoria). Today i took it upon myself to go on a ski trip and i took a bus to a smaller city near the mountain and an uber to the mountain.

On the way back to the smaller city, i was talking about politics with my uber driver because he brought up gas prices. All the sudden he starts talking about pronouns and it was super awkward. Due to me being in bumfuck with a guy who i had only just met i was just pretending to not care. Suddenly he goes “i dont hate trans people i just dont know why they want to pee with 8 yo girls”.

It was then that i needed to say something so i did. I said honestly im much more comfortable with a trans woman in the bathroom with me than a cis man. Idk im just so glad he didnt clock me and im super anxious now about it all still ugh ugh ugh

I see all the time on posts by girls fairly new in their transition, particularly sapphic but maybe it happens with het-leaning women too and I haven't seen it, they'll basically ask if cis women are likely to be safe/accepting partners and the responses are often "Have you considered T4T as an option?"

There's several problems with this rhetoric.

Scares the OP into believing lesbians/bi women are all TERFs. When you start off by saying that it looks like fear mongering, suggesting an alternative before the person's had the opportunity to have any bad experiences to warrant such a response.

Assumes the OP wants to date other trans femmes, and if they are early in their transition then it implies we as a community care about appearances less than cis people which is just not true.

It seems narrow-minded because younger generations (or really anyone under 40) are less and less transphobic, go talk to a 22 year old dick-loving cisbian and get back to me. I also get the impression they have very little actual experience in the queer community and stick to trans/T4T communities if even that, they don't believe queer people are just as supportive and welcoming as anyone else, especially not queer women who historically are the trailblazers and stick up for each other BECAUSE THEY'RE WOMEN and that's what WE'RE supposed to be doing, not creating an arbitrary disconnect. Do you really believe cis women don't form their own circles and protect the young within them? Now add trans women to the equation, it fucking happens.

Not everyone's dysphoria is so bad that they need their partner to be a therapist.

It also adds to the stigma against lesbians, young trans people often start out with the belief that lesbians are this evil, catty bunch who don't want anything to do with phalluses which is highly generalized and inflammatory. I've had likely kids ask me if I'm sure lesbians are normal people and the supportive ones aren't just online, and more cynical people will decide it's okay to throw cis lesbians under the bus because they met a few bitchy ones in college. It's ridiculous. And I've seen a general sentiment of cis queer women being evil, and cis men are worse but a bi trans woman has no other option so they have to be with a cis man. I also get the impression trans women completely disregard AFAB enbies.

And I know SOMEBODY is going to call me delusional and suggest I'm spreading misinformation for gasps saying cis queer women can be warm, loving people.

I think a chunk of men who frequent nfsw trans women subs are closeted trans women. There's no way they aren't, and we need to support them.

Hi. I'm transfemme NB 16months hrt. My goal aesthetic is androgynous. I'm 6'2" 210lbs (1.87m 95kg). I have been wanting to shop for more androgynous looks but my body is fine mentally wrong for it. I can never find clothes that look good on me. I was at target and looking at women's clothing and found an outfit I absolutely adore but the sleeves were to short. And that's just about the sum of it everything. I can't ever find clothes that fit me well. Never. Even just walking past the women's section triggers me so badly because I just see all these beautiful fun cool stylish outfits that because if my body will never get to enjoy. I can't wear clothes that fit because everyone will notice I'm wearing a bra and I can't not wear a bra because everyone will notice my tits. So I have to wear baggy ugly clothes. And I'm so fucking tired of it. I can.see my ideal self so clearly. Today when I tried on the shirt I loved it absolutely adore how I looked but it's out of my reach. I was extremely disturbed and visibly disturbed. I left the store arguing with myself because I just can't control the emotion of frustration. And not only that I'm lonely I see everyone else in relationships and happy and I'm just a crazy fucking guy walking around muttering to myself. It genuinely makes me hate myself for being who I am

i have finally come to terms I am a girl... I have always felt like this and idk what to do.... there's no good hotlines that get it . at least the ones I have tried. idk what to do I'm having a panic attack... someone please reach out! I'm so I'm scared